


We Taught Ourselves to Smile

by macabreiero, Retrograde_Raven



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Nonbinary Party Poison (Danger Days), The Fabulous Killjoys (Danger Days) Are Not MCR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 104,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22343668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macabreiero/pseuds/macabreiero, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retrograde_Raven/pseuds/Retrograde_Raven
Summary: Our words get stuckSo we taught ourselves to smileYours shines so brightThat it makes me shiver-Great Party; FIATFVGhoul is tinkering around with some bombs one day when one goes off and he doesn't wake up.I'm absolute shit at summaries please read it thanksUPDATEthat summary is for the first chapter only, the second chapter on is another thing.The Fab Four are called in by Dr. Death Defying to work with a crew of Juvies to break the Girl and other captured killjoys out of BLITRIGGER WARNINGS: blood, swearing, mentions of past trauma/rape, self-destructive thoughts/actions
Relationships: Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (Danger Days), Kobra Kid/Mr. Sandman (Fall Out Boy)
Comments: 74
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to my friend Ash who helped me write and edit this  
> Comments are highly appreciated, and I will reply to each one I get
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Swearing, mentions of past trauma/rape, blood, self-destructive/suicidal thoughts/actions

### Poison

Poison was drawing in a booth when the explosion rang through the air. Kobra and Jet were out on a run, so they pulled out their blaster and rushed out of the diner. Expecting dracs or 'crows they rushed as quietly as possible around the diner toward the origin of the blast. As they rounded the corner they saw the blast zone and dropped their blaster to reach the crumpled boy lying in a smoking heap at the center.

"GHOUL!" The red-haired killjoy sprinted toward their fallen friend, dropping to their knees in a perfect baseball slide to cradle Ghoul's face in their shaking hands while searching wildly for a pulse. _Ga-thunk. Oh, thank the Witch he's alive. Ga-thunk. Oh fuck. It's too slow. Ga-thunk._ Poison could feel their heart beating faster as Ghoul's slowed. Shaking themselves out of their panic, Poison gently picked up Ghoul's unconscious form and rushed him into the diner. Ghoul took a shuddering breath and Poison felt their heart skip a beat as their veins turned to ice. 

With their free hand, Poison shoved their art supplies off the diner's counter and gently set Ghoul down before lunging for the radio.

"Kobes! Jet! Are any of you there?" Their voice is shaking and Poison curses themself for letting their emotions get so out of control. But, they supposed that since the man they'd been pastel for several years now was now dying on the counter next to them warranted some voice cracks. The static on the radio gave way to a voice.

"Party? This is- _ksshhhrk_ -bra. W- _ksshhrk_ -wrong?" Trying to keep their voice from shaking again, Poison picked up the radio.

"Ghoul's been hurt. I- I don't know how exactly, maybe he was working on a new bomb or something but he- something went wrong and he got caught in the blast and he's not waking up and Destroya, what do I _do_ ?" Their composure was rapidly falling apart and they could feel their throat closing up. "Jet was the last one to use the medkit what'd he do with it, I _need_ to help him, I need to-"

"Party. Calm down. Freaking out won't do anyone any good, let alone Ghoul. The med kit's under the sink in the bathroom. We're on Guano now but we'll stop by Tommy's and see if we can't haggle some shit off of him for you but I don't think we'll be back before tomorrow." Kobra's voice was calming and Poison could feel their breathing slowing down gradually. He set the radio down, making sure it was still on and went to go find the medkit.

When they got back to the counter, Poison started to gently take off Ghoul's jacket, laying it carefully under the boy's head as a makeshift pillow. They noticed with no small amount of relief that there wasn't much blood, only a few scrapes along his arms and face. His jacket seemed to have taken the brunt of the blast, it was riddled with new burn holes and bits of plastic were imbedded in the leather lining. Ghoul let out a breath and Poison was immediately at his side, gently stroking the hair out of the boy’s face. It seemed so odd to see Ghoul like this, the normally loud, sarcastic, outgoing boy. Fuck, it really hurt to see this boy who they loved so much just… just barely alive. Poison had to fight hard just to keep their tears at bay.

“You’re going to be alright. I’m going to take care of you.” They whispered softly, their voice breaking, completely riddled with fear.

* * *

#### Three Years Ago

Poison was drawing in a booth when they heard the engines. Kobra was out on a run, but he wasn’t due back for another two days. Engines. Plural. _Dracs_ . Poison jumped up, nearly spilling their supplies all over the floor. Cursing, they pulled out their blaster and stood with their back against the wall, ready to burst through the door at the first sign of a firefight. The roar of machinery grew steadily louder until all at once it shut off, and the inimitable sounds of blaster shots rang through the air. _Why would they be shooting already? They don’t know I’m here._

“ _FUCK!”_ A clear voice cut through the static the gunfire created. A voice laced with emotion. A killjoy’s voice. _Fuck meeeee,_ Poison raised their gun and burst through the door.

Four dracs huddled around a small black lump and were kicking the shit out of it. Poison took them out easily but kept his gun up as the stranger picked themselves off the ground with a groan. The stranger’s mask had fallen off in the clap, and the first thing Poison saw as they flicked the long black hair was a pair of eyes so green they almost glowed. They felt their resolve waver as those glowing eyes bored into his own. It felt as though those eyes could take apart their very soul and leave them in pieces, yet somehow they were comforting.

"Who the fuck are you and what are you doing here," the stranger had fury in their voice despite their small stature and Poison found it almost endearing.

"Who the fuck am I? Who the fuck are _you?"_ Poison realized their gun had slowly fallen and they brought it back up to eye level and grabbed it with their other hand as if to enforce their resolve as well as their aim. The stranger drew himself almost up to their full height, still almost a half-foot shorter than Poison. 

"Fun Ghoul." _Fun Ghoul… it fits him._ "And since we're doing introductions and it's obvious neither of us has any association with BLI whatsoever, would you mind taking your gun out of my fucking face?"

"Sorry," Poison lowered the blaster but kept it in their hand just in case. "I'm Party Poison." Fun Ghoul tilted his head to the side, his dark eyebrows knitting together as the two killjoys studied each other. Wow, they really had never seen someone in the desert that looked like _that_. How was a guy like that even real? His lustrous eyes took in everything about Poison, yet they didn't feel uncomfortable.

"Okay, but what are you fucking doing here?" He said after a while, folding his arms across his chest. Poison studied the boy's arms, already covered in swirling tattoos, despite him looking about twelve years old. They realized they had been staring for far too long, and shaking their head, replied;

"I fucking live here asshole, and if you tell anyone where I am I'll hunt you down." They nearly winced at their harsh words and worried Fun Ghoul might take offense, but he just held up his hands in surrender.

"Alright, you win. I'll pack up the gear I dropped and be out of your pretty little crash queen hair." _Pretty. He said I'm pretty. Fuck._ Ghoul began to take steps toward the supplies scattered about the bikes that had brought this whole mess here in the first place, and Poison was almost too preoccupied with the fact that Ghoul had called them _pretty_ to notice the boy in question swaying slightly, or the blood that was slowly running down his arm. Almost. 

Poison caught him just before he dropped, now bleeding profusely, into the sand. He wasn’t very heavy in Poison’s arms, no wonder he was rather small but it still gave him an odd fluttery feeling in his chest. _Get yourself together_ , they thought, _he’s halfway to death, you can’t be thinking like that_. But something about it was just… it felt right, despite him having just met this guy.

"Whoa there, don't go dying on me now, we've barely got enough gas to make it to Tommy's, much less the mailbox." With a little less grace than they would've liked, Poison carried Ghoul inside the diner and went to work cleaning the offending injuries.

* * *

#### Present Day

Five minutes ago Poison had found a giant gash on Ghoul's leg. They had nearly vomited at the sight of it, Poison cursed themselves for the phobia they had developed over the years. Not so long ago it would’ve had little effect on them, but trauma’s a bitch like that, popping up in the most inconvenient times. 

Poison and Kobra had been on a run. Poison had gotten shot in the chest, and though they had lived, it had been months before they were able to get the thick, metallic taste of blood out of their mouth. Small amounts of blood that came from your average scraped knee or cut finger were fine, but anything larger than that made their stomach churn. Cuts near an artery that went nearly down to the bone? They’re lucky to be conscious. 

Holding down the contents of their stomach, they cut Ghoul’s pants off just above the wound and began to pick out the fragments of cloth and metal embedded around the gash with shaking hands. Sand had already gotten inside, so Poison made the executive decision to rinse it out with some of their clean water. _Fuck, that’s a lot of blood. Shut up. Remember what Kobra said, “freaking out won’t help anyone.” You can do this. You’re Party motherfucking Poison. Crash Queen Extraordinaire. BLI public enemy number one. Nothing scares you. It’s only the love of your fucking life on that table._ Poison froze as a small whimper escaped Ghoul’s mouth with the removal of the last of the debris. He was starting to move around a little bit and Poison double-checked Ghoul’s leg for anything else that could infect it before returning to his head and wiping as much of the dirt and grime off of his face as he could. 

Ghoul coughed, and the noise was so sudden that Poison flinched. Realizing that the boy wasn't yet waking up, Poison dashed to the kitchen to the stash of alcohol that Kobra insisted was for purely medical purposes. Part of them was tempted to down half a bottle right then and there as he took it back to the table.

"I'm sorry about this Darling, it's going to sting but if we don't disinfect it we'll have worse problems on our hands," they said, pressing a rag they had doused in whiskey to the angry red gash, flinching when they noticed shudders from Ghoul.

* * *

#### 2 Years Ago

Poison tapped out the rhythm of a long-forgotten song, humming notes they could barely remember. Ghoul was sitting at their back, unable to sleep. There was a deep breath.

"Can I ask you something?" Ghoul sounded nervous. 

"Fire away." Poison leaned their head back far enough that their head was on Ghoul's shoulder, and they could just barely see into his eyes if they craned their neck hard enough.

"So I like this person, and I don't know how to get them to notice me in _that_ way, you know?" Poison made a small, non-committal noise and felt their stomach turn to acid. _Fuck_ . "I've known them for a while now and every time I see them it's like _damn_ I could see myself loving them." Their heart was slowly coming apart with each word out of Ghoul's mouth, and Poison was grateful for the firelight concealing their face. "And I don't think they'd ever be interested in me, like I'm just a guy. I'm not that great, and they're so fucking pretty and," Ghoul had turned around, clearly needing more help than Poison could give, but dammit if they weren't going to try. They got up and sat in front of Ghoul, no matter how much it pained them.

"Hey," they said softly, more than a little tempted to cradle his face in their hands. They settled on holding Ghoul's shoulders. "Look at me." He did. "You're amazing. You're smart, and talented, and funny, and cute, and if they don't see that they don't deserve you. Whoever it is would be crazy not to love you." Ghoul smiled, weak and watery, and Poison's heart broke again. _Destroya, this boy is going to be the death of me._

"Tell me about them," they said gently, wiping away some of the tears that had begun to fall. Ghoul's face lit up and there was that sinking feeling again, that feeling of ‘he’ll never love me,’ and ‘I’ll never be good enough,’ but Poison just pushed it down. So what if he was in love with someone else? He deserved happiness just as much as the next person, perhaps even more. He'd been through so much in just a few years. If he loved someone else Poison could take it.

"They're fantastic. They're so clever and sweet sometimes it kills me, I really look up to them, you know? And then they’re just…. Ugh, they’re so incredibly amazing. They like to think they're an asshole but they're one of the kindest people I've ever known. One time they found this Polaroid in the sand and they wouldn't stop taking pictures until it ran out. They care so much about the people close to them, I think they'd die for them in a heartbeat. And fuck, they're _gorgeous_ ." Poison had never seen Ghoul so animated, and it was the cutest thing they'd ever seen. Ghoul's remarkable eyes were glowing in the firelight, lighting up his whole face as his hands wove through the air in tandem with each new thought. _If he wasn't describing someone else, I'd kiss him_. The thought brought a smile to their face, the idea of Ghoul's mouth on theirs, the idea that Ghoul might enjoy it. It would be different this time. He was safe. They would be safe.Then reality set in and they came crashing down even harder than before.

"They've got the prettiest goddamn face I've ever seen." Each word was another knife in Poison's chest.. _They’d better make him the happiest person in the zones._ “They’ve got this brother, yeah? And they’re the closest siblings ever. I’ve seen them tear apart the zones multiple times just to find each other, it’s amazing. They’re the reason I keep going when everything seems bleak, and there’s absolutely no way in hell they’d be interested in me. They could never love me in a million years.” The pain in Ghoul’s voice was heartbreaking, and so Poison offered as much comfort as they could. With a sad smile they breathed; 

“I highly doubt it, darling.”

* * *

#### Present Day

“Come on Darling, you’ve got to wake up. I can’t do this without you.” Poison was stroking Ghoul’s face with one hand and holding his hand with the other. Once the basic first-aid was done, there was nothing left to do but pray to the Witch and hope for an answer until Jet got back. He was the crew’s medic, not Poison. Every so often Ghoul would take a shuddering breath, and their own would stop for a moment as they wondered if it was the last. 

The sound of an approaching engine immediately set Poison on edge. A few moments of hard listening, and they recognized it as the Trans AM. _Fucking finally_. 

Jet and Kobra walked in a moment later, talking animatedly as if Poison's heart wasn't unconscious on the counter. 

"Destroya, Party, you look like shi-oh. What the fuck happened?" Kobra had almost been smiling a moment ago and now his face was ashen. Poison looked down at themselves and over at Ghoul, finally noticing the bloodstains covering their shirt and the counter. 

"There was an accident," their voice was raw with emotion, "Something went wrong while Ghoul was tinkering and some shrapnel got caught in his leg and, well, you get the idea." They ran their hands through their hair for probably the tenth time that day, not caring about the blood and grime that would inevitably be stuck in it for weeks. "I tried my best to get him cleaned up, but the medkit was running low and all I was able to do was patch up the big stuff and I feel like I should've done more." They looked up at their brother helplessly, tears forming. "I have to do more. I have to help him!" Kobra sat next to them, rubbing their back in comforting circles. 

"You've done a great job dressing the gash, it's very clean." Jet was looking over Ghoul, poking and prodding in various places. "He should be fine. I can't find any traces of major damage, it's likely that he's just really tired. That leg will have to be cleaned regularly and rested for at least a week, though." Poison nearly started crying in relief, and Kobra gave up on the back rubbing and just pulled them in for a hug. 

"You're such a dumbass, of course he'll be fine, he's always fine. Contrary to popular belief, Ghoul's one tough motherfucker, Ri. He'll wake up soon, and you can give him all the shit you want for being an idiot and nearly getting himself killed." Poison grinned into Kobra's jacket. Escaping his brother's limbs, Poison went to fix their shirt, which had gotten rumpled, and it finally registered that they were covered in blood.

"What th- you know what, I give up. I'll just go change. Keep an eye on him?" Kobra nodded encouragingly and Poison left to go find something relatively clean to wear. Seeing that their pants were filthy as well, they decided to just change altogether. 

Poison returned to the front of the diner in their last remaining outfit, a black leather miniskirt and a neon green crop top. They froze for just a second before putting on the clothing. It had been quite some time since they worn this kind of attire. Two, maybe even three years, actually. And the last time they had worn this outfit… they didn't like to think about that. They hadn't been wearing their jacket so they put that on over the top of the ensemble. The sun was beginning to set, and the evening chill was setting in. Sunlight filtered through the windows and the whole world looked aflame. 

Poison moved so he was standing at Ghoul's head, gently carding their fingers through their hair. The last thing they were expecting was his low groan that filled the air.

* * *

### Ghoul

"Oooohhhhhhh… _fuck_!" Ghoul's eyes opened slowly, blinking in the golden lighting. The first thing he saw was a flash of bright red before a pair of lips crashed into his own. He could feel familiar hands on his face, somehow rough and soft at the same time. Poison hummed into Ghoul's mouth, and he could barely hold back a smile.

"Hello, Darling," Ghoul hated to admit it, but he fucking loved that stupid nickname. 

"Hey Prettyboy, did you miss me?" Ghoul drawled, speaking softly and lazily against Poison’s lips then all of a sudden Poison's mouth was gone. 

"You fucking _ASSHOLE_ I THOUGHT YOU GOT _GHOSTED_ DON'TYOUEVER, FUCKINGPULLTHATSHITONMEAGAIN, DOYOUUNDERSTAND! I- I can't lose you ok? It would break me." Their voice was breaking, and Ghoul sat up. And immediately regretted it. 

Blood rushed to his head and Ghoul keeled over, Poison just barely catching him before he hit the floor.

"Whoa there Crash Queen, you may be conscious but you're not shiny yet, okay? Take it easy for a minute, you're going to die of exhaustion." Poison propped Ghoul up against them, dragging one of his arms over their shoulders and snaking one of their own around his waist. 

"Absolutely gorgeous. You dress up so pretty just for me?" Ghoul grinned a big cheesy smile as he leaned further into Poison. He was in complete awe about how even in his sleep-deprived, pained state he still managed to find them so fucking beautiful in every way. It was crazy how after these years, Ghoul was still able to find Poison so beautiful. He absolutely adored it when they wore skirts and showed themselves off to Ghoul. He knew how uncomfortable it made them so when they dressed like this for him, it sure was a treat... they were so gorgeous. Their hair was messy and flying everywhere, Ghoul assumed from him freaking out when they initially discovered him. But the messy look was good for Poison and he was every single day impressed with how beautiful they were to him. He never got tired of them and just how absolutely stunning and wonderful they were.

"Guys. I'm _RIGHT. HERE."_ Kobra's voice cut through Ghoul's thoughts, and he could see the disgust in the other boy's face. Ghoul flipped him off in response and pulled Poison closer to his side, pressing a soft kiss to their neck, careful not to be too rough. "Okay, fine. I give up. You guys go be gross or whatever, I'll be outside. Should I put the earplugs in?" Kobra threw up his hands and marched out of the room, his hands over his eyes. 

"You're seriously such a tease," Poison muttered into the top of his head as all of Ghoul's energy suddenly drained out of him. "Besides, you've got to rest. I don't think you've slept in weeks, and Destroya only knows what that can do to you." Ghoul didn't know how it happened, but Poison was suddenly carrying him, one arm under his legs and the other under his back. Now that he was off his feet, Ghoul could feel his head beginning to spin. 

"Heyyy, I don't need any fuckin’… sleep… I feel… so fuckin’ shiny, Pois, I could fight the fuckin’... Witch herself and win." Ghoul was rapidly losing control of his body as the events of the last few weeks caught up to him. 

"Sure you could, Darling." Poison was smiling down at him like he was their world, eyes soft and glowing, their mouth curved up gently. Destroya, they're beautiful.

"Oh fuck. That shit hurts! You win, I'll sleep… but! Only if you do too. You've gone just as long without sleep as me you dumbass, probably longer knowing you." Poison opened their mouth to protest, but Ghoul held up a finger to their mouth. "No. You can't hide from me. The last time you got a good night's sleep was ages ago, and you spent all of today taking care of me and worrying. You've got to be exhausted. We're going to bed. Both of us. And you _._ Will. _Sleep_ . _"_ Poison sighed, and set him down on the mattress. 

"Fine, but only because I love you so much." They sat down on the bed and Ghoul wrapped his arms around their middle and pulled the both of them down, Poison's back pressed tight to Ghoul's stomach. Ghoul pressed his nose to the back of Poison's neck, breathing in the smell of them. Sweat and hair dye and old acrylic paints. _Home._

"I love you too," he whispered into Poison's hair. "so much."

* * *

#### One Year Ago

"I'VE GOT AN IDEA," Ghoul shouted over the gunfire, "IT COULD GO COSTA RICA BUT IT COULD ALSO GET US OUT OF THIS MESS."

"FUCKING DO IT THEN!" Kobra was slowly backing himself into a corner, surrounded by so many dracs not even the most talented shooter could take down. Ghoul pulled out the last bomb he had. 

"GET DOWN!" he tossed it in the general direction of the crowd of dracs surrounding Kobra. The bomb was nothing special, nothing more than a grenade really, it was round and small and easily carried. But small sizes meant it bounced. And roundness meant it rolled. So while Ghoul tossed it so it would land nowhere near Kobra, it bounced and rolled until he was just inside it's lethal range. 

The bomb went off.

* * *

"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN MY BROTHER KILLED!" Poison had never yelled like this before. Ghoul had never seen so much rage and pain in their face. Not even when Korse had flat out shot Kobra a few months ago. There had been anger then yes, but nowhere near this much pain. Their hair was wild and sticking up, their golden eyes nearly full of tears. The mischievous glow that normally graced their beautiful features was gone, hidden behind a mask that twisted their face. There were so many emotions present, and Ghoul could only understand two.

"I WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP!" Ghoul could feel his throat closing up and tears threatened to fall. "NO ONE GOT HURT!" He couldn't let himself cry, not now. Not in front of Poison. But everything was crashing down, blowing up in his face.

"BUT SOMEONE COULD HAVE! MY BROTHER! KOBRA COULD HAVE GOTTEN HURT! AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! THE ONLY REASON HE'S ALIVE RIGHT NOW IS PURE FUCKING LUCK!" They were crying now, and Ghoul's heart twisted. "I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU HERE! GET OUT!" Fuck it. At this point, Ghoul was crying too, he couldn't keep his poker face any longer as hot tears spilled over both of their cheeks as they both fought fruitlessly to maintain their composures.

"WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GO? BACK TO BAT CITY LIKE A FUCKING JUVIE?"

"I DON'T CARE WHERE! WHY NOT GO STAY WITH THAT PERSON YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH, YOU SEEM TO KNOW THEM WELL ENOUGH!"

"BECAUSE IT'S YOU, DUMBASS!"

"Wh-" Poison instantly deflated, all of the emotion that had been pouring out of them in waves, gone. With four little words, Fun Ghoul had rendered Party Poison speechless. 

"I'm-" Ghoul took a deep breath, trying to even out his voice before continuing. "This isn't the way I wanted to say this. Destroya, I had it all planned out!" He ran his hands through his hair, pacing the room. Poison had sat down, and was following his movements with tear-stained eyes. "I was going to bring you to the roof one night, when you could really see the stars, and we would sit on a blanket together and I would tell you. I guess that's not happening now, huh," He laughed dryly, "Here goes nothing." He stood in front of Poison, wringing his hands before taking theirs. Poison was staring at him with bright eyes, all traces of anger gone. "Party Poison. I love you. I am, _in love_ , with you. I don't know for how long, by the time I had figured it out I had already fallen so _fucking_ hard I knew it was different." He was rushing his words now, and he looked at Poison's face and found it indecipherable. He didn’t know if he was doing something wrong, maybe coming off to strong… but nevertheless he continued.

"But I love your hair and your voice and your face and the way you don't take shit from anyone. I love how much you care for your brother and Jet and me. I love how you always smell like sweat and old paint. I love the way your face lights up when you hear a song you recognize. I love that even if you don't understand why, you'll still try to help someone no matter what. I love that stupid thing your fingers do where the one sticks out much farther than the others. I just- I love you, and I have for years! Those first few weeks I hated you, I fucking despised you, you were so _loud_ and _important_ and everything I wasn't. And then a few months in, I don't know. It was like I saw you for the first time all over again, and you were _beautiful_." Poison was smiling now, the genuine kind that lit up their whole face. "That night a year or so ago, when I told you I loved someone? I was talking about you. I thought I was being so obvious, and that you caught on at the end. But I guess we're both idiots, huh?" Ghoul smiled crookedly at Poison as they stood up, still smiling. "Can you say something? I need you to say something."

Poison stepped closer to Ghoul, the two only six inches apart now. Ghoul longed to close the gap, to press his lips against Poison's and taste them, but he waited for them. This was their decision. He couldn't force his feelings on them. Poison looked down at Ghoul's hands, his fingers twisting around each other in a nervous, writhing coil. Their brow furrowed and they took his hands in theirs, gently separating his fingers and weaving them through their own. Poison stared at their linked hands for what felt like years before bringing their eyes back to Ghoul's and dropping his hands. His stomach dropped. Poison placed their hands on his cheeks, wiping away the tears that had fallen with so much attention and care it made Ghoul's heart stutter. His skin was tingling at every point where Poison's touched his own, and though he didn't mean to, he leaned into their touch. They stood like that for what felt like hours but couldn't have been more than ten seconds, simply staring into each other's eyes. 

Then Poison's grip on Ghoul's face tightened for an instant and they smashed their lips together. 


	2. Chapter 2

### Kobra

"D wants us to do _what?"_ Kobra had heard of some stupid missions in his time as a Killjoy, but nothing had ever come close to the words that had just come from Poison's mouth. 

"I said he wa-"

"Yeah, I heard you the first time but _what?_ Break into BLI's most secure facility and risk fuckin' dying for _one girl?_ Is he _insane?_ " Kobra ran his hands through his hair, watching his sibling as they sat down heavily in a half-wrecked booth. His stomach was already beginning to turn thinking about everything that could go wrong. 

"What's this about a mission?" Ghoul came from the kitchen and promptly sat in his partner's lap.

"Dr. Death wants us to go on a fuckin' suicide run, that's what!" Kobra began pacing the room, unable to keep still any longer. "He wants to send us into the middle of Bat City to rescue some fuckin' motorbaby and he won't tell us why or who we'll be working with!" Kobra saw Ghoul and his sibling exchange glances. Ghoul was sitting sideways on Poison's lap, one arm over their shoulders. Poison had one hand holding onto Ghoul's free one and the other around his waist, both of them perfectly content in the other's company. It was adorable really, how happy they were together. Especially after everything they’d been through, everything they had put themself through before they found him. "I'm gonna go for a drive, find some rookie Crash Queens to win against." He needed some air, and a good old-fashioned dirt race was the best way to get some. 

As he approached his bike, Kobra noticed some clouds gathering off to the North, but waved them off and drove out toward Zone 5, where he knew there would be races for the next week. 

Riding a bike was like nothing he had ever done. Nothing was more exhilarating than driving across the sand at breakneck speeds, nothing between him and the outside world. _This must be what it feels like to fly_ , he had thought the first time he had ridden one, and every time since. He could remember what it was like to be on an airplane, a memory just barely on the cusp of Oblivion, but it didn't feel like this. This was so much better. The wind whipped the loose ends of his jacket around his arms and stomach, and Kobra could feel the drop of his stomach with every dip in the sand and the force of every turn in his gut like the blood in his veins. 

The racing track was buzzing with people, crowds of Joys, Tumbleweeds, and Runners as far as Kobra could see. Engines roared over the din of chatter, cars and bikes alike. The crowds automatically parted for Kobra as he rode to the edge of the so called track, but all conversation in his area slowly died as they took in who had joined them, replaced slowly by awed whispers.

"Holy shit that's _Kobra Kid_ . _The_ Kobra Kid!"

"Kobra Kid as in member of the Fab Four?"

"No, dumbass! Kobra Kid as in the best racer east of Bat City!"

No matter how many times he went to racetracks around the zones, he never got used to hearing people talk about him like he was some sort of racing legend, on par with those who did this before the Wars. He wanted to tell that that he's just a guy who happened to find a bike when he first got out of Bat City and do nothing but ride it for months, no matter what though, they never seemed to listen, always insisting he was some racing god. 

The crowds were packed tight around the edge of the track, chanting an array of names at varying volumes. The person with the most fans seemed to be named Sandman. Odd. Kobra had heard of a Juvie called Sandman from Poison and other people, but he was supposedly too "high and mighty" for the Desert. As the race ended a cheer erupted throughout the crowds, and it appeared this Sandman had won.

Kobra rode his bike through the crowds, trying to catch a glimpse of the latest winner. Kobra finally got over to where the racers could park their bikes and hang out before and after races. There were a bunch of people gathered around one area, and a Runner Kobra almost recognized noticed him. 

"Eeyyyyy! Kobra Kid! You've got a competitor!" They dragged him over to the middle of the crowd, where a short man with hot pink hair was chatting, a motorbike helmet tucked under his arm. "Kobra Kid, Mr. Sandman. Sandman, meet the Kobra Kid, best damn racer east of Bat City." So it _is_ the Sandman he was thinking of! The short man looked up and Kobra had to stop himself from gasping aloud. 

Kobra had heard the name ‘Mr. Sandman’ before, most ‘joys had. He was practically the face of the Juvies, anyone who was anything knew about Sandman. And that added to Poison’s bitching, Kobra was sure he never wanted to meet this guy, he seemed like a real prick. But now here he was, standing before him. Pink gelled hair and an aggressive looking grin on his face. He was a good couple inches shorter than Kobra and slightly stockier but he seemed threatening, almost in the same way Ghoul was. And there was something, something strange about those eyes, those eyes the color of steaming mocha on a cool day. He didn't want to admit it but if this is what all the Juvies looked like, he wouldn't mind getting in with them.

"So you're the infamous Kobra Kid?" Sandman was craning his neck trying to look directly into Kobra's eyes and tilt his chin up at the same time. "You're shorter than I expected." A chorus of "Oooooooh"s rang out in the crowd.

"The circus called. They need their clown back." 

"It's Kobra with a 'K' right? I figured you wouldn't know how to read."

"This coming from the guy who goes by 'Sandman.'" Kobra nearly snorted, just barely holding his face neutral. "Do people just fall asleep around you because they're so tired of your bullshit?" The crowd looked like they were preparing for a fistfight, but both Kobra and Sandman remained relaxed. Kobra was still attempting almost bored with the situation, and succeeding, while Sandman's eyes glowed with amusement. It was almost cute, the way his face lit up with each round of insults. 

They continued in this manner for several minutes, each comeback cheesier than the last. 

"Look dear, why don't we just settle this on the track like any normal, insane, person would?" Sandman caved after a while. Kobra felt his face heating up but fought the urge to rush his words as a smirk crept onto Sandman's face. 

"Hmmm. Fine. I didn't have anything better to do. I do believe that my bike will grind yours into the dirt, but there's always the possibility you could _not_ fail miserably, and it's always good to try." Kobra left after that, off to grab his gear and check the gas on his bike. Plus, he couldn't let that snide motherfucker get the last word, no matter how cute he was. The crowd parted around him like he was holding a knife, the stony silence broken only by the rustling of his jacket and his footsteps in the sand.

Kobra and Sandman were lined up on the track, neither had their helmet on yet and both were sizing the other up. Kobra could feel his gut beginning to churn with pre-race excitement, and a small smile was starting to grow as he saw Sandman’s confidence begin to waver. The smaller man was putting on a brave face though, so Kobra gave him some credit for that. A Tumbleweed skated out in between the two, brandishing a dark blue ray gun pointed at the sky. 

“Three laps, no killing each other, may the best racer win,” she said through a lime green helmet.

“I plan on it,” Sandman said, putting his sunglasses on with a shit-eating grin. “See you at the finish line.”

The gun went off.

Kobra kicked up his feet. He let Sandman get a bit of a lead, hesitating a half-second at the starting line and shooting finger guns into the crowd before revving his bike and chasing after his competitor. Sandman was well ahead of him, but he wasn’t quite used to the racing of the desert just quite yet, and often swerved on each turn and lost a lot of ground, something Kobra was careful to take advantage of, each move thought out and calculated. 

Just halfway through the second lap, Kobra caught up to Sandman, kept pace with him for a moment, then started pulling ahead of him. The crowd went wild. Kobra could practically feel the energy created by everyone. Just before he finished the second lap, he allowed his focus to broaden. The third lap is when the spectators were allowed to start throwing things to give their favorite a better chance at winning, because nothing was ever supposed to be anything less than insanely difficult. Risking a quick glance over his shoulder, he could see Sandman keeping close behind him, his front wheel almost ahead of Kobra’s back one.

“Enough favors,” Kobra nearly spat into his helmet. He revved his bike, pulling ahead more and more each second, swerving gracefully around each object tossed in his path. So far he had seen some helmets, a few bottles, and even a ray gun in the dirt, all thrown in an attempt to keep him from winning. Some sick part of him was flattered that they cared enough to risk their possessions to stop his victory, but another part, the more dominant one, was worried about how fucked up their stuff could get when tossed in the path of a less experienced driver. Like Sandman. He looked over at his competitor, finding him much farther back than before, having slowed down to better avoid everyone’s stuff. It was actually kind of cute, his tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth and Kobra could just barely see that his brow was furrowed in concentration. Sandman took so much care to not completely crush anything under his bike, something that many a Killjoy had scoffed at and even taken the time to do the exact opposite of, going out of their way to destroy as much shit as possible in the least amount of time. Kobra was so distracted by this small kindness that he nearly slowed down himself, but he shook the last of the distracting thoughts out of his head and returned to the race, noticing with some shock that they were nearly done. 

The last turn was fast approaching, and the crowd was somehow getting _louder_ with each passing second. Each yard closer to the finish line caused a smile to grow on Kobra’s face. Sandman was just behind him again, having caught up after the whole debacle before. Kobra eased up on the throttle once more, just enough to give Sandman a little bit of edge, before he opened it all the way up and shot through the finish line, leaving Sandman in the dust.

“Holy _shit!_ How the _fuck_ did you do that, you completely _destroyed_ me!” despite suffering a defeat, the grin on Sandman’s face was as wide as ever, and his mocha eyes lit up with excitement. He was so cute, but Kobra couldn’t like him. No. He was bad news. Ghoul absolutely _hated_ the Youngbloods and Poison didn’t have a much higher opinion of them. He was loud. And obnoxious. And immature. And went through lovers faster than you could say “Destroya.” Kobra was only setting himself up for pain by liking him. So it was decided. Kobra couldn’t like him. And if he couldn’t like him it would be easier to hate him. The smile on his face faded. Sandman took in Kobra’s mood change and his face fell. 

“Your turns were sloppy, you slowed down too much during the third lap, and you’re obviously inexperienced when it comes to sand racing. Oh, and your bike is shit.” Kobra was ticking each reason off on his fingers, and every word was harsh and biting. Hurt flashed across Sandman’s face for a fraction of a second and Kobra’s stomach twisted before his face hardened. He immediately wanted to take it back. “I-”

“You know what, forget I asked. My crew was right when they said you killjoys have your heads so far up your asses you can’t see the rest of us,” Sandman spat before stomping away. It took everything Kobra had in him not to run after the shorter boy and apologize, to say that it came out wrong and that he actually did really well considering the circumstances, and that Kobra didn't mean to hurt him but he was scared of what his crew would think of him. But he didn’t. Because they couldn’t be friends. Because their crews hated each other. Somehow, Kobra had gotten himself stuck in a sort of post-apocalyptic _Romeo and Juliet_. Sighing, Kobra sat down with his back against his bike and head in his hands. He fucked up. He fucked up bad. Running his hands down his face, Kobra looked up at the sky. And froze. The clouds he had deemed too far away to matter had caught up with him. Before the wars, clouds in a desert would be a blessing, but now, living in this toxic hellhole, clouds meant death.

“Sandman!” The shorter man came jogging over.

“Yea- oh. It’s you.”

“There’s no time. We have to find shelter. _Now!”_ Kobra grabbed him by the arm and dragged both of them over to a nearby shed that stored extra helmets just as the rain started to fall. “Fuck. My radio!” He looked back at Sandman. “Stay here, it’s not safe outside.”

“What the fuck are you-” the door closed before Kobra could hear the rest of his sentence, and he pulled his jacket over his head, wincing at the burns that had already begun to form. 

Rain in the desert wasn’t just rain. It was full of chemicals leftover from the Helium Wars, and it burned through practically anything. BLI machinery was built to withstand it, so his bike would be fine, but his radio and helmet would be acidic puddles by the end of the storm if he didn’t retrieve them. He grabbed them both and made it back to the shed as fast as he could, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Okay, can you _please_ explain what’s going on, and why you smell like you’re on fire?” Kobra turned around to find Sandman right in his face. The shed was much smaller than he originally thought. There was barely enough room for the two of them to sit down.

“Acid rain. It comes by once every month or so, and I figured you wouldn’t recognize the signs, being a Juvie and all, and I couldn’t very well leave you to die out there.” Kobra was rambling, and he was pretty sure his face was bright red. _Fuck._ “But I’ve gotta radio Poison and let them know I’m okay, and my helmet is practically my mask I couldn’t just leave them out there.”

“Acid rain. Okay. Wait, hold up. You specifically called my name though. You know tons of people here, and you said my name.” His face lit up. “You _do_ care!”

“What? No!” Kobra’s face was heating up again. “Anyone could have seen you don’t know the first fucking thing about the desert. I don’t even know why a high ranking Juvie like yourself would be out here in Zone 5.”

“Oh I got sent here to meet up with Dr. Death Defying about a mission no-one will give me any fucking details for. All I know is my crew is supposed to rescue someone from BLI with the help of some desert crew. Do you happen to know anything about this? Dr. Death is like, your guys’ friend, right? I’m out here because I needed some air”

“Wait. It wouldn’t happen to be some girl you’re rescuing?” Sandman nodded, his eyes wide as it clicked. “We’re going on the same fucking run. Destroya, our crews are going to kill each other. My sibling’s boyfriend fucking hates you guys, be careful around him okay?”

“Oh shit. And you’re still pretending you don’t care, dear?” Sandman was smirking again.

“I don't, I just- I do care goddammit, but I- I can’t. Our crews hate each other." Kobra could feel his chest tightening for some fucking reason. Destroya, he was tired. He never cried, never, and here he was, tearing up because he couldn't be friends, or Destrya forbid, more, with some random Juvie he met because his best friend hated his guts. He could say all of his feelings, but there’s no way that could end well. Or could it? He took a deep breath. “And this could be a much bigger problem… because I… well I… I think I might like you. In… um… in a non-platonic way.” his voice was shaking and so were his hands. “And I um… don’t expect the same from you… we just met today and I understand that you probably don’t feel the same, fuck, I don’t even know if you’re into guys, but I don't think it would've been fair to you to not tell you everything. Whenever Poison or Ghoul come back from dealing with you guys, all they do is complain, about you, or just the Juvies in general, and I just, I tried to not let that affect anything but I don’t know how any of them would react and I just, I-”

“Okay, okay, Kid you gotta calm down alright?” Sandman’s voice was soothing, his steady hands placed gently over Kobra’s shaking ones. The taller boy slowed down his breathing, slowly pushing away the spots in his vision he hadn’t realized were there. “Let’s just work through this slowly. First of all, you should contact your crew, let them know you’re okay. You’ve got a sibling right? They’re going to be really worried about you.”

“Right.” Kobra pulled his hands out of Sandman’s and felt around in the semi-darkness for his radio. When he found it, he could immediately see that the antenna had been corroded away along with several other key parts. Cursing, Kobra threw the now useless radio to the ground. Worry completely plagued his mind. What was his crew gonna think, Jet or Ghoul, Poison especially. After being out in the rain, he was good as dead.“ _Fuck_. We’re fucking stuck here until the rain ends, which could be in minutes or days, though I doubt this shithole would last that long.” His breathing was speeding up again, the tremor returned to his hands. Within seconds, Sandman’s hands once more cradled his own, his thumbs stroking calming circles into Kobra’s palms. 

“Hey, hey, try and stay calm, okay? Panicking won’t help anyone. Here, why don’t we go through everything you said before and just now. You said our crews hate each other?” Kobra nodded feebly. “Well I know mine doesn’t. Not really, anyway. They actually really admire you guys for rallying the whole desert behind you, and I, for one, think its fucking awesome,” Sandman grinned, and Kobra offered a small smile in return. “And this roof is solid aluminum. I give it a week, at least, but I don’t think we’ll be here longer than a few hours.” Kobra’s breathing was slower once more, and his hands were steady, but Sandman kept holding them, causing an unwelcome flutter in Kobra’s chest. Now that he wasn’t on the verge of unconsciousness, he could feel every place where their skin met. Each point of contact felt like it was singing, it sent sparks up his arms, and his hands felt like they were burning and freezing simultaneously.

The two boys sat, hand in hand, in comfortable silence for a few moments, until Sandman slowly leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. Kobra tensed up for a moment, but eventually relaxed, the sparks in his hands now accompanied by the ones in his forehead.

“I do feel the same, you know.” Sandman’s voice was just barely above a whisper, his breath hot on Kobra’s face. “I’d like to… to be more than friends. I saw you, and it was like some piece of my life that had been missing had finally been found.” His breath hitched. “I don’t know what this is or what it could turn into, but I’d love to see where it takes us, Dear.”

“Then let’s see,” Kobra was flat out grinning in the dark, “maybe we could bring our crews together, get them to stop hating each other so much.” the last of his nerves faded away, and he felt Sandman shift in front of him. Kobra heard the shorter boy sit down beside him, and felt Sandman rest his head on Kobra’s shoulder. Playing with their linked fingers, Kobra let his head rest on top of Sandman’s, feeling new sparks beginning to grow on his face and neck as the world grew quiet around them. Too quiet. “I think the rain’s stopped,” he whispered into Sandman’s hair. “We have to get back to our crews. Poison’s gonna flip their shit.” Sandman sighed, pulling away from Kobra’s side, and he found himself missing his touch almost immediately. “When were we supposed to meet up with Dr. D to talk about the mission?”

“I think it was in a week. Dunno why we bothered to come out here so early,” Sandman opened the door to the shed, allowing the last of the day’s sunlight to reveal their things. Kobra’s helmet and what used to be his radio were sitting in a corner, and Kobra decided that despite being useless, he should take the hunk of plastic and see if there were any salvageable parts. “We could get together sometime before that, you know. This place doesn’t move, dear.”

“Why’d you start calling me that?”

“What, Dear?” Kobra nodded. “I don’t know why the first time, probably because I thought it’d piss you off, but then you blushed and it was the cutest fucking thing since kittens, and i just couldn’t stop myself after that.” Sandman’s face was bright and it brightened more when Kobra blushed again. Kobra grinned and punched the smaller boy playfully on the arm, who gasped dramatically and pulled the most sarcastically offended face Kobra had ever seen. They stood frozen for a few seconds before bursting out laughing, 

“Ok but seriously, we should go. The owner of this place might come around to make sure no one stole her shit,” Kobra said as he gasped for breath, “she’ll fucking hunt you down and kick your ass.”

“Oh, I guess I should definitely steal something then.” Sandman’s ever-present grin widened, his voice playful and bouncy, a tone that Kobra, for whatever reason, absolutely adored. “Though I do suppose I can’t afford to mess up my face. Would you still like me if my face was like this?” He squashed one side of his face down and the other up, and Kobra giggled—fucking _giggled_ , Destroya, where did _that_ come from? 

“Oh, I don’t know, you’d be pretty hideous,” He said with mock concentration. Sandman let go of his face with an offended gasp and morphed it into an exaggerated pout, all wide, sad eyes and full, downturned lips. Maybe it was the way the setting sun reflected off the sand onto his soft face, or the way his mocha eyes were glowing with joy in the last light of the day, but in that moment Kobra really wanted to just take Sandman’s face in his hands and kiss him. The setting sun bathed everything in a soft golden light, complimenting Sandman’s tan skin perfectly and setting his eyes ablaze. Kobra would have been content to just sit there watching the sun set over the two of them for eternity. 

“What are you looking at?” Sandman sounded concerned, his brow furrowed and his head cocked adorably to the side, making the edges of Kobra’s mouth angle up in the subtlest grin.

“You,” he replied with a soft smile. “You’re beautiful in this light.” Sandman froze, shocked, then he seemed to almost melt, his face breaking into a massive grin before he tackled the taller boy in a hug. Kobra hesitated for a minute before wrapping his arms around him, enjoying the way their bodies fit together. 

“We have to go, Dear,” Sandman said, looking up at Kobra as he blushed. “I’ll see you next week?” They broke apart, going to their respective bikes. “I’ll take what you said earlier and modify this thing so one day I can beat you!" He was shouting over the engines now, and Kobra already had his helmet on, so he gave the boy a thumbs up before revving the engine and driving away.

When he got back to the diner, the sun had been down for only a few minutes, but the temperature was already beginning to plummet, so he was glad to be home. Parking his bike neatly next to the Trans Am, he walked in, calling out,

"I'm sorry I was out for so long, there was a storm and it wrecked my radio." He found Poison sitting in a booth, poring over a piece of paper. When Kobra stood next to them to read it, they snatched it off the table and shoved it in their pocket. 

"Oh good, you're back, listen, I need your help with something." They dragged him into the kitchen and shut the door.

* * *

### Poison

"So Ghoul and I. We've been together for nearly two years right?" They were wringing their hands, twisting a napkin they had found into pieces. The last time they were this nervous they were telling Ghoul they loved him. Kobra nodded.

"Yeah, are you guys okay? Are you fighting or something?" He looked so worried, his brow was furrowed and they could see his jaw tense up. 

"What? No! I just want to do something for him. I had this idea a few weeks ago, and I know it doesn't really mean anything anymore, like legally or anything, but it used to be such a sacred thing and I know it'll probably sound dumb but just hear me out, okay?" Kobra was staring at them with wide eyes, and Poison’s stomach began to turn. 

“Okay.”

“I want to get married. I want to marry Ghoul. I’m going to ask him to marry me.” Kobra’s mouth dropped open and Poison rushed to fill the silence. “I just, I love him so much, you know? And I love the idea of it, and sure it had its issues but what doesn’t? I read somewhere that in this one culture, I forget which one, if you say ‘I marry you’ three times to each other it’s binding and I would just really love to be able to call him my husband and-”

“Poison. _Reilly_ , relax. He loves you. I think it’s adorable.” Kobra was grinning, and Poison nearly cried in relief.  They needed this, after so many years of pain. All the trauma and doubt. They deserved to be happy with him. Kobra supporting them meant the world. “How are you going to ask?” Poison got a dreamy look on their face.

“I can’t tell you, but I’m going to take him on a run and ask then.” They said, twirling a strand of their blood-red hair. "I've been planning it for weeks now, ever since I saw him crying over _The Fault in Our Stars_. I made fun of him, and he was bawling his eyes out and spent the rest of the day clinging to me and making me promise I wouldn't leave him. And of course I said I would never, and I wouldn't. I said," They laughed softly, “I said I’d die before I left him and he just cried harder, and right then I knew that I wanted to spend forever with him, the boy who cried over a book and wouldn’t let me go.” They didn’t know when or why, but tears had begun to fall, carving out elegant lines in the dust and sand that coated them all constantly. Kobra smiled and pulled them into a hug. “I love him, Kobes. I love him so fucking much it hurts. And I want to be there for him, no matter what. I want to be there. He's always been there for me, he's always been careful with me, made sure I felt safe. He fixed me Kobes, when I was completely broken up. I don't think there's anyone I’d rather spend forever with.”

“Well then what are you waiting for?” Kobra sounded so amused, and Poison laughed before pulling themself out if his embrace and clearing off his face.

“I uh… I kind of wanted to get your blessing. You’re my brother and Ghoul’s your best friend so I figured you’d be the most qualified to give it.” Kobra laughed, it was weird, he was so happy today. He must’ve won a race today, Poison decided. 

“Of course! I want you guys to be happy, and you’re both so fucking pastel for each other, I honestly don’t know why you didn’t think of it sooner.” Poison smiled so wide they thought their face was going to burst, throwing their arms around Kobra for a moment before they ran out to the main room of the diner. Ghoul was curled up in a corner under the light of a dying flashlight, reading some hardcover book that had long ago had the title worn off. Poison sat down next to him and laid their head on his shoulder, squinting to read the small letters in the dim light. Ghoul shifted and threaded one of his arms around Poison’s waist, kissing the top of their head before going back to his book.

“What are you reading, Darling?” Their eyelids were beginning to fall shut. They hadn’t realized how tired they were until they calmed down. “Will you read it to me?”

“It’s called _The Princess Bride_ , it’s one of my favorites.” Ghoul was wonderful at reading aloud. His voice had just the right tone and he always managed to convey the perfect emotion with every word. “Words followed her. Whispered from far, weak and warm and familiar. ‘As… you… wish…’ 

“Dawn in the mountains. Buttercup turned back to the source of the sound and stared down as, in first light, the man in black struggled to remove his mask. 

“‘Oh, my sweet Westley,’ Buttercup said. ‘What have I done to you now?’ 

“From the bottom of the ravine, there came only silence. 

“Buttercup hesitated not a moment. Down she went after him, keeping her feet as best she could, and as she began, she thought she heard him crying out to her over and over, but she could not make sense of his words, because inside her now there was the thunder of walls crumbling, and that was noise enough.

“Besides, her balance quickly was gone and the ravine had her. She fell fast and hard, but what did that matter, since she would have gladly dropped a thousand feet onto a bed of nails if Westley had been waiting at the bottom.

“Down, down.

“Tossed and spinning, crashing, torn, out of all control, she rolled and twisted and plunged, cartwheeling toward what was left of her beloved….” Ghoul paused for a moment before turning the page and whispered a soft “I love you” into Poison’s hair before continuing, but they barely heard a word he said as they drifted off into the realm of dreams.

Poison awoke the next morning, still in Ghoul’s arms, the book still in his hands, their head still on his shoulder. There was a blanket tossed over the two of them, so Kobra must have come by after they both fell asleep and put it on them. Ghoul’s head was on top of Poison’s and they could hear his breathing softly. They sat there for a moment, just listening to the love of their life, until it started to speed up and Ghoul started to move.

A soft whimper escaped his lips and he began to shake. 

“No… no… you… you can’t… you can’t do that… “ Ghoul was crying now, his hot tears soaking Poison’s hair as they tried to escape his grip. 

“Hey, Ghoulie, Darling, you have to wake up. It’s just a dream.” They grabbed his face and stared at his pain twisted features, wiping away the tears that had begun to escape his eyes. “Come on, it’s just a dream, you’re dreaming. Just wake up, it’ll all go away.” Ghoul’s face began to relax, and his eyes slowly opened. As he took in Poison’s worried face and where he had fallen asleep, Poison busied themself with fixing his mussed hair and wiping away the last of his tears. After a few seconds, he threw his arms around Poison’s neck and began to cry. They wrapped one arm over his shoulders and held his head protectively with the other, running their fingers through his hair. "It's going to be alright, my Darling, you're going to be okay." Ghoul's sobs had quieted down, and Poison leaned back, stroking his face and kissing the tip of his nose. "Do you want to tell me about it?" Ghoul nodded. "You don't have to if you don't want to." 

"No, no, I need to." He shook his head. "I have to talk about it." He stood up, hands shaking, and stepped toward the door. "I need to go outside. I need air. Come with me. Please. I- I need you to." Poison nodded, giving Ghoul one last hug before they walked into the sun together. It was already nearly noon, and the harsh sunlight made the sand look like glass. Finding a shady spot next to the diner's walls, Ghoul sat down, and Poison followed suit.

"I wasn't born in the desert," he began, "I lived in Bat City for the first thirteen years of my life, until one day I lost the pills. I didn't tell anyone I lost them because I was afraid they'd do to me what they did to my dad—he would play games with me, then one day they took him. The next day he was back but he wasn't the same. I guess they put him on more drugs or did that brainwashing shit, or both." He was shaking again, so Poison cradled his face in their hands and ran their thumbs over his cheeks. "So I didn't tell anyone, and as the withdrawal set in, I saw through what they were shoving down our throats. I started to _feel_. And it hurt. Destroya, it hurt so fucking much, but I knew it was better than being a mindless drone, so I never took them again. 

"One day, I decided to leave. I spent weeks trying to find these rebels I kept hearing about, and I made them take me and my parents out of the city. We stayed together in the Underground, but after a few days, they just disappeared. My parents were gone. And I spent a few days searching for them until one day I heard two of them talking about me. This one pink haired bastard said my parents had been dealt with." His voice cracked, along with Poison's heart. They pulled Ghoul into a hug and he started crying again. “They killed them, Pois, I was just a kid and they fucking _killed my parents.”_

"Hey, you’re going to be okay. You can stop anytime you want, okay? You can finish later when you're feeling better." Ghoul nodded, and they just sat there, Poison running their fingers through Ghoul’s hair as his sobs quieted. “Do you want to go for a drive, take your mind off it and shoot some stuff?”

“Yeah,” he sniffed, wiping the tears from his eyes. “They died a long time ago. I’m okay, that dream just brought everything back, you know?” He stood up, shaking the sand from his clothes, and held onto Poison’s hand like they were his lifeline as the two walked to the car. 

They drove for hours, neither really caring where to, until they decided that it would be best not to waste anymore gas and pulled over a few yards off of Route Guano. 

Sitting on the hood of the Trans Am, Ghoul was throwing an old can of Powerpup and was trying to hit it before it could hit the ground. _Trying_ being the operative word. Poison was pacing, fumbling the two strands of blue beads they kept in their jacket pocket. They could do it now. They could ask him. They were both in a better mood now, Ghoul was almost happy again. They should do it. But they promised Kobra they would tell him. But it was the perfect time. The two of them were alone, the desert was calm, and-

“What are you thinking, prettyboy?” Ghoul’s words pulled Poison out of their reverie, their head snapping up. “You’re pacing. You only do that when you’re worried. C’mere, tell me what’s wrong.” Ghoul shifted, his back resting against the windshield and Poison sat down between his legs, crossing their own.

“I uh… wanted to ask you something.” Ghoul raised an eyebrow. “It’s not bad, I promise. I’m going to ask you a question. And once you hear it you might think it’s dumb, cause it doesn’t really mean anything anymore unless you want it to, but hear me out. We’ve been together for almost two years now, and in all honesty, it’s been the best two years of my life. You make me so happy, anytime something happens you’re always there for me, and I do the same for you. I’d die for you in a heartbeat, and I don’t deserve you, but somehow you fell in love with me, and everyday I wake up expecting all of this to be a dream, but you’re still here. You’re still here, and I love you more than I love myself. You've gotten me through more than I’d like to admit, with all my trauma and memories and you've made every single thing better. I've never once doubted you were the person I wanted to be with forever, especially after you saved me, more times than I can count.” Ghoul was smiling so widely Poison thought he might burst. They pulled the beads out of their pocket and set them down on the steel in front of Ghoul, then took his hands. “So, Fun Ghoul, my Darling, love of my life, wi-”

“HEY!” Poison nearly screamed. _So close._ They had been _so. Fucking. Close._ And then this asshole had to come and spoil the moment. “IS THERE ANYONE OVER THERE? I’VE BEEN SHOT!” The two killjoys glanced at each other before climbing up to the roof to see if whoever it was had actually been shot. Poison got a glimpse of hot pink before their eyes were drawn to the trail of dark red behind the person. Blood red. Both of them slid off the car and ran to the stranger, but they both stopped in their tracks when they saw his face.

“Sandman?” Poison asked, just as Ghoul yelled;

“You!” Poison turned to look at their boyfriend, and saw every trace of happiness drained from his eyes as he took in Sandman’s bleeding form. “You! You killed my fucking parents! I- I _saw_ you! In the Underground! I was just a fucking kid, how- how- how could you just kill them?” He stumbled back, nearly falling into the sand.

“You what?” Poison turned back to Sandman. “Is it true?” their voice was low, controlled, angry. “You know, what it doesn’t really matter right now. We’ll take you to the diner, get you cleaned up, then you leave and don’t ever fucking show up around here again.”

“Poison! Of course it fucking matters! He killed my fucking parents! Or one of his guys, They’re dead because of him! We can’t help him.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry Darling,” 

“Don’t fucking call me that.” Ghoul’s words were cold, laced with grief and venom. Each syllable was a knife driven into Poison’s heart.

“Fine, but we can’t let him die.”

“Why the fuck not?” He sounded more hurt now, and Poison wished they could take back every word, wished they could rewind time to just before Sandman showed up and refuse to help him. 

“If he dies, the whole Underground dissolves into chaos. We lose all of our contacts in the city, all of our supplies will run out and we won’t be able to get more. The revolution would crumble.” They were almost pleading now, pouring desperation into their voice, they needed Ghoul to see, to understand. Who knew what they’d do if they lost him over this? “We save his life, keep the revolution going, and if you’re right, I swear to Destroya you can beat the shit out of him, or whatever the fuck you want to do, but he has to live. You won’t even have to see him if you don’t want to, I’ll have Jet keep him in the back room, but a human life is at stake here, and if we don’t try to save him, we’re no better than those monsters in Battery.”

“Fine. Do whatever you fucking want, but I get to drive. I’m not sitting in the backseat with him to make sure he doesn’t die. You can go cuddle with the killer, I can’t fucking look at you right now.” He walked off toward the Trans Am, and Poison just barely remembered to grab the beads before helping Sandman in the backseat, they were fighting tears as they faced the window. What had they done? Ghoul didn’t even turn on the radio, and the ride back to the diner was sat in cold, stony silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, another chapter written and uploaded!  
> Again, a huge thanks to Ash for being fucking amazing and helping me with this, I honestly don't know what I would do without them!  
> So. Drama. It's going to get worse. Just a warning. Good luck.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is going to hurt and I'm sorry but the next chapter is nearly half done so faster update this time  
> Big thanks to Ash for being wonderful  
> Listen to The Way It Was by the Killers it's great and also unintentionally very closely related to the plot of this chapter

Part 3

### Kobra

The sound of the Trans Am’s doors slamming shut brought Kobra to the front of the diner. Ghoul walked in, his face full of anger and grief, followed closely by Poison, who looked somewhat like a wounded puppy and was half carrying… Sandman?

“What the _fuck_ is going on? What happened? Why the fuck is Sandman here and—oh shit is that blood?” Kobra felt himself starting to panic, unsure of what was going on. What was happening, why was Sandman covered in blood? Why did Poison look so damn sad? Why was Ghoul looking at Poison like he was about to rip their head off? 

Ghoul sighed, not even beginning to explain as he pushed past Poison and Kobra. He wiped his face viciously before he left the area and for a brief second, Kobra saw the horrified desperation on his face. But that seemed at least somewhat gone by the time Poison had opened his mouth to explain. “We ran into him out in the desert. He got shot, we gotta fix him up.”

“Okay, but that still doesn’t explain why Ghoul seems so angry, or why you look so goddamn sad.” As they talked, the siblings began pulling out the medkits, and Ghoul must have found Jet, because he came in a few moments later, his huge mass of hair tied up so it was out of the way. 

“Poison, I think you should go talk to Ghoul, we can take it from here.” Jet said, slowly peeling off Sandman’s blood-soaked jacket. That must have struck a nerve, because Poison backed away, shaking their head.

“No no no no no no no, I- I can’t do that, I could fuck this up even more, I- I could fucking lose him, I’ve probably already lost him… He said he didn’t want to see me, I can’t go _talk_ to him, are you insane?” Their eyes were wide and brimming with tears. “I can’t lose him. I think it would kill me.” Their voice got quieter with each word, until Kobra could just barely hear them over Sandman’s pained whimpers. Someone grabbed his hand, and Kobra looked down to see Sandman’s bloodstained fingers threaded between his own. Sandman was squeezing so tight it hurt, and Kobra made no attempt to remove it. Poison gasped. “You motherfucker, you killed Ghoul’s parents, you stay the _fuck_ away from him. You stay the fuck away from my brother.”

“You.. What?” Sandman opened his mouth to speak, but Poison ripped Kobra away from him and dragged him into the kitchen, where they promptly started to cry.

“He had a nightmare—Ghoul did—so I let him tell me about it, then we went for a drive to calm him down. We were both just kinda sitting off to the side of Guano when I figured, ‘what the hell,’ and started to propose, but then Sandman showed up and it all, sorta, fell apart.” They took a breath, trying to compose themself before they continued. “Ghoul recognized Sandman as one of the Juvies who killed his parents.”

“Oh, shit.” Poison nodded, rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. “But, what happened between you two?” They froze, hands halfway closed around a mug adorned with a logo that had long ago been rendered illegible. The little composure they had gained came crashing down, along with the mug. Ceramic shards scattered across the floor, and a loud crash echoed through the diner. The door opened, and Ghoul stood in the doorway. He didn’t say a word as he took in the shattered mug, Kobra’s shocked face, and the look of utter pain and defeat on Poison’s. Kobra had never seen them so broken, not even after their first clap, which they spent hours calming down from, so horrified that they had _killed_ people that they didn’t eat for days. The two lovers stared at each other, neither said a word and neither moved. The tension in the room was so thick Kobra could taste it, and he was half tempted to grab everything sharp, leave the room, and lock them in there together until they sorted this out. 

“Ghoul,” Poison was the first to break the silence. “Ghoul, darling, I-” the boy in question held up a hand.

“No. Don’t. Just… don’t. I don’t want to hear anything from _you.”_ He nearly spat out the last word, a hot knife cutting through sheer ice. Kobra watched as Poison’s face, which had held just a glimmer of hope, fragile as glass but there nonetheless, shattered. “You _knew_ . We fucking talked about it this _morning_ . You watched me _break_. I thought I could trust you to help put me back together, but I guess I was wrong.” He stormed out of the room, leaving the pieces of the mug and Poison’s heart on the floor without a second thought.

As soon as Ghoul left the room, Poison shattered. Their legs seemed to give out under them, and they slid down the cabinets, burying their face in their knees. After a moment, Kobra could hear their quiet sobs, each heaving breath hitting him in the chest like a train. Dropping to his knees, Kobra wrapped his arms around them, offering the little comfort he could. They latched onto him, fingers digging into his jacket as they hid their face in his neck.

"He hates me."They pulled back, shaking. He looked down at their hands, and took hold of their left one gently. They must’ve cut it when they dropped the mug, as blood flowed freely from their palm.

“Are you going to get something for that?” They stared at the cut numbly, barely able to muster the energy to look away.

“What’s the point?” their voice was barely a whisper, and Kobra’s chest collapsed. If their fight with Ghoul was overcoming their hatred of blood… “He hates me.”

"He doesn't hate you, he could never hate you. He’s just… upset.” 

“You really think so? You think he could love me again?” They sounded so broken, their voice was completely shot, just barely more than a hoarse whisper. 

“I don't think he ever stopped, you have to talk to him, okay?” They brushed hair out of their face with shaking hands as determination settled on their tear-stained face. “You’re perfect for each other, I’ve never seen two people more pastel for each other than you guys. He’ll come around, just give him time.” Poison nodded, and Kobra smiled, “And if he doesn’t, I’ll beat the shit out of him for hurting you.” Poison actually smiled at that. It was weak and watery, but it was progress. Sensing that Poison could hold themselves together, Kobra pulled away. He could tell them about Sandman, about how he met him at the races and got stuck together, how he was developing feelings for the pink-haired boy, how he had only known him for a few hours, but inexplicably trusted him enough to actually _share_ the fact that he liked him. One glance at Poison’s exhausted eyes however, and he couldn’t bring himself to say it. So instead, he pulled them off of the floor. “Drink some water, get some rest, I’ll go talk to him first if you want.”

“Just don't… don’t hurt him.” They sounded so small, “Don’t give him another reason to be angry. I don’t know if I can cope with much more. Don’t hurt him. He doesn’t deserve it. I’m the one who fucked this whole thing up. I said the wrong thing. This is my fault.” Kobra hated when they got in moods like this. They became self-destructive and irrational. They wouldn’t listen to anyone who told them it wasn’t their fault or that yes, their life was worth living. They would stop eating, and start drawing furiously on anything they could find, images of creatures with long, spindly fingers reaching out, always just unable to reach their goal. 

“I won’t hurt him, I promise. And it wasn’t your fault. You had no idea what was going to happen. Of course you wanted to help him, you always want to help. You’d think Ghoul would know that. There was no way you could have predicted how Ghoul would react, you were only trying to do what you thought was best.” Kobra laid a hand on their shoulder and gave them a comforting squeeze before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

Jet immediately pulled him to the side almost immediately.

“He’s not as bad as he could be, whoever shot him managed to miss everything important, but he’s lost a lot of blood, so he needs to rest for a few days and drink a lot of water. I need to go wash up, just watch him for a minute.” Kobra nodded and sat down in a stool near Sandman’s head, studying his face. Despite being a Juvie and literally living underground, he was surprisingly pale, though Kobra supposed he couldn’t pass judgement, since Poison and Ghoul were so pale they could pass for vampires. He appeared to be sleeping, the relaxed contentment on his face making him look younger, more vulnerable. He really was attractive, Kobra thought as he glanced around, making sure none of the others would come through the doors before grabbing Sandman's hand.

"What did you do now, you idiot? If you're going to almost get yourself killed every time we’re apart for a few hours I’m going to have to tie you to my side just to keep you alive!” Just as he finished speaking, Sandman’s eyes blinked open.

“Well, I wouldn’t complain, I’d get to spend all my days looking at your pretty face, dear.” he was smiling up at Kobra, and tightened his grip on the other boy’s hand. “Though I think it would get a bit awkward when one of us will eventually have to piss.” Kobra snorted.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“Yeah, but you like me anyway.”

“And why do I like you again?” he smiled, fiddling with their interlocked fingers, “There’s absolutely _nothing_ attractive about you, I mean, it’s not like you’re funny or clever or anything, and your eyes are absolutely _not_ the most fascinating thing I’ve seen since color.” Sandman sat up with a wince, and Kobra tried to get him to lay back down, but he shook his head.

“I’ll be fine, I was getting sick of lying down anyway.” Feeling short and not enjoying it, Kobra got up onto the counter and sat next to him, like they had the day before. How had it only been a day? Sandman put his head on Kobra’s shoulder, and an arm around his waist, and Kobra mimicked his actions. He was happy sitting there, though there was something he wanted to get off his chest.

“Remember last night when the sun was setting and you asked what I was looking at and I said you?” he shifted, turning his body so he could face Sandman, tucking one leg under the other. 

“Yeah? Are you okay?” Sandman turned as well, taking Kobra’s hands in his.

“Yeah, I’m fine, fuckin’ shiny, I just uhh… I just wanted to say that I really wanted to kiss you then, and I wish I had.” Whatever Sandman had been expecting, it wasn’t that. His eyes widened, and his grip on Kobra’s hands wavered for a moment before he gripped them tighter.

“We could do it now, if you want.” He sounded so hopeful, so trusting. “Better late than never, amirite?”

“I- I don’t know. Things have changed. I still want to, that’s not an issue, but I don’t know how Poison would react. You saw them when you grabbed my hand, they might get a fucking aneurysm if I kissed you.” His face fell, “I really am sorry, but this situation is so delicate and complicated right now,”

“I don’t think you should worry so much about what they think. You’re your own person, you can make your own fucking decisions on who you get to kiss,” he pouted, releasing one of Kobra’s hands to caress his face.

“Normally, I wouldn’t, but their sanity is hanging by a thread. They’re fighting with Ghoul and it’s really taken a toll on them. He’s the love of their life and now they’re thinking they lost him. I can’t do this to them now.” Kobra leaned into the other’s touch, letting his tired eyes slide shut for a moment.

“It’s okay, I understand. But my offer still stands. Whenever you’re ready, my dear.” Sandman’s voice was soft and comforting, and though his eyes were closed, he could hear the smaller boy shifting, then felt his warmth as he pressed their foreheads together.

“Thanks, love.'' The name just slipped out, it felt so natural on Kobra’s tongue he half thought Sandman wouldn’ t notice. But it was just Kobra’s luck, he noticed.

“Wai- wait what?” Sandman sputtered, sitting up. Kobra opened his eyes and grinned.

“It just slipped out, I swear, and I think it fits you. Plus it evens the balance of power caused by you calling me ‘dear’ all the time,” he laughed, tapping the tip of Sandman’s nose, _“love.”_ Sandman turned a shade of red brighter than Poison’s hair, and Kobra laughed again, but quieter this time, more aware of how quiet it had been. “Oh, I promised Poison I’d talk to Ghoul for them so he’ll stop ignoring them.” He got down from the counter and started walking toward the back door.

“Awww, do you have to?” Sandman didn’t leave the counter, but he did cling to Kobra’s hand, trying to pull them back together. “I’ll get lonely!”

“You’ll be fine, I’ll be right in the next room if you need me, okay? Go sleep in my room, you’ll be much more comfortable there, it’s the second door on the right.” Sandman nodded, letting go of his hand at last. Pushing open the doors to the back of the diner, he made his way to Ghoul and Poison’s room.

Ghoul was sat on the floor, crying. Scattered around him were little bits of what looked like paper, all torn into small pieces and tossed to the ground carelessly. Ghoul was desperately grabbing onto as many pieces as he could reach, and as Kobra bent down to help him, he recognized a few of them. They were drawings. _Poison’s_ drawings. The ones they had drawn for their anniversaries and Ghoul’s birthdays and a thousand other little moments that meant the world to the two of them. All scattered around the room like ashes in the wind, remnants of something beautiful now gone. This was going to absolutely destroy Poison. As if they weren’t already broken enough over this. For a moment Kobra stood silent in shock, the only sounds in the room that of Ghoul’s heaving breaths and the shuffling of paper.

“What have you done?” Kobra finally found his voice, and it was angry. “What have you done, Ghoul?” Ghoul looked up at him with eyes full of pain and let out a sob.

“Have they hurt themself?” His voice was hollow, broken.

“Not exactly…”

‘What happened? Are they alright?” Any emotion in his face was replaced with worry, then it slowly turned to guilt. “I did this. Fuck, this is all my fault. What happened?”

“They dropped that mug and it sliced their palm open. It wasn’t on purpose but they didn’t do anything to fix it. I’m worried it will escalate into something more. But you… what did you do?”

“I don’t- I don’t know. I was so angry. So _fucking_ angry. At Poison, at Sandman, at the world for putting us through this. They were going to propose. _Fucking_ propose, Kobra. I could tell. They had this whole speech and they were just about to ask when that motherfucker barged in. And I was going to say yes. How could I not? I was going to say yes and I’d say yes again. I’d say it a thousand times if they asked.” The pieces of paper in his hands fell to the ground. “But then Sandman showed up, covered in blood and asking for help. And I fucking recognized him. And I got mad, and honestly, I’m still kinda mad, but I said some things I wish I could’ve taken back the moment they left my mouth, just so I wouldn’t have to see that wounded look on their face. I should’ve tried to talk to them. I should’ve let Sandman explain himself. I should’ve tried to be rational but instead I blew up and hurt the one person who’s loved me more than anyone. And when we got back, I was so fucking mad. I tore up a drawing. And then another one. And then I heard the mug break and you were in here and they were in there and I wanted to apologize, and I don’t know why I didn’t. I was still so mad, I guess. When I left I came back here and ripped up more, more angry at myself then than everyone else. They were just trying to help. Because that’s who they are. They try to help. They’ll help anyone, and that’s what I love about them. They could’ve just left me to die when we first met, but they carried me inside and helped. And I owe them my life, not just for that. They’ve saved me so many times and in so many ways I’ve lost count.And I know they need me. I’m so scared that because of me they’ll do something to themself… I can’t handle the thought of losing them over something like this.

“So I ripped up the drawings. Because I was mad at them for being them. Because I was mad at myself for being mad at them. Because I was mad at Sandman for something I now realize he probably didn’t have much control over. I wanted to hurt Poison, I really did. I knew how much these drawings meant to them and I destroyed them. Just so they could feel betrayed as I did. And when I came back to myself, I realized what I’d done, and _Destroya_ , they’re going to hate me now. I- I ruined everything, didn’t I? I got so hung up on a _maybe_ that I forgot about them. I forgot about Poison. How could I do that, Kobra? How could I do that to them? I love them more than I love myself, and I forgot that I have power over them. They trusted me to never hurt them, to never become like the people that have hurt them. I’ve betrayed that trust. And I miss them. It’s only been a little while, but I miss hugging them and holding their hand and kissing them and seeing the way they look at me, like I’m the only thing in the world that matters. I just want to see them smile again." Ghoul picked up the paper again, and finding a few that fit together, laid them carefully out on the floor. "What do I have to do to see them smile again?" He looked up at Kobra imploringly. Kobra couldn't handle this. The whole situation was just a giant clusterfuck of pain and betrayal, and somehow he had gotten thrown right in the middle of it. And try as he might, he couldn't stay mad at anyone involved for more than a few minutes. 

"Listen, both of you are idiots, this fight is not doing anyone any good. They're so broken up about this I actually came in here to yell at you to go fuckin' talk to them just so you can work some of this out. But honestly, I think that's what you need to do. Please, just talk to them. They just want to talk to you. I don't know how they'll feel about all this… It’s gonna hurt them. Like, a lot. As you said, those drawings meant so much.” Ghoul nodded, his face falling ever so slightly.

“They’re going to hate me.” Kobra opened his mouth to say they could never, but Ghoul held up a hand. “Don’t say they won’t. I know them, they loved those drawings. They’ll definitely hate me. But I guess I should be the one to tell them. They deserve to hear it from me, at least.” He finished sorting out the pieces of paper, a few parts of each drawing painstakingly put back together. “If we had some tape this might make it better, then I could at least actually put them back together. Or if we had some resin, I could use that as well.” He stood up and ran a hand through his hair. “Here goes nothing.”

### Poison

They were sitting in a booth near the windows, watching the sun go down. It had been a long day. A door opened somewhere behind them, and footsteps stopped right beside their table. Tearing their eyes away from the magnificent colors of the burning sky, they looked at the person next to them, and froze. Ghoul was sitting across from them, a thousand emotions on his face. 

"Have you come to yell at me some more? Because I honestly don't know if I could handle it again." The bitterness in their voice surprised them, and they were about to apologize before Ghoul started talking. 

"I came to apologize. I was upset and angry and I took that out on you and you didn't deserve any of it. You were just trying to help. I was just so mad at the world for doing this to me that I stopped thinking about you and how it would affect you, and I'm sorry. Destroya, I'm _so_ sorry. All day I've just been kicking myself for acting the way I did, and every time I've opened my stupid fucking mouth today I've regretted it. I should've apologized hours ago, but I was so angry, and I'm sorry for putting you through that. You hurt yourself because of me, and I’ll never be able to live with myself for that" Poison smiled softly and took Ghoul's hands.

"It wasn't entirely your fault, I didn't think about how it would affect you to have him here," they said gently. A warm feeling was beginning to bloom in their chest, they had him _back_. They weren't alone. They weren’t unloveable. Ghoul smiled gingerly. 

"Maybe not, but I- I fucked up. I got so angry at you and the world and Sandman, and then at myself for being angry and I-” his voice broke, and Poison got up out of their seat and moved to the other side of the table, pulling him onto their lap.

“Whatever it is that you did, it’s okay. I still love you. I always will, do you hear me? We’re going to be okay.” They wrapped their arms around Ghoul’s waist and he pulled himself closer, burying his face in their neck.

“No, you don’t understand, I-” he tightened his grip on Poison, as if afraid he would try to leave. “I’ll just have to show you, it’s bad.” Ghoul pulled himself out of their grasp and slid out of the booth before taking their hands. “Before you see it, please, just know that I love you. I was so upset and bitter and that doesn't excuse it in any way, but I love you and I’m sorry.” He took them to their room, where the door was closed as if it hid terrible secrets. Ghoul stepped back, letting Poison open the door.

Ghoul took one final deep breath, turning to face Poison with his face plagued with guilt. “I'm not sure if you’ll ever want to do this again so…” Ghoul leaned in to press a soft kiss to Poison’s lips. “While I still can,” he explained. Poison was a little nervous now, letting out an anxious chuckle as they squeezed Ghoul’s hand. What and he done? What could he possibly do that was so bad, he didn't think Poison wouldn’t love him anymore after the fact came out?

They stood in the doorway for a moment, confused as they took in the room. They looked at the bare walls. At the floor. At the piles of paper. They walked in slowly, as if in a trance, until they reached the first pile. A corner of the paper seemed to be put together from scraps, just enough assembled to reveal a sketch. It was hard to tell in the light, but Poison could see the neck of a guitar and a heavily tattooed hand. _Ghoul’s_ guitar, _his_ hand. _Their_ drawing. They had drawn it for his birthday a few years ago, spent hours watching him play, studying his fingers and the way he hunched over its white body, the care with which he played each chord, the way the music seemed to take on a life of its own when he practiced for long enough. It had taken three days to finish. Three days of careful sketching and erasing and shading and cursing the sun for going down. Three days of painstakingly adding each of Ghoul’s tattoos, from the letters on his fingers to the scorpion on his neck. Three days of work. Gone. 

But what was this if not Poison’s worst fear coming true? Ghoul, the boy they had given their everything too, loved and cherished more than anything in the world, had taken something special and destroyed it. If the earlier fight wasn’t enough proof, than this was it. Poison never deserved what they had with Ghoul. They never did and they never would. Poison didn’t deserve any love at all.

“What have you done?” their voice was barely above a whisper as they looked back at Ghoul. They looked over at the other piles, tears beginning to form in their eyes. They recognized each of the drawings, so many meaningful moments they had put on paper and given to their boyfriend. Now all of it was in piles of paper, torn up paper. Anger seemed to take them over and this time when they spoke, they weren’t soft and quiet anymore. “What the fuck have you done?” Their voice was full of rage they didn’t even know they were capable of.

“I- I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what I was doing. I’ve spent hours finding all of the pieces and trying to put them together I-” tears were spilling from his eyes, and he took a step toward Poison, who stepped back.

“How could you _do this?”_ tears were rolling down their face as well, red hot and angry. Ghoul moved to comfort them. “Stay away from me,” they snarled, and he backed off, looking like a kicked puppy. “Get out.”

“Poison, I-”

“GET OUT! I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU! I HATE YOU, GET OUT!” 

Poison had never yelled so loud in their entire life. Ghoul left with shaking shoulders, and Poison leaned against a wall for a moment before giving up and sliding down to the floor. 

Some few odd hours later, when the sun was beginning to show its face again, Kobra came in, holding a roll of tape. Just as they were about to grab it, though, Kobra pulled it back.

“He went out as soon as he stopped crying, saying he needed to try and fix this. He just got back. He handed me this, told me to give it to you, and has been sitting in that corner you two slept in since.” Kobra’s voice was hard, and he held out the tape again. “I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be, but fighting and yelling at each other isn’t helping anyone. You know how Jet plays the guitar when he’s nervous?” Poison nodded, not willing to open their mouth out of fear of what would come out. “He hasn’t stopped playing for more than half an hour since he finished with Sandman. And I’m walking on eggshells around both of you. It’s exhausting. You guys need to sort this out. We start planning for the run in five days. Figure it out or I’ll leave you here.” 

“Tell him I said thanks,” they said, taking the tape and shutting the door. Digging around in some cupboards, he found an old CD player and some albums. They couldn’t tell you the name of the album they were playing, it had rubbed off a long time ago. But as it played, they recognized the songs that they had grown to know all the words to overtime. They started slowly putting scraps of paper back together, fixing those he could, those that weren’t torn into pieces too small to recover.

They were around three or four songs into the album when they dropped the tape and the scraps they had taken. The song… it was familiar. Suddenly, it hit them. They had listened to it with Ghoul all the time, while cuddling or dancing or just while sitting together. They gulped, biting their lip as the lyrics rang out into the room.

 _‘Cuz I cannot speak; I lost my voice; I’m speechless and redundant cuz I love you’s not enough; I’m lost for words_ … 

They knew every word by heart. When Ghoul and them got together, they’d heard this song and spent hours learning the words so they could sing it to him, and eventually he learned it and they would sing it to each other, often in the dead of night when neither could sleep. At this point, it belonged more to the two of them than it did to the band that wrote it. They started absently humming along, not noticing the tears slipping down their face until one landed on the drawing they were reconstructing. 

The door opened, and Ghoul entered with a can of beans and some water. 

“I know you hate me and everything, but you need to eat. You haven't eaten since yesterday morning, it’s not healthy.” He set the can down, then went to leave, but decided against it and sat down in a corner. 

“If you’re going to stay you may as well help.” Their voice was flat, no trace of emotion as they started piecing together their fourth drawing, a small sketch of the two of them sitting on the roof of the Trans Am, holding hands and laughing. Moments like that, once so sweet and regular, now seemed just so out of reach. Ghoul sat down across from them and started sorting the pieces out like puzzle pieces. Since a lot of the outer edges were blank, they assembled the center first, and Poison noticed with no small amount of pained amusement that the page was ripped right between the two, separating them perfectly. 

With both Ghoul and Poison working together, they made quick work of the next few drawings, until they ran out of tape. 

“I’ll go get more,” Ghoul offered, standing up quickly.

“No, I’ll do it. I need to get out and you need to make up for this whole mess in the first place.” Ghoul sighed and sat down, much to Poison’s surprise. They had expected a bigger fight than that, though they supposed he was exhausted. They quickly ate the last of the beans before leaving, making sure to grab spare batteries for their radio and ray gun, as well as some extra carbons in case of an emergency.

The sun was nearly at its apex, and Poison marveled at how long they had stayed in that room, sorting through their emotions and the drawings. Though the silence had grown insufferable, they could feel themselves missing the sense of closeness they shared with Ghoul at that moment. Poison was driving to the nearest marketplace, and though they didn’t know exactly where it was, they were pretty easy to spot once you’d been once or twice. Hundreds of sets of tire tracks led to and away from the cluster of booths selling everything from socks to drugs. They found someone who had two rolls of tape, and bought both to be safe. They were heading back to the Trans Am when a voice called out to them.

“Hey! Asshole!” They turned around, only to be met with a fist flying squarely for their face. 

Fighting dizziness from the punch and sleep deprivation, they got up and swung at the person who had punched them, feeling their fist make a solid connection with something, probably a nose. The attacker groaned and stepped back, but Poison’s victory was short-lived as something hit them from behind and knocked the wind out of their lungs. They fell to the ground, and when something else connected with their face again, they felt the dark take them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this update is a bit shorter than the other ones, but more is on the way, whenever the fuck I finish it  
> I really said nah to update schedules didn't I?  
> anyway huge thanks to Ash for once again being amazing  
> enjoy

Ghoul

Poison had been gone eight hours. They were only supposed to be gone two, at a maximum. Ghoul was trying to play it off like he didn’t care, but he was sick to his stomach, pacing the room he shared with Poison. The album they had been playing earlier must’ve been looped, because in that moment, a familiar riff filled the air, and Ghoul found himself singing along in an effort to distract himself.

“ _ So make the best of this test and don’t ask why; It’s not a question but a lesson learned in time; There’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right; I hope you have the time of your life.” _ The lyrics were comforting, and Ghoul grabbed his guitar, affectionately named Pansy, and plucked out the basics of the song. He had never really tried to learn it, but he could tell what key it was in, so he settled for strumming quarter notes. 

As the song ended, the sound of an engine pulling up to the front of the diner could be heard, and Ghoul nearly dropped Pansy in an effort to get to the door as fast as he could. 

Poison stumbled through the door, their face a thousand different shades of purple, holding tape in one hand and their stomach in the other. Ghoul rushed to their side, managing to catch them just before they started to fall. He walked them over to what used to be a booth that now resembled a bench. Once he was sure they would  _ stay _ on the bench, he went into the kitchen to get some water. When he got back, Poison was laying down in the booth, eyes staring into nothingness as Ghoul gently cleaned the sand out of the cuts in their face. 

“You promised,” he whispered, breaking the tentative silence between them as he pulled their hair out of their face.

“I, what?” They sat up and finally focussed their eyes, and the golden flecks in their irises glowed as they caught the light of some candles Ghoul had found. It took Ghoul’s breath away. Even when they had been beaten to a pulp and were half conscious they were gorgeous. 

“That day, when I was crying over the book. You promised you would never leave me. You fucking promised.” His voice was shaking again, but Poison could go to hell if they thought Ghoul wasn’t going to try to apologize after he thought he had lost them. “Did you mean it?” Poison was starting to tear up now, though that may have just been the alcohol Ghoul was using to clean his cuts. 

“Every word. I meant every. Single. Fucking. Word. That was the day I decided I was going to- to propose. And I was thinking about this while I drove back, but I was so close to not coming back. And I realized you mean more to me than some stupid drawings. They’re just lines on paper. They’re not worth losing you over. I want this to end. These past two days have been hell on everyone. I miss you. I don’t ever want to fight like this again. So can we go back? To the way we were before?” They were actually crying now, the kind where tears rolled down your face whether you liked it or not, and Ghoul wiped them away with the cleaner of his hands. “Only- only if you want to, of course, I don’t want to force you into anything you’re not tota-” Ghoul pressed his lips to Poison’s, careful to avoid the more sensitive of their bruises.

“You’re such an idiot,” he mumbled into their mouth, “Of course I want us back to the way it was, I love you, and I won’t leave you, I promise.” Poison wrapped their arms around him, and Ghoul just completely melted, threading his arms around their neck. They pulled him into their lap, pressing a kiss to his temple. "I missed you so much," he nearly sobbed into their hair. He dug his face into their neck, kissing it softly. 

"I missed you too. I was going crazy not being able to hold you." Poison ran their hand through Ghoul’s hair, occasionally stopping just to kiss the top of his head. "This whole time, you’ve been so fucking sad, and I’ve just wanted to wrap you in blankets and tell you it’s all going to be okay.” Ghoul brought their lips together again, savoring the smell and taste of them with every heartbeat. Poison broke the kiss with a yawn, and Ghoul pulled the two of them up.

“Okay, Prettyboy, let’s go to bed. You haven’t slept in way too long, you need to rest.” Poison groaned, dropping their head onto Ghoul’s shoulder and hugging his waist, who sighed, pet their hair, and started walking toward their room. “I just have to move Pansy and then you can sleep, m’kay?” He was just about to open the door when he heard a cough from further down the hall. Kobra was sticking his head out of his room, gesturing between Ghoul and the quickly fading Poison with a question on his face. Ghoul held a finger up to his lips and gave a thumbs up, mouthing “ _ we’re good!” _ Kobra grinned, returning the hand signal before retreating back into his room. Ghoul glanced down at the person nearly asleep on his shoulder, gave them a soft smile even though they couldn’t see it, and went to work getting the mattress ready for them to sleep. Though he was still walking quite a bit, Poison still followed him around, unwilling to let go.

“Hey,” he whispered, “I love you, but you’ve gotta let go so we can lie down, okay?” Poison slowly let go, then collapsed on the bed. Ghoul pulled off their boots and his own, then laid down next to them. Poison pulled him in, burying their face in his hair and tangling their feet together. 

“I love you." Ghoul didn’t realize how tired he was until he had laid down, but those were the last words he heard before falling asleep.

Ghoul woke up slowly, the warmth of Poison's body against his. So it wasn’t a dream. Ghoul grinned as he felt Poison’s arms squeeze him tighter, their face pressed into his neck. He closed his eyes again and sighed, he was in heaven. He and Poison were okay and they'd probably spend days attached at the hip. Not that Ghoul was complaining though.

He found a strand of Poison's hair and started playing with it, weaving it through his fingers and twirling it around as he waited for them to wake up. Rolling over, Ghoul pressed a kiss to their nose and began to trace swirling designs on their skin. After a moment, Poison’s tired eyes opened and they looked up at him with a small smile.

“Hello there, Darling,” they whispered lazily, lifting their head up just a fraction to press their lips to Ghoul’s.

“Oh, thank _ fuck,  _ I was worried I was dreaming.” Ghoul smiled, and Poison kissed him again.

“Oh, sugar, dreams have got nothing on me.” They reached up and brushed away some of the hair that had fallen in Ghoul’s face, twirling it around their fingers. “You’re lovely.” Ghoul blushed furiously and they grinned, laughing and pressing Ghoul’s head to their chest softly. “What? You are! You’re fucking gorgeous! Everytime I see you you’re just so fucking beautiful, even when you’re covered in grime and dirt, you’re beautiful.”

“What’s brought all this on?” 

“I missed you. I couldn’t tell you how amazing you are for nearly two days, I’m making up for lost time,” They said simply. 

“I love you, you’re so perfect.” Ghoul placed a hand on Poison’s face and ran his thumb along their cheek, memorizing their every contour. “I don’t ever want to fight with you again, that was horrible. It felt like a part of my chest was collapsing with every second we spent apart.” 

“Never again,” they agreed, “We should probably get up. It’s late.” Ghoul groaned, but stood up and held out his hand for Poison, not letting go even after he had pulled them up. Giving Poison a quick peck on the cheek, Ghoul pulled the two of them into the main room of the diner, where Jet, Kobra, and Sandman sat in a booth. The casual conversation between them came to a screeching halt when Poison sat down in the empty space next to Jet, but the silence became less uneasy when Ghoul promptly swung his legs over Poison’s and draped an arm around their neck.

“So I take it you two are back on good terms again?” Jet asked hesitantly, as if he were walking on a glass floor that could break at any moment and send him falling into the abyss. 

“Yep,” Ghoul replied, popping the “p” and leaning his head on Poison’s shoulder, who smiled down at the boy and kissed the top of his head.

“We’ve worked everything out, it was really just the both of us being stubborn bastards. Plus we just missed each other like crazy.” They grinned, casually and pleasantly, leaning their head onto Ghoul’s and pressing a small kiss to his hair. “So what have you guys been up to?”

###  Kobra

“Are they always this… touchy,” Sandman whispered to Kobra as he watched the two lovers across the table. They were playing with each other’s hair and Ghoul was smiling like he just got asked on his first date. 

“They did just literally get over what was probably the worst fight of their relationship, but yes. Sometimes they’re worse and I want to vomit. Though I think they both deserve it. Poison’s been through so much and so has Ghoul, they of all people should be happy.” Kobra glanced at his sibling, the way their eyes lit up whenever Ghoul kissed them or said something to them, and it made him happy, seeing them together.

"Well Sandman's recovering well, Kobra's been helping him out a bunch, and I’ve mostly been trying to avoid you assholes and all of your drama.” Jet’s words had no bite to them, and he smiled good naturedly at the people next to him. Ghoul smiled back before pressing a kiss to Poison’s neck, triggering a loud giggle from them in response.

“Alright. It was nice talking to everyone, but if y’all are going to get into that I’m fucking out.” Sandman made to get up, but Kobra grabbed him by the shoulder and forced him back down into the booth, Ghoul shooting the pink haired boy a withering glare.

“You’ve got a fucking hole in your gut, man, you can’t go dashing off every time you get uncomfortable,” Kobra laughed.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize it would take this long, I’ll try harder next time,” Ghoul snapped, and Poison snorted.

“I fucking love you, Darling.” they kissed him, long and hard, until even Jet started to squirm, and Sandman looked ready to vomit. Jet cleared his throat, and they broke apart, grinning and breathless.

“As much as I hate to break you lovebirds apart-”

“Yeah what’s up with that, man?”

“Shut up Ghoul. As I was saying, we’ve got a bit of an issue on our hands here. We’re currently nursing the face of the Juvies back to health from a serious injury, with no way to contact his crew to let them know he’s even alive. And on top of that, according to Kobra and Sandman, we might be together for longer than any of us planned, since D decided that we should work together to get some girl out of the City.” 

“You- we- fucking-  _ fuck! _ ” Ghoul groaned dramatically, holding his hand over his face like a character from an old movie. 

“We what? D wants us to work with this asshole? No fucking way. I’m sorry, but I nearly lost Ghoul because of this fucker I’m not doing jack  _ shit _ with him.” Poison wrapped their arms protectively around their boyfriend. “I’m not even going to talk about the rest of all of this. I swore I’d never go back to the City and I fucking meant it. Especially not with some fucking  _ Juvies.” _

“I’m still here, you know, and I can fucking hear you. I didn’t mean to cause you trouble I was just bleeding out in the middle of the fucking desert. It was  _ your _ boyfriend who decided to lose his shit!” Sandman stood up, despite Kobra’s many protests, and pointed accusingly at Ghoul.

“You killed my fucking parents!” Ghoul was standing now too, his hands were gripping the edge of the table, knuckles white. Poison’s eyes were darting between their lover and Sandman, placing a comforting hand on Ghoul’s in an attempt to calm him.

“They were still on the drugs you moron! They tried to sell us out!” Sandman was gesturing wildly now, nearly hitting Kobra and Ghoul in the face.

“Well why didn’t you just lock them up and wean them off like you did with a fuck ton of other people?” They were in each other’s faces now, the other occupants if the diner looking nervously between them, tense and ready to grab the boys if things got physical.

“Because they killed someone!” 

The room fell silent.

“What?” Ghoul deflated, his voice shaking.

“Did you actually know what they did? They were ‘Crows, man. They tried to get out, and we went to stop them, because they had seen so much and would sell us out. American Girl and American Idiot themselves were out there. She didn’t make it back. Your father managed to grab her and tried to use her as leverage to get out, but right before they left he shot her anyway. American Idiot went berserk, demanded we shut down all the tunnels and went after them himself. I don’t know how you connected me to this-”

“I saw you talking with someone. They had spiky black hair and I couldn’t tell who said it, but one of you said they had been ‘dealt with.’” Ghoul had collapsed back into Poison’s arms as soon as he found out his parents were ‘Crows, but now he looked angry again, but Kobra couldn’t tell who he was angry at, Sandman or his parents. Sandman nodded knowingly.

“That was American Idiot. I don’t know how you saw that, but I had nothing to do with their deaths, I swear.” Sandman held his hands up in surrender, but Ghoul had gone into a state of shock, so Poison looked up at him for a moment and nodded before bringing their attention back to their boyfriend. Kobra pulled gently on Sandman’s arm, and he sat down heavily. Kobra grabbed his hand under the table and squeezed it reassuringly. Looking over at Jet, the blonde saw the other boy staring at him, a strange expression on his face, but a split second later it was gone, so Kobra brushed it off.

###  Poison

Poison pulled Ghoul into their chest, resting their chin on top of his head and stroking his hair. He was completely limp in their arms, staring off into the distance with an unreadable expression.

“I need some air,” he finally said, his face still blank as he shifted.

“Alright Darling. I’ll come with you, okay?” Ghoul nodded and walked, trance-like, out into the desert sun. He didn’t make a move to get out of it, so Poison took his hand and pulled him to a shaded area. 

“They were ‘Crows. Fucking  _ Scarecrows _ . Destroya, I’ve got ‘Crow blood in me. I’m all fucking ‘Crow blood, Poison! I- I’ve killed people, I- I’m just like  _ them _ , I shouldn’t be here, I could be putting you in danger, I could sell you out, you have to  _ go _ !” Ghoul’s voice was ragged, his eyes wild. Poison tried to comfort him, but he pushed them away. “I could hurt you!” But still, despite all Ghoul’s protests, they stood their ground. 

“Go on then, hurt me. I’m not leaving you. I promised I wouldn’t, and I intend to keep that promise if it’s the last thing I do.” Ghoul’s tear-filled eyes finally found Poison’s, wide and red but filled with adoration and gratitude, his mouth curved up in the barest hint of a smile. “You’re nothing like them. You’re so  _ good _ , you’re sweet and kind and the most loyal person I’ve ever met and I trust you with my life. With more than that. I trust you with my heart, and I know you wouldn’t break it, because I know  _ you. _ ” They pulled him in, wrapping their arms around his waist. “You are  _ nothing _ like them,” they repeated, “Nothing. Do you hear me? You are not your parents, and I’ll be damned before I leave you or let you become one of them. As long as you want me to stay, the Phoenix Witch herself couldn’t take me away from you.” Ghoul buried his face in their chest, fingers curling into the fabric of their shirt as he sobbed.

“I love you. So. Fucking. Much.” Poison kissed the top of his head and started swaying gently, humming the tune to a song they had long ago forgotten the name of.

“When you try your best but you don’t succeed, and you get what you want but not what you need, and you feel so tired that you can’t sleep, stuck in reverse.” Their voice was soft and cracking with emotion, but they kept singing, trying to calm Ghoul down. “And the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can’t replace, when you love someone but it goes to waste, could it be worse?” Ghoul began humming along, but then eventually started singing as well.

“Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try, to fix you.” They continued swaying, one of Ghoul’s hands on Poison’s shoulder and the other clinging to their hand like a lifeline. Poison hummed a melody from nowhere, stringing notes together as they danced. Everything fell into place, and Poison knew now was the time.

“Marry me?”

“What?” Ghoul looked up at them, a thousand emotions playing across his features.

“Will you marry me?” They repeated hesitantly, a smile growing on Ghoul’s face as he realized what they had said. “I just, I meant to ask that day, and I was going to, but Sandman interrupted and this is one of the first times we’ve been alone since that whole fiasco blew over, but I don’t think I can stand another minute without being bound to you. I know marriage isn’t exactly a perfect thing, and it doesn’t exactly mean anything anymore, but-”

“Yes.” Ghoul’s eyes were wide and happy, his whole face glowing. “Yes. Of course you fucking idiot, yes. I think it’s a wonderful idea. You couldn’t possibly think I would’ve said no?” Poison grinned sheepishly, and Ghoul shook his head before pulling them down for a kiss. “Yes,” he breathed into their mouth. “Always and forever.”

“Always and forever, Darling,” they repeated slowly, “I love you, so fucking much.” Their eyes widened. “I almost forgot!” They reached into their pocket, pulling out the two strands of blue beads they had planned on using the first time. “Since we can’t get gold rings, I figured we could use these.” they smiled softly, and Ghoul grinned back.

“I love them. I love you. You’re so wonderful, did you know that? You keep my world from spiraling into the Witch knows what.” He picked up a strand. “Gimme your hand. I’m pretty sure it’s tradition to put the ring on your partner’s finger, or whatever.” Ghoul held Poison's hand gently, and they enjoyed the feeling of his warm fingers on their palm. He twisted the strand so it was doubled up and slipped it onto their wrist. “Always and forever, Prettyboy.” Poison took Ghoul’s hand, and slid the beads over his hand, where they glittered in the sunlight.

“Always and forever.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so to make up for the last chapter being kind of short, we made this one longer.  
> Another huge thanks to Ash for being the best person ever
> 
> During the scene with the music, the piece Poison is describing is Beethoven's 7th symphony.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, and leave some feedback I love hearing from you guys!

Part 5

### Jet

Something was going on between Kobra and Sandman, Jet could see it. The way they sat so close together, the concern in Kobra’s voice when he asked if Sandman was alright, the way Sandman looked at Kobra like he was something he had lost years ago and found again. Right now they were sitting in a booth, Kobra double checking to make sure none of Sandman’s stitches got ripped out during the argument. They were talking, voices low, and Jet decided it would be best to leave them alone. He stepped outside to find Poison and Ghoul to bring them back in, and as he rounded a corner he saw the two of them swaying slowly, their soft voices carrying over the sand. They were singing a song he couldn’t quite recognize, though the tune sounded familiar. As he watched, he heard Poison’s humming die out, and a conversation started. Jet was too far away to actually make out any words, but Poison was rambling, which they only did when they were nervous, until Ghoul cut them off with something that made the brightest smile Jet had ever seen grow on Poison’s face. They pulled something out of their pocket, and Ghoul took their hand for a moment before kissing it. Poison did the same before pressing their foreheads together. Jet let them stay for a moment, then cleared his throat, and he could swear he saw both of them jump.

“Hey so, Ghoul I know you may not be feeling the best right now, but we still have some things we need to talk about.” He felt really bad about interrupting their moment, but unfortunately there were more pressing matters at hand. “I think we can get ahold of the Juvies and let them know Sandman is alive as long as he knows the frequency.”

“Oh, shit, yeah, of course.” Ghoul grabbed Poison’s hand and pulled them along. He let go for a moment to open the doors for them and Jet, then followed, making a beeline for Poison’s side. He looked over at Jet. “Just a second.” Ghoul pulled Poison into the center of the room, grabbed a fistful of their shirt, and pulled their mouth to his so fast, they nearly lost their balance. Jet watched Sandman’s jaw drop, and Kobra just put his hand over the shorter man’s mouth, his face completely neutral. Poison got over their initial shock and deepened the kiss, wrapping their arms around his waist and pulling him closer, nearly lifting his feet off the ground. In all the time they had been together, Jet had never seen them kiss like this. There had been desperate ones and thousands upon thousands of sweet ones, but none like this. They seemed so lost in each other he was surprised they were able to break apart. Ghoul’s face was lit up with happiness, matched only by Poison themself, whose hair was sticking up at odd angles, their eyes wide as they stared at him breathlessly.

“What the fuck was that about?” Sandman asked, his voice a mixture of confusion and disgust.

“We’re fucking engaged, that’s what!” Ghoul was practically bouncing in place. “We’re going to get married! I’m fucking- I’m marrying Party Poison, bitches!!” He looked back over at Poison and kissed them again, long and hard, taking a fistful of Poison’s bright hair.

“That’s what I was trying to do when you found us, I was literally halfway through the question when your sorry ass showed up,” they said once Ghoul had finally let go of them, “I was honestly—and I say this in the nicest way possible, tempted to wait another minute before going to help you so I could finish asking.” They sat down opposite Kobra and Sandman, pulling Ghoul onto their lap. “I wouldn’t have left you there, but I wasn’t happy about it. Especially not when-” their voice broke off and they buried their face in Ghoul’s hair. Ghoul turned, wrapped his arms around them protectively, and kissed the top of their head. “When _it_ happened. But, it’s- it’s over now. And we’re together.” They smiled at Ghoul and he pressed his lips to their forehead. “We’re getting married,” they laughed, “I get to call you my fiance! You’re gonna be my husband, Darling!”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Gorgeous.” Poison kissed him again, and Sandman gagged. Jet smacked him on the back of the head playfully.

“Shut up Sandman, you’re just jealous.”

“Of that? No way man, you guys are gross.” Sandman wrinkled his nose and Kobra tapped it lightly, a small smile on his face. This was getting weird. Jet knew Kobra. He rarely smiled, and not at people, even Poison had only seen him smile a few times. But recently, ever since Sandman showed up, he was happier, more talkative, less closed off. Jet raised an eyebrow at him, and Kobra shrugged, his smile growing ever-so-slightly wider when Sandman stuck his tongue out at him. Jet decided it was probably best to change the subject.

“So, I’m pretty sure we can get in contact with your crew and let them know that you’re alive. As long as you know the frequency they use and any potential passwords, you should be able to contact them.”

“Oh shit, yeah they’ll be worried about me. Benze is gonna kill me, _fuck,”_ Sandman swore, running a hand through his hot pink hair. “Yeah I know all the shit get me a radio, I’ve gotta let them know I’m alive, I just fucking _left,_ its been _days_.”

“Hey, I’m sure they’ll just be happy you’re okay,” Kobra said, his eyes were soft, and Jet swore he saw Kobra brush their hands together. He’d have to talk to him about that, this was getting out of hand. “And if they are mad, I’m sure you’ll work through it. I’ve never come across a crew that wasn’t first and foremost concerned about their member’s safety.”

“Thanks, Dear, I appreciate it.” Sandman smiled at Kobra just as Poison’s head snapped up, their eyes glaring daggers into Sandman’s chest.

“The fuck do you mean by that, asshat?” Poison had practically dropped Ghoul in their lap with an eyebrow raised, crossing their arms as Ghoul caught himself. Jet felt his stomach drop. Poison didn’t get mad often, but when they did, it was bad.

“Mean by what?”

“You called him ‘dear.’ What the actual fuck did you mean by that?” 

“I- uhh-”

“It’s nothing,” Kobra cut in quickly, “I’m pretty sure he called at least five other people the same thing when I first met him. It’s just a thing he says to people.”

“Just because he says it to people doesn’t mean I want him calling my little brother that,” Poison snapped, their brow furrowed and they seemed to be gripping the edge of the table with considerable force. “Can I just… talk to you? In private?” Kobra’s eyes widened, but he nodded. Poison got up and Kobra followed close behind, wringing his hands in his shirt. He turned around and shot Sandman a quick glance before following his sibling into the kitchen. Jet and the others sat in uncomfortable silence until Sandman opened his mouth.

“Fucking hell, they really don’t have a grey area do they? Just disgustingly clingy or seriously pissed.” Sandman’s voice was bitter, and Jet once again felt the tension creeping back into the room. "You'd think they'd let Kobra live his own fucking life." 

"Hey, watch yourself, that's the love of my life you're dissing." Ghoul had gone still, and Jet knew something was coming. Ghoul was never still. Even in his sleep, something was always moving, tapping a foot or drumming his fingers on the nearest flat surface, but the moment Sandman started speaking, the constant beat of his body stopped. 

"Oh yeah? Love of your life. Really? It didn't seem like it for a while there." Jet was internally begging Sandman to stop now, but the pink-haired man just leaned back in his seat, a smug smile on his face. “It’s kinda hard to believe you two _still_ love each other after all that. Honestly, I’m surprised you guys are even together anymore, I could hear you, it sounded-” His words were cut off by Ghoul’s fist hitting him squarely in the nose. There was a ‘pop,’ and blood started to stream down his face. He swung again, but Jet grabbed Ghoul by the shoulders and dragged him away. 

“I said, ‘watch yourself.’” He shook out of Jet’s grip just as Poison and Kobra came back in. The siblings froze, eyes wide, before Kobra rushed to Sandman’s side, grabbing his bandana to stem the flow of blood.

“What the everloving _fuck_ is going on?” Poison walked over to their fiance, taking his face in their hands. “Did he hurt you?” Sandman stepped forward, blood on his face and rage in his eyes. Kobra pulled him away by the back of his shirt and Jet stepped forward.

“Sandman was talking shit and Ghoul punched him.” Poison’s eyes narrowed and they rounded on Sandman.

“What did you say to him? Tell me. What. Did. You. Say.” Their voice was full of venom, and even Ghoul flinched at their tone. 

“He said,” Ghoul was shaking now, out of pure anger, it was somewhat uncomfortable for Jet to be surrounded by so much rage. “He said he couldn't believe we were still together after the fight, that he didn’t think I loved you.” Poison looked like they were about to hit Sandman themself, but they stopped and put their head in their hands. Ghoul moved so he was able to rub the back of Poison’s neck, to comfort his obviously upset lover.

“What the fuck, Sandman?” Kobra stopped cleaning the blood off his face, hitting his shoulder with the bloody rag. “Dude that’s fucked up.”

“I need you to leave.” They said at last, and Kobra and Sandman yelled “what?” simultaneously. “I brought you here, jeopardizing my relationship in doing so, and all you’ve done is cause trouble and hurt the people I love. I fucking proposed to Ghoul today, and you just keep saying shit and I’m fucking _done._ Jet and Kobra can take you to where your crew is, but you need to leave.” They moved so they were behind Ghoul, wrapping their arms around his waist and resting their chin on his shoulder. “I love you, okay?” They kissed his neck softly. “Don’t ever doubt that. Not even for a second. I love you.” Ghoul turned around in their arms and pressed his face into their chest.

“Poison, we can’t travel with him yet, it’s just started to heal, we can’t risk fucking it up with a rough car ride or the posibillity of a clap,” Kobra said, his voice almost desperate.

“Kobra’s right. I may be good, but if he rips out more than two of those stitches in the next few days it could get ugly real fast. I don’t have the supplies to patch him up again if something happens. Ah fuck, but we also don't have the resources to feed another person for longer than a few days, a week if we’re lucky.” He dragged a hand through his mop of hair, wondering how the fuck they were going to fix this one. 

“Well, what the fuck are we supposed to do then?” Poison’s voice was sharp. They were still clinging to Ghoul, holding his head protectively and running their fingers through his hair. Sandman mumbled something Jet couldn’t quite hear, but Poison almost growled in his direction. “The fuck did you just say?”

“I said-”

“How about we just separate you guys so someone doesn’t end up dead,” Jet cut in, pulling Poison and Ghoul into the hallway and pushing them towards their room. “I’m sure you’re going to have to talk about stuff, and if not just, try and avoid him, okay?” Ghoul nodded, closing the door behind them.

### Poison

Ghoul closed the door and sat down numbly, the ghosts of tears forming in his eyes. Poison was trying so hard to not let their heart shatter at the sight of their boyfriend, looking so upset, so absolutely heartbroken. They reached out an arm for comfort, pressing the palm of their hand against their cheek, rubbing a thumb across it softly. Ghoul closed his eyes and leaned into their touch, his breath slowing as he started to speak, quiet yet full of intense anger.

“Can’t we just get _one day_ . A single. _Fucking day_ when we get to be happy? This should be one of the happiest days of our lives, we just got engaged, for fuck’s sake, but no. Apparently two hours is the time limit on happiness. All I want is to just enjoy my time with you, just be around you and happy, but it just keeps getting ruined. And I should be over the fucking moon right now, but I’m here crying because some asshole couldn’t keep his mouth shut, and I just- I’m so done.” He fell into Poison’s arms, and they simply hugged him to their chest for a moment. He never actually began to cry, but Poison could tell he was damn near close. “And the things he said. He said he couldn't believe we were still in love after that fight, and I’ve been trying to not let it get to me, but I just need to make sure he was wrong.” Poison’s heart was breaking with every word. They had literally just pledged their soul to this man, and a few words from Sandman had him doubting everything from the last two days.

“Of course he was wrong, I love you.” They paused, taking a moment to think about the enormity of their next words. “My body, heart, and soul are yours to do with what you wish.

”  They had never thought that they’d ever again be able to feel comfortable in their own skin after what had  _ happened  _ to them. After they had tormented themself with the disguising abuse that they went through under their own free will. And once they had stopped, vowed never to let themself do  _ it  _ again, to never let anyone else have them, they had still let Ghoul in. After their unspoken promise to themself, that their body belonged to them and nobody but them, they had still managed to give themself to Ghoul. To just hand over the one thing they promised never to give again. And Poison truly believed that Ghoul would love and cherish it with everything they had. They didn't know what they'd do if he didn't because in that moment, Poison had nothing left that was purely their own. His eyes widened as their words sunk in. He knew what had happened. What they had done. What they had let people do to them. They held him with bated breath as he turned the words over in his mind. 

“You would trust me that much? After everything you’ve been through?” He stared at them with eyes full of wonder and light as they smiled shyly and nodded. 

There is not a thing in this world that could make me stop loving you. You could point a gun in my face and I would love you. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of eternity at your side, for as long as you’ll have me. I am completely at your mercy.” They leaned back, cradling Ghoul’s face in their hands, kissing him gently at the end of each sentence. Gradually he relaxed, and they slid their hands down, rubbing up and down his arms. 

“Are- are you absolutely sure?” Ghoul’s voice was shaking, desperate. “I love you so much, and I don’t know if I could handle losing you.Or, fuck, if I ever hurt you I-” Poison shushed him gently and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, then pulled back, never separating them by more than a few inches.

“More than I’ve ever been in my life, Darling. I’m completely and utterly in love with you, and some silly fight won’t ever change that.” They twisted a strand of his hair absentmindedly. “I just want you to be happy. You make me so happy, let me make you happy.” Poison offered him a hesitant smile, and he returned it slowly, still in the shadows of his doubts. “Will you dance with me?” He nodded and they found an old CD and put it in the player, letting the soft music wash over them as they wrapped their arms around Ghoul. He rested his head on their chest as they began to sway in time to the music. “We’re okay. You’ll be okay,” they whispered after a minute.

They danced for a while, swaying around the room and letting the music drown out their thoughts. The song was soft and fluid, the tempo changing slowly as each new section started. Poison generally didn’t consider themself a classical fan, but this one was beautiful, it swelled up and down in beautiful harmonies, the cadence of each instrument unique yet somehow fitting perfectly with the rest. The flutes and violins were entwined, each handing over the lead role to the other only to get it back again when the time came. The sound retreated for a moment, then came back with a vengeance for one last hurrah before slowing down and dying out one section at a time. When the song ended, the last of the symphony echoing throughout the room, Ghoul sat down on the mattress, a smile finally forming on his beautiful face. Poison sat next to him before pivoting their body and laying down with their head in his lap. He picked up a strand of their hair and twirled it around, mesmerized. They smiled and reached up, running their fingers through Ghoul’s hair and down his cheek. 

“You’re beautiful,” he said, eyes full of adoration. Poison felt their cheeks heating up and pulled their hair so it hid their face. “You are,” he insisted, brushing away the red locks, “You're absolutely gorgeous.” 

“I love you.” they grabbed Ghoul’s free hand and held it to their chest, tracing his tattoos with their fingers. “I don’t deserve you. I’ve been such an asshole.”

“How come?”

“When I talked to Kobra earlier, I was mad and being overprotective and let it all out on him. I was too focused on the fact that I blamed Sandman for our fight that I couldn’t see the way my own brother was feeling about it all. I yelled at him for being so close to Sandman after everything and he said something. He said he saw us and we were ‘so fucking happy and in love and I want to love like that.’ He said he wanted to ‘be loved like that.’ He asked why we get to be happy and he doesn’t. And I can see it now, the way he looks at him. Kobra’s been happier and more talkative since Sandman showed up and as much as I hate it, I think they like each other.”

“He couldn’t. No. Your baby brother doesn’t like him. There’s no fucking way he likes that asshole. I can’t believe that.”

“I don’t know what to do, darling. He’s my brother, I love him to death and it hurts so much to see how lonely he is, but I just can’t put up with Sandman after everything he’s done. That wouldn’t be fair to you, but if I didn’t, it wouldn’t be fair to Kobra. I can’t figure out what to do, you have to help me. I don’t think I could stand to cause either of you pain.”

“I know I can’t make you pick me over him, especially about this, but just because he’s your brother doesn’t mean you have to deal with all of his shit. He’s his own person, he’s free to make his own stupid ass descisions, and we can always give him hell if they don’t turn out the way he expected them to. It shouldn’t be on you to decide who he dates, and it’s not my job to make that call either, but Sandman doesn’t deserve him. He doesn’t belong here. We’ve given him as much hospitality as we can offer in this shithole and he’s just treated us like crap. He’s nearly ruined our relationship twice, once was even deliberate, and hasn’t apologized for it either. Honestly, I think we should be able to give both of them plenty of shit for everything. If he turns out to be a decent guy, fuckin’ rad, they can do whatever the fuck they want. But right now I don’t trust him, so I think you should hold off for a little bit.” Poison nodded, twisting the beads on Ghoul’s wrist. Ghoul kept running his hands through their hair, the sensation soothing their chaotic mind. “Make sure you take yourself into consideration as well. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but you need to think about yourself more. It’s always about what everyone else wants and it worries me. You can’t just keep giving and not hold onto something for yourself, otherwise you’ll have nothing left, and then you’re really fucked. Just remember that. You’re allowed to think about what you want, and if you don’t I'll come and make you.” Poison hooked an arm around Ghoul’s neck and pulled themself up to kiss him, pouring everything they were feeling into it. Their confliction over Kobra, their anger at Sandman, it all went into that kiss. But most of all they poured everything they felt for Ghoul into it. How much they loved him and were worried about how things affected him, their appreciation for him helping them through everything, and the joy they felt at the prospect of their wedding. Ghoul kissed back with equal passion, and they wanted nothing more than to just stay there, in that safe haven of music and him, kissing and holding him and being held until all of this blew over, but they had to leave. They pulled away slowly, and Ghoul made a small whine of complaint as they rested their foreheads together and let their breaths mingle.

“We have to go back out there, we have to talk to them.”

“We don’t _have_ to,” Ghoul groaned, “We could just stay here. I want to just stay here with you.” They laughed and kissed him again, this time standing up after.

“We’ve got to go rescue Jet from Sandman. I'm sure he’s going insane right now, Darling.” Ghoul huffed, but stood up as well and slid his arm around Poison’s waist.

“Fine. But only because I love you so much, Prettyboy.” Poison grinned and pulled him into their side.

“Lovely, Darling.” They kissed him one more time, then pulled him into the hallway again. As they neared the main room, Poison could hear the sounds of people shouting. Of _Kobra_ shouting. 

“-don’t care how much I like you, if you wreck their chance at happiness, I will fucking _end_ you.” Kobra was pacing as they came into the room, pointing menacingly at Sandman, who sat in the booth still, his legs pulled up to his chest. 

“Oh look, the dramatic bitch is back. Wonderful.” Sandman’s face adopted something that wasn’t quite a sneer but still held the same emotion, and Poison had to pick Ghoul up to keep him from attacking the other boy, though they nearly joined him.

“What the fuck did I just say, you whore! I swear to the Witch, if you cause another fight I will _personally_ tie you to a chair and leave you on the side of the Getaway Mile.” Kobra looked downright furious, and Sandman at least had the decency to look apologetic. Ghoul stopped struggling in Poison’s arms, so they set him down and he leaned into them, pressing his back into their chest as they wrapped their arms around his stomach. They set their chin on top of his head, and Sandman rolled his eyes, to which Ghoul and Poison flipped him off in unison. 

Ghoul rested his hands overtop of Poison’s before shooting a glare at Sandman. “Thought maybe you’d know when to stop,” he practically spat, leaning his head into Poison’s chest.

“Nah, ask my crew, I don’t fucking shut up.” Sandman’s expression was twisting into a grin, getting a loud, angry grunt from Ghoul in response.

“Oh, well in that case they’re probably praising our names right about now.” Poison snorted, shoving their face into Ghoul’s hair in an attempt to hide it. 

“Have you got any food in this dump? Cause I dunno about you fucking vampires, but I’ve got to eat eventually.”

Ghoul tensed up again at Sandman calling their home a ‘dump’ and Poison had to pin his arms down to keep him from launching himself at the pink-haired boy. They ran soothing fingers down his arms and face, whispering nothings and kissing his cheeks and neck.

“Play nice. He’s not worth it.” 

“As you wish, Prettyboy.” He stepped out of their grip and dragged them over to the booth where Sandman was hiding. “Though, now that you mention it, I could go for some food right about now. What’ve we got Jet?” Jet looked up from his boots abruptly, his eyes wide.

“I- uh… er… I know we’ve got some Power Pup, and we might have some beans, but I doubt it.” He ducked behind the counter for a second, coming back with five cans of Power Pup. “Yeah, no beans. Sorry.” Ghoul shrugged, holding up his hands to catch the can Jet threw at him. 

“Power Pup? The dog food? You guys eat fucking _dog food?_ ” Sandman looked queasy, his face pale and incredulous.

“So what? I don’t think I’ve had anything fresh since I left the City,” Ghoul snapped, then his eyes widened. “Wait. You mean that you guys have _actual food_ in the Underground?” Sandman looked at him like he was crazy, then nodded slowly, casting confused looks about the room. “Holy shit. That’s insane. You Juvies have it so good, fucking hell.” Sandman opened his can, prodding at the brown mass with a curled lip.

“You seriously don’t have anything else? ‘Cause I am _not_ eating this.” Ghoul shook his head and took a large bite with a smirk. Sandman gagged, but he must’ve been really hungry, because he pinched his nose and took a small bite. And nearly spat it out immediately. Poison actually laughed at that, enjoying the sight of Sandman literally scraping his tongue off in an effort to get the flavor out of his mouth. 

“You’ve uh… got something on your face,” Ghoul said after a minute, squinting at Poison with a small grin on his face.

“Oh, fuck, Where?” They held up their spoon in an effort to see what Ghoul meant. Ghoul just smiled at them as they looked into the reflective surface, a look on his face that Poison couldn’t exactly read. Something mischievous, that was for sure.

“Just here.” He grabbed Poison’s chin, then ran his tongue up their cheek, which promptly combusted, or at least felt like it did. They could feel their heartbeat slowly increasing, but they tried to avoid showing a reaction. They trusted him not to go too far, but he was straying dangerously close to that line. They tightened their grip on his middle as he pulled away. “Got it,” he said smugly, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "I'm sorry," he whispered into their ear.

Sandman actually looked green now, the little blood that had remained in his face gone. 

"You two are disgusting. I mean that. Actually disgusting. Their face is fucking _filthy_ , and you fucki-" His words died in his throat, refusing to come out. "You fucking-"

"Take your time, sugar," Poison encouraged, now recovered enough to taunt the shell-shocked Juvie. "Don't hurt yourself." Sandman sputtered some more, then gave up.

"I'm trying to fucking _eat_ ," he said at last, before throwing down his spoon and staring pointedly out the window, his cheeks now bright red. Ghoul turned to Poison and grinned, and they couldn't help but return the gesture. 

"Can you two cut it out?" Kobra was sitting on top of the counter, his face twisted in embarrassment. "He's not the only one who has to see you, you know."

"Fuck off, you're just jealous," Ghoul shot back, sticking his tongue out before kissing Poison again. He intended for it to be short, but Poison decided it was his turn to be surprised, so they deepened the kiss, pulling him into their lap. An acceptance of his apology and an agreement to play along. They shoved their hands into his hair, and he grabbed a fistful of their shirt. Poison dimly heard Kobra groan, and they held on just a moment longer before letting go. Ghoul was out of breath, his eyes wild and hair sticking up at a thousand angles. "What was that for?" He smiled and smoothed down his hair. Poison shrugged.

"Just because." They reached out and pulled on Ghoul's hair some more, ruining it for a second time. Ghoul stuck out his tongue, and they tapped his nose lightly with a grin. “You’re adorable!” He pouted dramatically.

“Shut up. I’m not adorable!” 

“Yes, you are. You’re so small and angry, it’s cute.” They kissed the tip of his nose, then tapped it again. Sandman looked over at them, stood up, then promptly fell to the floor. 

“Fuck!” he looked around sheepishly. “What? My legs fell asleep!” Ghoul rolled his eyes and adjusted himself so he was more comfortably situated on Poison’s lap.

“And _I’m_ the dramatic one? No one's ever fallen on their face from numb legs you bastard.” Kobra helped Sandman up and he flipped Ghoul off. Kobra saw and swatted his hand down with hiss.

“Not again!” Sandman scowled, pulling his arm out of Kobra’s grip, ignoring the hurt look on the taller boy's face. “Hey, Sandman, I-”

“Save it.” Sandman’s voice was aggressive, angry as he shot a hint at a glare at Kobra. Poison obviously noticed the hurt on his face because they almost immediately twisted their expression into something just as angry as Sandman’s

“Oi! That’s my fucking brother!” They felt themself squeeze Ghoul tighter to keep from jumping forward and whacking Sandman and Ghoul’s hand going up to graze fingertips across their tense arm.

“And he’s going to be _my_ brother soon too, so shut the fuck up or I’ll break something other than your nose,” added Ghoul, his voice with just as much venom as Poison, still softly brushing his fingers over Poison’s arm.

“Oh, I don’t think we need to take it _that_ far, Darling.”

“Why not?”

“Well we do still need him on that run for D. You can break something right after, promise.”

Sandman scowled, crossing his arms and leaning back, looking at the couple with narrowed eyes. “Hey, could you _not_ plot my murder right in front of me, thanks, I don’t need to be watching my back constantly ‘cause some fucking psychopath is mad at me for insulting his fiance’s brother.”

“The fuck did you just call him? Are you actually aware of what that means? ‘Cause if you are I may just have to fight you myself. Psychopaths aren’t inherently violent, so first of all, that’s insulting to psychopaths. Secondly, an actual psychopath is someone who doesn’t feel empathy, and right now it seems to me that you’re more of a psychopath than Ghoul is even capable of considering.” Sandman scoffed, rolling his eyes, and Poison nearly lunged at him, but Ghoul tightened his grip on their arm.

“You motherfucker, you have no-”

“Why don’t we contact Sandman’s crew, let them know he’s alive,” Jet cut in, holding up one of their spare radios, “We really should’ve done that hours ago, but let’s just get it done now before we lose what’s left of the daylight, we can't guarantee they’ll be awake after the sun goes down.” Kobra jumped up, grabbing the radio and tossing it to Sandman.

“Yeah go ahead, let’s make sure we get that done.” Sandman nodded, fiddling with the buttons on the small rdevice.

“Are we sure it can reach them? This doesn’t look like it has a lot of range.” He looked at Kobra dubiously, motioning to the small antenna.

“Absolutely, I modified that one myself, you could reach someone in the heart of Bat city with this bitch.” Sandman nodded again, then found the channel he had been looking for and brought the radio to his mouth.

“Hello? Benze? Beauty? Psycho?”

“Sandman? Is that you?” A voice crackled through the speakers, tired but worried.

“Yeah.”

“What the heck man? It’s been what, three whole days? This is the second time you’ve disappeared this week, where the heck are you?”

“Shit, sorry Benze, I’m-” he covered the mic for a moment, looking at Kobra, “Where are we?”

“Zone three, two miles South of the rough section of Guano.” Sandman nodded.

“I’m with the Four in a diner about two miles South of Guano in Zone three. I got bored and went to practice my racing, but I got jumped by some Dracs and they shot me. I found Party Poison and Fun Ghoul by chance and they’ve patched me up. Jet says I can’t travel yet, but I should be good to go to meet you guys at Dr. Death Defying’s in a few days.”

“Wh- You got _shot?_ ” The voice—Benzedrine—sounded more scared now. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Jet’s a good medic. But hey, I think we’ll be working with the Four to get some girl out of the City for some reason. They don’t know why either, but at least we’re not completely in the dark anymore.” He began pacing the room, and Kobra dragged him to a chair and made him sit down. Ghoul glanced at Poison with an eyebrow raised, seeming to ask _why the change in attitude?_ Poison had to admit it was strange, a moment ago he had been at their throats, and now he spoke as if they were almost friends. 

“Hmm. Well any information is better than none, I suppose, just make sure you rest up as much as you can, we don’t know what’s coming and it’s best if you’re in the best condition possible.” Sandman nodded absent-mindedly, then remembered that Benzedrine couldn’t actually see him.

“Yeah, definitely. The Kobra Kid’s making sure I don’t bang myself up too much. Oh, make sure to let the others know I’m alive, and I’ll see you then?”

“Just don’t get hurt anymore, and we’ll see you in a few days.” The connection faded, Benzedrine’s voice replaced by static, and Sandman smiled softly at the device, turning it over in his hands. 

“You miss them?” Kobra asked softly, his eyes trailing in Sandman’s direction. He didn’t say anything in response, just nodded slowly. “Well, at least he wasn’t mad. I told you it’d be okay.” Ghoul opened his mouth to say something, but Poison quickly covered it, this wasn’t their moment to intrude on. Ghoul made a small noise and licked their fingers in an effort to get them to remove them, but they held fast. Kobra laid a hand on the pink-haired boy’s shoulder, and Sandman covered it with his own. This time, Poison was the one about to call out, but Ghoul mimicked them and covered their mouth with his free hand, shooting them a glance. Slowly, in unison, they removed their hands from each other’s mouths, Poison immediately wiping theirs on their jeans. 

“I can’t believe you licked my hand that’s so gross,” they laughed, making sure they got the last of Ghoul’s spit off their hand. “You’re disgusting!”

“Finally, now you know how I feel,” Sandman piped up from his chair, and Poison glared at him before capturing Ghoul’s mouth in their own. Sandman groaned, and they felt Ghoul grin against their mouth. 

“It’s been a long day,” he said once they parted, “Prettyboy and I are gonna go lie down, try and get some rest ‘nd shit.” He got up and pulled Poison out of the booth. Jet nodded and gave a half-hearted wave as they left. 

Poison tossed themself onto the mattress, kicking their boots off and dumping their jacket on the floor. Ghoul milled around the room for a moment, picking up a book they recognized as one of his favorites. 

“Can you read to me again?” they asked as he sat down next to them, “I love listening to you read.” Ghoul smiled and lifted up his arm, and they curled into his side, smiling up at him as he opened the book.

“I love you.” He rested his head on top of theirs and pulled the nearest blanket over the both of them. Poison wrapped their arms around his middle, enjoying his warmth and the vibrations in his chest as he began to read.

“‘Aren’t you going to say anything?’ he said at last.

‘I was going to tell you what I’d decided the moment I saw you on the threshold.’

Rhys twisted in his seat toward me. ‘And now?’

Aware of every breath, every movement, I sat in his lap. His hands gently braced my hips as I studied his face. ‘And now I want you to know, Rhysand, that I love you. I want you to know…’ His lips trembled, and I brushed away the tear that escaped down his cheek. ‘I want you to know,’ I whispered, ‘that I am broken and healing, but every piece of my heart belongs to you. And I am honored— _honored_ to be your mate.’” Ghoul paused, his voice catching, and Poison touched their cheek, finding tears beginning to flow. 

“I love you,” they whispered, pressing a soft kiss into his neck. “I hate that you doubt that but I do, and I intend to make sure that you never have any reason to doubt how much I love you.” They shifted so their face was level with his and brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen into his face. “I don’t want you to ever think that you aren’t loved, or that you’re not worthy of being loved.” They took his face in their hands, gently brushing away tears that had formed. “Because you are. You’re wonderful. You’re amazing. You’re sweet, and you’re funny, and you’re beautiful, and every time I see you it’s like I’m seeing you for the first time. And-” their voice got caught in their throat. “You should _never_ feel like I don’t love you. I do. I have and I will. And I would die before I stop loving you, because you deserve to be loved, and I can't fathom a world in which I don't. Because, Darling, we’re getting married now. I’m gonna be able to call you my husband. I am now and forever bound to you. And only you. I’m yours, I hope you know that. Ghoul, I know I’ve said it a thousand times now, but I love you. I love you so much, you are the love of my entire fucking life. From now until I die I want you and only you.” 

Ghoul choked back a sob and buried his face in their neck. They ran their fingers through his hair comfortingly, whispering sweet nothings as he shook. 

"I lo- I love you so much. I just want to be happy, I just want you, but I can't get his fucking words out of my head."

"I'm going to kill him," they muttered, pulling him closer. "This shouldn't be happening. You don't deserve this. Neither of us do. We've been through so much, I can't lose you. Not now." Their voice broke, and Ghoul sat up, caressing their face tenderly with shaking fingers.

“How can you still love me? I destroyed the things that meant the most to you in the world. You deserve so much better than me. Someone who will love you no matter what and won’t go doubting everything when one asshole opens his mouth.” 

“But I don’t want anyone but you. I will never want anyone but you. I love you, and I know you love me, so don’t you _fucking_ dare give up on yourself. It was just a few drawings, that’s all it was. Most of them weren’t even very good. They were never the most important things to me. They barely even ranked in the top ten. The top spot has always belonged to you and my brother. Losing you would mean losing a piece of myself. Sometimes you’re the only thing holding me together, I can’t let you give up. I said nothing in the world could stop me loving you, and I meant every. Single. Fucking. Word I said. Darling, I have never wanted someone—no, I have never _needed_ somebody so badly in my entire life. Everything I’ve ever done and everything I will ever do is purely out of love for you. Because I need you, Ghoulie. I need you.” They cradled his face, kissing his forehead gently. “You need to forgive yourself. You’re not doing anyone any good, you’re just hurting yourself. And I understand you need time, I’m willing to give you that, but you need to promise me you won’t dwell on this for longer than you have to.” Ghoul gave Poison a watery smile, then softly pressed his lips to theirs. They pulled him closer, pressing their chest to his. 

“I love you,” he whispered into their mouth, “more than anything. Please don’t ever leave me.” He pulled away and hugged them, pressing his face into their chest. Poison shifted so they were no longer leaning against the wall, and wrapped their arms around Ghoul, pressing a kiss to his head.

“Never, I would never leave you. I’m here for you. Always and forever.” Poison felt Ghoul hum in response as they drifted into unconsciousness.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this is another long chapter, and I'm sorry I have no update schedule but our writing is based mostly on how school is going for the both of us, but anyway,  
> Huge thanks to Ash for helping me with this, you're amazing  
> I hope you enjoy!

### Kobra

The day before they were set to leave, Kobra found Poison in the kitchen, sobbing as they sat huddled in a corner. Tears spilled out of their eyes, streaming down their face and into the mug of coffee they were clutching to their chest. Kobra rushed to their side, pulling the mug out of their shaking fingers before they dropped it.

“Poison, what’s wrong?” His voice was soft and comforting, and they looked up at him, their golden eyes full of pain. “Are you and Ghoul fighting again?”

“No, but- but he’s… Sandman said something and it’s fucking with his head. He- he’s doubting that I still love him after the fight and I think he’s… I think he’s pushing me away. I can’t lose him, Kobes.” They threw their arms around his neck and Kobra held them as they sobbed. “I can’t lose him. It would kill me."

"I'm sure you'll work it out, I've never seen two people love each other as much as you two do."

"But what if we don't? What if this is it?" They sounded so hopeless, it broke Kobra's heart. They clung to him desperately, eyes wild. "What if-" 

"Hey. Stop. You're just going to drive yourself crazy. I'll talk to Sandman, you need to talk to Ghoul, make sure you work this out. You will work it out. No force in this world could keep you two apart for long. Not even your own stupidity. Just hold on to hope and work through this." Kobra took hold of their shoulders in an effort to shake sense into them, but they just stared numbly past him. "Poison. Listen to me." Their eyes focused for a moment, and Kobra nearly slapped them so they would stay focused. "You're going to work this out. Don't give up on him. He'll come around." Poison nodded and began to clean off their face. “Are you okay?” They nodded again and Kobra pulled them into another hug. He squeezed their shoulder for a moment before leaving them to collect themselves and find Sandman. 

Kobra found Sandman sat on the counter while Jet changed his bandages. His face lit up when the taller boy walked in the room but quickly fell when he saw his expression. 

“What did you say to him?” Kobra’s voice was hard, angry. He stopped right in front of Sandman, the smaller boy’s face inches from his own.

“What? Who?”

“Ghoul. What did you say to him? I just found Poison sobbing in the kitchen. They said Ghoul was doubting their relationship because of something you said to him.” His eyes widened and he scrambled back a little before he spoke. 

“I may have pointed out how unlikely it was that they were still in love considering how bad the fight sounded?” Kobra stumbled back, running a had through his blond hair.

“Fucking hell, of course. Of _course_ you would say something like that.”

“Hey!” Sandman shouted defensively, “It didn’t seem like they were having issues after I said it! They seemed almost clingier than before!”

“You don’t _know them_! Of course they seemed clingier! When Ghoul’s insecure, he gets flirty and affectionate. What you’ve been seeing is their normal shit ramped up to about eleven!” Sandman had the decency to look apologetic, so Kobra calmed down a little bit. “You can’t really do much about it now, what’s done is done, so at this point the only one who could talk Ghoul out of this is Poison themself. But you really should apologize to both of them. They’ve been through hell recently, and unfortunately you’ve had a pretty big hand in that.” Sandman nodded, as if he were afraid to say anything else. “Don’t go right now, because I have a feeling that Poison is actually willing to kill you right now, but don’t just wait until you see them again. Their room is the first one on the left, so sometime before we leave tomorrow, go talk to them, and make sure you let Ghoul know you didn’t mean it. If they figure this out, I’m willing to forgive you, but if you’re the reason they break up I will personally hunt you down so Poison can gut you, do you hear me?” Sandman nodded again, and Kobra relaxed. “Good. I hope you’re feeling better?”

“Uhhhm… yeah, I think so. It doesn’t hurt to breathe anymore, so that’s definitely an improvement. Usually we’ve got painkillers and shit back home, so I’m not really used to actually feeling everything, which was probably why I was so bitchy the last few days. That and anxiety about my crew and going from at least two full meals a day down to a single can was probably not the best combination for being personable.” Kobra nodded slowly, a look of worry flashing across his features before he could hide it. "Yeah it's not really been the best last few days, but I got to see you, so that was good!" Sandman grinned and no matter how angry Kobra was at him earlier, he couldn't help but smile back. Despite everything that had happened, he still liked Sandman, and it didn't seem like those feelings would be going anywhere anytime soon. "Don't worry dear, I'll apologize to both of them just after nightfall."

"Whatever you say, love." A cough echoed from behind them and Kobra spun around, his breath quickening.

“I’m still here, you know,” Jet said, “I won’t tell anyone what’s going on here but you guys have to be careful. You’ve got to stop using those nicknames until everything cools down a bit.” Kobra sighed in relief and nodded.

“Thanks, Jet. I appreciate it.” 

“So what exactly is going on that I’m not telling Ghoul or Poison?” Kobra’s face heated and Jet grinned. He tried opening his mouth but no words came out, and he looked desperately to Sandman for help.

“We met at one of the racetracks out in Zone five?” He looked over at Kobra, who nodded, still unable to speak. “Yeah, Zone five. He pulled up on his fancy custom bike and there were all of these whispers around him, you should see it man, it’s insane, he’s famous! But anyway, he shows up, I’ve just won a race, people are talking to me and then it just goes fucking _silent_ . He walks up with this other guy who introduces us, and we go on this like, tangent of round after round of really childish insults, and the whole time I’m thinking, ‘shit, he’s cute.’ Then I called him ‘Dear,’ as a joke, and he fucking blushed, and it was like fucking fireworks. It was so fucking cute, then he fucking _slaughtered_ me in a race, and it was so fucking cool, but he sorta shut down afterward." Sandman was so animated, his eyes lit up and he was waving his hands around, occasionally pointing at Jet or Kobra as he spoke. 

"Then there was this huge acid rainstorm and we got stuck in this closet and Kobra's radio got broken and I had to keep him from panicking and he basically confessed his love to me once he calmed down enough." Kobra's face got even hotter. 

"Hey, I didn't- I didn't," He said hurriedly to Jet, "I said I might like him as more than a friend. And I do. He's cute and funny and," he turned to Sandman, who grinned, "I really _do_ like you. I like you a lot. It's just… all the stuff with Poison and Ghoul makes it so much harder."

"Well Dear, we've got all the time in the world." Sandman grinned and grabbed his hand. Kobra stiffened for a moment but then relaxed and smiled softly at him. "I think I should go apologize now." He slowly stood up, wincing slightly as his bandages shifted. He opened the doors to the back of the diner, then immediately backpedalled into a table, Ghoul close behind him. 

"Ghoul, Darling," Poison ran after him, "just, slow down." He stopped for a moment, and they nearly ran into him, then frantically grabbed onto his shirt as they tried to keep him from full-on tackling Sandman. "He's just now starting to recover, we can't afford to fuck him up again right before we meet up with his crew alright?" They tightened their grip, pulling his back to their chest and pressing a kiss to one of the tattoos below his ear. Ghoul softened, melting into their touch, and Kobra pulled Sandman off the floor. He dusted off his pants, then took another step back. 

"I just wanted to apologize. I know it's been... rough for you guys lately, and I didn't mean anything I said. I was tired and hungry and in pain, and I just want you guys to know I'm not usually like that, and I'm sorry." Sandman eyed the couple nervously as they digested his words. The silence stretched on for an uncomfortably long time, and Kobra fought the urge to cough and break it up. 

"Thank you," Poison said finally, rocking back and forth from foot to foot and pulling Ghoul with them.

“Listen. I get that your pansy ass isn’t used to desert life, but you’ve nearly ripped our relationship apart. Twice. And I’m so done with you acting like a douchebag, If you’re done, fantastic, but as of right now, don't talk to me.” He crossed his arms over his chest, then realized Poison’s arms were there and grabbed onto them instead. 

“We appreciate your apology, though,” Poison offered, and Ghoul huffed. “Oh, shush, it’s not going to kill you, Darling. I never said it was okay, but that we appreciate it.” Ghoul huffed again, and they kissed his cheek with a smile. “Love you.”

“Ok, so now that that’s sorted, can we figure out what we’re going to do about the drive to D’s? We can barely fit the four of us in there, much less five,” Jet said, sitting on top of the counter.

“I can ride my bike,” Kobra offered, “‘Cause I know Poison’ll want to drive, Ghoul’s obviously not leaving their side, Sandman’s not in any condition to be riding a motorbike, plus Jet’s gotta stay with him and make sure he doesn’t die.” Sandman blanched.

“You’re going to leave me in a car, with _them?_ I’ll be dead in five minutes! Ghoul’s after my head!” He gestured wildly, and Ghoul pounded a fist into his palm, a sarcastic snarl on his face. Poison snorted and buried their face in his neck, mumbling something Kobra couldn’t quite make out. 

“Hey, Kobra said it was my job to keep you alive, so I assume protecting you from those dorks is part of the deal.” Jet grinned from his perch on the counter, waving a hand flippantly at the lovers, who had taken seats on top of one of the remaining tables and were tangling their legs together, fingers woven together. “I guess that’s settled then, Poison’s driving, Ghoul’s got shotgun, Sandman and I will be in the back, and Kobra’s on his bike.”

“You sure you’re going to be okay on your bike?” Poison asked, their voice laced with concern.

“I’ll be fi-”

“Everyone calls him the best racer East of Bat City, he’ll be fuckin great, Poison, quit worrying,” Sandman laughed, then promptly shut up when he saw Ghoul’s face. “You know what, I think I’m going to cash in for the night, it's nearly dark and we’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

“You better fucking go!” Ghoul shouted after him, then opened his mouth again only to be interrupted by Poison kissing him. When they broke away, they tapped the tip of his nose and grinned.

“I love you Darling, but you can’t have the last word twice in one conversation. That’s not how it works.” He stuck out his lip.

“I can if I fucking want to!”

“Sure you can, Ghoulie.” They slid off the table, then grabbed Ghoul around the waist, hooking an arm under their knees and another behind their back, lifting him off the table. “We’re also going to tuck in, driving is _not fun_ when you haven't slept.” Ghoul wrapped his arms around their neck to stay upright and pressed a sloppy kiss to their cheek with a laugh. They kissed him quickly before making for their room.

Kobra and Jet sat in comfortable silence for a moment, enjoying each other’s company, before Jet yawned and he too, retired. Kobra went outside to watch the sun set, marvelling at the colors that streaked the sky. Every day he was blown away with the beauty the world held, and he wondered what it looked like before the Wars, when you could swim in the oceans and find myriads of life—plants and animals and a thousand other things coexisting, he wondered what trees looked like, real ones, in a forest, not the artificial bullshit they call trees in Bat City. They must have been beautiful, tall and strong, symbols of life and stability. He tried not to think about it, because it usually didn’t end well, but the world he lived in was just a shadow of its former glory, a dead shell of a planet once containing billions of people and millions of types of plants and animals. His world was broken, and chances were he wouldn’t live long enough to see it fixed. The sun at last dipped below the horizon and stars pierced the inky veil of the night, and Kobra went back inside, images of long dead creatures dancing through his mind.

### Ghoul

Over the past few days, Ghoul had tried to let himself be normal as possible. He tried to keep things regular, the way they always had been, and while he had no trouble around people (anything to see the look on Sandman’s face), when they were alone…. It was another story. And the other day when Poison had come to sit with him, uncomfortably staring, not making eye contact, he realized really what was going on. He was wearing Poison down, he could tell and it was terrible. He hated how much Sandman’s words had affected him, but he had slowly realized that it was more than just some teasing, but a vocalization of fears he had had for _years_. He had tried to repress them, but ever since he and Poison had got together, it had always seemed too good to be true, as if one day, Poison would realize they could do better than him and they would leave him for someone else. Heavy silence filled the room until Ghoul couldn’t take it anymore. 

“I’m so fucking sorry, Pois.” He threw his arms around them, and they pulled him close, running a hand through their hair. “I know this is hard on you, I- I just keep thinking that you’ll find someone else, and you’ll realize I’m not worth it, and you’ll leave me.”

“Ghoul,” their voice was full of pain, “Darling, we’ve talked about this. I’m never going to leave you. The Witch herself couldn’t make me leave you.” they kissed the top of his head and he could feel himself melting into them. They were so safe, something he could always come back to, or at least he hoped.

“You say that, but what if you meet someone and they can give you more than I ever could?” Ghoul could feel the tears leaking from his eyes now, staining Poison’s shirt. They paused for a moment before responding, and Ghoul’s heart stopped in his chest.

“Then I’d tell them to kindly fuck off, because I’ve got everything I could ever want right here, with you,” they laughed, and Ghoul smilled, rearranging himself so he could see their face. “Just accept the fact that I love you.I need you, more than I’ve ever needed anyone. I’m _marrying_ you, I don’t ever want to leave your side, nor do I want you to leave mine.” They cupped his face and he leaned into their touch, letting his eyes slide shut. They were getting married. _They_ were the one who proposed. They wouldn’t have done that if they didn’t mean it. Ghoul pressed a kiss to Poison’s lips, breathing in their scent.

“I won’t leave you. I promise.” Poison laid down and Ghoul rested his head on their chest, listening to their heartbeat. They began to hum a song, the same one they had sung right before they proposed. He fell asleep slowly to the vibrations in their chest.

“Come on, Darling, we’ve got to go.” Poison was sitting next to him, running their fingers through his hair, trying to get him to wake up.

“Fuck off,” Ghoul hummed, waving an arm around in the hopes it would hit them. “Wait no, don’t. I love you.”

“I love you too, but we have to get up. We’re going to D’s today, everyone’s already ready to go.” They grabbed his shoulder and pulled his face out of the one pillow they shared, brushing the hair out of his eyes and kissing his forehead. “I want to make sure we can say goodbye to Kobra before he leaves, he’s going to get extra supplies before heading to D’s.”

“Fine, just lemme… uh… grab some CDs for the trip.” Ghoul tried to stand, but somehow his legs had gotten tangled in the blankets, and he fell to the ground, narrowly avoiding breaking his nose on the linoleum floors. Cursing, he slowly pulled his feet out of the offending fabric and stood up. “Just gimme half a second, Prettyboy, I’m coming.” He grabbed a stack of the nearest CDs, the one with all of his and Poison’s favorite records, and checked all of the discs were inside before shoving them in a backpack he found in a corner. He slung the bag onto his back and returned to Poison’s side, kissing their cheek and wrapping his arm around their waist. “Let’s fucking do this.”

Kobra and Sandman sat on the counter, going over last minute details with Jet, who sat in a chair like a normal person. Ghoul took a look at the boys, then decided there was nothing stopping him from just sitting on the floor, so he did. Poison laughed then sat down beside him, tangling their legs in his and laying their head on his shoulder. 

“Ah good, Poison you know where D’s hideout is, right? It’s not marked on any of our maps.”

“Yeah, it’s out in Zone four and to the north a bit, shouldn’t take more than a few hours. If we leave at around noon we could get there before sundown. Kobra, you should leave soon if you’re going to grab extra stuff, I don’t want you out there after dark. I’ll mark it down on a map for you but you’ve gotta burn it after, we can’t risk anyone from BLI getting it.”

“Poison, chill out, you’re worrying too much. Kobra’ll be fine,” Sandman piped up, and Ghoul stiffened. Poison shot him a look that said _leave it_ , so Ghoul settled for glaring at the pink-haired boy and promising to give him hell in the car. Kobra started packing up his things, shoving some of the larger items in the back of the Trans Am, and placed the rest on his bike. Poison stood up and offered a hand to Ghoul, kissing him on the cheek before going to talk to Kobra. Ghoul hung back, watching the siblings as they talked for a moment, then hugged, and he waved to the blonde boy as he started up the bike. 

In the few hours remaining before they had to leave, they packed up the last of the stuff they were going to bring and made sure to hide the rest in case someone stopped by while they were gone. Ghoul hated putting Pansy inside the walls, but it was either that or worry about her being stolen by the first Tumbleweed to see her. He found Poison in the kitchen, trying to figure out where they could stash the spoons. He came up behind them and wrapped his arms around their middle, and they startled, almost dropping the silverware. 

“You seem happy,” they commented after a moment, “are you figuring things out?”

“Yeah.” Ghoul rested his forehead on the back of their neck. “I decided that you wouldn’t propose to me if you didn’t mean it, and that Sandman’s not really worth dwelling on at this point.” They hummed and covered one of his hands with their own.

"I think that's the last of it," they stuck some spoons behind the fridge and pulled out of Ghoul's grip, and he let out a soft whine. "Oh shush we'll be in the car together for hours. Did you get everything you need?"

"Yep, it's all already in the car."

"Fantastic." Poison gave him a quick kiss and started looking around for the keys. "Now where did I-" Ghoul held up the ring of keys, jangling them until Poison looked up. They snatched them out of his hand and kissed him again. "Thanks, Darling. Love you." They grabbed a bag sitting in a corner and laid their free arm across Ghoul's shoulders as they walked to the car. 

Sandman and Jet sat in the back, and the pink-haired boy looked ready to bolt at a moment's notice. Ghoul pressed a quick kiss to Poison's neck before climbing into the passenger seat. They slid in right after him, checking the mirrors and starting the car. 

Poison liked to keep their right hand on the stick so they could switch between gears fast in case something happened, and within the first five minutes Ghoul reached his hand over and weaved their fingers together. They looked over at him and grinned, leaning over to give him a peck on the che ek and causing the car to swerve a little. 

"Fucking hell you two! I know there's nothing around here but if we end up in the middle of nowhere because you can't keep driving in a straight line I will kill you." Sandman was gripping the handle on the door so tightly his knuckles were white. Ghoul glanced back at the terrified boy and chuckled.

"Relax, Sandy, Poison put a compass in the dashboard ages ago, we just have to keep heading east for about three hours until Zone four, then north for another two. As long as we stay on Guano for a while we should be good." Sandman looked so affronted at the nickname Ghoul had used that he vowed to only call him by that name for the rest of the car ride. He leaned over the center console and kissed Poison’s cheek before sifting through his backpack for the CDs. He pulled out the one that had been in the player when he grabbed it and put it in the slot, headbanging to the guitars when they picked up. Poison laughed and took their hand off the stick to ruffle his hair.

“I love this album,” Sandman called, and Jet shot him a look that said _you poor soul_ , as right in that moment the song came on. The guitar riff started and Poison’s face lit up, just as Ghoul knew it would. “Oh no.” Ghoul looked back at him and grinned wolfishly. 

“I always forget that this song is on here! It’s our song Darling!” They took their focus off the sand and gazed at him with those golden eyes that always made him melt. 

“That’s why I grabbed it Prettyboy, just for you.” He smiled widely at them and they pulled his face to theirs, kissing him for much longer than they should’ve considering they were driving, but Ghoul couldn’t find the motivation to tell them to stop. It was Sandman who made them part, he let out a shout after a few seconds and Ghoul opened his eyes to see the other boy once again gripping to the nearest object. This time it was Jet, who looked so completely done with the whole situation that Ghoul almost felt bad for him. Ghoul flipped him off and settled for shouting the lyrics of the song at peak volume, and Poison joined in, looking away from where they were going far too often, but Ghoul still couldn’t find the energy to care. He glanced back at Sandman to find him sunk in his seat and covering his ears. Jet looked like his soul had just left his body and was off doing something else while his physical form stared out the window.

Poison was more focused on the land in front of them now, but Ghoul couldn’t tear his eyes off of them as they sang their heart out. The afternoon sun filtered in from the windows and reflected off the sand, making their hair look like flames as it blew in the wind, and their golden eyes glowed with affection and exhilaration when they looked at him. If someone had asked him five years ago if he thought he would ever fall in love, he would’ve called them insane, but here he was, head over heels for the person next to him, and the best part was they loved him back. They were getting married. He had to keep reminding himself that, each time making sure it wasn’t an elaborate dream, but the blue beads on his wrist were cool and heavy, a reminder of their promise. They looked over at him again and he pulled them in by the front of their shirt and pressed his lips to theirs. Sandman groaned and he used his free hand to flip him off again.

Poison pulled away first, and Ghoul was half tempted to pull them back in again, but then he remembered they had to drive, so he settled for tapping their nose and pushing them back into their seat. They drove for miles, belting out the words to the songs they all knew by heart. Occasionally, either Poison or Ghoul would stop just long enough to take a breath and kiss the other. Every time, Sandman would make a noise of dissent, and every time Ghoul would make a remark to Poison as if the other boy wasn’t there.

“Would you mind not making out in the middle of the highway? I’ve tried rather hard to stay alive until now and I’d hate for my streak to be ruined because you won’t stop sucking face.” Sandman’s voice was tired, they had been in the car for just over three hours now and Ghoul could tell he was worn out. 

“Hey Pois?” Ghoul glanced over at them and they gave a soft hum in response. “How much longer do you think we have until we get there?” 

“Shouldn’t be much longer than an hour. Why?” Ghoul shrugged.

“Just getting a little stir-crazy is all.” They nodded and pulled off the road, parking the Trans Am about thirty yards off the concrete. 

“I think we could all use a chance to stretch our legs. Plus I have to refill the gas tank a bit before we run out.” They pressed a kiss to his cheek and climbed out of the car, stretching as they went to grab the gas cans in the trunk. Ghoul followed closely, shaking feeling back into his legs before he pulled Poison into a proper kiss. He hooked his thumbs in their belt loops and relished the feeling of their deft fingers on his face and in his hair. He heard footsteps come from the side of the car, stop, and go in the other direction, accompanied by a groan that Ghoul now recognized as Sandman’s. He pulled away for breath and Poison played with his hair as he ran his fingers down their arms. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” he whispered, and they smiled. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed _this_.” Poison stroked his cheek and kissed him softly.

“I missed you too, but we’re here. We’re together. Let’s just enjoy this moment, okay?” Ghoul nodded and they kissed him again. Their lips were chapped and their hands were rough with callouses, but he wouldn’t trade those lips or those hands for anything, because they belonged to Poison. Poison, who fainted at the sight of blood yet always cleaned his cuts when he got hurt. Poison, who sang him back to sleep when the nightmares became too much and he woke up screaming. Poison, who Ghoul loved more than he could put into words, who made the dark moments light and the sad moments more bearable, who he couldn’t fathom living without.

“I love you. I know we say it a lot and it may not be as special anymore, but I love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts. I don’t know how to describe it, you’re like some vital piece of me that was missing, and now that I’ve found you I can’t live without you. I know I haven’t been the world’s best boyfri-shit fiance, we’re engaged holy fuck. We’re getting married!” Ghoul grinned and kissed them again before continuing, “Anyway, I know I haven’t been the best _fiance_ lately, but you were so amazing, you stayed with me and helped me through my shit and I can’t thank you enough for that. I wish all of this was happening at a better time so we could just be happy and enjoy ourselves without the pressure of this rescue mission hanging over our heads, because all I want to do right now is go home and just live with you and know that our wedding is coming up, and hell I know there’s not much we can plan for, but I want to plan our wedding. I just want to be around you for a while.” Poison smiled and ran their thumb over his cheek, gazing at him lovingly. 

“I wish the wars had never happened. I wish we could have lived in a world where we don’t have to worry about Dracs or BLI or any of this. I wish we could’ve lived normal fucking lives, gone to school and gotten jobs, and shit, maybe even had a dog.”

“As amazing as that would be—for the wars to never have happened—I don’t know if we would have met. They technically brought us together. As much as I would like to think we’d always find each other, I don’t think that would’ve happened without them. I would love to live with you, the way the world was before, but… But because of those wars, we have each other.” Ghoul grabbed Poison’s hand and played with the beads on their wrist. “I know this sucks. I hate going through every day scared I could lose you. But at least we have this time together.” They brought Ghoul’s hand to their mouth and kissed it softly. 

“Destroya, I can’t wait to marry you,” they whispered, pulling him in for another kiss. Ghoul wrapped his arms around their waist, pulling them closer as he stepped back into the side of the Trans Am. Poison threaded their fingers through his hair, tugging on the strands as they slid through their grasp. Ghoul inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of sweat and paint that lingered on their skin.

Breaking the kiss briefly with his eyes just barely open as he stared at Poison’s slightly parted lips, Ghoul whispered into their mouth, “You sure you’re okay, beautiful?” 

Poison’s lips turned slightly upward as they stood, their eyes still closed. “I’m always okay when it’s you, Darling.” At that, he put his hand on the smooth metal behind him and pulled himself up so he was sitting on the car. He brought his hands down to Poison’s hips and wrapped his legs around their waist. His fingertips had just found their way under their shirt when he heard someone clear their throat to his left. 

“So Poison, I filled up the gas since you were uhm… _occupied_ , and I think Sandman and I both would like to get to D’s before the sun sets,” Jet said once Poison had separated themself sufficiently from Ghoul, who let out a whine. 

“Right. Sorry. Just a moment.” Jet nodded and got back in the car, and Ghoul made to slide off, but Poison pressed their face to his again, gripping his face roughly. He pulled them back in just as they stepped away, sliding into the driver’s seat and leaving Ghoul starstruck on the back.

He got in the passenger’s side wordlessly, mouth slightly agape. Poison glanced over at him and smirked, and he stuck out his tongue. They twisted the key in the ignition and the Trans Am roared to life, music already blaring from its speakers as they gunned the engine.

“We’re going off Guano now so I have to actually pay attention to where I’m going Darling,” they said when Ghoul started playing with their hair.

“Oh come _on!_ You can’t just kiss me like _that_ and then decide to not touch me!” His voice was whiny, even he could tell, and he almost flinched at how childish it sounded, but he persisted. All or nothing. “Fuck, has it always been this hot? Like, I knew it was warm ‘cause we’re in a desert, but _fuck me_ , I’m dying!”

“You _are_ wearing a dark vest over a black shirt, Ghoul, it’s bound to get hot sometimes,” Poison said, “It’s probably not helping that your hair is also black.” 

Ghoul groaned dramatically, leaning his head back before glancing back behind him, Jet was absently staring out a window and Sandman looked as if he were about to stab someone. So he grinned as he looked back at Poison, ready to piss Sandman off all over again. “We’re getting rid of Sandy boy soon, right? I’m kinda getting fucking sick of that guy, thinking he’s got the right to fuck up everything. I mean what kind of douchebag waltzes into someone’s life and immediately goes, ‘Hey, what can I do to make their life a living hell?’” Poison chuckled softly, nobody else verbally responded, which was not what Ghoul was going for. “Like we knew he was an asshole but not to this _extent_. I just can’t fucking stand him, can’t wait for him to be gone for good. This guy completely fucked us over like twice now, keeping him around any longer wo--”

“Ghoul. Would you _please_ , for the love of all that is good in this world, shut the _fuck_ up,” Jet snapped, throwing his hands in the air. “You’ve been bitching and moaning all week and I’m fucking sick of it. I know Sandman’s caused some issues but it’s not exactly been a walk in the park for him either, just leave him alone for a minute or fuck’s sake.” Ghoul opened his mouth and turned around in his seat to defend himself but Jet glared at him and his mouth snapped shut. “Don’t even try it. We’ve got two more hours left. Please just cut it with your bullshit.” Ghoul sat back down heavily in his seat, staring awkwardly out the window. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence he grabbed Poison’s hand. They smiled at him and squeezed his hand, and some of the twisting in his stomach settled down. He pulled out one of the books he had grabbed before they left. Opening to the spot he left off on with his free hand, the other still holding onto Poison, he decided it would be best for him to just read for the rest of the drive.

Kobra was already at D’s when they pulled up, his bike was parked to the side of the side of the old building and he sat on the porch with Show Pony, who had set their helmet on the railing. Sandman practically dove out of the car as soon as Poison parked it, he wrenched open the door and was already halfway to where Kobra and Pony sat before Ghoul had even gotten a leg out. Ghoul put his book back in his backpack, careful not to bend any of the pages. Jet got out just after Sandman, stretching his legs and running his hands through his hair. Poison waited for Ghoul outside the passenger door and kissed his cheek before going to grab the stuff they had brought. Dr. Death Defying had somehow managed to set up camp in one of the largest buildings still standing and not get caught. Just after the wars had ended he had found an old three storey farmhouse and set up shop. Since his wheelchair couldn’t get up the stairs to the upper two floors, Joys and Tumbleweeds would stop by and make sure it was still livable, cleaning out the spiders and whatnot. The upstairs was where guests stayed if they needed to drop off the radar for a while, and where Ghoul and Poison dropped off their bags. 

Ghoul had held his partner’s hand for the rest of the car ride, and took it again now that they both weren’t carrying bags. He didn’t want to say it aloud, but Jet’s snapping had gotten to him. Some of that worry was starting to creep back into his mind. Trying to shake the offending thoughts from his mind, Ghoul pulled Poison in for a kiss. They wrapped their arms around his neck and pulled him closer, and Ghoul was almost tempted to dip them just to see how they’d react. He wrapped an arm around their waist and the other around their shoulders and leaned forward. He felt Poison’s eyebrows shoot up for a moment but they figured out what was going on and helped balance themself out. Their faces parted for a moment so they could breathe and Ghoul opened his eyes to see Poison’s golden ones sparkling up at him. They grinned breathlessly and pulled his face back down to theirs. He held them like that for a moment before he slowly pulled them back up, carefully adjusting his grip so they wouldn’t fall. 

"What was that for?" They asked, laughter creeping in at the edges of their words. 

"I love you," he said simply. "Fuck, I love you. I love you more than the stars and the sun and the sand. I don't care what happens on this run or after, I love you." He kissed them again and they picked him up and spun around. 

"You guys are so cute." Ghoul and Poison spun around to find Show Pony standing in the doorway with a Polaroid, grinning. "Here. I got this, I figured you'd want it." They held out a picture, and as it developed Poison squeaked and pulled it out of their hand. Pony had managed to capture the exact moment Ghoul had dipped Poison, their arms around his neck as they kissed. Ghoul held the photograph with them and smiled, pressing a kiss to their cheek. A snap echoed through the room and Pony giggled. "You'll want this one too, I imagine? " They held out the other picture, and Ghoul took it.

"Thanks Pony," he said, and they nodded before turning and going off to hassle Jet about something. Ghoul turned back to Poison and smiled.

"You look so cute in this one," they said, pointing to the picture he was holding. "Your face is all scrunched up, it's adorable." Ghoul stuck out his tongue and they laughed, kissing him again. "We should probably head downstairs though, there's still time before the sun sets to start planning."

"Do we have to? They've got _beds_ here, Pois, actual _beds_ ," he whined, trying to drag them over to said furniture. They sighed and pulled on his arm, wrapping their arms around his waist when he got in reach. They tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear and smiled softly. "I just want to cuddle with you," he groaned and their smile grew. 

"I know Darling, so do I, but we're here to get a job done. We can come back up in like an hour or two okay?” Ghoul groaned and went limp in their arms, sliding a ways to the floor before they caught him. They laughed and pulled him back up to his feet, planting a kiss on his mouth once he stopped hanging off of them. “I adore you,” they whispered when he stuck their tongue out at him. They grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hallway to the stairs, stopping after a second to pull him closer and wrap an arm around his waist. In that moment, however, Cherri sprinted past the stairwell, pusing for half a second to shout up at them.

“GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER A PATROL’S ON ITS WAY!” 

### Sandman

Sandman needed to get out of this car. Ever since Jet had snapped at Ghoul, with good reason in his opinion, the other boy’s endless complaining was starting to piss him off too, the car had been plunged into stony silence, but apparently even that couldn’t stop Poison and Ghoul from being completely and disgustingly in love. As soon as the car stopped moving, he threw himself out of it and ran to find his crew, pausing for a second to pet Kobra’s hair. 

The Youngbloods were gathered in what could have once been called a living room, furnished with couches and a small table. Benze and Beauty sat on one couch, chatting about something, and Psycho sat on the other, his legs hung over one of the arms of the couch and his arms clinging to the other, occasionally making a remark. Sandman stood in the doorway for a moment, watching his family joke and having fun for a moment before they noticed him. Benze glanced in his direction and froze right in the middle of a word, and before Sandman knew it the shorter boy was in front of him and throwing his arms around his neck. He stood frozen for a minute, then hugged him back fiercely, and felt Beauty and Psycho join as well, and Sandman could already feel the stress of the past few days beginning to melt away. 

“So what’ve you guys been up to?” He asked once everyone was sitting on the couch again. Benze looked at him like he was crazy and opened his mouth, but Psycho spoke up first.

“Dude, we thought you were _dead_ ! We didn’t really do much at all until you radioed us, thanks for taking so long with that, by the way, really nice to worry about you for three days straight. But anyway, _then_ we spent three days worrying about whether or not those Killjoys were taking proper care of you and that you were healing up alright.” He paused to take a breath, “ _Then_ , we didn’t know when you guys would come and-”

“I think he gets the idea, Psycho,” Benze said quickly, turning back to Sandman, “What he said. Lots of worrying about you. That’s pretty much all there is to tell. What about you? What even happened that led to you getting shot?” Sandman inhaled sharply, leaning back into the couch heavily.

“Okay so, after I got absolutely crushed by Kobra last week I decided I should get better at sand racing, so I took that bike I found out and just started driving around, getting used to the way it felt and everything, but I ran into a drac patrol, and I managed to get rid of ‘em but not before one got me in the gut. So I stumbled around for about five minutes until I found this car, and Poison and Ghoul, well actually just Poison, Ghoul had some sort of… something? A breakdown? I dunno. But anyway Poison helped me get to their car but Ghoul got really fuckin’ mad, like, _really mad_. And wouldn’t talk to them the entire time, which I’m honestly surprised didn’t kill them both considering how they’ve been since they made up. Anyway we got to the diner the Four live in and Jet and Kobra are there, and Jet patches me up, he’s a great medic guys, don’t worry, and Ghoul just storms off, and Poison looks like they’re about to fucking shatter, and them and Kobra go talk or something and I can’t hear much but they’re definitely crying, and then Ghoul must’ve walked in on them because at this point I heard a bunch of yelling.” He paused for a second and looked over at Benze. 

“Is there any way I could get some water? I’m fucking thirsty man.” Beauty tossed him a water bottle and he drank about half in one go. “Thanks. After that Kobra comes back and we talk for a little bit and I- _fuck,_ you guys, I think I’m falling in love with him. And he thinks he is too. But we can’t be together because Poison and Ghoul practically hate me now for nearly ruining their relationship. Twice. The first time was an accident, just bad timing and repressed childhood memories, but the second time kinda was my fault. I said some stuff that I really had no business saying, and it definitely strained their relationship, but it’s all good now, they’re engaged to be married as soon as all of this is done. But yeah, basically it was just me and Ghoul pissing each other off and talking to Kobra.” Sandman had been waving his arms around as he spoke, and at some point had stood up, but now that he was done speaking the blood rushed to his head and he fell back onto the couch, finishing the rest of the water.

“Holy shit.” Psycho, who had been sitting upside down with his legs against the wall and his head hanging off the edge of the seat, sat up, eyes wide. “We should let you get almost killed more often, maybe you’ll actually get the guy next time.” Sandman laughed and threw the now empty water bottle at his face, and he just managed to bat it away before it hit his nose. He heard a yell echo through the house, and his laughter died. A man with brown hair in a green vest burst into the room. 

“Hey Cherri, wh-”

“Dracs. We’re in the kitchen.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking exhausted, before nearly sprinting back the way he had come, and Sandman looked at his crew where they sat, frozen in shock, until Benze stood up and followed him, grabbing his ray gun off the table. The rest followed him.

The killjoys were gathered in the kitchen, pulling on gloves and masks without a word. Sandman found his eyes drawn immediately to Kobra, leaning against the counter with his bandana over his mouth and grim determination in his eyes. It was astounding, the difference in each of their mannerisms as they prepared for the fight. When he had first met Poison, Sandman couldn’t believe that this was the person everyone in BLI was either terrified of or hated, that this was the person everyone looked up to as the leader of the rebellion. They had been so broken, clinging to Ghoul like a lost puppy, but now their face was set and a fire had been lit in their eyes. They stood taller, their shoulders set back and their feet set firmly on the ground, and Sandman could see it. It wasn’t immediately apparent in them, or in Ghoul or Jet or Kobra, but he could see it. Something about them had changed, some sort of armor had been put on, and Sandman found himself almost scared of them and the energy they filled the room with. Poison and Ghoul were terrifying, weapons of mass destruction waiting to be unleashed, but Kobra was almost beautiful, an angel of death. His lanky body, which had always seemed almost too big for him, now seemed almost too small as he nodded at his sibling and friends. Sandman met his eyes and his breath caught in his chest. 

Kobra pushed himself off the counter, his face unreadable as he pulled down his bandana. The taller boy started walking toward him and his heart nearly stopped. He stopped in front of Sandman and the silence in the room somehow got heavier, as if the whole world were holding its breath until Kobra’s face softened. He reached up a gloved hand and ran his fingers down Sandman’s face, then grabbed the collar of his jacket and smashed their lips together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment I love feedback!  
> the next chapter is planned out and we're starting it tonight, so expect an update sooner than later


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long chapter, I hope you enjoy  
> Huge thanks again to Ash for helping me write this and come up with ideas when I'm stuck!
> 
> Just a warning there is mention of quite a bit of blood in this chapter, so if that bothers you just be aware that it starts pretty soon after the POV switch

Part 7

###  Kobra

Kobra couldn’t focus. The only thing certain at that moment was that he was kissing Sandman, and Sandman was kissing back. His lips were soft, and Kobra could feel the smile beginning to form as they slowly parted. Sandman was beaming, his mocha eyes practically glowing. Kobra grinned and the shorter man grabbed his neck and pulled him back down, holding the kiss for longer this time, until Cherri coughed to remind them of why they were all gathered in the kitchen in the first place. Kobra ran his fingers down Sandman’s cheek one more time before stepping back and steeling himself for the fight once more. Sandman stood frozen until one of his crew members, who was somehow even shorter than Sandman, shook him out of his stupor. He shook his head, and Kobra let a small smile slip through the walls he had put up. 

“Okay, if you two wouldn’t mind,” Cherri said, tapping his foot and glancing out the windows anxiously, “We’ve got at least four patrol vans and what looks to be a car driven by BLI’s head Exterminator, Korse, about to come and try to kill us all. I don’t know how they found out where we are, but even if we do manage to ghost all of ‘em, they’ll still know where we are, so we’ll have to relocate within the next few days.”

“Fuck,” Ghoul said, and all eyes turned to the dark haired boy as he tinkered with one of his bombs, “I was looking forward to not sleeping on the floor for once.” Poison smiled down at him and started pulling their hair up into a braid.

“Ghoul, Darling, not now. He said within a few days, we’ll get at least one night here.” He huffed and they paused in their braiding for a moment to press a quick kiss to his cheek. 

“As I was saying,” Cherri continued, with a glare in Ghoul’s direction, “be careful. If you get seriously hurt we can’t risk A. Moving you and B. staying here for too long. Stay safe, don’t let them hit you, and whatever you do, don’t get captured.” Everyone nodded, making final adjustments on their masks before filing outside. 

The roar of engines could be heard, and though they still sounded far away, it made Kobra uneasy. He looked to his left and saw Poison and Ghoul embracing as if it might be their last, Ghoul’s face buried in their neck and theirs in his hair as they clung to each other. Jet was doing final checks on his gun, making sure the sights were lined up and he had enough battery packs. Sandman was directly to his right, and the rest of his crew, Kobra still didn’t know their names, beyond him. Sandman glanced at Kobra and smiled, taking his hand. 

The patrol filanny entered his view. Four white vans and a black car, just as Cherri had said. The car stopped about 40 yards away, and a man got out, tall and bald, clad in dark clothing. Kobra looked back and Sandman and squeezed his hand, then grabbed his gun and held it steady on the man. The white vans unloaded their cargo, twenty dracs in total. Kobra switched his blaster from stun to kill. 

“So.” The man’s voice was rough, laced with arrogance and venom. “The desert rats have finally come out to play.” 

“Oh, is that what we’re here for? Well in that case I may just go home. Not really in the mood for games right now.” Poison matched his tone easily, their golden eyes flashing behind their mask. To their left, Ghoul snorted and punched Jet’s shoulder playfully, then gestured back to his fiance with vigor. Poison sighed. “Well I suppose since we’re all already here, we may as well do something, Sugar.” They glanced at Ghoul. “What do you think, Darling, shall we play a game?” Ghoul started bouncing on the balls of his feet, and Kobra could picture the grin spreading across his face underneath his mask.

“Oh hell yeah, Gorgeous.” He pulled something small and rectangular out of his pocket. A detonator. Kobra had no idea when he’d had the time to place bombs, but apparently he had. Ghoul activated the detonator and several explosions erupted at once, nearly knocking Kobra off his feet. The Dracs weren’t so lucky. Several of them had been caught in the blast and lay inert in the sand, and three of the vans had been completely destroyed. The rest of the Dracs and the Exterminator had been knocked to the ground, and the killjoys scattered and took cover. The Juvies, in a state of shock, hesitated for a moment, but Kobra grabbed Sandman and the short one and dragged them behind an old truck parked near the house. The other two Juvies followed, snapped out of their stupor by the start of the laserfire.

Shots rang out, black scorch marks began to litter the side of the old farmhouse. Kobra brushed away hair that had fallen into his face and stood up, firing off three shots before ducking behind the truck again. 

“Are you going to help or what,” he yelled over the gunfire through gritted teeth, “There’s about a dozen left, plus that guy!” The shorter Juvie still looked shell shocked, his eyes wide and his hands shaking. Sandman rested a hand on his shoulder and he grabbed onto it, his knuckles going white almost immediately. That was two of them down for the count. The other two looked at the short one with concern for a moment, but Sandman waved them off.

“You’ll be okay, Benze, it’ll be over soon.” Sandman’s voice was soothing, and the smaller boy—Benze—calmed down a little, but not enough to be able to help. Sandman looked over at the other two. “Help Kobra. I’ve got Benze.” They nodded and mimicked Kobra’s actions, popping up just long enough to fire off a few shots, then dropping to the sand again. 

Before long, it was just the Exterminator and one Drac. The Drac soon fell to Jet’s shot, and Kobra could hear the Exterminator pacing. Steeling his nerves, he stood up and fired. 

Pain bloomed in his chest. 

Stars filled his vision and he tried to blink them away. Why was he lying down? He blinked again and Sandman and Poison’s faces filled his rapidly fading vision. A moment later Sandman was gone. Hands grabbed his face, and all he could see was bright red, which gradually faded into black.

###  Poison 

Poison watched the beam hit Kobra’s chest, watched their little brother fall to the sand, blood beginning to stream from where he had been hit. They heard their own scream as if it were miles away. They stood up, not caring that the Exterminator was still there, and rushed to his side. They dropped to their knees, ignoring the sharp pain in their shoulder. Sandman was already there, tearing off his jacket and pressing it to Kobra’s chest in an effort to stop the bleeding. Kobra’s eyes blinked open for a second, cloudy and dazed. They focused for a second but then slid shut again. Poison glanced over at Sandman and made a sound that could’ve been a snarl before pressing their own hands to Sandman’s bloodied jacket, trying to avoid thinking about the way Kobra’s breath was catching in his chest. His eyes opened once more, the irises nearly half rolled into his head, even more dazed than before. Sandman came back slowly and took Kobra’s face in his hands, but Poison smacked him away, letting lose a string of curses so foul that even Ghoul got concerned as he ran to Poison’s side. The pain in their shoulder came back into focus as Ghoul tenderly grabbed them and pulled them away.

"Come on, Beautiful, you're hurt, the Crow left, you've got to get help." Ghoul was holding onto their shoulders but they pulled out of his grip and returned to his brother. "Poison. Come on, you're bleeding. A lot. I can't let you do this to yourself. You can't help him if you're unconscious from blood loss." They shook him off again, but their vision was starting to fade, blurred around the edges.

"No, no I can't leave him. Where's Jet? He knows how to help, he's got to fix him. We need to fix him, we have-" their breath caught and Ghoul pulled them to his chest, careful to avoid the hole in their shoulder. 

"Are any of you a medic?" The shortest of the Juvies raised his hand, and Ghoul moved aside to let him work on Kobra. 

“We need to get him inside, keep the sand out of his wound,” he said, then gestured to Poison, “Theirs too. We want to avoid infection at all costs.” Ghoul nodded and pulled Poison to their feet. Their knees buckled at first, but they caught themself, and Ghoul practically held them up as he walked them inside to the kitchen. Jet gently picked up Kobra, and the short boy directed him, telling him to set the unconscious boy on the counter. Ghoul helped Poison sit down, and gently pulled off their jacket to get a better look at the hole. Jet came over to check them out, but they waved him away.

“Kobra. Help Kobra.” They tried to stand and help as well, but blood was flowing quickly from their shoulder, and Ghoul just managed to catch them before they collapsed. Stars danced across their vision as they sat down again. They tried to focus on what was going on across the room, but their vision blurred then went white as Jet started to clean it, the alcohol causing their entire left side to go numb from pain.

“I know it hurts, I know, but you’ve got to take care of yourself.” Ghoul was next to them, holding their hand and gently stroking their face. “Just focus on me. Focus on my voice. Kobra’s going to be okay. The Juvie’s got him. He says it wasn’t too deep, he’ll be fine.” Poison groaned and rested their sweat-soaked forehead on Ghoul’s shoulder, trying to block out the pain burning in their shoulder and the blood running down their arm. The red fluid had soaked into their shirt and was dripping from their fingers, and their stomach turned uncomfortably as their breath quickened. Ghoul continued to whisper to them, his tone soft and warm. 

“They’re going to need stitches, it’s bad.” Jet paused for a moment, and Poison sighed as the pain subsided for a moment, only to let out a shriek as they felt the needle pierce their skin. They buried their face into Ghoul’s shoulder, feeling tears flow from their eyes onto their lover’s jacket. They were shaking rapidly and Ghoul pressed a soft kiss to their head, trying desperately to comfort them. They brought up their head to meet Ghoul’s eyes, in a desperate attempt to distract themself from the cold metal weaving through their flesh.

“Where’s Kobra?” they croaked, wiping watery eyes, feeling Ghoul’s grip on their arm, so tight it left marks. He lifted a hand and pushed the hair out of their face. 

“He’s over there. But you need to focus on yourself right now. You’ve lost a lot of blood, you’re close to passing out. Just stay here, let yourself rest.” Jet pushed the needle in again, and they screwed their eyes shut, stifling a sob. Ghoul kissed their forehead, gently cupping their face with his free hand. “You’re okay… you’re okay,” he whispered comfortingly, his voice managing to still them slightly. “Here, listen to my voice. I’ll keep talking, just listen to my voice.” Poison leaned into his touch and their eyes slid shut as they listened to him talk. “Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll patch you up and you’ll be fine, and Kobra’ll be up in a few days. I’ll be here the whole time. You’ll get better and we’ll do this run, and then we’re getting married. We’ll be happy. You’ll draw and I’ll play my guitar and we’ll be happy. Just stay with me okay?” He looked up for a moment and talked to someone else. “Hey, you with the tattoos. What’s your name?” There was a pause as the person said something Poison couldn’t quite make out. “American Beauty. Okay. Can you run upstairs to the second room on the left and grab one of the books in the blue backpack?” Another pause. “Thanks.” Ghoul turned back to Poison and kissed their cheek just as Jet finished with the last stitch. They hissed as Jet started to clean the wound again. 

Their arm was covered in blood, and it had created a puddle on the floor. They shifted slightly so they couldn’t see it and cried out as the stitches pulled, tears welling up in their eyes. The blood on their shirt had dried, and it cracked and began to flake off. 

“I’m going to take off your shirt okay?” Ghoul let go of Poison’s hand and started to lift their shirt over their head. “It's completely soaked through with blood. You’ll feel a little better once it’s off, but it’s going to hurt.” They nodded and pulled their good arm through the sleeve. When Ghoul reached their bad shoulder, he started to sing one of the songs he brought with him. They winced and let out a whine as the fabric brushed near the tender area, digging their fingers into Ghoul’s arm. When the shirt was finally off, they pressed their face back into his neck, and he must’ve gotten the book from that Juvie, as he started to read. They had trouble focusing on his words and what exactly he said, but his tone was animated, and at the end of every sentence he would pause and press a kiss to the side of their head and murmur “It’s almost over. You’re doing great.”

“I love you,” they said into his neck, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” Ghoul rubbed Poison’s good arm as Jet finished up, their shaking finally stopping completely.

“See, it’s okay now. You’re done,” he said softly, his hand drifting into Poison’s hair. “I love you too.” The pain was still very much there, but Poison managed to force themself to lift their head, holding their hands on Ghoul’s arm to steady themself as they stood up.

“Kobra,” they said, their voice shakily. “Is he okay?” Ghoul rubbed Poison’s good arm as Jet finished up, taping some clean bandages over the stitches, and their shaking finally stopping completely.

“He’s going to be fine,” the short Juvie cleaned off his hands and ran his fingers through his hair. “He’ll have minor scarring, but beyond that no long term issues. Try and keep him from moving around too much for a while, though.” Poison nodded and pulled a chair over to Kobra’s side, forcing back the dizziness that clouded their eyes. They looked at their brother who seemed so small and weak in that moment, their breath catching in their throat as they looked at him, absent-mindetly running a finger across the stitches on their arm, wincing as they pressed too hard on one. 

Poison ran fingers through their hair as they brought their glance higher, noticing Sandman sitting near Kobra. Their mouth twisted from anger and their eyes narrowed as they stared at him. “Get the fuck away from my baby brother,” they hissed, a protective hand hovering over Kobra’s torso.

Sandman’s head shot up, the venom in Poison’s words hitting him right in the face. He even had the audacity to look hurt as if Poison was betraying him with their words. But they owed him nothing, despite their wanting to keep everything as mellow and calm as possible, at this moment the idea of seeing the Juvie anywhere near their little brother made them want to scream. Sandman slowly got out of his chair, still wearing that hurt expression, and Poison sat down in theirs, staring him down. The shorter Juvie, they still didn't know his name, opened his mouth, presumably to defend Sandman, but Poison glared at him and he slowly backed away, grabbing Sandman’s arm and taking the pink-haired man with him. Ghoul took his place, and Poison grabbed his hand again, tracing the raised patterns of his tattoos.

“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” they said, smiling softly. Poison heard Ghoul’s quiet sigh as they rested their head against his, the partners wearily sitting against each other. Ghoul pressed both his hands overtop of Poison’s and clutched them lightly.

“I’m here, gorgeous,” Ghoul murmured, his voice was soft and tired. Poison could tell he was tired, that he was staying awake for them and as badly as they wanted to tell him to go to sleep, the comfort from having him there was keeping them sane. They brought their good hand up to his cheek, their cold fingers tracing his jaw and cheekbone, and he flinched, a hiss escaping from between his lips. They immediately withdrew their hand.

"Are you hurt?" Poison took hold of his face again, turning his head gently so the light hit it. Hundreds of old scars littered his face and neck, but it was the angry burn that ran along his cheek that caught their attention. "You are! Why didn't you tell me? How did I not notice?" 

"You were losing blood, you could've died. A little burn is nothing, I couldn't lose you." 

Poison shook their head, eyes darting around Ghoul’s face and body to look for any more injuries. “Fuck, I'm such a bad partner… You got  _ hurt!  _ You coulda gotten hit, you coulda gotten killed and I didn't notice, I can't believe I let this happen to you. I-”

“Poison.” Ghoul’s voice was assertive as he held Poison out to look at them. “You're spiraling. Hey, look at me, I’m okay. Of course you weren't focused on me, you got shot and so did your brother. It's okay, beautiful.” They gave him a watery smile and he kissed them softly. “Although now that you mention it, it does sting a little.” Poison started to move toward the medkit but Ghoul grabbed their shoulders and forced them to sit. “No, I’ve got this, you’ve lost a lot of blood. Just rest. I’ll get the ointment.” He started rifling through the medkit but stopped after a second and turned around. “Oh, and for the record, you’re the best partner I could ever hope for.” He smiled at them and it was the sweetest smile they had ever seen, bright and happy and full of love.

“I love you, Darling.” They pulled their legs to their chest and rested their chin on their knees, a smile growing on their face. “You’re the best fiance I could ever imagine.” He came back and kissed them again, slower this time, then sat down and pulled his chair closer to them. Ghoul held out a tub of aloe and a glass of water, which Poison gladly took. The burn was pretty clean, so they just scooped out some aloe and dabbed gently at it with one hand, and he grabbed their free one, gripping it tightly. Once they finished, they scraped the rest of the aloe back into the jar and kissed the tip of his nose.

“I couldn’t really find any gauze that would fit, so I guess I’ll just have to take my chances and hope nothing too bad gets into it,” Ghoul said, fiddling with Poison’s fingers. “ _ You _ , on the other hand, should get some rest. I’ll get Jet to put Kobra in their room, and you need to lay down. There are actual beds here, remember, we should take advantage of that.” Poison raised an eyebrow suggestively, and Ghoul’s face went as red as their hair.

“Listen, if you’re gonna fuck please just leave,” Sandman huffed from the corner, still keeping a watchful eye on Kobra. 

“Oh, I dunno. I’m pretty comfortable here,” he shot back, and Poison grabbed his arm, gently tugging him onto their lap.

“I think these chairs are a bit uncomfortable, Darling. The floor maybe?” Poison played with the neckline of Ghoul’s shirt, and he ran a lazy finger down their bare chest. Sandman stared at them with wide eyes before throwing up his hands and leaving. Poison laughed, then quieted down and pressed their fingers to their temples with a groan. 

“Okay. Let’s get you to bed. Come on Gorgeous, you need to sleep.” Ghoul stood up, pulling them up along with him and wrapping an arm around their waist to support their exhausted steps. They nodded slowly, their eyelids sliding shut, each blink longer than the last. Their whole body ached as they made their way up the stairs, and Ghoul glanced at them every few steps to make sure they were still alive.

When they reached the room they shared with Ghoul, they just barely managed to kick off their boots before collapsing onto the bed and fighting to stay awake. They soon felt the familiar warmth of Ghoul as he laid down next to them, wrapping his arms around their middle and kissing their neck softly.

“I’m so proud of you. You were so strong today,” he whispered, and it was the last thing they heard before sleep took over and brought them into the inky void of dreams.

Poison woke to the sound of Ghoul’s soft snores and a screaming pain in their shoulder. They were laying on their side with Ghoul’s arms still around their stomach, and his face buried in their hair. The sun was pooling in a spot on the floor and they were more comfortable than they had been in years. They just laid there for a while, enjoying the comfort of the bed and Ghoul’s warmth. They covered Ghoul’s hand with their own and lightly traced the designs inked into his skin, smiling softly when they found their symbol on the back of his palm. He had gotten it on their two year anniversary, and the whole time they had held his other hand, smiling widely and repeating the words “I love you” a thousand times. 

As the room gradually brightened, Ghoul slowly woke up, tightening his grip on Poison and groaning softly.

“G’morning, Gorgeous,” he mumbled, burying his face in their hair to block out the light. Ghoul had always been rough to wake up, profusely denying that it was indeed the sun in the sky, always insisting it was some other massive source of light. 

“Morning, Darling.” they continued to trace his tattoos, and he pressed a soft kiss to the back of their neck. They laid like that for a moment, enjoying the peace of the morning, until Poison’s injury began to throb again, and they suddenly found it impossible to stay still. They fidgeted, twisting and turning to get more comfortable but not wanting to disturb Ghoul, who was just so cute when he slept, his hair wild and thrown everywhere, drooling all over Poison’s arm as he slept. Poison bit their lip to try and ignore the blaring pain in their arm, raw and red as they tried to stay still for their fiance.

“Why’re you moving?” slurred Ghoul, still obviously overtaken by sleep as he rested on Poison. He shifted again so he was laying on his back, his head on Poison’s good shoulder, curled up in a ball next to them.

“‘S nothing, Darling, my shoulder’s just bothering me, is all.” They kissed the top of his head and ran their fingers through his hair. They tried to keep him from worrying, but he brought his head up to study their face. 

“Is there anything I can do?” His brow was creased with concern, and Poison smiled softly at him. They played with the ends of his hair and shook their head slowly. 

“I don’t think so, I’ll just have to push through I guess,” they said with a shrug. Ghoul sat up fully and rested his chin in his hands, his eyes flickering over their face, a combination of affection and worry in his eyes. 

“Just tell me if you need to take a break, alright? Don’t push yourself too hard.” Poison sat up for a second, pulling Ghoul back into their side.

“I’ll be fine. Go back to sleep, you’re cute when you’re asleep.” He snuggled back into their chest, his hands drawing designs on their skin. His fingers were cold and they shivered a little.

“Fuck you, I’m always cute,” he said defensively, and they poked his side. He let out a shrill giggle and they poked him again, a smile growing on their face. “Hey, quit it,” he laughed, “I won’t hesitate to tickle you!”

“You wouldn’t dare!” They scrambled back and he held up his fingers menacingly, though his eyes were filled with amusement. 

“I would. And I will.” Ghoul lunged for Poison but they rolled off the bed, laughing as their feet connected with the floor. He scrambled to follow them as they slowly backed out of the room, taunting him with every step. He lunged again, and just barely missed them, losing his balance. They grabbed him with their good arm, pulling him back to their side and into a kiss. “Oh fuck, you need a shirt,” he said when they broke apart. Poison went over to their bag and dug through it, pulling out a tank top they had just barely remembered to pack. 

“Can you help me put this on?” Poison held out the shirt helplessly, afraid to move their arm in case they ripped their stitches. Ghoul nodded, guiding their bad arm through the holes and helping them slip it over their head. When it was settled on their shoulders they pressed another kiss to his lips. 

“I love it when you wear tank tops,” Ghoul murmured against Poison’s lips as the two broke the kiss. “You look so good, Prettyboy. You’re stunning, you know that? So fucking hot.” Poison blushed, matching their hair as Ghoul looked at them with lust-filled eyes, loving every moment Poison was on display for him. Taking Poison by the hips, Ghoul took their heavy blush as an invitation to continue. “You’re just so beautiful. My gorgeous partner, look at you.” They popped their hip to one side, cautiously throwing their arms around Ghoul’s shoulders, smiling lazily.

“You know it, darling,” said Poison, going in to kiss him again, Ghoul’s grip on their hips tightening. His fingers slid up to their waist, dancing under the hem of their shirt, and they dragged a finger down his neck, circling each tattoo as they passed it. He leaned into the touch and angled his head ever so slightly away so they had more access. Ghoul’s hands continued to slide slowly up their sides, and had just passed their belly button when the door burst open, revealing a slightly traumatized looking Jet. He stared at them for a moment before swallowing and turning his head away.

“Kobra’s awake,” he said, “I figured Poison’d wanna talk to him. Just come by when you’re… uhm… decent.” He gave them a thumbs-up then shut the door, and Poison and Ghoul stared at each other a moment before bursting into giggles, their hands slipping from each other as they clutched their stomachs. 

“I should see him,” they gasped after they sobered up, “I need to see him. I- Why are you blurry?” they angled their head, staring at Ghoul with furrowed brows. “You’re all fuzzy.” Their head began to pound and their knees gave out, Ghoul catching them just before they hit the floor. 

“Fuck, I should’ve known. You can’t be standing for long periods of time for at least a few days, maybe a week. I don’t know. That short one seemed to know what he was talking about, we can ask him.” He pulled their good arm over his shoulder, taking hold of their hand, and wrapped his free arm around their waist. “You really shouldn’t be walking, and that’s my fault. Fuck, I don’t know if you’ll be able to go on this run. You lost so much blood, and I don’t know much about this shit but I know that’s not good. You’ve got to be more careful, dammit, I couldn’t live with myself if I lost you.” Poison smiled softly at him and squeezed his hand with the little energy they had left.

“I’ll be fine, I’m just a little tired.” They kissed his cheek and rested their head on his shoulder. “I love you so much. You’re so sweet.” Ghoul walked them into the room where Kobra and Jet were staying, finding their brother sitting up in bed, his back resting against the wall. “Kobes!” They tried to go faster, but their knees buckled again and Ghoul caught them again, this time focusing less on their arm, and they cried out as he grabbed it.

“Poison? What the fuck, are you okay? What happened?” Kobra started to get up, but Jet grabbed his shoulders and forced him back down. 

“You’re not supposed to move much,” he said, letting go when he was sure Kobra wouldn’t try to get up again. “Benzedrine said it’s best if you just rest for a day or two.” Kobra nodded and adjusted the blanket so it covered his legs better, then moved over so Poison could sit down next to him.

“So, how are you feeling?” they asked, sitting in between Ghoul’s legs with his arms around their waist and his chin on their shoulder. “Is your chest bothering you at all?”

“My chest? It’s fine. What happened to you? You just about collapsed just now.” Kobra laid a hand on their bad shoulder and they flinched, letting out a soft yelp before he could withdraw his hand. 

“I’ll be fine. It doesn’t really matter,” they said, grabbing onto Ghoul’s hands with the little strength they had. “I got hit but it’s not too bad.”

“They’re lying,” Ghoul cut in, and they slapped his arms lightly, “they lost a lot of blood, and they’re lucky to be alive.” Kobra stared at them, at the dozen stitches in their shoulder. 

“You’re not fine! Why’d you even come in here, go back to bed!” Kobra pushed them gently and they fell back into Ghoul. He steadied them before burying his face in their neck, and they sank into his touch. “Go back to bed, I’m barely even hurting. My jacket kept the shot from doing too much damage, it barely even touched my ribs.” Poison sat up and scanned him for any signs of damage, but aside from the bandage on his chest he appeared fine, and they leaned back again, melting back into their lover’s arms. 

“You really should be resting, Prettyboy. Look, he’s fine.” Kobra gave them a quick thumbs up. “You, however, are not,” Ghoul muttered into their neck, and Kobra nodded, and they sighed. “I can have that short one, you said his name was Benzedrine?” He looked over at Jet, who nodded. “Yeah. We’ll have Benzedrine check you out, he seemed to know what he was talking about.” Poison sighed, but they had to admit they were fighting to stay awake. Their head was pounding and their eyelids were getting heavier by the minute, Ghoul’s warmth on their back only making it harder. 

“I guess it couldn't hurt,” they replied, wincing at the slurring of their words. Kobra nodded encouragingly, and Ghoul slowly got off the bed and helped them stand. “Just be careful, a’ight?” 

“I always am,” Kobra replied with a smile. Ghoul helped them walk back to their room, where they practically collapsed on the bed. They pushed themself so they were sitting like Kobra had, and Ghoul pressed a kiss to their forehead.

“I’ll go get that Benzedrine guy, m’kay? Just stay put, Gorgeous.” He helped them get comfortable, kissing their head again and handing them their sketchbook before going downstairs. 

Poison started to sketch, gently marking down the lines of Ghoul’s face. Thank the Witch their right arm was fine. They didn’t have a reference, but they knew his face so well they didn’t need one. They could draw him in their sleep if someone asked. They were constantly drawing him, to the point it was a tad obsessive, but Ghoul seemed to love it and they loved having their lover’s face scattered on pages throughout their sketchbook. They loved everything about his face, the gentle curve of his nose, his bright eyes that lit up whenever he looked at them, the softness of his mouth, which they always wanted to kiss. They had drawn him so many times over the years, each pencil stroke placed with care and devotion. Their lines were thin and graceful, expertly capturing his likeness.

Ghoul came back, the short Juvie—Benzedrine—close behind. Ghoul glanced at Poison’s sketch, then looked at it again and smiled softly. He sat down next to them and kissed up their neck and over their jawline, bringing a smile to their face. Benzedrine, who had brought extra bandages, made a face and set his supplies down at the foot of the bed.

“If they’ve really lost as much blood as you’ve said, you shouldn’t be doing that. They shouldn’t be getting… excited.” Ghoul nodded, looking sheepish, and settled into their side, taking hold of their hand as Benzedrine began to pull off the bandages covering their stitches. “The wound itself doesn’t look too bad, Jet’s cleaned it up nicely and the stitches are even, so you don’t really need to worry about anything there other than just making sure you let it heal properly. The blood loss though, that’s another matter. Depending on how much they lost it could be anywhere from a month to a year for them to fully recover. Probably longer since you guys aren’t exactly the best when it comes to food. Without any tests being done, the best I can say is just try and exert yourself as little as possible, drink lots of water, and try and get as many nutrients as you can to try and speed up the process. Out here we don’t have the tech for a transfusion so you’ll just have to recover on your own.” Poison nodded, a pained expression on their face as they glanced at the Juvie. He shuffled through supplies briefly before bringing out a small bottle of pills, causing Ghoul to practically throw himself back, yanking Poison with him despite Benzedrine’s confused expression.

“It was a really deep wound so, uh, you could take some of this to ease the pain a little,” he suggested, fiddling with the cap to get the bottle open.

“Get that shit away from them,” said Ghoul, his teeth gritted tightly. “What’re you trying to do to them?”

“It’s just a painkiller, they’ll be in agony for days if they don’t take something.” He was right, Poison’s wound hurt like hell but if he thought they’d take a pill, after seeing what BLI’s pills did to people… he must be insane.

Poison shook their head quickly. “No, I… I can’t take that.” They felt Ghoul press his chin into their shoulder and neck, protectively taking their hand. “We’ve both… had some bad experiences with BLI’s pills.” Benzedrine’s eyes widened, then he nodded.

“Are you sure? It’s really going to hurt.” Poison shook their head, not trusting themself to open their mouth. “Alright then, just remember I’ve got them if you need them.”

“Thanks, Benzedrine,” they said weakly after a moment, “What can you tell me about my brother? Is he going to be okay?” they still clung to Ghoul, holding his hand as if it was keeping them alive.

“First, call me Benze,” he said kindly, putting his supplies away. “No one calls me Benzedrine. Second, he’ll be perfectly fine in a month or so, maybe sooner. He was really lucky, that jacket worked wonders, so all he’s got are some second degree burns. You’re the one we all need to be worrying about. I know you were panicking over your brother but you let yourself bleed too long. You’re gonna be experiencing symptoms for a while. You probably shouldn’t go on the run.”

Shaking their head, Poison sat up slightly straighter. “I’m gonna go on the run. I’m not letting them risk their lives without me.”

Benze anxiously glanced at his feet, obviously nervous to continue. “We just… you might get hurt again and it’d lengthen the healing process. Or, er, your symptoms might, uhm, get in the way.”

"You can't go." Ghoul's voice was hard, but his eyes were full of worry, flickering across Poison's face.

"What? No, I'm not letting you go into BLI without me!" They threw up their hands without thinking, and sucked in a breath as their stitches pulled. They quickly lowered it, but the damage was done, and the pain that had begun to fade came back with a vengeance. 

"And I can't risk you collapsing in the middle of a firefight and being unable to defend yourself. You mean too much to me, I can't let you come knowing you could die." He was cupping their face now, and the fear that creeped onto his features made their chest tighten.

"But what about you? What if you go, and you get ghosted, and I never see you again? I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you and I couldn't help 'cause I was stuck out here in this wasteland." Tears filled their eyes at the thought, threatening to spill over. The idea of losing Ghoul because they were too weak to be there and protect him was absolutely terrifying. They needed to go so they could help, so they could protect him. Why couldn’t the two see that?

“I’m sorry, Poison,” Benze said, glancing from Poison to his feet. “We just can’t risk something happening to make your injuries worse.”

Poison leaned into Ghoul’s touch, grabbing onto his wrist. “You’re going to BLI. I can’t lose you,” they repeated, breaking eye contact with Ghoul. “You could stay,” they said, voice barely above a whisper, “Darling, please stay with me. Someone’s going to have to. Just stay.”

“Pony and D’ll still be here,” he ran his thumb over their cheek, gently brushing away the tears that had begun to fall.

“No offense to him, but D can’t get up the stairs. And I don’t want them. I want you. I don’t want you getting hurt because I can’t be there to protect you. You’re the most important thing in the world to me, I can’t lose you. I want to be sure you’re safe.” Ghoul pressed their foreheads together and they brought their hands to his face. “I love you. I don’t want to lose you. Please stay with me. I’ll stay, as long as you stay with me.” Their hands began to shake, and he took hold of them gently and brought their fingers to his lips.

“Then I’ll stay with you.” Poison wrapped their arms around his neck, relief flooding through their body. He was safe. He would stay safe. 

“Thank you,” they nearly sobbed into his neck, “I love you.” Ghoul pulled them closer and pressed a kiss to their temple. Poison heard Benze shift next to them and stand up.

‘I’ll leave you two alone,” Benze said, pointedly looking anywhere except at the two of them. “Remember to just rest and eat food. Oh, and Ghoul,” he stopped at the door and turned to the raven haired boy, “Can you stop treating Sandman like he killed your dog? I know you can’t tell, but it’s getting to him.” He shut the door behind him, leaving Ghoul dumbstruck as he clung to Poison. 

“Well he got to us, so now we’re even,” he pouted after a minute, running his fingers through his hair. Poison snorted and kissed his cheek. “We should go talk to D. We need to tell him about all this. Us staying. Our wedding.” He smiled and pulled them in for a kiss.

“How’s that going to work, though?” they fiddled with his necklace. “I can’t walk far and he’s in a wheelchair.” Ghoul kissed them again, then climbed off the bed. 

"I'll hold you up, all you've gotta do is not trip." They smiled, and draped their good arm over his shoulders as he grabbed their waist and hauled them to their feet. "Steady there, Gorgeous." He grabbed hold of their good hand and kissed their cheek. Poison tried their hardest to walk themself but Ghoul wouldn’t let them, practically carrying most of their weight, almost falling over himself. They struggled down the stairs, hooked to each other. Poison almost fell forward once they made it down but Ghoul caught them, the couple laughing as Ghoul pulled them up, pressing a small kiss on their lips. “Hey, stay with me, Prettyboy.”

“I’m fine,” Poison said with a smile. “Ok, let’s go.” Ghoul wrapped his arm around their waist, steadying himself against the wall before walking again. 

They found Dr. Death in the kitchen, talking to Cherri. Ghoul helped Poison sit at the table and pulled a chair up next to theirs.

“Hey D?” they asked after a minute, “Can we talk to you about a few things?” They fidgeted nervously, then took Ghoul’s hands again, twisting his beads.

“Sure, Kid, what can I do for you?” He turned to face them, Cherri leaving to go do something else, and they swallowed before continuing.

“Well first, I apparently lost a lot of blood, and Benze said I shouldn’t go on the run. And I need Ghoul with me, so unless this is postponed like... six months, we won’t be going.” D nodded, and some of the tension in Poison’s shoulders eased.

“That’s understandable, but we’ll be losing our best fighters, I just hope we can find someone to take up the slack.” Poison stared blankly at Ghoul’s hands, still messing with the beads around his wrist. “Was there something else, trouble between you two lovebirds perhaps?” Ghoul blushed and opened his mouth to speak, but Poison interrupted him.

“No. We got engaged.” Ghoul smiled at them, and out in the hallway they could hear Show Pony shriek, then come bursting into the room.

“You’re engaged?” their eyes were wide, and their arms were held out as though they were hushing everyone in the room. “As in like,  _ engaged  _ engaged. As in, ‘we’re getting married’  _ engaged _ ?”

“Yeah? What other kind-” Ghoul was cut off as Pony shrieked again, grinning wildly.

“Fucking  _ finally! _ I’ve been waiting literal years for this! This is going to be so cute, when is it?" Ghoul looked lost, his mouth opening and closing soundlessly. Poison smiled and kissed his cheek before stepping in.

“We were thinking right after the run, and yeah, that was the other thing.” They paused and turned back to the older man. “We’d like D to officiate the ceremony.” The man stared at the two of them, touched, before a large smile grew on his face. 

“Well I guess I couldn’t have been more wrong. Kobra said you two went through some rough patches, but I’m glad you two worked it out.” 

“Don’t thank Sandman. The whole thing was his fault,” Ghoul huffed, moving to sit on Poison’s lap. They wrapped their arm around his middle and rested their chin on his shoulder as he continued. “I respect the hell out of you, D, but why the fuck are we working with them? Well the rest seem pretty cool, but  _ Sandman? _ He’s an asshole! I almost lost the love of my life because of that fucker!  _ Twice _ !” He put his hands over Poison’s protectively, and they pulled him closer.

“Please don’t ever break up, it might actually kill me,” Pony said, pulling themself up to sit on the counter.

“It would _ definitely _ kill me.” Poison pressed a kiss to Ghoul’s neck, the very thought of leaving him making them feel queasy. “You're my everything," they said into his hair. Pony made another noise, and they felt Ghoul tense up a little, his shoulders going stiff. They brought their hands to his shoulders and started gently massaging them, and slowly he relaxed back into them. "You alright, Darling?"

"It's just the run. They're going to be breaking in and out of BLI and we won't be going." He twisted to look at them. "I wouldn't leave you, not when you've asked me to stay, but I'm just worried about the others."

"I'll send Cherri and Pony with them, they'll be fine," D said, his voice sympathetic as Ghoul tensed up again. Poison continued to massage his shoulders, pressing kisses to his neck every few seconds. 

"How can you be sure though? How can you know that they'll be alright? My best friends, fuck, they're my brothers, will be out there. How can you know they'll be safe?" His voice was rising in pitch and volume, they could tell he was getting close to panicking. 

"Hey, Ghoulie, look at me," they took his face gently and stared into his worried eyes. "They're going to be okay. You have to stop worrying. You're just going to drive yourself crazy thinking about it. You just have to hold on to hope. They'll be okay. Just repeat after me okay? They'll be okay."

"They'll- they’ll be okay." His voice wavered, and they kissed him softly before wrapping their arms around his shoulders and holding him. “They’ll be okay. They’ll be okay. They’ll be okay.” He clung to them, his fingers knotting in their shirt as he repeated the words. They hummed softly and brushed their fingers through his hair, careful not to tug too hard on the twisted strands.

“What happened, kid? Last time I saw you, you weren’t anywhere  _ near _ this anxious,” D asked, furrowing his brow. 

“A lot has happened this week,” Poison replied grimly. “We fought, we got new information on his parents, I proposed, Sandman made him doubt our relationship and was also just a huge asshole, and then Kobra and I got hurt. It’s been a long couple of days.” Ghoul still clung to them, flinching at the mention of his parents and the fight. “Oh, Darling, I’m sorry.” They kissed his temple as he tightened his grip on them. D whistled.

“Well, shit, I think we’ll leave you two alone then.” The older man waved a hand for Pony to leave, and they slid off the counter with a huff. “I’d be honored to officiate your wedding, by the way,” he added before leaving the room. Poison felt a smile grow on Ghoul’s lips as he pressed his face into their chest. 

“Come on, Darling let’s find somewhere more comfortable, okay?” Ghoul nodded, standing up, and they followed, pushing down the dizziness as they stood. Their vision swam as they tried to walk on their own, not wanting to make Ghoul carry them when he felt like this. They stumbled over the threshold of the kitchen and he was immediately at their side, holding them up as they walked slowly to their room.

“I should’ve helped you earlier, I’m so sorry,” he said as they reached the stairs.

“Don’t be, you’re upset, and you shouldn't even have to be carrying me. I can walk by myself, it’s fine.” Poison tried to wriggle out of his grip, but he held fast to their waist. 

“No, you can’t, and I don’t want you hurting yourself, just let me help you.” They smiled at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek before letting themself be pulled closer to him as they climbed the stairs. 

Ghoul helped Poison to the bed, gently setting them down when he was sure they wouldn’t fall, then grabbed a book and settled into their side. He leaned overtop Poison to press a kiss to their mouth, still laying on top of them as he held the book against their chest. They smiled and tapped his nose before wrapping their arms around his chest. He twisted so he was on his back, his head laying on their shoulder. He began to read, his voice soft and calm. Poison grabbed their sketchbook and continued the drawing they had been working on, staring at Ghoul’s hands in an attempt to get his tattoos just right. 

They hated to admit it, but they needed a day like this, a day to just relax and enjoy the company of the one they loved. Ghoul needed it too, they could tell. He had been so tense and worried the last few days, the stress of upcoming events causing him to lose sleep. They had woken up several times the past few days to find him sitting up with his head in his hands. It was starting to genuinely scare them, to see Ghoul wasting away at the speed he was. His mental health was deteriorating and Poison wanted to be there for him, to love him and show him he was loved. So he could be safe, finally. 

Abandoning their drawing, Poison wrapped their arms around Ghoul and buried their face in his hair, enjoying his warmth. He smelled like smoke and wood and metal, and ever since they started dating it was the first thing that came to mind when they thought of home. 

“I love you,” they murmured into his hair, and he looked up at them and squeezed their hands gently. They kissed him slowly, and he set the book down and shifted so it was easier for them to reach. They slipped their fingers into his hair, letting them linger there when they broke the kiss. They took jet black strands in their hands, weaving them into a braid, massaging his scalp lightly as they worked. “You look pretty like this,” they mused, admiring their work as they continued braiding. He smiled and kissed them again, almost making them lose their grip on the braid. “Hey! You have to stay still or I’ll mess it up, and then we’ll have to start over,” they laughed, gathering more hair and weaving it in. “You have to turn around now, or the braid will lay weird.” Ghoul complied, twisting around, and both of them sat up so Poison could have a better angle. 

“This feels so nice,” he sighed, “You should do this all the time.” they smiled and kissed his neck before shifting to his side. 

“As often as you want, Darling. It’s beautiful on you.” They started to hum as they worked, twisting more strands together as Ghoul sighed softly. This was as normal as it’d ever get for the couple but they wouldn’t trade it for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed, I love hearing feedback


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing really to add here, other than a huge thanks to Ash for being fucking amazing  
> Also there might not be an update for a while as we're nearing opening night of my play and I will literally be a walking corpse if its not canceled due to coronavirus  
> Lots of drama in this chapter, I hope you enjoy!

Part 8

###  Kobra

Kobra’s chest had been healing up nicely and before long, even the constant shortness of breath had faded. It still hurt, he refused to take the painkillers offered by Benze, but at least he was able to walk around now. Poison could barely stand, and had spent the last two days in their room with Ghoul. He could hear them sometimes, laughing and singing together, and found himself wishing for the same thing with Sandman. He hadn’t seen the other boy since he had woken up, though Benze told him earlier that he had sat next to him nearly the whole time, only leaving because Poison kicked him out. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling the whole time Benze told him. Sandman really did care about him, didn’t he?

But in all honesty, Kobra had been spending a lot of time with Sandman’s crew, Benzedrine, American Beauty, and American Psycho. They were kind and very different from his own crew, which was almost a welcome change. Psycho was very similar to Ghoul, he found, they were both loud and sarcastic, though Psycho seemed to focus more on just confusing people instead of pissing them off. Beauty was quiet, but once he started talking you could hear the intelligence behind his words, he was the type to listen to and absorb everything he heard. Benze was one of the nicest people Kobra had ever met, he was always patient when Kobra asked a million questions about life under the city or didn’t want to take the drugs. They called themselves the Youngbloods, and Kobra had spent more time with them and Jet lately, learning about their lives and telling them his favorite things about the desert, like how when the sun sets is looks like whole world is on fire, or how on the very rare chance that it snows, everyone collectively loses their shit, not going inside until it’s gone. 

Wandering through the house, he heard the sound of a bike engine and glanced out the window to see Sandman’s shock of pink hair as he sped across the sand, making turns and dodging invisible obstacles. Occasionally he’s fall, his hands just barely saving his face from impact, but he’d always stand up, adjust his goggles, and get back on. Kobra found himself smiling as the other boy tried the same turn half a dozen times and kept falling, then resolved to go help him. 

As he stepped out into the sun, Sandman pulled up next to him and grinned, taking off the goggles and bandanna he was using to keep out sand. 

“How’re you feeling, Dear?” His voice was light, and Kobra couldn’t hold back a smile at his infectious energy.

“Pretty good actually, all things considered,” he shrugged, slipping his hands into his jacket pockets. They started walking together, talking pointlessly about things that didn’t really matter, until Sandman hooked his arm through Kobra’s and the topic shifted to them.

“So are we going to talk about it?” Sandman asked nervously.

“Talk about what?” Kobra knew exactly what he meant, but he still hadn’t processed what had happened. He always got nervous before claps, and though he tried his best to hide it, when he got nervous he was impulsive, did things he would barely even consider normally. The kiss was wonderful, he didn’t regret it for a second, but he was worried about the reactions of his crew, or rather Ghoul and Poison. 

“You kissed me. And I don’t know why, but it’s all I could think about ever since. I know you need time and everything, but I’m going crazy, and I need to know if this is going somewhere.” They had stopped walking, the two boys not quit facing each other, and Kobra picked at his nails, silent. “I’m willing to wait, but I just need to know that there’s something to wait  _ for _ .”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I like you a lot, I really do, but Poison’s my sibling, I love them so much and I just want them to be happy, and they are, they're so happy with Ghoul it makes my chest hurt. And you nearly fucked that up for them, twice, and I realize there were other factors at work than just you being an asshole, but Ghoul doesn’t and they don’t. They’re both so stubborn it’d take a miracle for them to forgive you, they’ll hate me.” he glanced at Sandman, fiddling with something on his jacket. 

“Why does it matter so much what they think? It’s your life,” the other boy said after a moment, unhooking his arm from Kobra’s. Kobra almost immediately missed his touch, and wrapped his arms over his stomach to prevent himself from reaching for Sandman. 

“Poison’s the only family I have left, and out here the only people you can trust are your family and your crew. I just don’t want to lose that. You may be able to trust everyone in the Underground, but it’s not like that here. Here it’s every man for himself, and some people take that quite literally.” He shrunk further back into himself, putting up the walls that he had slowly been tearing down. 

“Then come with me.” 

“What?”

“Come with me, 1back to the Underground. We have plenty of space, and everyone’s cool, and you seem really comfortable around my crew, it’d be good for you, I think. You could eat something other than dog food every day.” His face was so unabashedly hopeful, Kobra could feel the walls coming down again as he smiled. 

“I’d love to, honestly, I would, but my crew… I can’t just  _ leave _ .” He threw up his hands helplessly as Sandman’s face fell. 

“You can’t let what you think their reactions will be control everything you do, Dear, you have to make choices for yourself and what’ll make _you_ happy.” Kobra sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, conflicted. Sandman did have a point, he relied too much on what he thought Poison would think and not enough on what he wanted, and part of him just wanted to say fuck it and join Sandman, but another part of him pointed out that the Desert was his home, and sure, it sucked, but its where everyone he loved resided, so it was his favorite place. But he could be safe in the Underground, not have to worry about when his next meal would be, or when he’d get to sleep next. And probably never see Poison again. Kobra knew that was stupid, there  was tons of traffic between the Underground and the desert, of course he’d see Poison, but it wouldn’t be often, and something could happen in between. 

“Listen, I— I care about you like crazy, Sandman. You mean a lot to me, I don’t know how this has happened so quickly but it has. And it’s just that… my crew has been all I’ve known for so long.  _ Poison  _ has been all I’ve known as long as I can remember. I need all of them, they’re my family and it’s just… I know how much it’d hurt Poison if I left. We were kids when everything started to fall apart, we were each other’s only support system and we promised we’d never leave each other. I can’t break that promise to them now.” 

The look on Sandman’s face was absolutely heartbreaking. He looked so upset, as if he had really been counting on Kobra saying yes. “It’s just that… you know, I think it’d be good for you to get away from them for a bit. You two seem really, er, really dependant on each other. I dunno, it might help.”

“The thing is, we don’t need help. If my situation was different than maybe but… Sandman, you know I can’t leave Poison.” Kobra took his hands, playing with his fingers ads he sighed. “I really appreciate it, though.” Sandman nodded, and Kobra kissed his cheek, squeezing his hands. The bright smile returned, and Kobra grinned back before linking their arms again. “Okay, let me help you with that turn, and we can use my bike, ‘cause yours is still shit.”

Kobra and Sandman ended up just racing each other, Kobra easily beating the other boy, though he did come close a few times. They switched bikes occasionally, and Kobra would make minor modifications to Sandman’s so it ran better, the cylinders fired faster, or just increased the mileage. Kobra let Sandman ride his bike while teaching him the turn, and eventually he managed to not fall in the middle of it. 

“I just wish it was easier for us. With Ghoul and Poison, with the distance between our homes, with all this bullshit. They're so happy together, and I want that. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m fucking lonely.” He finally looked up, and there was that heartbreaking look on Sandman’s face again, all sad eyes and furrowed brows. “You make me feel less alone though,” he said softly, just barely above a whisper. The shorter boy’s face broke into a grin, and Kobra smiled back, taking his hand. 

“We can be alone together.” The look on Sandman’s face was so sweet, so genuine and Kobra found himself unable to look away from those gorgeous dark eyes. Sandman swung Kobra’s hand as the two started to make their way back to the house, Kobra constantly glancing at the beautiful pink-haired boy next to him. It seemed like things were finally starting to look up for him.

When Kobra and Sandman made it back in the room, they were expected to be met by the Youngbloods, who had expressed their support for Kobra and Sandman’s relationship, all of them teasing Sandman about it, seemingly really excited for their friend. But when Kobra and Sandman entered, the first thing Kobra did was meet Jet’s eyes, who was sitting by the door. He smiled at them until noticing their connected hands, a worried look on his face. Kobra disregarded it, not really knowing why he appeared like that until he opened his mouth.

“Over the--” 

“Fucker!” Jet was interrupted by a loud voice and Kobra glanced over and saw Poison and Ghoul, Benze checking Poison’s arm again and Ghoul attached to Poison’s good arm, with an absolutely disgusted look on his face. Poison glanced between the couple and their fiancé helplessly, their eyes clouding with worry. Ghoul stood up, ignoring the cries of protest from Poison as they clung to him. “What the fuck are you doing?” Sandman reeled back, releasing Kobra’s hand as his face hardened. “Kobra! The fuck is going on?” 

“Why do you care?” 

“Why do I care? You’re my best friend and I’m worried about how this fucker could hurt you! I literally almost lost the love of my life,  _ your sibling _ ,  _ twice _ , because of him! He’s done nothing but fuck things up ever since we met him!”

Poison’s brow was furrowed roughly as they tugged on Ghoul’s hand in a desperate attempt to calm down their angry lover. “Darling…” they started, their voice soft and shaking slightly as they looked over at their brother. 

Ghoul shook Poison’s hand away what seemed to be little too roughly, as they fell back. They threw back their bad arm to keep from falling completely, and yelped as their stitches pulled. But Ghoul was too blinded by anger to notice he had thrown Poison back, going forward until he was waving hands right in Kobra’s face. Sandman had backed into a corner, gripping his sides in an attempt to protect himself. 

“You really think-”

“Ghoul!” Poison’s voice rang through the room, loud and sharp and angry, cutting Ghoul off. They stood up, ignoring protests from Benze as they grabbed Ghoul’s arm and dragged him away from Kobra and Sandman. They looked more pissed than Kobra’s ever seen them, their whole body tense and their face displaying a thousand emotions. “Stop. Look at them! Sandman’s fucking scared shitless! You were about to take a swing at my brother! You hurt _me!_ ” Ghoul stared at them, slowly coming back to himself as Poison continued. “I get that you’re still pissed at Sandman, really, I do, but you can’t just go off on him every time you’re in the same room! I think he’s gotten enough shit from you, give him a fucking _break_.” He was still staring at them, all traces of anger gone. He reached a shaking hand to touch their face but they turned to their brother. “Are you okay?” Kobra nodded, still eyeing Ghoul apprehensively. Poison grimaced and pulled him into a hug. Kobra clung to them for a moment before they stepped back to look him over. “Do you care about him?” Kobra nodded again, and Sandman stood straighter as Poison approached him. “Come with me. We need to talk before any of this continues.” Sandman opened his mouth to reply but they brushed past him, leaning heavily on the wall as their energy drained. Ghoul moved to help but they held up a hand and he backed off. “We’ll talk later.” A look of hurt flashed across his face, and for a second Kobra felt bad, but then he glared at Sandman as he followed them and any trace of remorse faded. 

Kobra sat at the table, numbly trying to process what had happened when Ghoul approached him warily. Kobra glanced at him, then put his feet up on the other chair. The last thing he wanted right now was more shit from the dark-haired boy. He stared at Kobra’s feet for a moment, something unreadable on his face before he opened his mouth. 

“So I- I uhh… I wanted to apologize.” His voice shook and Kobra stared up at him with a carefully schooled blank expression. “I’ve been really bitchy lately, and I’m tired and worried about you and Poison, and I took it out on you and Sandman. I’m still pissed at him, but you’re Poison’s brother and my best friend, I shouldn’t’ve done that.” 

Kobra nodded thoughtfully, his expression still showing nothing. Ghoul sighed heavily, leaning back as he looked longingly to where Poison was with Sandman. “It’s just… we just got better and I fucked everything up all over again. I can’t believe I was in such a trance I hurt them,  _ fuck _ .” 

If Kobra was being honest, he kind of felt bad at that moment. He seemed very sorry and very worried about Poison. Ghoul was twiddling his thumbs, glancing anxiously from where Poison was to Kobra. And as Ghoul did when he was nervous, he kept talking, desperate to fill the awkward silence but Kobra just wanted him to be quiet. 

“I just really,  _ really _ hope they’re not pissed at me all over again. I love them to death, I fucking-- I didn’t mean to hurt them.” It was obvious how bad Ghoul felt for hurting them and while thinking about it angered Kobra like crazy, he was their fiancé after all, but he had never done something like that. Kobra couldn't bring himself to say anything aloud, so he just nodded and took his feet off the chair. Ghoul brightened a little bit and sat down, drumming his fingers on the table and chewing on the end of one of the braids Poison had put in his hair. "So are you two… a uh… a thing now?" Kobra shrugged and played with the zipper on his jacket, sliding it up and down and glancing nervously at the door Poison and Sandman had gone through. "And you’re sure he’s not going to fuck you over?” Kobra glared at him, and he held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I’m just saying, he’s been an asshole before, I don’t want to see you get hurt.” Kobra nodded again, just as Poison and Sandman returned, and both of them stood up. Poison was still leaning heavily on the walls, and Ghoul immediately ran to them, throwing his arms around their neck. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I didn’t mean it,” he nearly sobbed into their chest, and they pulled him in and ran their fingers through his hair.

“I know, I know Darling, It’s okay.” They kissed the top of his head. “No more fighting, okay?” Ghoul nodded furiously and buried his face further in their chest. He said something Kobra couldn’t quite hear, but Poison smiled and kissed his head again. “I love you too.”

Kobra approached Sandman warily, and the pink-haired boy gave him a small smile. 

“What did Poison say to you?” Kobra looked Sandman up and down, scanning for something that could be wrong. 

“Nothing bad, I promise,” he laughed, “They just wanted to know if I’m serious about you. I said I was, ‘cause I am, and they believed me.” Kobra’s face split into a grin and he looked to Poison, who nodded. His smile grew and they threw his arms around Sandman, laughing into his neck. 

###  Ghoul

Ghoul was the worst. He had yelled at his best friend. He had  _ hurt his fiancé _ . He’d been so blinded by his grudge against Sandman he’d hurt the person he loved most in the world. And they welcomed him back with open arms. Poison deserved better than him. They were radiant. They were beautiful and kind and clever, and he was a piece of shit. 

“Are you sure you’re not mad?” They were back in bed, Ghoul resting his head on Poison’s chest as they ran their fingers through his unbraided hair. 

“I’m not, I don’t want to be. We just fixed everything and what happened, at least with me, was an accident,” they said softly, moving their fingers from his hair to his face. 

“How badly did I hurt you?” Ghoul ran his fingers down their arms as they caressed his face, the raised area where the stitches were was rougher and redder than it had been that morning. And it was all Ghoul’s fault. 

“Not that bad, I’m fine. My stitches just pulled a little, it stung a bit,” Poison assured him, pressing a short and sweet peck to his lips. When they noticed Ghoul’s disbelieving look, they smiled and said, “I swear to the Witch. It barely hurts, Darling, don’t worry.”

"Are you sure?" He reached up and ran his fingers along their cheek, and they took his hand in theirs. 

"Absolutely," they said, pressing his fingers to their lips. "I barely feel it anymore, you can stop worrying, okay?" He nodded after a moment and they smiled at him softly. “I love you, so much.” Ghoul pushed himself off of Poison’s chest, then settled down next to them, kissing them slowly. They brushed away the hair that had fallen into his face and rolled onto their good shoulder to face him.

“I love you too, and are you sure you’re alright, I-” they put a finger to his lips and gently shushed him, smiling softly. 

“I’m fine, you can stop worrying. We’re fine,” they whispered and kissed his nose. Ghoul scrunched up his face and they laughed softly, slowly unravelling the knots that had formed in his stomach. 

“I just… I’m so fucking sorry, I shouldn’t have exploded like that.” Ghoul was trying to stay calm, to stop worrying, but some of the guilt in the pit of his stomach just refused to go away. “I promise I’ll never go that crazy again. I can’t believe I was so blinded that I hurt you, I’m so sorry, beautiful.”

Poison put an arm over Ghoul’s middle, pulling him closer and Ghoul felt the warmth of Poison’s chest against his head. “Darling, I promise you, it’s okay. You know if you really did hurt me badly, I’d be a lot angrier than I am now.” Poison pressed a palm against the back of his head, rubbing his hair softly. “Look, I love you so much. I don’t want us to fight anymore. Let’s just be happy for a bit.” Ghoul hummed into their chest, wrapping his arms around them and tangling their legs together. 

“I love you,” he said, and the knots in his stomach finally loosened as they tightened their arms around him. “Please don’t ever leave me.”

“I love you too, and are you sure you’re alright, I-” they put a finger to his lips and gently shushed him, smiling softly. 

“I’m fine, you can stop worrying. We’re fine,” they whispered and kissed his nose. Ghoul scrunched up his face and they laughed softly, slowly unravelling the knots that had formed in his stomach. 

“I just… I’m so fucking sorry, I shouldn’t have exploded like that.” Ghoul was trying to stay calm, to stop worrying, but some of the guilt in the pit of his stomach just refused to go away. “I promise I’ll never go that crazy again. I can’t believe I was so blinded that I hurt you, I’m so sorry, beautiful.”

Poison put an arm over Ghoul’s middle, pulling him closer and Ghoul felt the warmth of Poison’s chest against his head. “Darling, I promise you, it’s okay. You know if you really did hurt me badly, I’d be a lot angrier than I am now.” Poison pressed a palm against the back of his head, rubbing his hair softly. “Look, I love you so much. I don’t want us to fight anymore. Let’s just be happy for a bit.” Ghoul hummed into their chest, wrapping his arms around them and tangling their legs together. 

“I love you,” he said, and the knots in his stomach finally loosened as they tightened their arms around him. “Please don’t ever leave me.”

The next day everyone sat in the living room, three of the Juvies on one couch, Jet, Kobra, and Sandman on the other, and Poison and Ghoul in a chair. Ghoul sat sideways on their lap, his legs crossed over one of the arms of the chair and one of his arms over their shoulders. They were braiding his hair again, taking the ones they had done previously as adding to them and weaving them together. They were still really weak, and Ghoul had to practically carry them downstairs once again. They offered to sleep on one of the couches and let him have the bed so he wouldn’t have to hold them up constantly, but he refused, taking hold of their waist and kissing them softly before helping them to the living room. 

“So since you two aren’t going,” Cherri said, motioning to the two lovers, “Pony and I’ll be coming with you to fill in the gaps.” Poison nodded, but Sandman sat up straighter, confusion all over his face.

“Why do they get to stay here while we’re out there risking our asses or one girl?” he asked, and Kobra shrunk into the couch, pulling his knees to his chest.

“Poison lost a fuck ton of blood, the exertion could literally kill them.” Cherri’s voice was annoyed, so obviously sick of the drama already. 

Sandman huffed, leaning back down, his head against Kobra’s. “Well, Ghoul’s fine. He’s fucking shiny, nothing happened to him, are they really so attatched at the hip they can’t spend just a few days apart?”

Ghoul was about to shout something but he felt Poison tug on a braid lightly, causing him to settle into their chest again. Instead he saw Cherri sigh, glancing at Ghoul before turning back to Sandman. “Poison can’t get up and down the stairs by themself. And then D can’t go up the stairs to help them.”

“Why not have Jet or Benze stay? They’re the medics.” It took so much willpower for Ghoul not to jump at Sandman, but he was not in the mood to piss off Poison so he stayed quiet, rubbing his fiancé’s thigh softly.

Cherri closed his eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath before saying, “They’re engaged. Poison wants Ghoul with them rather than anyone else.” That caused Poison to start for a second, reach forward to wrap their arms around Ghoul’s shoulders before pulling back and continuing to braid his hair. 

“Fine, whatever. I’m just saying, maybe some time apart would be good, they’re always clinging to each other, it's starting to get weird.” Kobra stared at the pink-haired boy, then buried his face in his knees with a groan. Ghoul’s stomach twisted.

“I can’t believe I actually thought you’d understand, since, you know, you’re ‘ _ soooo serious’ _ about Kobra,'' Ghoul snapped, flinching as soon as the words left his mouth and Poison dropped his hair. Fuck. He’d fucked up again. They were going to leave. He’d be alone. He turned back to them, apologies all over his face, and there was something unreadable on their features as they looked up at him. The whole room was silent, or at least, if it wasn’t he couldn’t tell. His focus narrowed down to them, their face, their hands, every point where their bodies touched as he waited for them to push him off of them. Ghoul tensed up, bracing for their rejection, and their face softened. They took his hand and squeezed it gently and he relaxed back into them. They wrapped their arms around his waist and kissed just under his ear.

“Just be nice, okay? Try to be nice to him, for me.” There was no trace of anger or frigidity in their voice as they whispered to him, and he nodded. They smiled softly and kissed him again, then resumed their work on his hair. “Sandman,” they stared him down, “I know Kobra likes you, but I swear to the Witch if you say another word against us I will personally fight you. I’ve tried to be patient, really I have, and I’m willing to give you another chance, but you have to stop antagonizing Ghoul. I will fight you and that is a threat.” They didn’t look very physically threatening, their skin was pale and were thin enough that even Ghoul could probably break them in half if he wanted, but there was something in the way their eyes lit up and their words were thrown out of their mouth that made Sandman squirm in his seat. He joined Kobra at the back of the couch, pressing closer to the blonde and laying his head on his shoulder. The room fell into uncomfortable silence until Cherri had enough.

“Anyway, Pony and I will go with you guys, unless you can get a few Juvies to fill in, we shouldn’t need more than two." Benze nodded, taking notes on a piece of paper he'd found. "We'll all be going to the Underground, where we can get the more detailed planning done, since you guys have actual blueprints of the City and know how to get around it. There are a few people in the City that we need to get out. A woman and her daughter being the top priority but anyone else we can save along the way is great." Ghoul didn't catch much else after that, Poison's braiding was calming and he was tired, so keeping his focus on Cherri's words got difficult. Instead he focused on the feel of Poison's fingers in his hair, never pulling too tight or letting something fall. Whenever they finished one, they'd brush their fingers down his face and kiss his cheek with a smile, then start on another one. 

Ghoul came back to reality when Cherri sat down on one of the couches, and Psycho and Jet walked off, chatting about guitars. Poison tapped his shoulder gently. 

"I need to talk to my brother," they said, "Help me up?" They finished with his hair, tucking the last braid into the others. 

"Of course, Gorgeous." He stood, then grabbed their waist and pulled them up. Making sure they were steady, he walked them over to Kobra, who was still sitting with Sandman, smiling softly at something the other boy had said. Kobra looked up and smiled wider, and Sandman turned as well, and his face fell.

“Have you come to fight me then? I don’t exactly see how that’s going to work.” Poison stared at him for a moment before flicking their attention over to Kobra.

“Kobes, can I talk to you? Alone?” Kobras eyes widened and he nodded. “Can you take us into the kitchen, Darling?” Ghoul pressed a kiss to their cheek and brought them to where they asked, setting them down at the table. 

“I’ll be just in the other room if you need me, ‘mkay?” He kissed their forehead and they smiled at him, running the back of their hand down his face. “Love you.”

“Love you.” Ghoul stood there for a minute, just staring at their soft smile before making his way out, knowing this was a sibling thing. But he could feel Poison’s adoring eyes on him as he started to leave and his smile didn’t leave his face. How’d he get so lucky with Poison?

###  Poison

Poison watched their fiancé leave, smiling at his back before turning to their brother. 

“I love him so much,” they said to Kobra, the bright smile still on their face. He was sitting on the counter, and he smiled at them for a moment before his face clouded over.

“Do you want me to stop seeing him?” Kobra’s voice was soft, sad. It made their chest tighten, the utter loneliness on his face when the words fell from his mouth.

“No, no, no he makes you happy, of course not!” They almost stood up, but the blood rushed to their head as they shifted, so they settled back down again. “I just, I need you to talk to him for me. He’ll listen to you. I need you to get him to stop pissing off Ghoul. He’s so close to falling apart, I- He’s been so paranoid lately, I’m worried about him. I just want him to be happy I- You need to talk to Sandman. Please.” Kobra nodded, and something unravelled in Poison’s chest they didn’t even know had been there. “It’s nice to see you smile,” they said, offering one to their brother, who blushed. “You guys are cute, when Sandman’s not driving my fiancé insane.” 

“That’s fair,” he laughed, “they’re really similar though, have you noticed?”

“No, not rea- fuck, they are! They're both so stubborn and energetic, no wonder they don’t get along. Probably for the best, we’d never have any peace if they did.” They glanced over at the door Ghoul had left through, the soft smile growing on their face again. “He’s so wonderful,” they sighed, “he hasn’t complained this whole time about having to practically carry me everywhere. I hate having to rely on him so much for everything, but he hasn’t said a word, just made sure I won’t hurt myself more.” they looked back at their brother, who watched them with an amused expression on his face. “I just love him so much, Kobes, I want to make sure he knows that, and ever since Sandman showed up he hasn’t. It may not be all his fault but he’s making it worse and I need you to talk to him. We never fought, you know that, we just fit so well together. There’s been so much tension from Sandman and it’s killing both of us. I don’t wanna lose him because of all this bullshit.” Kobra stared intently at the floor tiles and their chest tightened again. “I don’t want you to blame yourself, please don’t ever do that. And I really don’t want this to hurt things for you, but Ghoul’s suffering, he’s  _ suffocating _ , I can feel it, and it’s killing me.” 

“I’m so sorry, Pois, I know you’ve been so happy with Ghoul these past few years, and Sandman’s fucknig it up, and I don’t want to ruin it either, and…” his voice died.

“I just really don’t wanna lose him over this,” said Poison quietly, looking up and noticing Kobra’s distressed expression. “Look, I haven’t been the most supportive over you being with Sandman and I’m really sorry. He makes you happy and you haven’t been happy in so long… Tell me about him.”

A grin grew on Kobra’s face as he wrapped his arms around himself. “Sandman, he’s just… he’s wonderful. He’s so sweet, to me at least, and he’s got the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. And I can really see myself being happy with him for a long time. I can see us… I think we're gonna be a lot like you and Ghoul, if it lasts.”

“I’d love for you to have what Ghoul and I have,” said Poison, brushing hair out of their face. “You deserve it. If they’re really as alike as they seem, you’ll be in good hands. Because Ghoul is the most amazing guy in the world, he’s wonderful.”

“I think he’ll be good for me,” said Kobra, a dreamy expression on his face. “I think I’ll finally be less lonely. I’ll have someone there for me to come back to.” Poison watched their brother as he dreamed of the future, and a warm feeling bloomed in their chest. Maybe they had a chance at happiness after all. “The other day, before Ghoul… snapped, I guess, I found him outside trying to race and he just kept falling and,” he laughed softly, “I asked why he just kept going and he said it was so he could race with me. I swear he ate dust at least a dozen times, Pois, and I think his hands even started bleeding at one point. He just wanted to be able to race with me, and fuck he wouldn’t stop trying, it was incredible. I- I never thought someone outside of you guys would ever do that for me…” his voice petered out and he started to fiddle with his shirt, and Poison smiled at him.

“That’s wonderful, I’m so happy for you. I really hope we can work this out, because as much as I want Ghoul to be happy… It’s been so long since I’ve seen you smile.” It was crazy, the change in Kobra’s mood pre- and post-Sandman, he was so much more talkative, so much happier and it really was wonderful. Poison missed seeing their little brother actually happy. And now he was, and Poison could care less about themself, but they just didn’t want it at the expense of Ghoul’s sanity. “I think I’m going to go lay down,” they said after a moment, “I’ve spent too much time in uncomfortable chairs.” Kobra chuckled and helped them stand and find Ghoul, who was sitting in the other room with one of his books. He saw them coming and his face split into a grin, then he threw down the book to take them from Kobra. “Hello Darling,” they crooned, “Did you miss me?”

“Always.” He smiled, kissing them softly. “You tired?” They nodded, resting their head on his shoulder and melting into his side. “Alright, Gorgeous, I’ll take you upstairs and you can draw me, ‘kay?”

“Can you read to me? I’m not sure I have the energy to draw right now.” their whole body ached as Ghoul helped them up the stairs, and their head began to pound. “Actually, can you just lay with me?”

“Anything you want, my love.” They smiled and kissed his cheek. He really was perfect. They made it to their room and sat down on the bed, letting their bones sink into the soft material with a sigh. Ghoul sat down behind them and wrapped his arms around their waist. They turned around and hugged him back, burying their face in his neck. 

"I'm having Kobra talk to Sandman," Poison muttered into his shoulder.

"Why? Nothing's wrong." Ghoul shifted and placed his chin on their head as they snuggled closer to him.

“You’re hurting.”

“I’m fine.” Poison pulled away and stared into his eyes, searching.

“Darling, I know you better than that. Something’s wrong, please tell me.” They brought their good hand to cup his face and stroked his cheek gently. Ghoul’s eyes flickered over their face, growing sadder with each glance, as if he were afraid of losing them. “Let me help you,’ they whispered as tears began to fall.

“I’m just so stressed,” he gasped, and they wiped away his tears as they came streaming down. “I’m so worried about you, you can barely stand up for longer than a minute, and you’ve been so worried about everyone else lately and I don’t want you hurting yourself more. Then there’s the run, and I’m so fucking glad you’re not going, and of course I’ll stay with you, but I’m just scared for Kobra and Jet and Cherri and Pony and hell, even the Juvies.” He paused for breath, his voice beginning to shake as he continued, “And fuck, I don’t know what it is about Sandman, but I can’t get everything out of my head, I just- I just keep thinking…  _ fuck _ .” He threw his arms around their neck, and Poison felt the cool touch of his tears as they soaked through their shirt. 

“Take your time, Darling, just let it out.”

“But that’s part of it,” he sobbed, “But I just keep taking my time and I feel like I’m taking too long, and that one day you’ll wake up and realize that I’m not worth any of this shit, and how much better you deserve, and that one day you’ll look at me different, without that light in your face, and you’ll leave me. And I’ll be alone. I don’t want to be alone. Don’t let me be alone.” Their heart twisted in their chest with every word. He was so much closer to breaking than they had thought, and they vowed not to let him. He couldn’t break, because that would break them.

“I would never leave you,” Poison whispered, “you’ll never have to be alone again. I’m never going to leave you, I promise.” They played with the ends of his hair and pulled back to look at his face. His cheeks were streaked with tears and his sad eyes looked anywhere but their face. “Fun Ghoul,” his eyes flicked to theirs, “I love you with every fiber of my being, I’m not going anywhere.” Ghoul’s face softened a little bit, and they kissed the tip of his nose, desperately trying to get him to smile. The corners of his mouth twitched upward and they kissed him again, then pressed their foreheads together. “I’m here for you. Forever and always, Darling.”

Poison pulled Ghoul in so he was right against their chest, taking handfuls of his hair. They felt Ghoul’s breathing calm down, becoming less ragged, and his eyes were closed as he wrapped his arms tightly around Poison’s waist, so much so it seemed he was afraid they would disappear if he loosened his grip. “Forever and always,” he choked out, against his partner as he pressed a soft kiss to their chest. Ghoul was going to be okay. They were going to make sure of it.

Poison and the others sat in the living room, Jet, Psycho, and Ghoul talking in a corner about guitars. Poison sat sideways in the armchair, sketching Ghoul as his face lit up with every word he spoke. They were slowly recovering, and could now stand a little before their legs gave out or their vision went dark. The couple had decided to come downstairs to join everyone else after a couple hours, cuddling together until Ghoul felt better and letting Poison have a short nap so they could regain their energy. Once they were awake again, Ghoul took them downstairs, when he was almost immediately grabbed by Jet. Psycho had joined them a moment later and Poison could tell Ghoul was bragging about Pansy. The glimmer in his eyes triggered a big smile on their face. That guitar was Ghoul’s pride and joy, he couldn’t go five minutes into a conversation with someone new without bringing her up. Or Poison, for that matter. Whenever they went somewhere as a crew, Ghoul would always meet someone, then find Poison and drag them over to introduce them, and would spend the rest of the conversation hanging off of them with adoring eyes. 

Poison loved to draw him when he got excited, his eyes lit up and his mouth would move a mile a minute, chattering on about strings and pickups and amps. They’d managed to get a few small sketches of Ghoul’s arms waving around, face bright and ecstatic as he spoke. Poison was so in love with that boy, with his laugh, his eyes, the way he said their name, it was all beautiful, every part of him. As they started adding his tattoos, they glanced up at Ghoul, lovingly sighing as they observed what Ghoul looked like when he laughed, the way his eyes scrunched up and he threw his head back, running fingers through his sable hair. Poison completely forgot what they were doing for a moment, just gazing at their fiancé with their mouth curved into a soft grin. It wasn’t long before Ghoul noticed, looking up and smiling at them cheekily, blowing a kiss, and mouthing ‘I love you,’ before going back to his conversation. They continued watching him, an adoring smile on their face until they heard footsteps up next to him. 

"That has to be the cutest shit I've ever seen." Pony stared over their shoulder at their drawings, a wild grin on their face. "I've never seen two people more in love, and I think it's going to kill me." Poison blushed, hugging their sketchbook to their chest. "I'm serious, you guys are perfect for each other."

"We are, aren't we," they sighed, gazing again at their fiancé. Ghoul glanced over at them again and smiled, that special smile he used only for them, all bright eyes and soft features. They smiled back, and Pony made a strangled squeaking noise behind them. “I’m worried about him,” Poison said once Ghoul returned to his conversation, “He’s letting so much get to him. I think he needs a break. We all do. And this doesn’t really count, we’re just prepping for something else. He’s so worried about me, and the run, and everything with Sandman and Kobra, and I just want to take him somewhere safe and not let him leave.” They closed their sketchbook carefully, checking that no pages were folded and that Pony couldn’t see inside. As much as Poison loved the Tumbleweed, their drawings were precious, personal. They stood up slowly, gently setting the book down in the chair and walked to where Ghoul and the others were talking. They came up behind him and slipped their arms around his waist, burying their face in his neck. He paused for a moment, taking their hands in his and pressing a kiss to their temple before continuing. 

“Anyway, but seriously, the pickups on her are beautiful. Like, you should hear the tone, it’s nothing I’ve ever heard before, I got so lucky finding that one. She’s basically the love of my life.” Ghoul stopped for a moment before squeezing Poison’s wrist softly. “Except for this one, I mean. They manage to knock my baby right outta the picture.” He began to trace circles on their palms, and they hummed into his shoulder. He was less stiff, not completely relaxed, but still not completely tense, and he relaxed even more into their touch, pressing his back into them as they clung to him. 

“Man, I dunno why Sandman doesn’t like you guys, all you do is just cuddle and be cute,” Psycho laughed, and Ghoul rested his head on top of Poison’s with a smile. Poison looked over at Psycho, smiling, and kissed under Ghoul’s ear. “Seriously, though, I got a vague idea of what happened from Sandman, but he’s got a nasty tendency to exaggerate things when he’s pissed.”

Ghoul let out a rough breath, tightening his grip on Poison’s wrists. “The bastard just completely fuckin’ tore us apart for a couple days. He got in the way of everything and got us both super mad and shit. Then he said some shit that got us hella insecure and it was a whole thing.” Poison chuckled softly, just barely lifting their face from Ghoul’s shoulder.

“I think you left out a few bits there, Darling. Are you okay with me telling him?” Ghoul nodded and they shifted so their chin rested on his shoulder, and kissed his cheek before starting. “We were the ones who he came across when he got shot, and fucking hell, he has terrible timing. I had taken Ghoul out there to help him calm down from a nightmare, he can tell you about it if he wants, and when Sandman showed up he recognized him from what happened with his parents,” they paused, pressing another kiss to his face and hugging him tighter, “And he got angry, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave Sandman out there just for his sake, so he took it out on me—which I don’t blame you for, Darling, it wasn’t your fault—and we fought for a few days, until I went out to get something and was basically jumped. At that point we both realized that the fight was just petty at that point and what we had between us was more important than what either of us had done.” Psycho nodded appreciatively, his eyes wide. Ghoul was tensed up again, the muscles in his shoulders going taut as Poison relayed their story. “You’re okay,” they said slowly, “you’re okay. I love you,  _ we’re _ okay.” Ghoul pulled their arms tighter around himself, shutting his eyes and resting his head on theirs.

“You don’t have to keep telling me if you don’t want to,” Psycho cut in, his eyes clouding with worry. Poison shot a glance to Jet and he nodded. 

“No it's fine," he assured the Juvie, "He caused a lot of tension between them but Ghoul can’t say he wasn’t a bit of an asshole back towards Sandman, did a lot to make him uncomfortable, and all that. Is Sandman usually adverse to people showing affection?" Psycho snorted.

"Not that I can remember," Poison raised an eyebrow. "Though it could be because of everything with uhh… Kobra." He looked worriedly at Poison, who shrugged. "He seemed almost jealous. Not of either of you, I think, but of what you have. He really cares for him, and I think Kobra's holding back, so he's really just wishing they were like you guys." 

“Kobra does as well,” Poison said after a moment, and Ghoul scoffed. They pulled one of their hands out of his and smacked his chest lightly. “You promised you’d be nice,” they chided, “Anyway, Kobra’s been really happy with Sandman, happier than I’ve seen him in years, and he does want it to grow, he’s just been really worried about us, and how Sandman being here has affected  _ our  _ relationship.” They wove their fingers back into Ghoul’s, leaning more heavily against him as their energy faded. “And I appreciate it and everything, but he’s happier, and that’s all I want for him…” their words started to fade out and Ghoul helped them sit down on one of the couches, making sure they were comfortable then burying himself in their side. “I want him to have what we have too. He deserves that much.” They wrapped an arm around Ghoul, fingers brushing against his arm softly.

“Yeah, he deserves it, I just wish it wasn’t with Sandman,” said Ghoul, emitting a soft groan. 

“I know you do, Darling, but it is, and we’ll just have to accept that, for Kobra’s sake.” they kissed the top of his head, breathing in the scent of his hair. He nodded slowly, playing with their fingers. “Kobra’s going to talk to him, he’s going to be better now.” 

“I could probably talk some sense into him as well, if you want,” Psycho offered, hesitantly. Poison glanced up at him and smiled hopefully. “So that’s a yes then?”

“That would be wonderful, thanks, Sugar.” Ghoul hummed in agreement and pressed his face into their shoulder, and they kissed the top of his head with a smile. Poison had a good feeling that from here on out, things would get better. That in the end, they’d be okay. Ghoul would be okay. And wasn’t that really all that mattered to them?


	9. Small Update/Minor changes

Ok hi! 

So this is not a chapter, obviously. And before you get worried, I'm not abandoning this fic! Ash and I having so much fun writing this, and since school was cancelled for a week due to the Corona Virus there will most likely be an update, maybe two, sometime soon!

However, due to some new ideas we had for Poison's arc, some minor changes will be made to certain scenes in previous chapters. They'll be done hopefully before the end of the day. 

See you guys soon! 

**UPDATE:** I highly recommend rereading the previous chapters. Not much was added word count wise but theres a whole new subplot that will become highly relevant in the next few chapters. It's very important for the development of Poison's character and their relationship with Ghoul and the others.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok sorry, late chapter i think, im not really sure, updates have never been regular have they? school turned out to take up more time than before quarantine, so things have just been slow in general. but! this chapter is really long, as in im pretty sure its nearly twenty pages, so theres that  
> this is a painful chapter and i apologize in advance
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: blood, mentions of rape/non-con, swearing, some kind of weird flashback dream thing with some dark shit

Part 9

###  Kobra

Kobra didn’t know how to feel. He didn’t want to mess up his relationship with Sandman, but if what Poison said was accurate, what he had said was getting to them and Ghoul. He was pacing his room, twisting his fingers and mussing his hair. Poison had asked him to talk to his… boyfriend? Could he be called a boyfriend? Was that what they were now? What the fuck was going on? A soft knock pulled him out of his reverie, and Kobra turned to see Sandman standing in the doorway.

“You alright?” His brow was creased with worry, and Kobra didn’t know how to respond, standing helplessly in the center of the room. Pushing himself off the door frame, the shorter boy came to stand in front of him and took his face in his hands. “What’s wrong, Dear?” 

“I- uhh… I need to talk to you. About Poison and Ghoul. And how you’ve been.” Kobra cursed his voice for shaking so much, he was trying so hard to keep his composure, to hide his anxiety about the conversation.

Sandman cocked his head in confusion. “What do you mean?” Kobra stared at him, eyebrows raised. 

"'What do you mean?' Sandman, you've been on Ghoul's ass this whole time, and according to Poison it's not as harmless as he's making it out to be." Sandman still looked a little confused, so he continued. “They said he’s close to falling apart.”

“I wonder how long he’ll last,” the shorter boy mused, stroking his chin in mock thoughtfulness. Kobra stared at him for a moment, stunned, then slapped his hand down.

“No! I mean a literal, full on breakdown. I’m pretty sure there’s already been at least one, judging by how clingy he’s been and how worried Poison was when they told me.” Sandman didn’t respond, and the last of Kobra’s façade of calm fell away. “This isn’t some fucking game, dammit! You don’t know what it’s like out here, shit gets bad, and it gets bad  _ fast _ . Ghoul’s the love of their life, if he falls apart, so will they. It would completely shatter them. They don’t like to think about how much they rely on him just to get through the day, but they do. Sometimes he’s the only thing keeping them going, keeping them alive. They need him, or they’d be in ruins. And guess what’ll happen if Poison breaks? Take a wild fucking guess.” He was pacing again, faster now and moving his hands around much more than before. If Ghoul broke down, Poison would have lost not only the love of their life, but also their best coping mechanism. It needed to stop.  Sandman was still in the middle of the room, tracking his progress with worried eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked hesitantly, and Kobra spun around.

“I’m not the priority here! I don’t know how to undo what’s happened, or fix it or whatever, but I need you to think about what's happening and the effects you can have on people. You don’t know what they’ve been through, ” He paused and took a breath, trying to calm himself down. “Just… try? Please? For me?” The pink-haired boy stood frozen, mouth hanging slightly open. Kobra watched him expectantly, and finally he nodded slowly, and Kobra smiled softly at him. “Thanks, Sunshine.”

“What happened to ‘love?’” he said with a mock pout, and Kobra ruffled his hair.

“Ghoul uses it for Poison and it feels weird now, plus Sunshine suits you so much better, don’t you think?” Sandman shrugged, the pout falling apart and being replaced by the bright smile that always made Kobra’s stomach flip. He really was adorable when he smiled, it lit up his whole face and the space around him. "You're so cute when you smile like that." Sandman's smile brightened even more, bringing one to Kobra's face. 

"I'll try and be better, Dear." The shorter boy held out his hand and Kobra linked their fingers together. 

"Thank you. They've both been through so much, they deserve so much better than all of this." Sandman nodded and stood on his toes to kiss the blonde's cheek. Maybe things could get better after all.

It was a couple hours later when Cherri had called everyone into the living room to make plans. They had to go to the Underground to get some supplies before the run, so he was just going over some ground rules and plans before they left. Kobra sat in the same couch he had last time, holding onto Sandman’s hand softly, Jet sitting on the other side of him and Psycho sitting on the armrest. Benze and Beauty were both on the floor in front of them, watching Cherri intently. On the other side of the room, Ghoul sat in Poison’s lap as usual with Pony sitting on the ground, leaning against the chair the two sat in. Poison was walking now and though they wouldn't be going on the run, Benze said they were welcome to come to the Underground with them. In fact, they might even be able to get them more medical help while they were there.

"We might even be able to get you a transfusion to speed up your recovery," Benze offered, "It'd involve needles, but it could cut your recovery time down by a lot." Poison glanced nervously at Ghoul, their face growing pale. "Ghoul can come too if you want, Jet told me a little about your phobias and I totally get it, you need him there." 

"Thank you, that would be great.” Ghoul leaned his head back and Poison rested their chin on his shoulder, leaning into his neck. 

“So,” Cherri continued, pacing in front of everyone as if he was a commanding army general. “We’ll be heading down probably tonight or tomorrow morning, we can grab some supplies we’ll need for the run, Poison can get their transfusion, and we’ll finalize details. We might be there for a few days, or longer depending on how well the run goes.”

“I’ll show you everything,” Sandman whispered in Kobra’s ear, “All my favorite spots, and where we keep the food.” Kobra grinned and leaned against the other boy, resting his head on his shoulder and squeezing his hand. 

“I can’t wait, Sunshine.”

A few hours later, everyone was preparing to leave for the Underground. Poison, able to walk but just barely was sitting in a chair, looking bored out of their mind since their fiance was currently helping people gather supplies.

“You need some company?” said Kobra, grinning and sitting down on the arm of the chair. Poison looked up gratefully, running a hand through their hair.

“You just saved my ass,” they said. “Ghoul’s too busy right now to love me.” They raised their voice at that sentence, making sure it was loud enough for Ghoul to hear. He looked over and stuck his tongue out, mocking Poison’s smug expression. “I really wish I was going on this run with you guys.” Their face fell a little.

“Well, you’ll be safe, and with Ghoul,” he offered, and they shrugged half-heartedly.

“I wish I could keep all of us here,” They stared wistfully at nothing, "Why would D drag  _ us _ into this? This is a classic Juvie run. They could easily get this done without us, and I wouldn’t have been shot and you wouldn’t have been either, and Ghoul and I would never have fought, and… but you wouldn’t’ve met Sandman, I suppose , and he seems to have been really good for you…” Their voice died away, and Kobra placed a comforting hand on their shoulder. 

"Hey, hey, we'll all be alright. Sure we got hurt a little, but you're getting married, and I've got a boyfriend now. We'll be okay." Kobra tried to offer as much solace as he could as Poison stared at him hopefully. Sometimes the weight of everything they had been through made him feel as though he were the older sibling, and had to protect them from the world rather than the other way around.

“I certainly hope so.” They pulled their knees to their chest, still staring into nothing. It was times like this when Kobra really wished he could see inside their head. How their thoughts worked and the things that made them tick. Sometimes they seemed so lost, drifting helplessly down a river with no way to steer or slow down. Ghoul glanced over at the siblings, the grin on his face fading as his eyes fell on Poison's vacant expression. 

"You okay, Gorgeous?" He sat down on the other arm of the chair, running his fingers down their cheek. They smiled softly, eyes still unfocused, and leaned into his touch. 

"I- I think so. Just anxious. And tired." They closed their fingers around his wrist and held his hand to their chest. 

"It'll be okay," he said, and they pulled him into their lap and curled themself around him. "Jet and Kobra'll be fine, and you'll get better."

"Yeah." They still sounded unsure, and Kobra gave their shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I just want us to stay safe. I wouldn't be able to take losing any of you. The three of you have just barely held me together, I can't live without you." Ghoul pressed a kiss to their cheek as their voice began to shake. Jet came over now, and sat down at the foot of the chair and Poison reached out a hand for his. He took it, and they smiled at their crew. "You're my family. I love you guys so much."

"We're here for you," Ghoul said, "Always." Kobra nodded, giving their shoulder another squeeze. 

"Hey, guys,” Benze called from the other side of the room, “We’re almost ready to go.” 

“Thanks!” Poison pulled their hand out of Jet’s and brushed Ghoul’s cheek with their fingers. “You’ve got to go finish helping, Darling.” Kobra stood and helped Jet get up, then held out a hand for Ghoul. The raven-haired boy groaned and pressed his face into Poison’s neck, who giggled and pushed him off playfully. “Go on, you’ve gotta help!” They tapped his nose lightly. “I’ll be waiting right here, Darling.” Ghoul accepted Kobra's hand, and Poison pulled him back for a kiss by the front of his shirt. Kobra suddenly decided that the ceiling was the most interesting thing he’d seen all day. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ghoul stand up and he gave Kobra a pat on the back before going to help the Juvies finish loading the bags into their cars. 

Dr. Death had promised Kobra’s bike would be safe if he left it there, so he climbed in the passenger seat of the Trans Am as Jet got in the driver’s side. Ghoul and Poison sat in the back, their head in his lap as he stroked their hair lovingly. They had wanted to drive, but the shorter boy had insisted that since they could barely stand, they shouldn’t be in charge of a two ton metal machine, and they had relented, on the condition that Jet drove instead. The same album from the drive there was still in the player, and Kobra could hear Ghoul singing along in the backseat, occasionally interrupted by a laugh from him or Poison, as he stared out the window.

They were so happy together. Kobra could remember the days when Poison would stumble into the diner, shattered to their core after some piece of shit had taken advantage of them, completely silent except for the tight sobs that escaped from their mouth. It was heartbreaking. 

Every few days they would disappear in the late afternoon, only to come back with fresh bruises and even sadder eyes. He had never even dared to hope to see them smile or laugh again, but just over two years later there they were, smiling almost constantly and about to be married to the boy they had been in love with for nearly twice as long. 

They had tried to describe what Ghoul was to them once, how they felt every time he smiled or laughed or kissed them it was like there were a thousand sparklers going off at once in their chest, and how seeing him sad or upset was almost torturous, like someone pressing two spiked boards to their body and squeezing them together. He hadn’t understood how it was even possible to love someone like that, he still didn’t. He loved his crew, they were his family, but he had never loved someone in that way, and he couldn’t imagine how someone, especially when they were as damaged as Poison was, could feel so strongly about a single person. But after meeting Sandman… he was starting to get it.

The Juvie’s car pulled into an old service tunnel that looked like it hadn’t been used in years, and Ghoul snorted. He rolled down the window as they pulled up beside the others, a grin growing on his face and motioning for Sandman to roll his down also.

“Hey, uhhh, I don’t wanna seem rude or anything, but I don’t want you guys sticking needles in my fiance if the whole place looks like this.” Benze glanced over at them from the driver’s seat and grinned. Kobra watched Poison reach up and tap his cheek gently.

“Just wait a minute, we’re not actually in there yet!” Sandman yelled over the sounds of the engines, and Ghoul flipped him off as he rolled up the windows

“I told you to be nice, Darling,” they laughed, and he smiled down at them.

“I just don’t want them hurting you, Love.” They looked at him with eyes full of stars, then curled their good arm around his neck and pulled their faces together.

“How could I be? I’ve got you here to protect me.” They whispered something else Kobra couldn’t quite catch and kissed him again just as the cars started rolling. They sat up and pulled themself into Ghoul’s side, arm still around his neck, and Kobra looked away just in time to see a section of the tunnel wall disappear. 

“What the fuck?” Kobra rolled down his window to get a better look at the wall, or rather, at the section of the wall that didn’t actually exist. Rows of projectors lined the opening, building up the image of a wall as the cars passed through it, completely indistinguishable from section to section from the wall that was really there. The Four stared at what they had driven into with open mouths. 

The road turned to the left, curving along the wall of an excavated area, in the middle of which an area several city blocks wide sprawled, full of life. Buildings of every color and style spread out around them, several stories high, no two like each other. It was so chaotic Kobra got a headache trying to comprehend what was going on. Bridges and sidewalks extended through the air, people talking and laughing as they walked along them. A few cars were parked off to the side, and Jet followed Benze as they tried to find a space. Kobra saw Sandman get out of the car before it was even fully stopped, his eyes bright as he bounced on the balls of his feet. He came up to Ghoul’s window and tapped the glass with a shit-eating grin before gesturing to the city behind him. 

“Not so shitty now, is it?” Ghoul rolled his eyes as he helped Poison out of the car, careful of their bad arm as he pulled them up. 

“Oh, fuck off,” he muttered, burying his face in his fiance’s neck. The pink-haired boy grinned, the tip of his tongue sticking out between his teeth. Shit, he was adorable. 

“Hey Sunshine,” Kobra laughed as he got out of the car, “You said you’d give me the grand tour of this place right?” Sandman’s smile brightened and he linked elbows with the taller boy.

“Absolutely! Gimme half a second, okay?” He stretched and pressed a kiss to Kobra’s cheek, then bounced over to talk to his crew for a minute. 

“So things seem to be going well between you two,” Jet commented as he pulled bags out of the trunk, “I’m glad you’re happy.” Kobra smiled at him as Sandman came back.

“You ready? The guys’ll help your crew get settled while I show you around.” The blonde nodded, and Sandman grabbed his hand and pulled him toward a set of doors. “This isn’t really all that much, just where we keep cars and the smaller weapons and stuff. The Underground is arranged in a sort of up-side-down tower thing. There are six levels, each of them about three storeys tall and about the size of four city blocks. There’s a road around the outside of everything and a bike path, so you can get from level to level that way or you can take the elevators around and shit. This is technically the top level, but you can go up to street level in certain places where we’ve got fronts or just entrances to the city. This next level is where the infirmary is and where we work on all our tech. A lot of what we’ve got here is stuff stolen from BLI that we’ve made actually useful, like the Tube. That’s what BLI calls the machine that reconditions you, but we’ve tinkered with the structure and coding of it so it can help recover lost memories or deal with trauma.” The doors opened and Sandman pulled Kobra out into the second level. Two large buildings were surrounded by several smaller ones, and a few corridors carved into the exterior walls of the cavern led out of the main area. 

“This is incredible! How long did it take you guys to do all of this?” Kobra couldn’t stop staring at it all, the colorful chaos that somehow all fit together. Nothing was pure white or black, and none of the buildings were the same style. He saw something that looked almost victorian, and then another one that didn’t have a single square corner, with strange angles and rounded edges. 

“I think a year for the excavation and then probably four for most of these buildings, but we’re constantly adding new shit and getting rid of old stuff. It’s kind of how you pay for stuff around here. Sure, we use carbons when we deal with the desert, but it's a bit different in here. We’ve got a system where if you need it to live, you’re automatically given it, so no paying for food or clothes or any of that shit, then if it’s something extra like paints or an instrument you just go on like a run or two or work on some construction for a month or so, or if that’s not really an option for you, like if you lost a limb or have trouble in high stress situations, you can just go help out at the schools or something like that. It gives people something to do and keeps the buildings in good shape, and prevents us from having any real classes here. No one’s overly wealthy and we don’t have people starving on the streets, and if we ever need more space, we just dig out. The earth protects us from any major radiation and anything BLI could throw at us.” 

Sandman kept explaining how everything worked, occasionally stopping to introduce Kobra to someone they walked by with a “it’s great to see you, what’s up? This is my boyfriend!” Everytime Sandman called Kobra his boyfriend it made something in his chest flutter, and when he told Sandman about it, he grinned and pulled their faces together, and Kobra found himself kissing the smaller boy for the second time, and he didn’t want to stop. Eventually they stopped to get some food before rejoining the others, and Sandman asked about Poison.

“So… Can I ask what’s up with Poison? I don’t want to seem rude or anything, but sometimes it seems like you guys are babying them.” Kobra set down his fork, piled high with pasta, and sighed.

“They’ve had a rough time. Not so much lately, they’ve gotten so much better thanks to Ghoul, I’d almost consider it a miracle. They’re so good for each other, he’s putting them back together. But before him, they were a mess. They were in so much pain and felt so lonely they did anything to escape from it. They would leave the diner just before sundown and come back in the morning in tears, a lot of times covered in cuts and bruises, and wouldn’t speak or touch anyone for days. They never told us what happened, except maybe Ghoul, but only very recently, but they started to gain a reputation. How they would never say no to anything, and eventually we put the pieces together. The last time they went out, they were gone until well into the afternoon. They stumbled into the diner just before sunset, sobbing their eyes out with ropes still on their wrists and their back ripped to shreds, wearing nothing but a bloodied bedsheet.” Kobra couldn't bring himself to say what had actually happened, it wasn’t his story to tell, but Sandman seemed to understand what he was saying.

“Holy shit. I have been a major asshole. I’m so sorry I had no idea, do you know if anything I said may have…” his voice died out but the implications of his words hung heavy in the silence between them. Sandman’s ever-present happiness seemed to have been finally put out, his face clouded with worry. 

“I’m sure Ghoul would’ve let you know if you had. But since he hasn’t killed you yet, I think you’re good.” The barest hint of a smile grew on his face, and Kobra grabbed one last bite of food before grabbing Sandman’s hand. “Come on, we should go find our crews.”

###  Poison

Poison couldn’t believe the things they were seeing. When they had pictured the Underground, they had imagined it dark and dirty and cramped, not bright and open and colorful. They were still leaning heavily on Ghoul as they walked, their arm over his shoulders and his around their waist. He would spot something he thought they would like and stop in his tracks to point it out with the cutest smile they had ever seen. They would spot what he was talking about and kiss his cheek as they continued to walk, running their fingers along the skin of his neck to make him laugh.

“I wish we were here at a better time,” they sighed, “We should come back. When I can walk without you holding me up and we don't have some mission hanging over our heads.”

Ghoul smiled big, pressing a quick kiss to Poison’s temple. “You know I don’t mind holding you. But you also know I’m never opposed to more alone time.” He raised an eyebrow at Poison, who laughed and pressed their head to his.

“I hate you so much,” they said, laughing at their fiance. “You’re such a nerd.”

Ghoul rubbed circles with his thumb into Poison’s side and they sighed at the sensation. He really was such a sweetheart. How’d they possibly get so lucky with this boy? This boy with his kind heart and goofy smile and infectious laugh. Everything about him was so great. Poison felt their smile stretch as they glanced down at their feet. They looked back over at Ghoul, pressing their cheek to his. “You’re perfect,” they murmured softly, feeling Ghoul’s cheek stretch into a smile. They felt his hand tighten for a second on their side as they melted into his touch, enjoying his warmth. His grip relaxed once he realized they weren’t going to collapse right then and there, and they rested their head on his shoulder. 

Ghoul’s hand slipped down their side until it rested lightly on their upper thigh, and suddenly all Poison could feel were cold, rough fingers digging like nails into their skin. Lights danced in their vision. Their head began to spin. They were being pulled into a room, the hands still holding their hips like vices. Their whole world was spinning. They were underwater. They were falling. 

A gentle voice cut through the chaos, soft hands held their face. Blinking away the stars, they focused on the bright green eyes staring into theirs. Ghoul’s eyes. They had always loved those eyes, from the first moment they saw them. They were so  _ alive _ . They were alive and they were  _ safe _ . Ghoul’s eyes were safe. Ghoul was safe. He made them safe. Poison was safe.

“...Poison, Love, I’m so fucking sorry. Are you alright?” he was holding their face, brushing away their hair and tears that had fallen. They were on the floor, their legs sprawled out underneath them. “Are you okay? Poison?” 

“I- I’m fine, I think I’m just having a bad day is all. I’ll be fine.” Ghoul pulled them to their feet slowly, carefully touching them as little as possible. “I’m fine, Darling. It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean for anything to happen.” They gave him a small smile and ran their fingers down his cheek. “You’re alright, okay?” Ghoul still looked unsure, and Poison rested their forehead on his and said softly, “If I wasn’t okay would I be able to do this?” They slowly pressed their lips to Ghoul’s and he smiled.

“I’m so sorry, Beautiful,” he repeated. They kissed him again then slung their arm over his shoulders to keep themself from falling. Things like this were always exhausting, even under the best circumstances, and their head slowly began to throb. They finally noticed Jet and the others standing off to the side, the expressions on their faces ranging from confused to almost horrified. 

"I'd hate to bring anything bad up," Psycho piped up, "but what the fuck just happened? You stopped in your tracks and started muttering and then just fell to the floor. It was wild, are you okay?" 

"I'm fine, I just…" Poison looked to Ghoul helplessly.

"I accidentally triggered some trauma from a few years ago. It didn't seem too bad, considering, but if they say they're fine, they're fine." He placed his fingers on their back hesitantly, and they leaned into his touch once more, needing the comfort his hands always brought. The attack had taken a toll on Poison, and their muscles were tired and beginning to shake as they continued the micro-tour of the Underground. With each step they leaned more heavily on Ghoul, and he pulled them closer into his side, kissing their cheek sweetly.

“I love you,” they sighed, “thank you for being there for me.” The group came to stop as they waited for an elevator, and he turned to face them, taking their hands in his.

“Of course, always, Gorgeous.” He smiled and kissed their forehead, then the tip of their nose, and they tapped his with a giggle.

“Hey there, Prettyboy, never thought I’d see your face again,” a voice called out, and Poison turned on instinct to the source of their nickname. And froze. 

They had never expected to run into him again. They had never wanted to run into him again. He looked the same, bright orange hair, cold blue eyes, not a single emotion on his face but malice and hunger. Their hands began to shake in Ghoul’s, and they could dimly hear their fiance calling their name, but they couldn’t tear their eyes off of him, frozen as waves of terror crashed into them. 

Twisted Faith came to a stop just a few inches from them and took hold of their chin.

“Do you still have those pretty little scars I gave you?” He grabbed the back of their shirt and tried to pull them to him but Ghoul slapped his hand down and gently guided Poison’s face so they looked at him.

“Poison. Hey, you’ll be okay. Whoever this asshole is, I won’t let him hurt you.” They nodded slowly, still unable to speak. Ghoul flashed them a quick smile and squeezed their hands before sizing up the newcomer. “And who the fuck are you? Can’t you see how uncomfortable they are?” Twisted Faith sneered and grabbed Poison’s arm, pulling them into him as they struggled to get free.

“How could you not tell them about me?” He crooned into their ear, “‘D you not want your little  _ boy-toy _ here getting jealous?” Tears were streaming down their cheeks, their skin crawled and burned wherever they touched him. Jet and the Juvies still stood by the elevator, unsure of what to do.

“Put. Them. Down.” Ghoul took a step toward them, keeping his eyes locked on Poison’s. 

“If they want me to put them down, they’ll tell me, and who the fuck do you think you are to be making descicions for them?” Twisted Faith pulled them closer and stepped back farther, getting dangerously close to a corner he could disappear around. One of his hands was gripping their arm, while the other travelled up and down their body, similar to the way Ghoul’s would, but lacking any affection or care, simply a symbol of possession. With a simple touch and a few words, he had reduced them to an object, something to be played with and abandoned as he saw fit.

“I’m their fucking husband, you sick son of a bitch.” Ghoul’s gun was out, the end of the barrel inches from Twisted Faith’s face, but the taller man just laughed.

“So you finally managed to find one stupid enough to stick around, huh? I think you need another night with me, just so you know who  _ really _ owns you.” His breath was sour and their stomach began to turn as they fought harder, twisting around in his grip in a futile attempt to escape to some far off place where he wouldn’t be able to find them. “You know,” his mouth was so close to their ear they could feel his lips and tongue on their skin, “he  _ is _ rather pretty, I wonder how he’d look all tied up and defenseless… I’m going to-” Poison’s elbow connected with his jaw, and for a second his grip slackened, just long enough for them to push off of him and onto the floor, scrambling to get behind where Ghoul stood, gun still raised. Their knees gave out and they fell to the floor, using their legs to push themself against a wall, where Jet and Beauty quickly stepped in front of them, their guns out now as well.

“You stay the fuck away from Poison. Do you hear me? I don’t care if you’re literally bleeding to death and they’re the only person around for miles, you don’t even come  _ near _ them, or I will ghost your ass so hard the Phoenix Witch herself won’t be able to find you.” Twisted Faith broke into a sprint, running as fast as he could away from Ghoul and the others, and a shot rang out. Smoke rose from the bottom of his leg, and he fell to the floor. Ghoul dropped his gun and rushed to Poison’s side, and they buried their face in his chest, loud sobs echoing through their body. “Hey, hey, you’re okay, you’re going to be okay. He’s not going to hurt you again.” They curled their fingers around his jacket as he wrapped his arms around them carefully. 

“That was him.” their voice was hoarse, as though they had been screaming for hours.

“What do you mean?” Kobra’s voice said from their left, “What the fuck is going on?”

“He was the last one.” They heard Ghoul suck in a breath and he held onto them a little tighter. “Please, Ghoul, get me out of here!” their voice was rising in panic again, and he rocked back and forth slowly, whispering things they couldn’t hear and gently kissing the top of their head.

“It’s alright, I’ll keep you safe. You’ll be okay, my love. Is everyone here either a psychopath or an asshole? ‘Cause one of you let that monster in here, and the Witch only knows who else he’s hurt.” He spoke harshly off to the side, and they flinched a little at his words. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, love. I’ll find you somewhere to rest, alright? You can lay down and sleep or I can read to you if you want me to, is that okay?” They nodded slightly and pulled themself closer to him, focussing on his heartbeat and breathing in an effort to calm down. Benze said they needed to try and stay calm, to keep their heart rate down until they recovered. So they focused on him, on the boy that held them close to his chest with much more care than they deserved. On the hum of his voice as he talked aimlessly to them, on the scent of wood and smoke that always lingered on his skin, on his calloused fingers gently brushing the tears from their face.

“He was going to hurt you.” It finally hit Poison, what Twisted Faith had said, what it meant. “He was going to do to you what he did to me. He was going to break you, maybe kill you. He certainly didn’t mean for me to live.” They didn’t mean to sound so defeated, but not a single part of them felt anything but hopeless. What if they weren’t meant to live? What if they were on borrowed time and at any moment the Phoenix Witch came for them, taking their friends to make up for their lost time? 

“He can't hurt you anymore, it’s okay.” they studied Ghoul’s face, drinking in every detail like they would never see him again. He was so beautiful. They had never met anyone like him before, and they doubted they ever would again. 

“I’m not worried ‘bout me, I couldn’t give less of a shit about me. He could have hurt you. I can’t let you go through that. I can’t ever let you feel like this.” They pulled out of his grip and wrapped their arms over their chest, nails digging into the skin of their arms. Ghoul looked like he was about to cry, and gently placed his hands over theirs, weaving his fingers through theirs. He pulled their hands away from their arms, and they winced at the crescent-shaped marks that had blossomed on their skin. “I feel so powerless, like I can’t do anything, and I can never let you feel that.” 

“It’s okay, we’ll all be okay. I’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.” he buried his face in Poison’s shoulder and they rested their forehead on his, staring at their linked hands. At the beads wrapped around their wrists, glittering in the lights.

“It’s over now, he can’t hurt either of you,” Kobra offered, still keeping a careful distance away. Poison made a noncommittal noise at the back of their throat and pulled themself closer to Ghoul.

“We should get you somewhere where you can lay down.” Jet came over and pulled Ghoul to his feet, and Poison stood up with him, swaying as their head began to spin. They leaned on Ghoul as they followed the Juvies to where they’d be staying until their knees began to buckle and he caught them.

“I can walk,” they murmured blearily as he carried them, “Put me down, I can walk.”

“Maybe, but if you think I’m going to let you after all of this, you’re insane. You can barely speak, my Love.” He pressed his lips to their forehead, soft and warm and safe. They tried to find the energy to protest, to insist that they would be fine, but the spinning in their head combined with the warmth of Ghoul’s body cradling theirs seemed to be sapping it all away. 

“Love you,” they whispered as sleep began to close around them, “more than anything.” 

_ Bright lights twirled in an elegant dance around them as they sifted through the crowds, picking out someone with bright orange hair and eyes an icy blue. He didn’t look like much, just another face in the crowd trying to fill the empty nights. They bought him a drink, he bought them two. Two turned to three, then four, then five, and they flirted. It was their first night out in weeks, Kobra had barely let them out of his sight after last time, so they flirted like they hadn’t had sex in months. The lights and drinks and words blurred together, painting a picture of a world before disaster. _

_ They were draped like a ragdoll over his shoulder, his arms around their thighs and their hair pulled out of its updo. Had they kissed him? They probably had, he was cute. Not like Ghoul was cute, no he wasn’t the kind of cute that made their knees weak and their heart absolutely melt, but the kind of cute that radiated innocence, the kind that put people at ease. He was taller than them, but only by a few inches, and seemed to enjoy their company. Their whole world was spinning, but could hear voices as he walked, warped and distorted by the haze in their brain until it lost all meaning. _

_ Ropes. Ropes on their wrists and around their ankles. Tied and pulled so tight they could barely move. They were standing, if they could call it that, unclothed, in a room lit only by the candles that flickered on top of the tables next to them. The sound of humming echoed from behind them, and the familiar claws of fear gripped their chest. _

_ Their whole body was on fire. Everything seemed to ache and throb, the blood gilding down their skin burning everything it touched. It would calm down after a few seconds, but then explode outward, starting in their back and rushing in waves all the way out to their fingertips. Hair clung to their tear-stained face, brighter than the candles on the table. The pain slowly died down to a dull pulse that travelled through their body with each heartbeat. Hands clawed at their hair, forcing their head up and their eyes open. The bitter tasting cloth was ripped out of their mouth, and the hands that had held their hair drifted to their cheeks. He crushed their mouth to his, grinding his teeth on their lips until they bled. One hand returned to their hair, the other remained. His face twisted into a cruel smile. _

_ “Such a pretty little face you’ve got there.” They spat the blood out of their mouth, straight into his face. He hissed and backhanded them across their cheek before roughly tying the gag over their mouth again. He moved out of their line of sight, and the pain erupted once more. _

_ They were tied up again, spread-eagle on their back. Their entire head was clouded with agony. Whatever he had done to them, was  _ still  _ doing to them, had covered them in sweat and blood. They felt pain exploding throughout their entire body, their vision blurry, barely able to focus on the devil’s spawn positioned overtop of them. Poison felt tears burning down their face, red locks stuck to their forehead and cheeks. They squeezed their eyes shut as they tried hard just to bear what was being forced on them. They had already fought enough and it hadn’t worked. Might as well just take it, it’d be over sooner. _

_ Poison was breathing fast, their heart pounding at the speed of light, trying in vain to rip focus away from the man above them. They tried to focus their thoughts, on a single image. A single person. Fun Ghoul. The one piece of comfort they clung too throughout this whole ordeal. Every Time they went out they thought of him. He kept them sane, kept them breathing. All they could do now was think of him. His eyes, his laugh, the beautiful patterns inked onto his skin. Only Kobra knew what he meant to them.  _ How much _ he meant to them. They could only hope for a fraction of what they felt to be returned.  _

_ The hands grabbed their chin, forced their eyes to meet his. They searched for that innocence they had seen earlier, finding nothing but cold hunger and malice. The icy blue was just that—ice. Briefly, Poison felt hands in their hair again, yanking hard at the strands, pulling at their tender scalp as they felt harsh, rough lips meet theirs, proceeding to bite and suck at their jawline and neck. They’d be marked up for weeks, a constant reminder of the mess they’d got themself into. _

_ His ragged breath echoed in their ears, hot and sour and loud. The pain became unbearable, and their vision went dark.  _

_ Whispers filled their ears. Their hands and feet were cut free. They stared at the three ‘Joys in the room, then wordlessly searched for their clothes. Except for them and the blood on the sheets, there was no trace of what had happened to them. The table, candles, even their clothes were gone. The ‘Joys made no further attempt to help them, and they nearly cried at the prospect of getting back to the diner on their own, but they didn’t think they had any tears left. Taking one of the sheets and wrapping it around themself the best they could, they gave a nod to the ‘Joys, who had now huddled in a corner, and stumbled out the door to find their way home. _

_ The familiar sounds of Ghoul’s guitar filtered through the diner as they pushed the door open.  _

_ “Ghoul?” The guitar faded away as they croaked out their last words for weeks. “Ghoul?” Crashes echoed behind the back door, and Ghoul burst out from behind it, his eyes wide. They let out a strangled noise as their legs gave o2ut, and he just managed to catch them before they hit the floor. “Ghoul…” _

_ “Poison, holy fuck what happened?” his hands began to shake as he took them in, collapsed on the floor, wild hair, a bruise growing on their face, covered in blood and sweat and tears. It took all they had not to burst out sobbing and tell him everything, and if he kept looking at them like they had died they might, so they simply curled their fingers into his shirt and buried their face in his chest. The tears they didn’t think they had left came pouring out, soaking his shirt as they clung to him. He sat frozen for a moment, then placed a hand on top of their head protectively and began to hum softly. His other arm came to rest on their back and they hissed and flinched away. They felt the sheet slip down their back and heard Ghoul suck in a breath. He tried to move it a little more and they pulled back, shaking. “Hey, hey, hey, I know this is probably terrifying as fuck, but if that’s even half as bad as I think it could be, we have to get you cleaned off as best we can, or that shit could get infected.”  _

_ His hands reached for them as if on instinct, but he seemed to think better of it and stuffed his hands in his pockets as they tried to calm themself down. They were being completely irrational. This was  _ Ghoul _. They trusted him with their life. He would never do anything to hurt them. Slowly, painstakingly, they nodded. Ghoul sighed in relief and sat down behind them, carefully peeling away the fabric. They hissed anytime the sheet brushed their skin, but Ghoul was careful to keep his fingers off of them and to stop before he revealed too much. _

_ “Holy fuck.” They couldn’t see what he was looking at, but it still hurt like a motherfucker, and by the tone of his voice, it was bad. “Holy fuck, I’m so sorry. What happened to you?” _

_ Poison just shrugged, starting to shake slightly as Ghoul went to grab a bottle of disinfectant and lightly rubbed their back. They couldn’t bring themself to speak, to say anything at all. They just wanted to crawl in a hole and never speak to anyone again. It felt like there was a missing part of them. Like that man had stolen something important. Something they highly doubted they’d ever be getting back, despite not being a hundred percent sure what exactly it was. Ghoul’s touch, usually so wonderful, usually giving them such an all around euphoric feeling… seemed to be stripped of all comfort. Everything Ghoul’s touch once did for them was gone. So they just squeezed their eyes shut, trying to keep their intrusive thoughts at bay as Ghoul tried hard ro clean their harsh wounds as gently as he possibly could. _

_ “You know, I really do wanna help you,” said Ghoul as he went to get almost all of the remaining gauze to try and cover Poison’s back. “And Kobra and Jet… they're gonna want to help. Especially Kobra, you saw him last time this happened. But we can’t help if you don’t talk to us.” _

_ Poison just shrugged again. The idea of speaking seemed to physically hurt them as Ghoul pressed a little harder on their back to get the wounds covered. It scared them to think about Kobra’s reaction. Ghoul was right, Kobra hadn’t let Poison out of his sight for weeks. Trying hard to make sure they didn’t sneak out to sleep with some other madman and get themself beaten to death. Ghoul finished dressing their back, then moved to sit in front of them and began to clean their face. He started to hum again as he worked, mouthing the words to a song he whispered under his breath. They stared blankly through him and tried to focus on what he was singing.  _

_ Though he had tried to avoid it, Ghoul’s fingertips eventually came to brace their face as he cleaned the bruise on their cheek. Poison sucked in a sharp breath, looking down into their lap. They closed their eyes, trying to will themself to stop shaking as Ghoul stopped immediately, tensing up and moving his hand. Ghoul furrowed his brow, placing his palm on the floor near Poison. “What happened…?” he whispered, his voice with more raw emotion than Poison had heard in quite some time. _

_ “Ghoul? You still alive?” Jet Star’s voice rang through the room as the door to the diner opened once more. He was seemingly shocked by the sudden silence, especially considering the anxious state Ghoul was left in.  _

_ Ghoul looked up as Jet and Kobra made it within their sightline and he said quietly, his voice completely broken, “Poison’s back.” _

Cold tears were streaming down Poison’s face, their heart beating faster than it had in years as they shot up. Ghoul’s arms were around their waist, holding them tightly to him. The warmth from his body, usually calming, felt like it was burning, each point where their body touched his crawled. Poison tried to breathe, to calm themself. This was  _ Ghoul _ for the Witch’s sake. Fun Ghoul. They’re fiance. The love of their life. But in the end it all became too much. Poison couldn’t handle the touch anymore, quickly getting up, untangling from Ghoul’s arms and into a secluded corner, where they pulled their knees close to their chest. They’d be safe now. Safe within themself.

###  Ghoul

Mornings in the Underground had a whole different feel than mornings in the desert. In the desert, Ghoul often woke up completely drenched in sweat due to blazing mornings but here… here he found himself shivering softly, pulling blankets up over himself. Of course, it didn’t help that most desert mornings also involved him and Poison, tangled in each other’s arms, squeezing each other tightly. Then Ghoul realized something. Where  _ was  _ Poison? Them in his arms would have a far different feel than the pillow he was hugging to his chest now. He sat up frantically, all traces of drowsiness gone. Poison was huddled in a corner, their knees pulled to their chest and their arms wrapped around their ankles. 

He sat down in front of them, and watched as their glassy stare slowly focussed on his face. Their golden eyes, usually bright and animated, were now dull and sad. Ghoul’s chest tightened painfully as they pulled their legs closer to their chest, and he longed to wrap them in his arms and just hold them until they felt better, but he sighed and moved back a little to give them more room, and they smiled gratefully at him. 

“Are you okay?” Why had he asked that? Of course they weren’t okay, they were reliving probably the worst night of their life, and there was nothing he could do to help other than keep them from feeling alone. “Sorry, that was a stupid question, do you want me to read to you?” They nodded and he pulled a book from his bag, then grabbed a blanket for Poison and one for himself. As Ghoul started to read, memories of them practically curled around him as they listened began to surface, tantalizingly close yet lightyears away. He almost stopped, it hurt so much, but he knew they needed that sense of normalcy to cope. He would have given anything for yesterday to have never happened. For them to be still in his arms, smiling and laughing and kissing him. He shifted so he leaned against the bed and paused to catch his breath. His eyes met theirs, and they still held all of the adoration they always did, but now it was tinged with sadness and fear. A knock sounded at the door.

“Hey, how are they holding up?” Kobra came in, gently closing the door behind him. He sat down next to Ghoul and Poison gave him a wan smile. “You said he was the last one?” Their face fell, and they nodded slowly. “ _ Destroya _ , I’m so sorry, P. If it helps, Ghoul shot him and the Juvies have him in lockup.” They nodded again and smiled softly at their fiance, whose chest warmed as he smiled back. He wanted to take their hand, to make them feel better. They still didn’t say a word, and Kobra shot him a worried glance. They hadn’t been this bad in years, since the days after they first were attacked. It had taken weeks for them to speak again, and even longer before they could touch anyone. That was before Ghoul had told them he loved them, and they had gotten better faster after, but it had still been slow and heartbreaking. 

“I can get you a pen and some paper if you want to draw or write something, Love.” Poison nodded and Ghoul grabbed their sketchbook and pencils and set them on the floor by their feet. They took it and immediately flipped to a fresh page and began to write. After a moment they stopped and turned it so he could see.  _ Thank you, I love you _ . Their handwriting was sloppier than usual, their letters less smooth and shakier. “I love you too,” he whispered, and the soft smile returned to their face. “I’ll be here the whole time, whatever you need.” They started to write again, slower this time.  _ I’m scared, I hate this feeling, _ they wrote,  _ I want to go home. I want to touch you, but it hurts.  _ “I know, I know, it’s okay.” he turned to Kobra, who was sitting to the side, watching them silently. “I can go get some food if you guys want a minute.”

“Thanks, the cafeteria’s up one level. If you get lost you can just ask someone, ‘most everyone here’ll help you out.” Kobra shifted to where Ghoul had sat, and the shorter boy closed the door softly behind him as he went to grab the food.

Sandman stood outside the door, writing something in a notebook which had snapped shut as soon and Ghoul opened the door. His face lit up, then closed off when he saw who it was.

“How are they?” Ghoul was tempted to make a remark, but the pink-haired boy seemed genuinely concerned, so he just sighed and played with one of the braids Poison had put in his hair. 

“They’re doing surprisingly well I think, they can’t touch anyone and they’re not talking, but they smiled, and when I got them something to write with, the first thing they wrote, told me they love me, so I think they’ll be alright sooner rather than later.” He fiddled with the beads around his wrist, it was becoming more and more of a habit now to play with them, as if he’d always had them, as if they were a part of him. 

“That’s good,” Sandman’s voice was full of sympathy, “I don’t know exactly what happened, but from what I did see and what I got from Jet and Kobra it was awful.” Ghoul stared at the other boy, suddenly reevaluating every opinion he had formed of him, and nodded absently.

“Yeah, yeah it was.”

“I’m sorry. I was an asshole, and Kobra told me that a lot of what I said was really shitty, and I realize I’ve been a major dick to you guys when you’ve tried your best to be at least civil to me, and I’m sorry.” He shuffled his feet awkwardly, staring at something on the floor Ghoul couldn’t see. He didn’t really know how to respond. Sandman sounded genuine, and he was getting tired of having his life constantly poked and prodded by the Juvie, but how could he know that it wouldn’t go back to the way it was before?

He finally settled on a curt “Thanks” before walking off to grab their breakfasts.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This feels like it took a lot longer to write than the others, but here's a long ass chapter for everyone!  
> School closure got extended to the 29th, so there might be another chapter soon, but I really don't know  
> Thanks, as always, to my wonderful friend Ash for helping me write this, I would be lost without them

###  Kobra

Kobra sat with Poison while Ghoul went to get food and studied the shell they had become. All of the energy had drained from their body, and their skin, usually pale, and even more so from their injury, looked almost grey in the light. Their hair hung in their face, either from running their fingers through it or not having the energy to push it away. They had started drawing, holding the sketchpad close to their chest, sketching thick, angry lines. They almost seemed like a child, curled up in a corner with sadness and fear in their eyes. 

Kobra hadn’t said a word since Ghoul left, couldn’t figure out what to say. The last time this had happened, with the same guy, it had been worse, they couldn’t even draw, it was weeks before they could bring themself to touch their sketchbook, but that didn’t make this hurt any less. 

"What do you need?" He tried to keep his voice as level as possible, to avoid showing how scared he was. "Can you explain what happened?" They paused in their sketch, staring blankly at the page they were working on. "If you can't it's alright I-" They turned the sketchbook around and Kobra's voice died. 

They had drawn themself, but broken and twisted and  _ wrong.  _ Their body was thin and grotesque, each feature exaggerated to the extreme. Marionette strings extended from their joints and faded out into the sky. Their face, which they generally avoided drawing, but always took such care in capturing their own features, was lifeless. Their hair had fallen in their face, and their eyes were nothing but black pools, empty and without emotion. The space where their mouth should be was blank, the skin still stretched over where their teeth would be, but their mouth was gone. Their body was positioned like an image from one of the old religions, their feet brought together and their arms stretched out as their head hung back and to the side. 

He stared in horror at the drawing, its meaning hitting him like a train. They didn’t feel human, didn’t feel like they had worth. Ghoul had said they had made similar drawings before, but he had never seen them. Ghoul had only been able to glimpse them as he helped them burn the book they were in, but he said they were horrible, some of them showing what had happened, others simply showing the people they had been with, portrayed as monsters and gods. 

“Holy fuck,” Kobra’s stomach turned as he studied the drawing more. “Are you going to show Ghoul?” Their eyes widened and they shook their head feverently. They pulled back their sketchbook and started writing.  _ He’d be devastated, I can’t let him see it.  _ “He’s going to want to know though,” he pressed, and they shook their head again.  _ He can’t see them. _ “If you don’t show him I will. He needs to know.”

“Who needs to know what?” Ghoul and Jet came into the room, both carrying trays of food. Poison sat frozen for a minute, then their face lit up as they shoved their book behind them. “Hey Gorgeous, brought some food.” He smiled at them and Kobra shot them a look. 

“Just that Poison’s not really feeling well,” Kobra assured him, and he set down the trays he was holding next to them and sat down as close to them as he dared and studied them worriedly. They glared at him then switched their focus back to their fiance.

“Hey, I know you’re hurting, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but I won’t let anyone hurt you again, okay? I’ll keep you safe, I’m not going anywhere.” They smiled softly and raised a hand as if to cup his cheek, but curled their fingers around their palm again and lowered it slowly. Kobra took one more look at their sibling then grabbed the tray of food Jet handed him.

“How are they doing,” he asked, his voice low.

“I- I’m not sure. They could be worse but-” he glanced back over at them, smiling at Ghoul with a hand placed protectively over their sketchbook. “They’re drawing, but,  _ fuck _ , Jet they’re  _ dark. _ ” His voice started to shake and he steadied himself. “They don’t want Ghoul to see it, which I think is bullshit, he deserves to know, but they don't want him worrying too much.”

Jet’s eyes were wide with worry, obviously recalling the last time Poison was in a state similar to this. “It’s that bad?” Kobra nodded and Jet sighed before continuing, “At least they have Ghoul this time. Last time none of us could get near them, remember? They just kinda… wasted away. Now they’re letting someone in at least. As for the drawings… I agree with Poison?”

“What?” Kobra tried to hide his shock as much as he possibly could. Jet was supposed to be the middleman, the reasonable one when the rest of them were going crazy. How was it reasonable to not show Ghoul how terribly inhuman his fiance felt?

“You know how Ghoul gets,” persisted Jet, leaning against the wall next to Kobra. “He jumps to conclusions. He’ll freak out, kill someone or something. Poison’s fragile enough as is and adding that to us leaving soon, we can’t leave them with an unstable, angry, barely thinking straight Ghoul. Let them decide when they want to show him.” 

“I guess…” It still didn’t sit right in his chest, but it was  _ Poison’s _ emotions, they would tell him, they always did. Jet wrapped an arm around his shoulders and Kobra sank into him. 

“They’ll be alright.” 

Kobra and the others sat around a table, Benze, Cherri, and Jet talking quietly at one end, and Poison drawing while Ghoul looked on at the other. Sandman sat on Kobra’s left and was playing with his fingers as he chatted aimlessly with Beauty and Psycho, who sat across from them. 

“I don’t think I should go,” Kobra muttered, “I should be here for Poison.” Sandman paused and studied his face. “They’re not doing well right now, and I’m really worried about them, I don’t know how much help I’ll be.” 

“You said they’re doing better right? Ghoul’s there for them this time. They’ll be alright for two days. You’re our best fighter, we need you to come.  _ I  _ need you to come.” He rested his head on Kobra’s shoulder and twisted to look up at his face. “Please.”

“I’ll think about it, but I really don’t think I should.” He tapped Sandman’s nose and smiled softly. “I appreciate it though, thank you, Sunshine.” 

“Anytime, Dear.” he sat up and kissed Kobra’s cheek and the taller boy pulled their chairs closer together and wrapped an arm around his waist. 

“Heads up!” Ghoul called, just before a balled up piece of paper hit Kobra on the side of the head. He glanced over to where the other boy sat and watched as he dissolved into giggles, Poison beside him with their head on the table and their shoulders shaking. Ghoul made eye contact with Kobra and pointed at his fiance. Kobra snorted and Sandman uncrumpled the paper. It was one of Poison’s sketches, showing Kobra and Sandman at the table, their fingers twined together as Kobra smiled at their hands.  _ I’m glad you’re happy _ was written in the corner in Poison’s elegant handwriting. 

“Thanks, Pois, it’s beautiful.” They lifted their head and grinned as Ghoul watched with a soft smile. 

“They’ve been working on it this whole time,” the dark-haired boy crooned, “you two have to stop being cute, they’re ignoring me.” He pouted dramatically and they tapped his head with their pencil. He stared at them for a moment with a curious expression, then his face fell and he shifted slowly away from them. Their eyes followed him and they reached for him again before they wrapped their arms around their middle. Kobra had to get them some gloves or something, both of them were miserable. At least then Ghoul could hold their hand.

“Poison, we could get you gloves,” Kobra offered, and their face lit up, “maybe it could help.” They nodded, the smile growing on their face. They turned to their fiance, their eyes beginning to fill with tears. 

“I’ll get you some as soon as this is over, promise,” Sandman cut in, and Kobra kissed the top of his head. Poison looked like they were about to cry, and were nodding furiously. It may not be a permanent solution, but at least while they were in these early, volatile stages of healing it could help more than even Kobra could probably even fathom.

Kobra and Sandman were searching the storage rooms for gloves, tossing aside fingerless ones or anything that could be too thin. Poison sat near the entrance to the room they were currently searching, tapping their long fingers on any surface they could reach. Ghoul sat next to them, alternating between singing to them or reading from a book he had brought. 

“Thank you for helping me with this,” Kobra said, taking Sandman’s hands, “Seriously, I think this could help them a lot, I really appreciate it.”

“Of course, they’re suffering, and you are too. I couldn’t  _ not _ help after they nearly cried when you suggested it.” The shorter boy squeezed his hands reassuringly and Kobra pulled him in for a quick kiss. He was slowly getting used to the way Sandman made him feel, and it was wonderful. Years of isolating himself from everyone, even his sibling, had put a weight on his chest he hadn’t realized had even been there until Sandman started to lift it off. 

“Thank you,” he said again, his eyes closed as he felt Sandman’s forehead press against his, “For everything.” the shorter boy pulled him into a hug before he stepped back. “We should keep looking.” He had a few pairs tucked in his pockets, ranging in style and material from leather work gloves to lace gloves probably used in parties before the wars. He grabbed one last pair, black satin that would extend nearly to their elbows, and took a seat across from Poison and laid out everything he had grabbed. 

They immediately gravitated toward the black satin ones, and pulled them on with shaking fingers, carefully pulling the strand of blue beads that matched Ghoul’s over them. They fit, for lack of a better expression, like a glove, and they stared at the inky fabric and flexed their fingers for a moment before turning to Ghoul. They brought their hands so they were barely a hair away from touching his face, fingers still shaking. Their eyes flickered back and forth between his and their hands, but Ghoul’s remained focussed on their face, and Kobra could see the beginnings of tears forming. Finally, after what seemed like decades, they let their gloved fingers brush his skin. When they didn’t flinch away, a hoarse sob escaped their throat, the first sound they’d made since they had fallen asleep. They looked back at Kobra, tears in their eyes, and mouthed  _ Thank you _ before focusing again on Ghoul. Their fingers brushed over his cheeks and they looked like they wanted to just smash their lips on his, right then and there. But they didn't, they only ran their fingers over his cheeks, a smile Kobra thought he’d never see again gracing their features.

Ghoul pressed a hand to Poison’s gloved one, smiling and tearing up as well. He pulled Poison’s hand down and ran his fingers up to their elbows where the glove ended. They tensed as his fingers neared the end of the fabric, but he made sure he never touched their skin. “That’s the best feeling in the world,” he said, as Poison took their hand to touch his face again, slowly dragging it across his jawline. “I love you,” Ghoul said quietly, closing his eyes and embracing the feel of Poison’s nimble, satin-covered fingers on his flesh once again. “I love you so much. So fucking much. I love you. You know that, right? You know you're literally the best part of my life and I love you to pieces?”

Poison’s smile grew, if that was even possible and they nodded slowly. They mouthed  _ I love you, Darling  _ and pressed a kiss to their gloved fingers before pressing their fingers to Ghoul’s lips softly. They let their fingers run across his lips briefly before they took his hand and smiled big. 

“Do you feel any better?” asked Kobra, squeezing Sandman’s hand as he spoke. It was a stupid question, he was well aware, but he needed to say  _ something _ .

Poison nodded slowly, their fingers curling around the curve of Ghoul’s cheek. They let go of his hand and stretched one out for Kobra, who took it, and squeezed it gently. They returned their hand to Ghoul's and Kobra suddenly felt he was intruding on something. Sandman must've felt the same, he began to fidget and wouldn't let his fingers rest. 

"We're just going to…" words failed him, but Sandman stepped in and helped pull him to his feet. 

"We're going to go check in with the others, I'm sure there's new stuff they have for us on the run by now." He tightened his grip on Kobra's hand and dragged him out of the room, only slowing down when they had left that area altogether. "Holy shit," he laughed, glancing back the way they had come as if to make sure they couldn't hear him, "I mean, I saw them attached to each other, pretty fuckin' obvious honestly, but  _ damn, _ that was intense." He paused for a moment, as if weighing his words, and Kobra's stomach twisted, preparing for another biting comment. "I wonder if we'll ever be like that..." His voice was so incredibly soft, Kobra almost didn't catch it, but the wistfulness in his words was unmistakable. "They were so lost to each other, it was incredible." 

Kobra shrugged and smiled at his feet, saying quietly, matching Sandman’s tone, “That’d be great. They’re really happy most of the time. I’ve wanted something like that since they got together… I really hope we can be like that.” 

Sandman’s face lit up and he swung Kobra’s hand with a bounce in his step. They walked in silence for a little bit, Kobra feeling Sandman’s thumb rubbing the inside of his wrist. Eventually, Sandman stopped in his tracks and Kobra was slightly alarmed. Sandman was completely still. He was never still. He looked at Kobra with a slightly anxious expression and he raised an eyebrow. Sandman sucked in a deep breath before making direct eye contact with Kobra.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

###  Ghoul

Ghoul hadn’t said a word since Kobra and Sandman left, just sat with Poison and enjoyed the sensation of their gloved fingers on his skin. They hadn’t let go of him, constantly making contact with some part of his body. It felt amazing, even the one day of not being able to hold their hand and watching them shy away from everyone had been agonizing. One of their hands was clasped around his, and the other was tracing the lines of his face as they studied him. Love and affection poured off of them in waves, and he longed to just wrap his arms around them until they felt better, but they wouldn't want that, so he focused on their hands. The satin was cool and smooth, and their feather-light touch was calming. 

"I love you," he whispered, and took their free hand in his other one. "More than anything.” They smiled and shifted so they were closer to him, the smallest of spaces between them. They just sat like that for a little bit, enjoying the feeling of being hand in hand, the feeling of each other. And then Poison’s breath caught, they looked at Ghoul’s eyes, with their brow furrowed and then looked down immediately. “Hey, what is it beautiful?”

Poison dropped Ghoul’s hands and grabbed their sketchbook, quickly turning to a blank page, stopping at one just a moment too long that Ghoul flashed a suspicious look at his fiance. What was that? It didn’t look like Poison’s typical drawings, but he didn’t want to question them right now, stress them out anymore than they already probably were. They grabbed their pencil and started writing, slowly and gracefully.  _ I’m sorry. _ Ghoul’s eyes widened and he looked at Poison confused. “For what?”

They passed their arm across their eyes, wiping tears before finishing writing.  _ For this whole situation. For doing this to you. For not fucking  _ talking _. I don’t know why I can't, I just can’t bring myself to. I’m sorry for torturing you like this.  _ Ghoul gaped at Poison’s words for a moment, the way their elegant characters crafted the image of what they believed was happening. Torture. That’s what Poison thought they were doing to Ghoul. They thought they were torturing him by having trauma. Ghoul honestly didn’t even know how to respond, how do you comfort someone who feels like this? But he managed to open his mouth, with the smallest curve to his lips as he said,

“That’s the word you’d use for it, huh? Not exactly what I was thinking.” They chuckled softly and he took their hands again, still thrilling at their touch. "But Poison, don't ever,  _ ever _ feel like you need to apologise to me, hell, to  _ anyone _ , for your trauma. It was  _ not  _ your fault. It never was, it never will be.” Ghoul didn’t know when he had started crying, but tears had begun to fall, and Poison’s hands cupped his face again, catching the tears in the soft fabric as they stroked his cheeks. He closed his eyes and leaned into their touch, bringing one of his own hands up to grasp theirs. He felt the tip of their nose brush his and tried to pull away, but they held fast to his face and hummed softly. They pressed their forehead to his, and he sucked in his breath. Their fingers travelled across his face and down his neck, the now damp satin sending shivers through his body. “It wasn’t your fault.” The tears began to fall again, slower this time, and his throat began to close up, but he had to say it again. “Don’t ever even  _ begin _ to think that it was your fault. Those fuckers  _ chose  _ to do those awful things to you. It’s not your fault.” Poison pulled back slowly, golden eyes shining with tears. They brought their fingers to their lips, then pressed the dark satin to his. “You’ve got to be tired, Love, I’ll walk you to bed, alright?” They nodded slowly and accepted the hand he held out.

Poison still hadn’t let go of Ghoul’s hands, and pulled him with them onto the bed. They sat face to face, cross legged, with his hands in theirs. They had pulled one of his shirts from their bags and put it on, though now they were wearing it Ghoul thought it was actually something of theirs he had stolen. The sleeves ended at their wrists and the shoulders actually fit them, when it had always been at least a size too big for him. 

They ran their fingers along his tattoos, the seams of the gloves catching just a little on the sharper lines. Each time their fingers stuttered, their breath caught and they’d flinch. He wanted to take their face in his hands and tell them it was okay. It would be okay. They would be okay. He wanted to run away with them to some far off place where no one could hurt them again and hold them until they were better. He wanted to hear their voice again, he missed their singing, their laugh, the way they said his name, like it held the secrets of the universe. He missed the feeling of their mouth on his, of their arms around his waist when they danced, of their fingers in his hair. He had never known it was possible to miss someone so much when they were sitting right in front of him. But he wasn’t going to say or do anything that would make them feel guilty, they already felt bad enough due to the situation they were currently in. So instead they just squeezed his hand, running his fingers over the beads on their wrist and smiling, their face lighting up when Ghoul smiled.

“You know, I think that might actually be your shirt,” said Ghoul, playing with the hem on their sleeve but being careful to not let his fingers brush their skin. “Yeah, I think I might’ve snatched it from you a year or two ago… ‘Cause you left for a run and it smelled like you and I just never gave it back.”

Poison chuckled softly as Ghoul talked. The look in their eyes was filled with all the love and adoration in the world and that encouraged Ghoul to keep on talking. “Well, now it’s been a couple years, it probably smells like me now. I assume that's why you grabbed it.” Poison nodded and smiled and Ghoul felt his gaze soften at the sight of a genuine smile from Poison. They would often tell him how much they absolutely loved the sound of his voice and though Ghoul himself didn't see how it was possible to enjoy the sound of him rambling on and on, he kept going for Poison who, if nothing else, needed to hear him speak. The look on their face screamed ‘Keep talking!’ and though it was internally killing him to not hear Poison’s soothing tone in response, he kept going. The sooner Poison healed the sooner they'd talk again.

But he missed the playful rasp of Poison’s voice. Only hearing yourself for hours on end became tiring and frustrating and though he didn't want to show it, he really didn't want to hear himself for much longer. He wanted to hear Poison. Poison talking about the things they were so passionate about, their paintings, their sketches, anything really. Poison singing at the most random of times, their beautiful voice carrying for what seemed like miles, completely mesmerizing Ghoul every time they took a breath. The way they sounded when they talked to him, talked about him, telling him he was beautiful, he was perfect., just saying anything to him. The way they called him ‘Darling’ at the end of almost every sentence directed at him. He never thought he’d miss hearing that stupid name so much.

But despite this all, Poison was healing. They were trying their best and they had been doing incredible before that fucking asshole had came and destroyed all their progress. But this time around, Poison was engaged. They had Ghoul. He was going to do what he could to help them close that chapter of their life for good no matter what it took. He’d stay with them until they were fine on their own again, he’d do whatever he needed to do so Poison could once and for all say all that happened to them was in the past.

Before long, Ghoul had checked if Poison was okay to just draw for a while. They had nodded and Ghoul pressed a kiss to their gloved hand before getting up to find Jet. He loved Poison with his whole heart but he needed to actually get a response from someone he spoke with. So he got up, blowing a kiss to Poison before leaving the room, seeing them smile and scrunch their nose adorably in response. He sighed happily and went, finding Jet working something out with Cherri. Ghoul had stopped by them, looking to Jet with an anxious expression on his face.

“Hey Jet, uh, I know it's a horrible time but I really need to talk to you.”

Jet looked up immediately, smiling at his friend. “Yeah, of course.” He went with Ghoul until he stopped just outside of the exit to where they were staying. “What’s up?”

Ghoul bit his lip, frowning. “It’s Poison. You know I love them, I really do but… I don't know, it’s just tiring. And I miss the sound of their voice. I just… I know I shouldn't be feeling this 'cause it’s  _ their  _ trauma and it's in no way their fault but it’s got me questioning myself a little. That I can't fix them. That they can’t fucking… they can’t fucking  _ touch me _ . Or talk to me, for the Witch’s sake.”

Jet nodded, looking off for a second before meeting Ghoul’s eyes. “Look, Ghoul… As much as you may want to, this isn't something you can just fix. This is real trauma, real  _ bad  _ trauma. They were raped. That’s not something that’s just gonna pass. And I know you want to help them, but there's nothing you can really do but be there for them. And you've been amazing at that, you're honestly the best partner they can have right now. But just… try not to take it too personally. It’s not because of you, it’s ‘cause of the assholes that hurt them.”

Ghoul leaned his head back and ran his fingers through his hair. “I know. It’s just hard to see the person you love more than literally anything and see them scared to touch you. It hurts. A lot. But I can’t tell them that without risking them feeling even worse. The last thing I wanna do is hurt them even more.”

“They’re trying though, I was watching during the meeting, this is just as painful for them as it is for you, most likely even more so. Did you get them gloves yet?”

“Yeah, the first thing they did was hold my face,” he smiled softly, “I had to talk them into letting go of my hand so I could come talk to you.”

“There you have it then, they’re trying. They’re already recovering a thousand times faster than before. Just be patient with them, they’re stronger now, I wouldn’t be surprised if they got better within the next week or so. Don’t give up hope.” Jet had barely finished speaking before Ghoul threw his arms around him, needing the warmth and stability the taller boy always brought. “They’ll be okay, they’ve got the best fiance taking care of them.”

“Ghoul? Where’s Poison?” Kobra stood in the doorway, Sandman close behind. 

“They said they would be alright for a few minutes, so I came to ask Jet for advice. I should be getting back to them right now, actually.” He quickly thanked Jet for his advice, and Kobra followed him back to the room he shared with Poison. 

“What were you thinking? You can't just leave them alone right now!” His voice was gradually getting louder, harsher.

“They told me they’d be alright,” he said, planting his feet and turning to face the blonde, “I trust them to know when something’s wrong.”

“You-” he hesitated, then lowered his voice. “When have they ever been honest about how they’re feeling during this shit? Of course they told you they’re fine, they don’t want to worry you! You’ve got to ask them,  _ really ask  _ them how they’re feeling. Make them talk to you.” Kobra’s words hit him like a punch to the gut. Something bad must’ve been going on, he’d never been him so panicked before. His stomach twisted painfully, but he tried to keep his composure.

“If they weren’t fine, they would tell me. And if they can’t yet, that’s okay too. I trust them to tell me what I should know.” Kobra opened his mouth, then closed it again and threw up his hands. “I’ll talk to them, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?” Kobra sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You’ll thank me later.” Ghoul didn’t know what that meant, but by the time he went to ask, Kobra was already halfway down the corridor. 

Ghoul collapsed face first into the bed with a groan. After a moment, fingers began to run through his hair and he turned to face Poison. They smiled softly at him and cupped his cheek with a gloved hand. 

“How are you doing? Honestly? Don’t you dare lie to spare me.” Their brow furrowed and their hand stopped. They grabbed their sketchbook, the pen hovering just above the paper. They stared into his eyes, then set down the pencil and flipped back through the book. With shaking hands they held it out for him, then pulled their knees to their chest. Ghoul watched them with worried eyes then looked down at the drawing. 

They had drawn themself splayed out on a dark surface, hands that more closely resembled claws digging into their skin. Their face should have been clearly visible, but there was nothing there. Small cuts littered their skin, bright red against the monochrome sketch. Blood flowed from every place the hands made contact, and though it was a still image, Ghoul swore they gripped harder every second he stared at them. 

When he finally looked up from the drawing, his eyes were swimming with tears. Poison looked heartbroken, and they took his hands in theirs, holding them like a lifeline. 

“How- how could you see yourself like that?” They stared and their linked hands, tears slipping down their face. Reflexively he reached up to brush them away, but he stopped just before his fingers touched their skin and slowly lowered his hand. They watched him, the tears continuing to fall, then grabbed his wrist and brought his hand to their cheek. They tensed for a second and he pulled his hand away but they put it back. “Are you sure you’re okay?” They nodded and leaned into his touch with a shuddering breath. “You are so much more than what those assholes did to you, d’you hear me? So much more. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. You’re so strong. You’ve been through so much shit, and all it did was make you kind. You’re so beautiful and smart and sweet, sometimes I’m not even sure you’re real. But you are, and every part of me is completely in love with you. You’re the best fucking thing to ever happen to me, and I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re not worth it, because you are.”

Poison closed their eyes for a brief second. The only response they gave was a soft sob, they opened their eyes again and mouthed,  _ I love you _ . Ghoul wanted so badly to kiss all their tears away, to grab them and kiss them and make them feel better. But he'd take what he could get, and Poison was trying so hard to get any comfort they could from Ghoul’s hand on their face, definitely something that was very hard for them. 

“Poison, I love you so much,” Ghoul said, trying himself now to keep his tears at bay. “You're this incredible, amazing, kind, funny, absolutely gorgeous person. You're everything to me, you're so much more than just a pretty face, just a nice body. Yeah, that's part of you but you're so much more. You're probably the most intelligent Killjoy I've ever met. And it’s safe to say nobody’s ever loved me so intensely. Look, if you can't see yourself as anything else… see yourself as  _ my  _ partner. My partner who I love and cherish and spend every waking hour just wanting to make happy. The things I’d do to take this weight off of you, Love…”

Poison leaned back, off of Ghoul’s touch, against a wall. The touch had become too much for them and Ghoul was trying to think of Jet’s words, to not take it personally because they were  _ trying _ . They had tried so hard just now. They wiped their eyes with the sleeves of their shirt. With puffy, red eyes they gazed at Ghoul, kicking out their sketchbook towards him. He picked it up hesitantly, looking at them as if he was asking permission. They nodded and Ghoul carded through it, seeing some similar drawings in the more recent pages. Of them with strings attached to them, them as a doll to be played with and discarded as people saw fit. Ghoul remembered when he had helped them burn a sketchbook around a year ago. It was completely full of images that looked exactly like this. They didn't see themself as human anymore. They had lost every ounce of their self-worth, that they fought so hard to get back. They saw their own self as nothing more than an object. A sextoy. That was all they were to the people who hurt them. That was all they were to their own self.

“Poison… Poison, my Love…” Ghoul just whispered. Poison just shook their head, now shaking as they watched Ghoul go through the sketchbook. And with a boost of adrenaline, Ghoul took the pages, and just ripped them out. He could barely control his own limbs as he ripped the pages, crumpling them as he threw them to the side before looking back at Poison, a rage in his eyes he didn't even know was there until he saw the apparent fear in theirs. Once he spoke, his voice was angrier than he intended, but it only got the point across even better.

“This? This is not you,” he said, holding out one of the drawings he had torn out. “This. Is. Not. You. You hear me? It’s not. You know who you are?” They took the sketchbook and went to the earlier pages, finding one of Poison’s drawings from a couple months ago. It was of the two of them together, Poison’s smiling face prominent as they've ever really drawn themself. “This is you. This… this beautiful, cheerful, person. My partner. My fiancé. That’s who you are. You're not an object, you're not a doll, you're  _ not  _ a product of the people that raped you. You are Party Poison and you're beautiful.”

Poison’s eyes were wide, slightly tinged with fear at Ghoul’s aggression. But soon that faded and turned into adoration. The look on their eyes thanked him, the soft smile on their face managed to cause him to sit back and toss the sketchbook forward. “I just wish you were able to see yourself the way you used to. Or the way I do. You’re so fucking gorgeous and I know you used to know that. I want you to take your life back. Show the people that hurt you that you're stronger than the Poison they remember, that you're stronger than they'll ever be. ‘Cause Poison, I know you. And I know how strong you are. You’re incredible, so you should go and be that incredible person I know you are.”

Poison moved forward again, wrapping their arms around Ghoul’s middle, leaning their face onto the sleeve of his shirt on his shoulder. He felt their hair press into his neck and he sighed. They were trying. They were going to get through this. He'd make sure of it. Ghoul softly closed his eyes, enjoying Poison’s touch. He rubbed their back softly but after a moment, took his hand away, realizing how tense Poison had started to get. He immediately let go, pushing Poison off of him.

“Fuck, I’m being inconsiderate,” he said, letting go of Poison’s arms. “You’re overwhelmed.” It was obvious in their face, a look of panic graced their features as he spoke. “You're… you're doing this for me. You're trying to speed up your healing for me. Please don't. I miss being able to hold you, but if you try to rush this then I’m never going to be able to. Please don’t try to rush yourself.”

Poison leaned against the wall again, gazing at Ghoul with an anxious expression on their face. They’d forced a lot of contact and it had only been a day. Naturally they were overwhelmed. And exhausted. 

“You really should go to sleep, beautiful. You’ve had a really long few days.” They nodded and moved back over next to Ghoul and laid down, facing him. He smiled, going out to reach for them before moving his arms back to his side. Poison mouthed,  _ I’m sorry _ but Ghoul shook his head and said, “No, you're healing. Don’t apologize.” They brushed their fingers against his cheek, then took hold of one of his hands, gently tracing the ink on his knuckles. “I love you,” he whispered, “more than anything.” Their fingers slowed as their eyes drifted shut, and they hummed softly. They fell asleep slowly, their fingers still wrapped tightly around his. He watched as their breathing slowed and they pulled his hand closer to their chest. 

Ghoul watched Poison sleep through half-lidded eyes, stared at the gloves that went up to their elbows, the way their breath escaped their lips in little puffs, how  _ young _ they looked when their face relaxed. He always forgot how young they were, with everything that had happened to them. No one really knew exactly how old everyone was, but they couldn't have been more than twenty. He himself was somewhere around nineteen.

What a fucked up world they lived in, where teenagers could experience so much trauma, and no one even knew how old they were, one of the most important and celebrated things before the Wars. But here they were, clinging to each other for dear life, so desperate for something safe.

They still maintained a hard grip on his hand, holding it as close to themself as they could. He wished he could pull them closer to him, wished they were healthy again. He just missed them so much. It had only been a day, but in that one day, to just see how broken Poison had become… it was heartbreaking. To see the shell of who they were. He’d do anything to help them, to make it better. Especially since in the past day, he was just so damn sad. Watching Poison broke his heart, made him feel helpless. Like he couldn't help the one person he loved. It was scary almost, watching them decay. 

If he was being honest, this whole situation was a lot to deal with. Adding the resurface of Poison’s past onto their injury plus the anxiety of the run was quite overwhelming. He just needed a break from the chaos of everything. A break from life for a second. A break from… No, fuck, he couldn't think that. Was he really about to admit he needed a break from Poison? How could he say that, he loved them more than anything. It wasn't possible that he  _ actually  _ needed a break from the love of his life. Unless…

Ghoul really was thinking too much now. He just needed his mind to shut off for a second. Was he falling out of love with Poison? Was that what was happening? Was that even something that was possible for the two of them? Ghoul felt his heart start to race as he pondered the thought. He couldn't be falling out of love with them, he couldn't. They were getting  _ married _ for the Witch’s sake. They were engaged. It was definitely too late to back out now. And with the state Poison was in, how much they depended on him currently… they wouldn't be able to handle it if he fell out of love with them. They needed him, especially now. What if Poison did something to themself over him? He wouldn't be able to live with himself. He didn't know how he'd live with himself if he pushed them away. He was barely holding it together after a day, how would he last the rest of his life? The thought of living without them… his stomach turned uncomfortably and he shook his head to clear it. 

He needed to sleep. He brushed a strand of red hair out of Poison's face, careful to keep his fingers away from their skin. They were so peaceful when they slept. He gave their hand one last squeeze, which brought a small smile to their face, then let sleep take him.

_ Ghoul was being pulled along a pure white corridor. Hands clamped tightly on his arms and handcuffs bound his wrists. He tried to remember where they were taking him, but each hallway looked exactly the same—cold, clean, blinding white. They pushed him through a door, which shut smoothly behind him, any trace of its existence gone. Ghoul sat down on a cot in the corner of the room just as a voice began to speak. _

_ “William Fowler. Age twelve. Found to have dangerously low levels of medication-” a loud tone interrupted the voice, making Ghoul groan and clamp his hands over his ears. “Sentenced to seven days in solitary confinement followed by reconditioning.” _

_ “You fuckers can kiss my ass if you think I’m going to sit here for a week and let you drive me insane.” He flipped off the camera he knew was in there somewhere and turned to face the wall.  _

_ Three days. He’d been in that room for three days. The only way he would tell time was the voice that came on every six hours to announce the time and remind him of his “wrongdoings.” He had done everything he could think of to pass the time, exercise, singing. At one point he had even scratched his skin open just to see some color. Today he had ripped his shirt to strips and started weaving them together. The scab on his hand cracked and blood seeped out. He paused in his weaving and pulled the rest of the scab off, staring at the red liquid as it flowed down his fingers. He moved to stick the scrape in his mouth, then paused. He pressed his finger to the cut, letting the blood collect on it, then traced his finger along the wall.  _

_ Four letters.  _

_ Three letters.  _

Fuck you. __

_ Seeing the letters on the wall filled him with an odd sense of pride. They hadn’t broken him yet.  _

_ Two hours. He had two hours left. Each day he picked the scab open again and marked it down, each time the voice came on he’d mark it down. When he reached the twenty seventh announcement he started counting each minute. Then each hour. With two hours left he started going through everything he knew.  _

_ His name was William Fowler. He was twelve years old. He hadn’t taken his medication in six months. As soon as he got out of here he would find his parents and leave. He’d go to the desert. They wouldn’t be able to find him there. He could do whatever the fuck he wanted and no one could stop him. His name was William Fowler. No. William Fowler was the name of the kid so hyped up on drugs he could barely move his face. That wasn’t him anymore. He needed a new name. Something that sounded like it came from the desert. He stared at the walls, matte white covered in lines of his blood. He had had a name before this, something that had come to him in the middle of the night. If he could just remember it… _

_ Someone burst through the door.  _

Ghoul blinked his eyes open slowly, feeling fingers running through his hair. Poison was sitting cross-legged next to him, a gloved hand clinging to his, and another one untangling his hair.

“G’morning, Love,” he mumbled, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he gazed up at his fiancé. Thoughts from last night briefly resurfaced. The thoughts that he might possibly be falling out of love with Poison. What an idiot he was, there was no way he was any less in love with this beautiful person than he was two years ago, even two weeks ago. They were soulmates, how did he doubt that for even one second? “‘D you sleep well?” The corners of their mouth twitched up as they shrugged, and he sat up to get a better look at them. "What happened? Are you alright, relatively?" They shrugged again, and he held out his other hand for them to take. They accepted and folded their hands around his. "Was it bad? And be honest please, you've got to stop worrying about me and start worrying about yourself. Was it bad?" They shook their head and squeezed his hands. "That's good. Nothing popped up from pushing yourself?" They shook their head again and smiled softly at him. 

Poison reached for their sketchbook, one hand still holding onto Ghoul. They started to write and then pushed the notebook towards him.  _ Are  _ you  _ okay, Darling? You were shaking.  _ Ghoul bit his lip. Poison was going through enough already without needing Ghoul’s shitty childhood stories. Plus they already knew most of it, there was just a little that he didn’t plan on letting them in in anytime soon. So he just shook his head and placed both his hands over the hand Poison’s that was writing. “I’m fine, beautiful.” Even if they weren't saying it, just seeing them write ‘darling’ felt incredible. He could hear their voice in his head and smiled softly at the thought. He still had himself wondering how he had even for a second questioned his love for them. He must've been  _ really  _ exhausted. “Keep writing, I wanna talk to you,” Ghoul prodded. He wanted to keep as much normalcy as he could in this situation.

Poison made a face, as if they were considering whether to question Ghoul anymore. But they just shook their head and took their sketchbook to write more.  _ Thank you for doing this.  _

“Staying with you? Of course, I’m here for you, whatever you need, Gorgeous.” He squeezed their hand and they smiled, brushing their fingers down his cheek.  _ I love you.  _ They paused, taking a shuddering breath before continuing.  _ I haven’t ever told anyone. About that night. What he did. _ Tears began to form in the corners of their eyes, but they wiped them away with shaking hands and kept writing.  _ I still don’t know exactly what happened, there must have been something in my drink. Whatever he did hurt like hell. Sometimes he would stop and pull my head up by my hair and kiss me until my lips bled. When I fought back he slapped me. After that he- _ the pen slipped out of their fingers and they looked fearfully at the paper. “Hey, hey, hey.” His stomach had twisted with each word they’d written, and he just wanted to pull them into his arms. This was the man who stripped away all of Poison’s self-worth. Ghoul was going to kill him for what he did to them. “It’s okay. He can’t hurt you anymore. You’ll be okay.” He took their hands again and pressed his lips to their knuckles. “I’m sorry. I’m gonna kill him for hurting you. I’m going to fucking murder him and rip his corpse to shreads.” Poison looked at Ghoul with a grateful smile before going to write more.

_ I love you. But you already shot him, maybe he’s an asshole but he’s still human. _ Ghoul’s jaw dropped at Poison’s words. This guy destroyed them and Poison was fine with not doing anything, just chilling and letting him run free. “No, I’m telling you. I’m going to murder that son of a bitch. Nobody hurts my partner and gets away with it.” Poison smiled, but the look on their face shouted ‘Darling…’ in the most condescending way possible. “Poison, I love you to pieces but you always let people walk all over you. You let people hurt you. And that’s where I come in. My job is to make sure you don’t do that to yourself anymore. And if you think I’m just gonna sit here while you let people take everything from you, then you obviously don’t know what you got yourself into, proposing to me.” They traced the tattoo on the inside of his forearm, one that they’d initially written there. He’d woken up one morning with their elegant handwriting on one of the last open spaces on his skin.  _ I Love You Always ~ P _ . He’d gotten it done almost immediately, and though he was running out of blank skin, he refused to go anywhere near it with a needle again. 

“I’m sorry I exploded last night, I shouldn’t’ve done that,” he whispered, “I scared you. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry I- I don’t know what came over me, I-” They held a finger to his lips, then let their fingers glide down his cheek. They scribbled a few words down on their sketchbook.  _ You were right though. You were just trying to protect me.  _ “I shouldn’t have exploded though, what if I had hurt you? What if I had-” They shushed him again then wrapped their arms around his neck and pressed their forehead on his shoulder. “Can I hold you?” They nodded slightly and gave a small hum, so he pulled them closer, nearly crying at the familiarity of their touch. They still smelled like they always did, still felt the same. Their shoulders tensed for half a second, their breath catching, and he moved to let them pull away, but they held on tighter and melted into him. 

He buried his face in their hair, trying to hold back the emotion building in his chest. He hadn’t realized how much he needed to be near them until he couldn’t.

“I missed you,” Ghoul nearly sobbed, “Fuck, I missed you so much.” Poison wove their fingers into his hair and hummed softly. “I love you. I won’t force you into anything, but Destroya, I missed you.” They lifted their head and pressed a kiss to his cheek. His breath caught in his chest as they caressed his face. “I would give anything,  _ anything _ , for you to be better. I miss listening to you sing, seeing you happy.” He hesitantly brought his fingers to their cheek, his eyes beginning to blur with tears. Poison got up and Ghoul sucked in a sharp breath at the loss of their body on his. They took their sketchbook and flipped to the last page they had been writing on and began to scribble their elegant handwriting onto the paper.

_ I know this is hard for you, but I want you to know that I love you and I’m honestly trying my best. Please please please don’t blame yourself.  _ Ghoul’s face was blank as he looked at the paper and felt Poison’s left hand drumming on his thigh. 

“What do you mean?” he said stupidly. Who was he kidding? He knew exactly what Poison meant. They playfully rolled their eyes before writing more down below it.  _ Stop lying, Darling. You forget how well I know you.  _ Ghoul grinned at their scrawled words, leaning in to press a kiss to Poison’s shoulder. 

“I’m trying not to blame myself. I know you’re trying so hard.” Poison smiled and ran a gloved hand down Ghoul’s arm before writing more.  _ You’re a sweetheart, don’t worry about it. I’ll be okay, you know I will be.  _ They ran the back of their hand down his cheek lovingly, and he leaned into their touch with a sigh. “I love you.” They pressed a kiss to his forehead and mouthed the words back to him. “They said they’d leave today, we should go, see them off and all that.” He hated to leave that room, to put so much stress on Poison just as they were beginning to heal, but they wouldn’t let him hear the end of it if Kobra and Jet left before they could say goodbye. 

They took his hand and slowly slid off the bed, their knees giving just a little before Ghoul could steady them. They kissed his nose and held tighter to his hand, leaning heavily on his arm. The two walked out slowly, Poison’s free hand gliding up and down Ghoul’s arm, just light enough to send shivers down his spine. 

They made their way into the meeting room from the day before, and as soon as Poison caught sight of Kobra they pushed off of Ghoul and wrapped their arms around him. Ghoul sat on the table near Jet, twisting his fingers nervously.

“Please be careful.” He couldn’t find words other than that to express the hole rapidly growing in his chest. Jet’s face softened and he sat down next to the smaller boy.

“You know we will,” Jet said, patting Ghoul’s shoulder. “They’re with me and Benze, I guarantee you we’ll all be fine. We’ll be back as soon as we can.”

Ghoul nodded, his mouth in a straight line as he pondered his thoughts. The next few days were about to be completely miserable. He was about to be with a mute Poison with a strong aversion to most touch, only hearing his own voice and no way to get out his complete overwhelm about the situation. Not that he wasn’t madly in love with Poison, but when you’re alone with somebody who can’t talk it gets old fast. “I’m just nervous. ‘Cause this is hella dangerous, you guys are risking so much with this. And then Poison… I don’t know if they’re gonna get worse at all while you’re away. It can’t be good for them to be worrying about you and Kobra until you guys get back.”

“You’re probably right,” said Jet, looking over to where Poison was, still hugging their little brother tightly. Kobra was saying something to them that Ghoul couldn’t quite hear, probably assuring them he’d be alright. “But you’re here for them. That’s what they need. I know this is hard for you too, but you two are some of the strongest motherfuckers I’ve ever met. You’ve both been through hell and back and you’re still breathing. So I know you guys can handle a couple days without us.” Jet ruffled his hair and pulled him into his side. 

“Thanks.” His stomach was still turning, but Jet’s words had calmed his nerves a little. Poison came over to sit down next to Ghoul and wove their fingers with his, then rested their head on his shoulder and pressed their lips to his cheek. “Hey there, Love, how’re you doing?” They shrugged as they traced his tattoos and he kissed the top of their head.

"We'll be alright, don't psych yourself out too much," Jet offered gently, and they lifted their head to look at him. "I'm a decent medic, Benze is even better than I am. If something happens, we'll be able to help them. But hopefully we won't have to. We all have a lot of experience, we'll be fine." They nodded slowly and Ghoul squeezed their hand gently. 

"They'll be okay," he murmured, "we'll be okay." They hummed softly, staring at their shoes. "You'll get better, it'll be okay." He brought his hands to cup their face, rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs. They didn't tense or flinch away, and some part of him brightened, despite the horrible circumstances they were in. "You'll be okay." 

Kobra pulled a chair around and sat down so he was facing the others, an unreadable expression on his face. 

"Ghoul, I'm sorry," he said at last, "About yesterday. I was an ass, and you were just trying to be there for Poison.”

“It’s alright, we worked it out,” the dark haired boy replied. Poison tapped his knee and pulled out their sketchbook. They flipped through the book, lingering just for a moment on the jagged edges where the pages Ghoul ripped out used to be. He squeezed their hand and smiled softly, and they shook their head slightly and flipped past them, kissing his cheek. Kobra and Jet looked on curiously as they stopped on the page that held their recounting of what had happened. “Are you sure?” Ghoul didn’t want to keep anything from them, especially something this important, but he didn’t know how it would affect Poison, to share this part of them again. They nodded and passed the book to Kobra, who hesitated before reading aloud in a low voice.

Poison stared ahead blankly as Kobra read out what they wrote, their body beginning to shake. Ghoul took their hand and rubbed his hand up and down their arm. He tuned out Kobra's voice and focused on his fiancé, wrapping his arms around them and whispering softly to keep them calm. They curled their fingers into his shirt, and he started to hum as he ran his fingers through their hair. He glanced over at Jet, who stared at Poison's sketchbook in horror. He stared at Poison, who had resorted to drawing on Ghoul's pants. 

"Holy fuck," his voice was barely above a whisper, "Holy fuck, Poison I- I'm so sorry" They glanced up at the sound of their name, but they simply nodded and retreated back into Ghoul's chest. Ghoul thanked him for them, still running his fingers down their arm. "Is there anything we can do?" 

"Other than being there for them, not really," he replied, "It's a slow process, we're lucky it's going this well." 

"We are." Kobra put a hand on Poison's shoulder, and they finally pulled themself up and smiled sadly at him. "We're here for you, whatever you need." They placed their hand on top of his, and he took hold of it gently. 

Sandman came over hesitantly, his usually cheerful face somber. He wrapped his arms around Kobra’s neck and rested his chin on the blonde’s head, and Kobra brought his free hand up to grab one of his. 

"Hey Sunshine, what's up?" 

"Sorry to interrupt, but we have to go soon," he said, "How’re you doing, Poison? Any better?” Poison shrugged, letting go of Kobra’s hand and taking Ghoul’s again.

“They’re definitely improving faster than we could have even hoped for," Ghoul offered, "they're doing way better than even yesterday." Sandman nodded and flashed a quick thumbs up in their direction. Poison nodded then shot a glance to Jet, whose eyes widened. 

"Shit, we've got to go, or we'll miss the window." He stood and tossed his jacket over his arm as Sandman and Kobra shot up as well. "Take care of yourselves, okay? Don't do anything stupid."

Ghoul snorted and punched his arm playfully. "I'm the one who should be saying that to you!" 

"We'll be fine," Kobra insisted, then wrapped his arms over Jet's and Sandman's shoulders, who in turn pulled in Poison and Ghoul. They stood there for a moment, then all that was left of them was the ghost of Jet's hand on Ghoul's shoulder as they headed for the city. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment letting me know what you thought!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this an early update? I don't know.  
> anyway, thanks as always to Ash for being the best friend I could ask for and helping me with this, we tried out a new writing style toward the end, let me know what you think! The vibe we're going for is security camera footage  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, angst to follow!

### Kobra

Kobra’s head had been spinning since yesterday. What Sandman had said… it both excited and terrified him. He hadn’t had any time to process it, what those words actually meant, how he felt about it. He studied Sandman from across the room as he talked to his crew. His face was bright, and it brought a warm feeling to Kobra’s chest. The pink-haired boy glanced over at him and smiled, and the feeling in his chest sparked into something else. Maybe he did love him back. What were Poison and Ghoul like? They had said they were similar, maybe he could use them as reference. Ghoul said sometimes that seeing them smile at him made him happier than almost anything. He glanced over at his boyfriend again, at the grin gracing his features, and found himself smiling back. He was adorable when he smiled like that, it lit up his whole face and pulled a little more of the ever-present weight from Kobra’s chest. 

Ghoul and Poison walked through the door, the red head smiling brightly down at their fiance, leaning heavily on his arm. Ghoul looked happier than the day before, still a bit harried, sure, but happier. Poison’s eyes met his, and they rushed over and threw their arms around him. He froze, unsure of whether or not they were okay, and glanced to Ghoul, who nodded. He pulled them closer, and they held on tighter, almost painfully so. 

“I take it you’re feeling a bit better then,” he laughed, and they nodded roughly into his shirt. "That's great, you and Ghoul seem happier." They nodded again and pulled away, a smile growing on their face. They took his hand and squeezed it gently, then stumbled over to their fiancé. 

They were riding one of the elevators up to one of the buildings the Underground had control of in the City. Sandman stood to Kobra's left, nervously bouncing his foot and tapping his fingers on the holster of his gun. Aside from his tapping, it was deathly silent. Kobra glanced over and took his hand, squeezing it gently. The shorter boy looked up at him and smiled softly. 

“Whatcha thinking?” he said quietly, intertwining his and Kobra’s fingers. Kobra blushed at the feeling, looking down to his feet before turning his head back to Sandman.

“I’m worried,” Kobra stated simply. “About Poison, how they’re gonna handle this, about myself and Jet, about… about you.”

Sandman grinned subtly, looking back at his boyfriend’s face. “Look dear, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Poison’s got Ghoul, who you know would walk backwards into BLI alone, blindfolded, naked, and unarmed before he let anything happen to them. And the rest of us, well if anything happens, we’ve got Benze. He’s the best medic the Underground’s got and believe me, we’ve got some fucking incredible medics. So I guarantee you everything'll be fine. And if I’m wrong, you have my permission to take apart my bike and beat me to death with it.”

Kobra snorted, pressing a kiss to Sandman’s temples. “You’re fuckin’ wonderful, you know that?”

“Oh yeah, totally, it’s one of my better aspects,” he said playfully. “Second only to some other parts of me you haven’t had the blessing to see yet.”

Kobra smiled big, looking back at Sandman playfully. “You know what, I take that back, I fuckin’ hate you.” Sandman smirked and let go of Kobra’s hand to grab his waist. 

“I know you do, Dear.”

“Hey Sunshine, can I see you for a second?” He pulled his boyfriend away from the others, his stomach twisting in knots. They were getting the last details ready, trading all of their neon clothing for the plain white suits everyone in Battery City wore. The suits had been easy to get, but their hair was going to be another problem. Benze and Beauty were the only ones with haircuts that would be even remotely acceptable. If their wigs slipped even a little… he couldn’t think about that. “I’m just nervous. I don’t understand why, I’ve never been so scared to go on a mission before, but pictures keep flashing through my head of you getting hurt, and I- I don’t want to lose you.” His voice shook a little, and Sandman cupped his face gently. Kobra’s mind flashed back to what he had said the day before. He’d thought about it all night, replaying the moment in his head and trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with himself. He’d had a boyfriend or two before, but none of them had ever felt like this, like his heart was going to leap out of his chest every time Sandman took his hand. 

“Hey, I’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. We’re gonna make it out of this,” he whispered. Sandman pulled his face down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you.” Fuck it. Kobra wrapped his arms around the shorter boy’s waist and deepened the kiss. Sandman hummed in surprise, but held on tighter, hooking his arms around his neck. He pulled away to breathe and instantly regretted it, every cell in his body screaming to kiss him again. Sandman’s fingers twirled the ends of his hair, neither of them pulling more than a few inches away from the other. He should say it now, in case something happened to them. But it was so soon, did these things really happen so quickly? It had taken his sibling three years to even face their fiancè with their love, let alone tell him they loved him. But then again, Poison’s circumstances had been different than his. They were going through a lot, his mind was crystal clear. And Sandman… he seemed pretty into a fast paced relationship. Plus Kobra loved everything about him, he was sweet and kind and funny and everything he ever could've hoped for in a lover. 

But then more thoughts plagued his mind. What would Poison think? What if they still were angry about the things he had done? No, he had apologized. Poison had said as long as Kobra was happy, they didn't care. And they've let a fear of Poison’s response dictate what they did long enough. Maybe the circumstance left him a little extra cautious, but who _cared_ what Poison’s stance was on how fast Kobra should take his relationship? Why should that even be a thought in Kobra’s mind, alongside the velvety feel of Sandman’s lips on his, the way Sandman’s fingers pressed into his side and face, the way his caress was everything Kobra had been longing for, since the first time he really saw the true love in his older sibling’s eyes. 

He wanted that. Kobra wanted to feel that for somebody. That feeling of euphoria, the eleutheromania. And now he had found it. Who cared if it didn't take three years? So with no worries left in his mind, Kobra pulled the shorter boy closer to him again, so their noses brushed together and their breaths mingled. 

“I love you too.”

### Poison

Poison couldn’t bring themself to let go of Ghoul’s hand. Every inch of their body screamed to be both wrapped in his arms and left alone. It was agonizing, not being able to touch him, to speak. So they settled for his hands. The gloves were beginning to itch, but the thought of taking them off, even for a moment, made their skin crawl even more. They _needed_ to touch Ghoul, to feel his warm fingers against their icy ones. And he needed them, they could see it in his face when they had to pull away. He never stopped them though, always the gentleman, and gave them the space they needed. 

He sat next to them now, gliding his fingers up and down the satin covering their forearm. His touch was heavenly, as it always was, bringing safety and calm, but if he inched too close to the edge of the gloves, the familiar tingling would begin, a sensation they could only describe as feeling somewhat like nausea. Ghoul began to hum something under his breath, the familiar melody from the car radio. Their song. It was a temporary feeling of relief as he heard Ghoul, softly bringing them comfort and love. 

It lasted a second, just a brief second before Poison felt their mind combust. Their flesh was burning, crawling. They couldn't breathe. They had to move, throwing themself away to the side. Everything had come crashing down, they felt tears burning in their eyes. No, they needed Ghoul to get them through this. They were falling apart. They looked up to find Ghoul’s panicked face, looking down at him. 

“Poison, my Love, what’s wrong? What do you need me to do?” His hands shook as he reached for them, and they stared at him, trying to keep the terror off their face. He didn’t deserve to see that. He would think they were scared of him, when nothing could be further from the truth. Ghoul moved frantically before saying, “I'll go out and find somebody who can help you… maybe a medic or someone.”

Poison shook their head, meeting Ghoul’s eyes with theirs full of tears. “N-no, please stay. Don't leave me, I'm scared,” they croaked. Their voice was sore and raspy from the lack of use but they needed to speak. They needed to show Ghoul that he was exactly what they needed right now.

Ghoul’s eyes widened at Poison speaking. He immediately moved closer to Poison, reaching out and quickly taking his hand away. “You— You’re talking… Are you okay? What's wrong? What do you need?” They took a shaky breath, hating the way their skin crawled. 

“Just… just stay. Please,” they pleaded, “please, Darling, just stay.” 

“Of course, anything you want, Love.” He sat down across from them, his face full of concern. They wanted to hold his hand again, to feel that safety. “I know you feel like shit right now, but _fuck,_ it’s good to hear your voice again.” He laughed sadly, and they reached out to brush his cheek, hissing when their fingertips burned. “I’m so sorry, Love. I wish I could help you.” He sounded so incredibly sad, it took everything in them to not just ignore the needles pressing into their skin and pull him to their chest.

“Darling, you’ve done so much for me already, you’re doing so much just by being here,” they paused as their voice began to shake, and Ghoul handed them a blanket, which they wrapped around their shoulders gingerly. 

“Have I told you how much I love it when you call me that?” He gave them a soft smile, which they slowly returned. “It’s always been special to me, but I didn’t realize how much until I wasn’t able to hear it two hundred times a day.” 

Poison smiled, looking at Ghoul with wide eyes. They wanted so badly to grab his face and kiss him hard. “I love you. You're the best fiancè I could ask for.” The situation they were in now, Poison realized was quite similar to the start of their relationship. They were quite anxious when it came to touching him, except then it was due to an underlying fear he might suddenly break his loving facade, become like those who hurt them. Now they knew he’d never in a million years do anything that could bring harm unto them.

Ghoul smiled sadly, his eyes flitting across their features. “I wanna kiss you so bad right now, beautiful.” Poison nodded slowly and he continued, “Or even just hold you. You were doing better, what happened?”

Poison shrugged. “Kobra left and I… I don’t know, I just couldn’t handle it.”

He nodded. “That’s okay, that’s fine, it’s not your fault. You know I’m here to help you cope… take as much time as you need, you’re healing. I don’t wanna rush that.”

It wasn’t fine. Poison knew Ghoul too well to believe that. They crossed their arms and gave him a soft grin. “I know you better than you think. You’re panicking, Darling.”

“N-no, I’m not,” he stammered, seemingly getting more anxious by the second. “I promise, Pois, it’s all okay.” They raised an eyebrow, the prickling in their fingers growing as they contemplated taking his hand. 

“Fun Ghoul, I love you to death, to absolute pieces, but you are terrible at lying to me. You’re horrified, I know you are.”

Ghoul leaned back against the wall, leaning his head back. “You’re going through enough right now. You really really don’t need all my bullshit. I know you don’t. I love you, I don’t want to stress you out.”

Poison shook his head. “I don’t think you understand, Darling, that you’re allowed to feel things. You’re allowed to hurt over this. Just ‘cause I’ve been through shit doesn’t mean you can’t be bothered by it. This affects you almost as much as it does me. You’re allowed to hurt. You’re allowed to feel.”

“Shit, I’ve missed you,” Ghoul murmured, just loud enough for Poison to hear. They had to hold his hand, crawling skin be damned. Gritting their teeth, they reached out and wove his fingers with their own, sucking in a breath. Ghoul stared at their hands, then pulled his away gently. “You’ve got to be careful, Gorgeous, don’t push yourself, _please_.” They sighed and ran their fingers through their hair instead. 

“I love you.” 

Poison sat as close to Ghoul as they could stand. They found that touching his hair didn’t quite have the same effect as touching his skin did, so they focussed on tidying up the braids that had started to come undone. They hummed softly as they worked, occasionally letting a few lyrics escape their lips. Ghoul watched them work, a soft smile on his face. 

“You’re so wonderful,” he sighed, “you deserve so much better than what the world has shoved on you.” They tied off the last of the braids and sat down in front of him.

“So do you, Darling, you've been through it all with me," they crooned.

“I’m so proud of you, you’ve been so fucking strong throughout all this fuckery.” They blushed and hid their face in their hair, and he gently brushed a strand away, smiling softly. 

“I really haven’t…”

“But you have, you’re here, talking to me, and you could touch me earlier, that’s progress!” They shrugged and played with the hem of their shirt, studying the fading letters they had written there. A few months into their relationship, once they had gotten more comfortable with themself and started being more affectionate he began to take their shirts and wear them when he didn’t feel good. So they began to write little messages on the hems of the sleeves for him to find, something they loved about him, or sometimes even just thanking him for loving them. This one had multiple phrases written on it, but the one that stood out the most was on the cuff of the sleeve, just a simple _I love you_ in their elegant handwriting. They tried to speak, but their words got caught in their throat, so they pulled the sleeve over their hand and held it out for him to see. He stared at the cloth, reaching for them as if on instinct. “I love you too.”

### Sandman

Sandman was still reeling from Kobra’s words. He’d always thought of himself as someone not easily shaken, but Kobra somehow always managed to surprise him. He stared down at Kobra’s fingers interlocked with his, and pulled their hands to his chest. Kobra glanced down at him and squeezed his hand. 

The dracs rotated stations every two hours. They had twenty minutes. He hadn’t been nervous before, but the presence of a ticking clock brought it all crashing down on him. They could die. They were breaking into BLI’s most secure facility, for what? To get some girl out? Was it worth his life? Kobra’s? The lives of his crew? They’d been the first real family he’d had, he could handle the possibility of his own death, but if something happened to them… no. He had to focus on the task at hand. 

He glanced around the room, and Benze caught his attention. The small boy sat by a window, spinning his hat by the brim. Sandman pressed a quick kiss to Kobra’s cheek then sat down across from his friend. 

“Hey, Squirt, how’re you holding up?” Benze glanced up at him, still spinning his hat, and shrugged absently. 

“I don’t like this. I’m not a fighter. I won’t be able to do you guys much good unless someone gets hurt, and even then I’ll probably be too panicked to do anything,” he muttered, “I’m not good in these situations, I don’t think I’ll be much help.” Sandman sighed and pulled the smaller boy into his arms.

“Stop, we need you. I know you’re not good in a fight, but you’re the best medic we’ve got, and if everything goes well we’re going to have to take care of an infant. I’ve never met anyone who’s as good with kids as you are.” Benze laughed quietly and wrapped his arms around Sandman’s middle. 

“I’m just worried, what if someone gets hurt because of me? Kobra got shot last time, and so did Poison, and I know I don’t really know them, but your _face_ . You looked so _scared_ , and I couldn’t get it out of my head that it wouldn’t’ve happened if I hadn’t been panicking and you weren’t trying to calm me down,” he gushed, and Sandman felt his chest tighten.

“Hey, no, no, don’t- don’t blame yourself, it wasn’t your fault. Kobra’s better now, because of you. And we know Poison’s a stubborn bastard, not even Ghoul could get them to calm down. It wasn’t your fault.” Benze nodded into his chest, and he put his chin on the smaller boy’s head. “It’ll be okay.” 

### Ghoul

Ghoul was pacing the room. He couldn’t stop, he was nervous for Kobra and Jet, and Poison had started talking about what had happened to them, and he was furious. The fact that anyone could do that to his fiance, to his wonderful, gorgeous partner, and have the gall to want to do it _again_ , after seeing what they had done to them made him want to scream and throw something. So he paced. Poison sat at the edge of the bed, watching him worriedly.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Their voice was low, almost a whisper, and he paused for a moment. 

“It’s nothing, I’m just nervous,” he lied. They propped their chin up on their hand and raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re a terrible liar. C’mere.” They patted the space next to them and shifted as he sat so they faced him.

“I can lie to anyone else just fine, I just love you too much.” Poison blushed, and their face scrunched up adorably, and it took everything he had not to just grab their face and kiss them until he couldn’t breathe. 

“Not now, Darling, what’s _wrong_?” 

“I’m going to kill him, I’m going to kill him for doing this to you. You deserve the fucking _world_. You’re the best fucking person I’ve ever met, you should never have to feel this way.” 

The edges of Poison’s mouth slowly tugged up into a small smile. “I love you,” they murmured, tears beginning to start in their eyes. Ghoul rubbed his thumb over the space in between them as he sometimes did to Poison’s wrists as he tried to hold his anger back as much as possible.

“I just can’t even begin to _fathom_ that someone would ever even consider hurting you,” continued Ghoul, looking at the broken person that was the love of his life. It almost brought him back to about a year into their relationship, Poison was so scared and tired of being constantly hit on and harassed in public that they stopped eating, spent days refusing to even move. Ghoul remembered Poison’s thin, frail figure, the tears constantly flowing from their eyes. He could recall his own fear, worried that they were going to die from refusing to care for themself. He couldn’t let them get back there. He couldn't no matter what. “You’re just so fucking beautiful like… like how can someone look at you and not wanna just set you up on a pedestal and worship you like you’re some fucking god or some shit. That’s the level you’re at, gorgeous, trust me when I say that.”

Poison’s grin widened and they swayed slightly. “You’re so sweet. Why are you so sweet?” As they spoke, Ghoul could barely stop himself from admiring the way their mouth moved, the way their lips curved up into the smallest grin when they pronounced E’s. The way they so sharply enunciated every word, making what they had to say always feel so important.

“Hate to break it to you Bombshell, but I’m just being honest.” Ghoul chuckled softly at the sight of Poison, how hard they were blushing and how absolutely adorable they looked when their cheeks matched their hair. “Look, you’re the most important thing in my life and I’m going to _end_ anybody who disrespects you. Especially that asshole. ‘Cause you deserve only the best the zones can offer. Better than that if I can get it for you.” They stared at him like he was made of stars, reaching a gloved hand to cup his face. He almost recoiled out of surprise, but their grip was firm, and eventually he leaned into it, craving the contact.

“I love you,” they whispered, leaning in until their face was inches from his own, “You mean the world to me. More than that. You’re worth more to me than anything I can fathom, more than the stars or the moon, more than the fucking air I breathe. And these last few days have been hell, but you’ve made it better. You always make it better, because I know that no matter how bad this shithole of a world treats us, you’ll be right next to me, and we’ll make it through.” They spoke with such certainty, in a way he’d never heard them talk before. They were so close now, he could feel the heat of their skin against his own. Something about this was agonizing, even more so than two days ago, when they couldn’t even speak, more so than before they’d gotten together, when he’d convinced himself there was no way they could love him. His eyes slid shut reflexively, but he didn’t move a muscle. He couldn’t. He sat paralyzed, by how close they were, by fear of pushing them too far, by sheer need to be near them. He felt their fingers begin to move slowly down his cheek and neck until they curled into the neckline of his shirt, and he gasped ever so slightly at the sensation.

“I will always be here for you,” he breathed, “ _always_ .” Their other hand slid around his neck, and he felt their fingers weave into his hair. He never thought their touch could feel so fucking amazing. They had always felt like home, but now the feeling of their cool fingers on his neck felt _magical_. "I love you, so fucking much." 

Poison fell asleep clinging to Ghoul, their fingers curled around his shirt and in his hair. He watched the rise and fall of their chest, slow, deep breaths in, short puffs out. They'd rested their head on his chest, brushing him off when he'd asked if they were alright, and asked him to sing for them. He'd started humming aimlessly, holding them against him. He too had started to drift off before he rubbed his fingers over the nape of Poison’s neck, softly moving them so they were laying on the pillow next to them. Ghoul pressed a kiss to his fingers and brushed his fingers on their forehead before he stood up and took one last look at their sleeping form. He closed the door behind him, trying to stay quiet as possible, as Poison was a rather light sleeper. Then he started walking.

Ghoul was going to hunt him down, beat the asshole who had hurt Poison to a pulp. They had said his name was Twisted Faith… suited a douchebag like him. Ghoul kept glancing back to where he had came from every couple steps as if he was checking on Poison, wondering if he was making a bad decision, doing this now. What if Twisted Faith hurt him? What if he killed him? He was skinny sure, but taller than Ghoul by quite a bit. Hell, he was even a couple inches taller than Poison. And Ghoul had learned the hard way to never judge a killjoy by the amount of muscle they had on them. He’d been nearly killed by plenty of small, skinny ‘joys in the past. 

The Juvies had said he was in lockup after attacking Poison. They may’ve been assholes sometimes but they had a strict policy against harming peaceful ‘joys and though he hadn’t been in the Underground when he had raped Poison, he had still attacked them and that was enough to get him locked away for a bit.

So Ghoul followed signs through the dimly lit Underground. It was different at night, the place that had always seemed to be moving was dark and silent and still. Other than a couple patrols at the edges and base of each level, there was nobody there. Soon, Ghoul had come up to a building, not very big with glass doors and an older killjoy with his legs propped up on the desk, half asleep. Ghoul walked in and hit the desk softly to get the man’s attention, causing him to jump. “This the lockup?” Ghoul asked, arms crossed.

“Ah, fuck…. You scared me, kid,” the man said, blinking sleep from his eyes. “But yeah, what do you want at this hour?”

“Is Twisted Faith here?”

“He was,” the man looked behind him before back at Ghoul. “What, he grabbed some guy. That’s two days' lockup max, didn’t kill him. Plus he’s a pretty nice guy, I’ve known him for a bit.”

“A nice gu--” Ghoul had to take in a breath to stop himself from screaming. “That motherfucker raped my partner a few years ago. He’s not a ‘nice guy.’”

“Damn,” the man at the desk breathed. “Well, the more you know. He usually does the night patrol so you should find him somewhere around where they are, but he likes to be alone, if you’re looking for him.’

Ghoul gave a curt nod before heading back out. 

Creeping around the Underground at a nearly agonizing pace, his mind kept wandering back to Poison, and what could happen if they woke up while he was still gone. They would freak out, the thought of which made his stomach turn, and he nearly turned back, but knew he couldn’t. That guy needed to pay for what he did to Poison. Despite it being probably sometime close to sundown in the Desert, his path was well lit and he passed multiple people. He needed to figure out how to get this guy away from everyone else.

After about twenty minutes of wandering around aimlessly and plotting his revenge, he spotted the familiar shock of orange hair. Ghoul paused, pushing down the nausea and anger that boiled in his chest. Twisted Faith turned and spotted him, something unreadable passing over his face. 

“What do you want,” he sneered as Ghoul came nearer, “You going to bitch again?” He bent down so he was nearly at Ghoul’s eye level and smirked. “It really wasn’t that big of a deal, you know.” The shorter boy fought the urge to vomit, flashes of Poison’s terrified face clouding his vision. He had to get him out of the open, so he forced a smile onto his face.

“That’s not what I’m here to talk about.” He hated every inch of himself for this. Every inch of his skin crawled as Twisted Faith stepped closer.

“Oh? Did that little whore tell you what I did? What I want to do to you?” His filthy smile made Ghoul ready to jump at him, what he had called Poison. Nobody said that shit about his partner and got away with it. Ghoul just gritted his teeth and nodded.

“Yeah, they told me about it,” Ghoul said, feeling so dirty for even contemplating these words. “In fact, I left them tonight to take you up on that.” He hated himself for letting those words past his lips. The thought of leaving Poison for someone this disgusting… It was horrible.

Twisted Faith raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Oh really? You seemed pretty dedicated to that slut last time we ran into each other. Why should I think you just dropped all that now?” 

Fuck, he was catching on. Thoughts spiralled through his head. How could he have been so stupid, of course he’d question it. The man studied him for a second then laughed.

“I’m just fucking with you, man, I don’t give a shit!” Ghoul laughed nervously, but the taller man interrupted him and smashed their faces together. He didn’t fight.

From there, Twisted Faith seemed to take over, dragging Ghoul along, still kissing him hard. He wanted so badly to break the kiss and return to Poison but he needed to do this. All he wanted was to go and cuddle with his fiance until he couldn’t even remember what this horrible man’s lips tasted like. Ghoul felt himself pushed against a wall and Twisted Faith tugging at his clothes and the panic started to set in. What would happen to him if he couldn’t escape his grip? He really should’ve thought this through better. But then in a final surge of adrenaline, Ghoul managed to get Twisted Faith off of him long enough to take a deep breath. His eyes narrowed into a glare and he pushed the man back when he tried to come back in.

“You fucking idiot,” he spat, “You really think I’d leave them? For _you_? I’m their husband, bitch. They’re the love of my fucking life.” He raised his fist and swung.

Ghoul twisted the handle of the door slowly, his face and hands stinging. He couldn’t wake Poison. They needed to sleep. The door opened with a slow creak and he winced, then opened it all the way. Poison sat on the bed, the sheets scattered around them. They looked up at Ghoul as he came in, and their tear-stained face was the last thing he saw before they flung their arms around his neck and began to sob.

“Don’t you ever fucking do that again.” They buried their face in his neck as he wrapped his arms around them. “I thought you’d _left me_.” 

Ghoul nearly choked at Poison’s words as he felt them cling to him. “I would never. I just had to do something really quick.” They held on tighter and he kissed the top of their head. “Hey, it’s fine, I’m here now. You know I’d never leave you, beautiful. We’re getting married, I’m not leaving you.”

Poison lifted their head slightly and tears pooled in their eyes. “It was so bad, Darling. I had a nightmare that… that _he_ had taken you from me and then I woke up and I couldn’t find you and I- I thought I became too much for you. And I tried to… to just for a second imagine my life without you in it. It was fucking horrible, Darling, I was alone and I felt worthless and I was back to just handing myself to people who hurt me just so I could feel like _somebody_ wanted me. I didn’t care that it was just for my body, I didn’t care what they did to me. I was back at that place in my life. I never want to go back there, Ghoul. I can’t.” They studied his features, lifting ungloved fingers to brush his cheeks. “This sounds pathetic, but you’re the only thing holding me together.” Their thumbs began to rub soothing circles on his cheeks, and he leaned into their hands, nearly tearing up at the feel of their hands.

“It’s not pathetic,” he muttered, “you’re doing the same for me. And I’m not going anywhere. I love you more than anything, I’ll never leave you. I’m so sorry I left, I had to make that motherfucker pay.” Their fingers paused.

“What did you do?” He opened his mouth to tell them, but no words came out, so they pulled him to sit on the bed and laid their head in his lap. "You can touch me, it's alright Darling." He brushed his knuckles gently along their cheek, and they inhaled sharply and took hold of his wrist. "Don't stop. Tell me what happened." 

“I just roughed him up a little bit, he deserved it. He tried to do to me what he did to you, and I-" Ghoul's voice suddenly broke, though he had been fine the minute before. Poison sat up and cupped his face, studying him. They brushed away stray hairs that had fallen in his face. 

"It's okay, Darling," they whispered, "Whatever happened, it's okay." 

"Please don't be mad," he begged, and they nodded, still playing with his hair. "I feel sick to my stomach for doing it, but they'd let him out and I needed to get him away from where someone could find him, so I had to-" he swallowed, "I had to fucking flirt with him, and I'm so fucking sorry, I-" 

"It's okay." Their fingers brushed along his cheekbones and under his eyes. They leaned in and pressed the softest kiss to his lips. "It's okay." They kissed him again, harder and longer, and Ghoul's hands grasped their waist as their fingers slipped into his hair. "I missed you," they whispered between kisses, "fuck, I missed you so much." 

He couldn't speak, he could barely think. His entire focus centered to their mouth on his and their hands travelling through his hair and down his neck. 

"I love you," Ghoul mumbled into their lips, "I missed you too." Poison pulled back and laid their head on his shoulder as he laid down. "It's still really late, we should sleep." They hummed and shifted to kiss his cheek. 

"What if someone finds out what you did? Darling, they could take you away from me." They sounded so worried, his chest tightened and he pulled them closer to his side. 

"It'll be okay Gorgeous, they couldn't drag me away from you if they tried."

"I should stay up though," they took his hand and traced his tattoos, "Just in case.”

Ghoul smiled and pressed his forehead to Poison’s briefly before saying. “You're adorable and I love you but you need to sleep, my love. You're so exhausted.”

“I don't want you getting hurt or leaving again.”

“Aw, I love you,” Ghoul murmured again. He laid back on the bed, taking Poison in his arms with him. “You know, I can’t wait until we’re married. You'll never have a reason to doubt how dedicated I am to you ever again.”

Poison smiled softly as they pressed their head into Ghoul’s chest. “Wasn't I saying this to you before we left for D’s? What happened to me being the stable one?”

Ghoul kissed their head softly and muttered in their ear, “Love, I'm not the one with three years of intense trauma. Give yourself some credit, you're a strong motherfucker, Pois. And I’m gonna be married to that strong motherfucker. That beautiful, strong person that probably should've killed me the day we met. But you know what you did? You saved my life. And then you fell in love with me and now look at us. I can't wait to be your husband.”

“What can I say, I’m a sucker for a pair of pretty eyes,” Poison said, smiling huge now as they laid over Ghoul. They were taller than him yes, but he never minded when they draped themself over him. He absolutely adored it, as he did everything else about them.

“You're the pretty one in this relationship, Bombshell.” He reached up and brushed the backs of his fingers across their cheek, smiling softly. "You have no idea how good it feels to touch you again, I thought I would go insane. Too many old memories, I guess."

"What do you mean?" They began to trace circles on his chest, each place their fingers made contact instantly warming and feeling more solid. 

"When I was still in the city, when they discovered I'd gotten off the pills, they put me in solitary for a week straight." They sucked in a breath and took hold of one of his hands, holding it to their chest. "And I try to not let it get to me, you know? But as much as I try and ignore it, it just comes back up at the worst times, and it'll get really lonely inside my head."

"I'm so sorry, Darling." Poison brought his hand to their lips, letting it linger there as they continued, "You won't ever have to feel that way again."

"Don't you dare apologize to me, it's not your fault," Ghoul insisted. They opened their mouth to protest but he cut them off, "You've literally done more than anyone in helping me heal, you don't get to apologise for that." They smiled and kissed his fingers again. 

"I love you," they whispered, "I hate them for doing this to you. Sometimes I wonder how we could have lived if none of this had ever happened, if there had never been any wars, but we found each other anyways. You'd be a musician and I'd be an artist, and we'd have a small apartment in some city or other, and maybe have a dog or something, and we'd get together with Kobra and Jet on the weekends and just be _people_ . No revolutions to lead, no evil megacorporations to overthrow, just us, living, and enjoying what life has to offer. Then one day we'd get married, something small and outside, and we'd have families and friends that would be there, and no one would be trying to kill us, and it would be _perfect_. I’ve thought about it before, our wedding before the wars. Even before I proposed. I'd force your stubborn ass into something nice and you’d just look so amazing and you’d smile at me all pretty and… and I’d doll up just for you, I’d wear makeup ‘cause I know you love it when I do. And our first kiss as a married couple’d be under the stars with Kobra and Jet there and both our parents would be alive and well and not evil. And maybe we could even start a family of our own if you wanted to. We'd be so happy.”

"It sounds wonderful," he sighed, watching as their eyelids slowly started to close. "I love you. More than life," he whispered as they fell asleep, and they repeated it back to him. He lifted his head and pressed a kiss to their forehead, his heart fluttering at the small smile that formed on their lips. His left hand was still clasped in theirs, so he brought his right one to rest over his back, and let the feel off their body and the sound of their breathing lull him to sleep.

### Battery City

The group approaches the doors, apprehension and anticipation seeping through the cracks of a thin mask of calm thrown over each of their faces. The doors do not open, so someone breaks off from the group and begins to pick the lock. He is thin, with blonde hair cropped close to the sides of his head. Two others hold their breaths and watch him fearfully. One is short, with spiked hair dyed a bright pink. The other is tall, with dark hair curling down past his shoulders. 

“Be careful,” the tall one mutters as a loud _click_ echoes through the space. The pink-haired one gasps and reaches a hand back to hold the sleeve of someone behind him, the shortest of the group. 

“It’s okay.” The blonde straightens up and approaches the pink-haired one, who takes his hand. “It’s okay,” he repeats, just loud enough for the other to hear.

They move from cell to cell, opening doors and releasing the prisoners. One of the prisoners, a woman, holds an infant in her arms, and the eldest of the group pulls her aside, placing her in the center of the people. 

The group, now accompanied by the prisoners, floods into the room they had entered from, the tall one and the blonde one leading the charge.

An alarm begins to sound. 

Draculoids storm out of every door, hundreds strong and armed to the teeth. 

The oldest of the group raises his gun and fires.

### Kobra

As soon as Cherri fired his gun, the ‘joys they had rescued dropped to the floor, and the air was filled with laser beams. Kobra pushed down the panic swelling in his chest and squeezed Sandman’s hand before releasing it and joining the fight. He kept anxiously looking in the direction of his friends, of Jet, Sandman, Cherri, and Pony. He couldn’t let them die but for some reason their cold, unretrievable corpses were the only image in his mind. But still he shot at any Drac that came his direction, staring at the bodies around him. 

A door he hadn’t seen before, mostly because there weren’t a fuck ton of Dracs pouring out of it, opened slowly to reveal the Exterminator from the desert. 

Kobra’s heart began to pound in his chest. He couldn’t move. The Exterminator stared him down. 

“Where’s your sibling, desert rat? Did they finally lose their nerve?” The man’s voice was cold as he taunted Kobra, and he took a step back, nearly walking into Psycho.

“I don’t know who forgot to teach you it’s not cool to stick your nose in other people’s business,” he spat, “but they’ve got bigger problems right now than putting up with your sorry ass.” He raised his gun and fired a shot at the man, but his hands had begun to shake, and the beam soared over his shoulder.

“Pretty useless without them, huh? Who’s going to protect you now?” Kobra’s stomach began to turn and he took another step back. The Exterminator didn’t know shit. He couldn’t let the man’s words get to him. “I’ll tell you who,” he continued, stepping closer with each word “no one. No one is here to save you, and no one can stop me from doing this.” He pointed his gun at Kobra’s chest and pulled the trigger.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOA FAST UPDATES  
> Quarantine is boring as fuck and I'm sick of homework but I've got this, so maybe another fast update if my teachers decide to not bury me this week  
> Anyway Huge thanks to Ash for being amazing and reminding me to write  
> please leave a comment, I love getting feedback, and enjoy!

###  Psycho

“This is too easy.” Benze grabbed Psycho’s arm, his knuckles almost white. “Something’s going to go wrong.” 

“It’ll be okay,” he reassured the smaller boy, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and ruffling his hair. "We'll make it out of this."

When the Dracs started pouring out, Psycho's heart stopped. Everyone scattered, splitting off into groups of two or three. He was pushed into a corner with Kobra, and could just barely see Sandman's pink hair through the bodies of the Dracs. The Killjoys they had rescued started to make their way out of the building, covered by the ones that had managed to grab blasters. 

Was all of this worth it? They were really only here for that girl. Everyone had gotten out at this point, it was just the eight of them now, slowly retreating toward the doors. They were risking so much to get one kid out, though if it were his kid… if she was important to the cause, it was good enough for him.

Psycho couldn't help but let his mind wander back to the Underground. The family he had waiting for him. His girlfriend, the beautiful Silver Bullet and his daughter, Evelyn. They were the reason he was as passionate about the revolution as he was. He needed to help fix the world for his family. For his daughter, who deserved a better life than this goddamn dump of a world than they were living in. The last thing he wanted was for her to grow up in a world like this. If he could fix it, even just a little, make BLI’s reign of terror just  _ slightly  _ shorter for Evie… that would be enough.

_ They were walking down the streets of the Underground, Evie perched on Psycho's shoulders. It was just after her seventh birthday, and she laughed, her fingers curled into his hair to steady herself. Silver Bullet smiled at him and wove their fingers together.  _

_ "We’re doing it,” she said, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “That life you've always talked about wanting for us? We may not be able to have exactly that but we’re pretty damn close if you ask me.” _

_ Psycho sighed, squeezing her hand. “You're right. Not exactly domestic, but domestic enough for us.” _

_ He reached to take one of Evie’s small hands in his free one. “Love you, pipsqueak,” he said to his daughter softly. She giggled, almost falling back off his shoulders. She was so young, so innocent. Psycho was gonna give her the world someday. If anyone deserved it, his little girl did. “You’re getting so heavy, I’m not gonna be able to carry you anymore pretty soon.” _

_ “I'm not heavy, you're just  _ weak _ ,” Evie said, leaning her head down to look at her father. “I'm gonna have to replace you in your crew soon!!” _

_ “Find your own crew!!” He reached his arms to pick her up and swing her down off his shoulders. “You hear this girl, Sil? She's turning out just like you, with all that sass.” _

_ Sil laughed and smiled, running fingers through her daughter’s hair. “Someone's gotta put you in your place.” _

_ Psycho leaned against a wall, his radio squeezed in his hands tightly. He looked at his friends, all having fallen asleep around him but he couldn’t sleep. He could only think about his girlfriend and his daughter. How much he missed them. How badly he wanted to go home to them. _

_ “Sil? You guys there?” he said quietly, careful not to wake up the guys. “Hey, I have some time before I need to sleep… I wanna hear your voice.” _

_ “Psycho?” He heard his girlfriend’s voice ring through the radio. “Holy shit, we miss you so much. Do- do you know how much longer until you’ll be home?” _

_ Psycho bit his lip and ran fingers through his hair. “I don’t know… Probably a couple more days. I miss you guys too…”  _

_ Sil sighed heavily. “Evie misses you like crazy. She keeps asking when daddy will be home. Please be safe, she’s too young to lose you.” _

_“I’m trying, I’m trying. But if anything does happen to me… please be strong for her. Let her know I love her. And then you know I love you.”_

_ “Do you wanna talk to her? She's barely seen you lately, you came back from D’s then immediately left again.” _

_ Psycho nodded. “Please, I need to hear her voice right now.” _

_ Psycho heard Sil get up and leave the room. After not long he heard her come back with a second pair of footsteps joining her. “Daddy?” he heard his daughter’s high pitched voice come from the radio.  _

_ “Evie, hi,” he said. “I miss you, pipsqueak. How’re you doing?” _

_ “I want you to come home,” she said softly. “You're always gone. I want you to come  _ back _.” _

_ “I wanna come back too, pipsqueak, I know…” he murmured. “I'll be home soon, you know I will. I always come back to you.” _

_ It sounded like Evie was crying now, softly into the speaker. “I miss you,” she said again and Psycho leaned just head back again.  _

_ “I'll be home soon, I'll be home soon,” he whispered soothingly. “I love you, okay?”  _

_ Evie snuffed and muttered, “Yeah. I love you, daddy.” _

_ Psycho felt himself tearing up now. He wiped his eyes and sucked in a sharp breath. He needed to get home to her. He couldn't leave his baby girl without a father.  _

Psycho was pulled out of his reverie as Kobra walked into him, nearly knocking him into the ground. The blonde was focussed on someone across the room, the Exterminator from the desert, who Sandman had looked up when they got back. His name was Korse.

“I don’t know who forgot to teach you it’s not cool to stick your nose in other people’s business,” Kobra hissed, and Psycho barely managed to hold back a snort. The shift that happened when the Four got into battle was astounding. If he hadn’t witnessed it himself multiple times he wouldn’t believe they were the same person. “But they’ve got bigger problems right now than putting up with your sorry ass,” the taller boy continued. He began to shoot at the Exterminator and retreat more. Psycho would see where this was going. Kobra was too rattled. Korse was going to talk until Kobra couldn’t take it, then he’d kill him. Sandman would be devastated. He’d been so miserable before, and he hid it well, but there were moments. Moments in the dead of night when he’d knock on one of their doors and just sit with them for hours. Sometimes he would talk, he wouldn’t shut up, but sometimes he would just stare at something only he could see. It hurt like hell. Psycho knew that the moment anything happened to Kobra, Sandman would go right back there. He saw all the rest of the Youngbloods with their girlfriends, Psycho with his family… And he was just so alone. Now he finally had something beautiful with Kobra and he deserved it. Psycho wasn’t about to let this shitty run ruin it. Kobra had to make it out of this, even if it cost him his life. His family would survive, Sandman wouldn't. 

Sil had been through hell and back and come out fighting, she could help Evie through this. Sandman had been on the verge of breaking before he'd met Kobra, and losing him could push him over the edge. But what if Sil couldn’t handle it? What if this is what finally broke her? Kobra had to live, yes, but he had to keep himself alive. For Evie. 

“Pretty useless without them, huh? Who’s going to protect you now?” Kobra took another step back. Slowly, almost like he didn’t realize he was doing it. He was almost against a wall now, one more step and he’d have nowhere to go. “I’ll tell you who, no one. No one is here to save you, and no one can stop me from doing this.” Korse raised his gun. Psycho knew what he had to do.

###  Poison

Poison hated being weak. The effects of the blood loss were still taking their toll, and they could barely stand for more than a few seconds before their vision started to blur around the edges. They needed to  _ do  _ something,  _ anything _ , or they’d go insane. Ghoul had been wonderful, as always, making sure they were sure they were comfortable and that he didn’t go too far, though they could tell he wanted to do more. The tingling in their skin was almost completely gone now, but they didn’t want to go too far unless it got bad again.

Right now they were on the bed, Ghoul sitting with his back against the wall, and Poison with their head in his lap. He was humming softly, running his fingers through their hair. They always loved moments like these, when the world fell away and it was just the two of them together. They took one of his hands in theirs and pressed it to their lips. He smiled softly down at them and brushed his free hand down their cheek.

“I feel like an object,” they whispered after a moment, and sat up to watch Ghoul’s face. “I feel like- like I don’t have any value. Like I’m something to be used once and then thrown away without a second thought.” 

Ghoul sucked in a sharp breath and squeezed Poison’s wrist softly. “Hey, you know you’re more than that. You’re so much more than that.”

“But that’s not how I  _ feel _ ,” Poison sighed. “I’m worthless, Darling. I’m a sextoy, I’m something ‘pretty’ for guys to stick their dicks in when they’re horny then discard once they’ve had their fun." They had specifically used air-quotes around ‘pretty.’ They didn’t feel pretty, they felt disgusting. Suddenly their skin was crawling again, the hands of everyone who had violated them were back again. They took their wrist from Ghoul’s grip and groaned. 

“Poison, that’s not you. You are so much, my love. You’re a killjoy, you’re one of the Four, you're the face of this whole fucking rebellion, you’re… you’re Kobra Kid’s brother, you’re Fun Ghoul’s fiance, you’re a beautiful person who deserves the whole ass world." He reached a hand out for them, and they stared at it, unsure of whether they could take it. He watched them with wide eyes as they deliberated. "You're the most amazing person I've ever met, I love you so fucking much, and I want you to know that nothing can change that. You don't ever have to worry about me leaving because I won't. And whatever you need right now, I'm here for you." 

"I love you," Poison whispered, their throat closing up and tears forming in their eyes. They took his hand, then shifted and wrapped their arms around his waist. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this bullshit. With me." Ghoul sighed and pulled them closer, rubbing comforting circles in their back. 

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Love, you mean the world to me." He pressed a kiss to the top of their head and a rush of warmth spread through their body. He began to hum again, his fingers gliding through their hair and down their back. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, his fingers traveling across their face. 

"I don't  _ feel _ beautiful." Ghoul took hold of Poison's shoulders and sat them up so he could look in their eyes. 

"But you are." He took their hands and pulled them into the bathroom, then positioned them in front of the mirror and stood behind them with his arms around their waist. "Try and see what I see in you." He brought his hand up and traced the bridge of their nose. "You've got the most adorable nose, I swear to the Witch it's the cutest nose I've ever seen." They blushed and his fingers drifted to under their eyes. "I've never seen eyes like yours in my entire life, and when you get excited they light up so much they almost glow, and it's gorgeous." He touched their jawline. "Every time I see your face it's like I'm seeing you for the first time, and you look like a work of art, perfect and almost divine, and sometimes I have to pinch myself because there's no way you could be real, no way you could be in love with me." Tears had begun to form in their eyes now, and they took hold of his other hand and held it to their chest. He let his other hand glide across their neck and shoulders, brushing softly down their arm and coming to a pause at the strand of beads on their wrist. "You're so graceful, even when you're not dancing you move like a cat, loose and smooth, it's like watching ink swirl through water." He moved their clasped hands so they could both see them, and pressed a soft kiss to their neck. "Your hands are beautiful, and they make the most beautiful things." He brought his free hand back up to their face, never letting his fingers falter or leave their skin, and traced the edges of their lips. His touch was feather-light, and they sucked in a breath and leaned into him, their eyes sliding shut. They had missed this, the feeling of complete safety that came when he held them, the comfort of his arms around them. "I love your mouth." His voice was nearly a whisper, and he spoke into the crook of their neck with a sort of reverence they only heard when he talked to them. "I love the way it looks, the way it feels when you kiss me, the words that you speak, and the way it moves when you say them. I love everything about you, and everything you do. You are beautiful, you’re absolutely fucking gorgeous, but you're so much more than that."

Poison couldn't speak. They turned around and cupped Ghoul's face, searching for any hint of insincerity or irony in his eyes. He looked back at them with nothing but adoration and openness. They opened their mouth, trying to articulate just how much his words meant to them, how much  _ he _ meant to them, but nothing they could have said would have been enough. So they just wrapped their arms around him and hoped he understood. 

###  Benzedrine

Benze watched as Korse raised his gun, as Psycho pushed Kobra back and stepped in front of him, as the beam of light hit Psycho squarely in the chest. 

Someone screamed. He couldn't tell who. It could have been him, or Sandman, or Beauty, or all of them at once. He felt himself freeze up briefly before the medic in him took over and he rushed to Psycho’s side, hearing Sandman come up close behind him to help. Psycho was conscious, but just barely and losing blood rapidly. Beauty and Sandman went to pick him up and move him out of harm's way as Kobra stared at him with wide eyes. Once he was as completely out of any fire line, Benze kneeled down at his friend to look at him.

“C’mon Psycho, stay with us…” Benze murmured, needing him to keep his eyes open as long as possible. “You need to go home… You need to watch Evie grow up. You have too, c’mon.”

Psycho shook his head with a small grin on his face. “Sil’ll do just fine without me,” he slurred, eyes mostly shut and words barely intelligible. “Evie’s…. she's got… you guys. And I had to… Kobra… For Sandman… He deserves it.”

Benze turned around and saw Sandman’s eyes wide and full of tears. “What do you mean?” he said, his voice practically a whisper.

“Kobra… I… You… Kobra,” his words were barely coherent anymore. He was breathing quickly and Sandman was wiping tears rapidly, moving to bury his face in Beauty’s arm. “I…”

“No, no, don’t talk,” Benze said as he took his jacket to sop up Psycho’s blood. He felt the panic start to set again. What were they gonna tell the little seven-year-old waiting for her daddy to come home? “Just save your strength, stay awake. C’mon, think of Sil, think of Evie.”

“Sil…” Psycho repeated contently. The grin on his face widened slightly as if he was reliving a thousand moments he'd never get again if Benze couldn't get him out of this alive. “Si… I… I’m sorry…”

Benze was starting to shake now as his unsteady hands went to observe the gash more closely. It was so close to his heart…. With the supplies they had with them at the moment, Psycho was a goner. 

“Evie? Evie? Sil?” his time was different now, as if he saw them right in front of him. Benze wiped a bloodstained arm over his face and leaned back, throwing his head back as he realized this was it. Psycho was dying. He chuckled softly to himself as he finally let his eyes slide shut. “Evie…” and then the subtle rise and fall of his chest stopped. And Benze buried his face in his hands and let out a quiet sob. He had failed. He failed his friend, he failed his crew, he failed Psycho’s girlfriend and daughter, waiting for him in the Underground. So he just let himself cry, as the rest of his crew stared in shock at the now lifeless body of their friend.

###  Sandman

For the first time in Sandman’s entire life, he had nothing to say. Ever since Psycho had died, he hadn't spoken a word. Not to his crew, not to Kobra. He couldn't even look at Kobra. Part of him was still partially denying that the whole thing even happened. How could Psycho be dead? Psycho had spent hours with Sandman some nights, when he felt so awful he couldn't sleep and needed to be with someone. Psycho would get up, away from his family and keep Sandman company, listen to him rant or just sit with him and say anything to fill the silence. Psycho would make him laugh even when he felt like his whole world was crashing in front of him. And now it seemed it really was. 

Once everyone had returned to an area to regroup before heading back to the Underground the next morning, everyone was silent once again. The Youngbloods stuck together and Cherri and Pony had gone to stick with Kobra and Jet. Sandman was still leaning on Beauty, staring numbly at the space in front of him with his head on his shoulders. Eventually, Kobra had walked over and Sandman closed his eyes and sighed. He couldn't run from him anymore.

“Sandman, I—” Kobra started, anxiously glancing at each of the Youngbloods. “I’m so fucking sorry, Sunshine, I didn't know Psy— he would do anything, I’m seriously so sorry.”

Sandman lifted his head and looked back at Kobra with no emotion on his face but everything he could possibly feel loaded into his voice. “Do you even fucking  _ know  _ how hard this is for me? I just lost the person who single-handedly kept me alive for  _ years _ , how could you possibly know what's going on in my head?”

Kobra stumbled back, looking as if he'd been punched before the hurt in his face seemed to turn to anger. “You fucking  _ bastard _ . Do you honestly think I haven't lost people who were important to me? Why do you think Poison and I are in the desert in the first place? How do you think we got out there?" He paused, and his face seemed to crumple. "His name was Carson. He was eight years old. We tried to take him with us when we left, but they took him. Poison refuses to even think about it, they think they failed him. Somewhere out there, my little brother is drugged out of his mind and probably being turned into a fucking Scarecrow! So don't you  _ ever  _ tell me I don't know what that feels like!" Kobra was in his face now, and part of Sandman was screaming at him to stop, to shut his mouth before he said something that really fucked this up. 

"Well you're still a fucking coward for not stopping him," he spat, and as soon as the words came out of his mouth he regretted them. Kobra stepped back, a thousand emotions flickering across his face, but more words fell from his lips before he could catch them. "He has- had, a fucking daughter waiting for him to come home. His girlfriend is going to have to explain to a seven year old why her dad is never coming home!"

"Okay, you know what? Fine. I was just trying to be a decent boyfriend and fucking empathize, but if you're gonna be a bitch about it, fine. Do whatever." He stormed out, leaving the room full of shocked silence and a hole in Sandman's chest. After a second, Jet stood up and followed him. Benze took a breath.

"Someone has to call Sil." No one said a word. The weight of what had to be done hung on everyone, and Sandman couldn’t bring himself to volunteer.

“I’ll do it,” Beauty offered, and gently pushed Sandman off of him. He picked up the radio gingerly, and the entire world held its breath. He pressed the button on the radio. “Sil?”

“Uncle Beauty? Where’s my dad?” Beauty’s eyes widened and he looked to Benze, who nodded solemnly.

“Evie? Can- Can I talk to your mom?”

“Oh, yea, sure, just a sec.”

“Beauty?” Sil’s voice crackled through the speaker, soft and uneasy. “What’s going on?”

“We just got back from the run… and...” he took a deep breath. “Psycho… he- he didn’t make it.” 

The radio was silent for what seemed like an eternity, and Beauty sat down on the floor heavily, the radio held loosely in his hand as he stared blankly at the wall in front of him. After what could have been either ten minutes or an hour it crackled to life once more, and Sil’s broken voice rang throughout the room.

“What happened?” 

“He jumped in front of one of the killjoys, saved his life. That guy Sandman’s been talking about, Kobra. An Exterminator has made it his mission to make the killjoys’ lives hell.” His voice started to break, and he handed the radio off to Benze.

“We did the best we could,” he offered, “he said to tell you he’s sorry. The last thing he said was… was Evie's name.” 

“Fuck. Of course he would. Of course he fucking would.”

“So… what do we do now?” Evie’s voice was scared and rough, like she’d been crying, and Sandman’s heart shattered. He held his hand out for the radio and Benze tossed it over to him.

“Hey Evie, I know you’re probably really scared right now,” he paused as his throat started to close up and wiped away the tears forming in his eyes, “I know you’re scared, and sad, and so am I, so are the others, but we’re going to make it through this. We’re going to fight those bastards that took him because it’s what he would want. And it’s okay to be sad right now, that’s normal, but your dad would want you to be happy eventually, so you can’t let it get to you, okay?” 

“Okay… I love you guys.” 

“We love you too, kiddo.” Somehow talking to Evie about all this helped calm him down, but with the calm came the realization of what he’d said to Kobra. “Hey, I’m going to give the radio back to Benze alright, I’ve got something I need to do.” He passed the radio to Benze. “I need to talk to Kobra.” Benze nodded and he left out the door Kobra and Jet went through.

Sandman’s stomach twisted in knots as he searched for Kobra. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and wrapped it around his fingers, glancing into each doorway. He found the two Killjoys in an old bedroom, Kobra lying down in the bed and Jet sitting next to him, rubbing his hand down his arm comfortingly. He paused for a moment, then knocked on the doorframe. 

“What do you want?” Kobra spat, and he flinched, but sat down on the floor as Kobra sat up. “You going to call me a coward again?” 

“Kobra,” Jet said, “do you want me to go, or…”

“No, stay.” Kobra shot Sandman a withering look and he held up his hands in a show of peace.

“I- I’m sorry.” Kobra raised an eyebrow. “What I said was super shitty, and I talked to Psycho's daughter, and it helped me calm down, and I realized that I shouldn't have said what I said. It wasn't your fault. I would've frozen if that fucker talked shit about my brothers too. He- he saved you for me, I think, and it wouldn't be fair to his memory if I blamed you for what happened. So I'm here to tell you that I don't." Kobra was silent for a long time, studying Sandman's face as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. 

"I didn't mean for this to happen," he muttered, "I didn't even realize what was happening until he-" he broke off and looked helplessly to Jet, who wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He struggled to speak for a few seconds, then sat down on the floor in front of Sandman and took his hands. "Thank you." 

“I was just scared and upset and… and I was worried,” Sandman continued. “I lost a brother, you know? He was important to me. And his kid, I’ve known that little girl her whole life. I’ve watched her grow up. Psycho was her fucking hero, man. It just hurts because I  _ know  _ she’ll have a super hard time without him. I wasn’t thinking straight, I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

Kobra nodded. “I appreciate it. And… yeah, yeah I get it. If it were Poison or Jet, I’d react the same way, I… I love you, Sunshine.”

Sandman smiled small and went in to press a small kiss to Kobra’s lips. “I love you. Thank you for putting up with me,” he joked, and the blonde punched his arm playfully. 

“Always, Sunshine.” He glanced down at their hands, then up at Jet, shooting him a look Sandman couldn’t quite decipher. Jet shrugged, then gave Kobra’s shoulder one more squeeze.

“I’m going to get food, either of you want anything?” Kobra shook his head, and Jet nodded, then shut the door behind him. The blonde looked back at Sandman, twisting their fingers.

“Parker,” he said at last.

“What?”

“That was my name. Before. I figured you should know, in case something happens.” Holy shit. Kobra trusted him enough to tell him his  _ name. _ That was the one thing that kept you safe, kept those you may have left behind safe. 

“Mine was Ryan.”

###  Sil

Sil’s head was spinning, she felt dizzy and could barely see straight. Her throat was closing up and she could barely speak. Her whole world was ending. Psycho was dead. How could Psycho  _ die _ ? In what world could American Psycho actually die? She threw her radio at the ground hard, sobbing now as she leaned against a wall and fell to the ground.

“I hate him,” she choked out after a couple minutes of her just sobbing. “That  _ motherfucker _ , I fucking hate him!!” Sil wiped her eyes roughly as she started to calm down a bit and she glanced to the side.  _ Fuck _ . Her daughter. Evie was still there, looking at her mother with a mortified expression on her face.

“You ha--You hate him?” murmured the child, looking like she was shaking, her eyes filled with tears. Sil looked at her daughter, her eyes sad as she moved forward to hug her, pressing a hand protectively against her head.

“Aw, no, cupcake…” Sil murmured against her hair. “No, I loved him a lot. He was my soulmate… I’m gonna miss him a lot. You know, he was crazy about you, babygirl. He loved you a lot.”

Evie had begun to cry into Sil’s shoulder. “Why’d he save that boy?” she murmured. “If he didn’t, he could’ve come home.”

Sil broke the hug and leaned against the wall again. “It was the boy your Uncle Sandman talked about when he came over a bit ago. Sandman, he loves him a lot… He would’ve been really really sad if he died. Your dad didn’t wanna see his friend sad.”

“Didn’t he love us though?” Evie’s voice was quiet and broken, something Sil never thought she’d hear from her energetic, cheerful little girl. Sil wiped her eyes roughly again. Evie looked up to her father more than anything, how awful must she had been feeling if she thought he didn’t love her.

“Of course he did, honey, he loved us more than anything, but Sandman’s one of his best friends, he must’ve known something we didn’t, or he never would have left us.” Evie nodded into her chest, her small fingers curling into Sil’s shirt. 

“Are we going to get to see him again?” Sil didn’t know what to say. How could she tell her little girl that they’d never see him again? “Did they get his body?”

“I don’t think so,” she whispered, “let’s get you to bed.” She picked up the girl and carried her into her room. 

Evie shook her head and fought for Sil to put her down. “N-no, I don’t wanna.”

“C’mon cupcake, I know you're sad but maybe you'll feel better a little in the morning.” Sil didn't believe her words, but she needed to get Evie to sleep. She just needed a little bit of time alone to process her thoughts. To think about Psycho and how much she loved him. How empty her life was about to become without him coming home to her. 

“I'm not going to sleep.” Evie stood by her words, crossing her arms. “I want to hear Dad's song." Fuck. He would sing to her every night before going to bed, she wouldn't sleep when he didn't. 

"I know, I know, but he's not here, and he won't be, so you're going to have to try and sleep without it." Evie huffed and stuck out her tongue but climbed into her bed. "Thanks, Cupcake. I know it's hard right now, but we're going to be okay."

"We are?" Evie smiled hopefully, and Sil laughed and ruffled her hair. 

"Yeah, we are." 

###  Poison

The room Poison shared with Ghoul had a large armchair, and they sat in it, Ghoul in their arms. Their forehead was pressed against his cheek, and they ran their fingers up and down his arms and torso. Since their conversation earlier, they had been unable to pull themself away from him, craving his touch. They still couldn't find the words to express how much he meant to them, how much what he'd said meant to them. 

One of his hands held tightly to theirs, his thumb brushing over their knuckles. They lifted their head and kissed his cheek softly, letting their mouth linger as they breathed in the smell of his skin. His skin was soft, warm, comforting. He turned his head and connected his lips with theirs, brushing his free hand through their hair.

They sat in comfortable silence, not because they couldn't find anything to talk about, but because they didn't need to. Poison's fingers caressing his body and Ghoul's on their face seemed to say everything that needed to be said. The last few days without this had seemed to stretch on for years, and this moment felt like a glass of cool water after walking through the desert for weeks. Poison felt Ghoul’s face, buried in their hair and pressed into their neck.

“You’re fucking disgusting, you know that?” he murmured softly into their skin. Poison chuckled, a finger travelling down Ghoul’s arm.

“Why’s that, Darling?” Their voice was quiet and calm as they spoke, loving the feeling of Ghoul with them. 

He lifted his head and took some of Poison’s hair in his hand. “You’re so fucking greasy, look at you.” They shifted to get a better look at his face and pouted dramatically, then stuck out their tongue.

“Like you’re much better,” they laughed and Ghoul pressed a soft kiss to their neck. 

“Look, we’re both nasty as shit, but if anything, I’m making you shower now ‘cause your hair’s not soft anymore and I miss your soft hair.” 

Poison smiled and kissed Ghoul softly. “You’re coming with me you greasy bastard,” they laughed as their fiance hugged them and smiled. They pushed him off of their lap playfully, then wrapped their arms around his waist and pulled him into the bathroom. 

“I can’t believe there's hot water here,” Ghoul marvelled, taking Poison’s hands once they had pulled off their weeks-old clothes and pulling them into the shower, “It feels so nice.” He pushed them under the water, and every muscle in their body relaxed, probably too quickly. The blood rushed to their head and Ghoul just barely managed to catch them before their knees gave out. “Woah, steady Love. Why don’t we sit down for a minute, okay?” They nodded slowly and he laughed as they slid down the wall. He sat down in front of them and brushed a soaked strand of hair out of their face. “You’re adorable.”

“I love you,” they sighed, running their fingers across his neck and shoulders. He smiled and pressed a slow kiss to their lips. 

“I love you too.” Ghoul took their hands and pulled them to their feet. “Now we should actually wash your hair.” Poison moved to grab the shampoo, but he caught their wrist and brought it to his mouth, kissing it softly. “Let me.”

He poured soap into his hands, then slowly ran his fingers through their hair. They watched his face as he massaged their scalp, followed the droplets of water that flowed down his cheeks, the ones that got caught in his eyelashes. He didn’t notice their stare, and his tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth, a habit he had picked up from them.

A smile began to grow on Poison’s lips, and they finally caught his eye. Ghoul grinned and paused, letting his thumbs drift across their cheekbones. He kissed them, slow and soft, then started again with their hair, piling the blood-red strands on top of their head. Tears they hadn’t known were building began to flow down their cheeks. 

“Aw, hey, what’s wrong?” He rinsed his hands off then cupped their face gently. “What is it?” The tears turned into sobs and they threw their arms around their bewildered fiance, who pulled them closer as the two sank to the floor. “Hey, hey, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” they choked out, “you- you’re so… you’re so wonderful, I love you, so  _ fucking much _ . I kn-I know it’s been three years but this is—this is all still so  _ new _ to me. Having so—Having someone who treats me like you do. It’s so fu—It feels so good. I’ve never in my life been handled wi—handled with so much  _ love. _ ”

Ghoul pulled them in so their head was against his chest. “I know you’ve been treated like shit in the past, but it’s not like that with me. You know it’s not. You know I love you so much.”

“It’s just overwhelming,” murmured Poison, tears still freely flowing from their eyes. “It’s overwhelming to feel safe, even after all this time. I do--Sometimes I don’t think you’re real. It’s overwhelming to know I’ve found you.”

“What?” Ghoul’s voice was barely a whisper as he pressed a kiss to their head.

“It’s overwhelming to know I've found my soulmate,” they said, feeling Ghoul tense for just a second at the word, ‘soulmate.’ Once he relaxed again, Poison pressed a kiss to his chest, and ran his fingers over his upper body softly. “Thank you… for fixing me. For showing me love exists.”

Ghoul chuckled. “You know, when I first left the city, I swore I’d never fall in love. I thought it was dangerous and, fuck, it really is, but I wanna go back and tell little teenage me who thought he was all high and mighty for swearing off love to give it a few years and he’ll-”

“Fall for someone broken beyond repair,” Poison finished, sighing into Ghoul’s chest.

“Hey!” He took hold of their chin and bought their eyes up to meet his. “Hey, that’s not true. You’re  _ not _ broken, you hear me? You’re healing from intense trauma. You remember just a couple days ago? You couldn’t even touch me then. You couldn’t speak. Now look at you. You’re sitting in my arms, with literally nothing between us. You’re doing so good, Love, you’re healing so quick. I’m more proud of you than you could ever know.” He kissed their forehead and lowered his voice to a whisper, just barely louder than the water cascading over them. “I’d tell my younger self to wait a few years for the most amazing person he’s ever going to meet, who’s going to make him feel like he could fly, even on days when everything seems hopeless. I’d tell him to wait for that person, because they’re the best fucking thing that’s ever going to happen to him, and because of them he’s never going to be afraid of being alone again, ‘cause he’ll know they’re always going to be there for him. He’ll show them the darkest parts of him, that he swore he’d never show anyone, and they’ll look at those parts, those hideous, disgusting parts, and love him anyway.” He kissed their nose and they pressed their forehead to his, once again rendered speechless. “And I’d tell him he’s going to love every part of them, every scarred, beautiful part, because he can’t help it, and that even after being so completely in love with them for over four years, they still give him butterflies when they smile at him, like they’re still on their first date together, even though they’re going to be fucking  _ married _ soon. I'd tell him that they're going to fix each other, and when they're together the whole world melts away and he'll feel completely and utterly safe, and he'll travel a lot but as long as he's with them he's home, because they'll be his home. They'll help him let people in, and he'll trust them completely, sometimes more than he trusts himself, and he'll love them more than he's ever loved anything in his life." He paused, brushing his fingers up and down their cheeks, then looked up at their hair and snorted. "We have to get the soap out of your hair," he laughed, tugging at one of the strands playfully. Poison groaned and buried their face in Ghoul’s neck.

“I don’t want to move,” they whined, “Can’t we do that later, Darling?” 

“No, it’s been in there long enough, come on.” He grabbed their hands and pulled them to their feet with a smile. “You can do mine next, Gorgeous.” He combed his fingers through their hair, careful to keep the soap out of their eyes as the water rinsed it out. 

“I love you,” they whispered, wrapping their arms around him once all of the soap was out of their hair. “I feel so safe here, with you.” Poison traced the tattoos on his chest, usually hidden by his shirt. “You’re so safe, and I’ve always struggled with how to tell you exactly how much what you’ve said means to me, and I think the best way I can describe it is that you’re safe. You’re safe, and you feel like home, and I want you to know I never thought you would hurt me. I have always trusted you, and I always will. You keep me sane. I’m finally safe.” They cupped his face, their thumbs brushing over his lips with careful concentration. He sucked in a breath and leaned into their touch.

“You’ll always be safe with me.”


	14. Chapter 14

###  Kobra 

Sandman had been clinging to Kobra ever since they had made up, always holding his hand or wrapping his arms around the blonde's waist. In the beginning it was strange, still not used to the sheer amount of affection the shorter boy showed. He wasn’t complaining, not by a long shot, the constant contact would bring a smile to his face whenever Sandman glanced up at him. 

“I feel like Poison,” he laughed when Sandman sat in his lap, “you’re so clingy. Last week you wouldn’t stop complaining about them, and here you are, literally in my lap.” He wrapped an arm over the boy’s shoulders and played with the short hair at the nape of his neck. “Ghoul’s never going to let you live this down, you know.”

“He can go to hell,” the shorter boy grumbled, burying his face in Kobra’s neck, “You’re comfy.” Kobra ginned and pressed a kiss to his hair.

“How are you doing today, Sunshine?” 

“I’m not sure.” His voice quieted and he picked at the hem of his shirt. “I feel kind of numb, I guess. It’s still kind of hard to process the fact that he’s gone.” 

“You’ll be okay. I’ll be here for you for as long as I can, alright?”

“I love you. I want you to meet his family. They’re wonderful. His girlfriend’s such a sweetheart and his daughter’s fucking adorable. I love that kid like she’s my own.”

Kobra felt a pang in his chest as Sandman spoke. Right, Psycho had a family. A child. A little kid who was left without a father. All because of him. “I don’t know if that’s the best idea,” murmured Kobra, sounding slightly anxious. “Won’t they be all pissed at me?”

Sandman shrugged. “Sil won’t, she’ll get it. She’s a sweetheart,” started Sandman. “But there’s no point in not going. You’d have met Evie anyway, I’m with her a ton, I love that kid.”

Biting his lip, Kobra rested his chin on Sandman’s shoulder. “I just don't want to cross any boundaries. Or upset them. Especially while all this is so fresh.”

“Fuck, why are you such a good person?” Sandman chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to Kobra’s lips. “Look, dear, try not to worry too much. I promise you that Sil won't be upset at all, she'll understand. She's the sweetest woman I've ever met.” 

“I don’t know, Sunshine. What about his daughter?” 

“He was her hero, she might not be as… gracious about it.” Kobra nodded, pressing another kiss to Sandman’s head. “I would really appreciate it if you would come with me later to check in on them, though.”

“If you need me to be there, I will.”

They gathered in the same room they had planned everything, this time joined by the woman and the infant, who Cherri said was their reason for going in the first place, whatever that meant. Poison had tackled Kobra in a hug as soon as they’d seen him, clinging to him while Ghoul hugged Jet.

“You’re okay,” they nearly sobbed, “Thank the Witch you’re okay. I heard about what happened. With… with him.” They pulled back and inspected his face. “That has to feel awful, are you alright?” He shrugged. 

“I- I think I’m okay? The Juvies are barely holding it together, I’ve had to calm Sandman down several times now. He was kind of bitter at first, which is fine, they’ve lost the closest thing they’ve had to a brother, but now he’s just  _ sad _ .” He took a breath. “But what about you? You couldn’t even talk before we left, what happened?” They glanced over at where Ghoul and Jet were catching up, a soft smile growing on their face.

“Ghoul. I don’t know exactly what he did, we really just talked and cuddled, but I’m feeling almost back to normal. There’s the occasional… episode, but he’s been here the whole time, perfect and lovely like he always is.” Poison’s face lit up as they spoke, their fingers twirling a strand of blood-red hair. 

“I’m so glad you’re happy, and feeling better.” Kobra pulled them back into a hug, relief washing through him when they hugged him back. “You deserve it.” They grinned up at him, then linked their arm through his and dragged him over to the other half of their crew. 

“How’s it going over here,” they quipped, letting go of Kobra’s arm and latching themself onto their fiance. They buried their face in his neck and muttered something he didn’t catch. “Not having too much fun without us, are you?” They said aloud, pressing a kiss to Ghoul’s cheek and grinning at the others. 

“Someone’s chipper,” the dark haired boy giggled, "any reason in particular?" They kissed his cheek again then glanced back at Kobra with wide eyes.

"Jet and Kobra are back, I'm feeling better, you're here, they have  _ coffee _ ." They spoke so fast their words started tripping over each other, and Jet glanced at Kobra worriedly. 

"Poison, how much coffee have you had?" Jet took a step closer and studied their face. 

"Three or four cups I think, it's so much _ better _ here, my bones are vibrating." They held up their hand, which was indeed shaking, and grinned again. Ghoul brought his hand up to theirs and inspected it. "I'm _ fine _ , Darling. I feel better than I have since I got shot."

"That's great, but maybe tone it down a little," Kobra cut in, "they've lost someone, remember?" Poison's face fell, and they nodded, wrapping their arms tighter around Ghoul's middle. "Sorry, it's just that this has been really hard on Sandman, and-"

"It's fine, I'm sorry. It's not right for right now, I get it. I'd be the same if I lost any of you," their voice lowered with each word, and they pressed closer to Ghoul while stretching a hand out for the others. Jet chuckled and accepted, followed by Kobra.

“Ghoul, you’ve got to make sure they don’t have too much,” he joked, “they look like they could explode.” Poison smiled big at Kobra, squeezing their arms around Ghoul tightly and pressing another kiss to his cheek.

“I still don’t know how it happened, they can still barely walk a few steps without me,” Ghoul laughed, leaning his head on Poison’s and chuckling at his fiance.

“It wasn’t that hard, Darling,” Poison said, “we were sitting right next to the coffee maker. I just kept getting it when you weren’t paying attention.” Ghoul opened his mouth to respond, but just then Cherri and the woman finished talking and turned to address everyone else.

“Okay, so we have a bit of an issue. This is Alana, and she isn't the infant's mother, so we need someone to take care of her." 

"We can do it!" Poison jumped up, almost knocking Ghoul over. 

"Slow down, Gorgeous. Are you sure we can handle a kid right now?" He laid a hand on their arm and they glanced down at him, then over to Kobra, pleading. "You've not even completely healed yet, none of us have any experience with children, there must be tons of people here more qualified than we are."

"We have to be careful with who we trust this child with," Cherri warned, glancing from the kid to the Four, his gaze crossing each of them. "D wants us to keep information about her between as few people as possible."

"So as a general rule, if they're not in this room or someone you'd trust with everything you own, don't tell them," Pony muttered, swinging their legs from their perch on the table. "She's much more important than any of us know."

"Which is why we should take her with us," Poison pressed, "We live out in the middle of nowhere, we don't ever see anyone unless we go looking for them. She'd be safe with us, and we can teach her how to survive and shit." They turned to Ghoul and took his hands. "Come on, Darling, please?"

"Jet?" 

"I mean…" Jet wrung his hands and glanced at Poison, who was practically bouncing as they wrapped their arms around Ghoul's neck and placed their chin on his head. "They're right. It's so crowded here, if you want to keep her secret, the Desert's the best place to do it. We've got nothing around us for miles." 

Ghoul sighed and squeezed Poison’s hand. Everyone knew he couldn’t say no to them to save his life. So he hopefully glanced to Kobra who shrugged and smiled at his sibling. He looked back to Cherri and crossed his arms. “We’ll take her.”

Kobra squeezed Sandman’s hand anxiously as he led him through the Underground. They were going to see Psycho’s family and Kobra  _ had  _ promised he’d go, but that didn’t mean he was any less nervous. Sandman kept looking back at him, smiling and trying to calm him down. Tell him that Sil was a sweetheart, she wouldn’t be upset. She’d understand he felt guilty and it wasn’t his fault. Evie was a little kid, don’t worry if she’s upset. But he couldn’t help but feel like shit. He couldn’t help but think that this woman and her daughter were left without a boyfriend, without a father because he couldn’t get his shit together with his gun.

“Here, let’s wait until you calm down a little, dear,” said Sandman softly, stopping right outside of a house. “We can go in once you’re feeling a bit better.” He softly dragged the back of his hand down Kobra’s face and smiled, his voice soft and comforting. Kobra leaned into his touch, sighing and closing his eyes.

“Thank you,” he murmured, feeling the racing in his chest start to calm. “I-I’ll be fine in a minute I just--” He took a deep breath, opening his eyes again and meeting Sandman’s eyes, his pupils huge. “I’ve already hurt this family enough.”

Sandman shook his head and took Kobra’s face in his hand, forcing the taller boy to look down at him. “No, no, no, Kobes, none of this was your fault. Psycho was selfless as shit, he wasn’t thinking about anything other than keeping you alive in that moment, he-- he knew how much you meant to me. I don’t know if you know this, but right before the blood loss made him delirious, he said he saved you for me. ‘Cause he wanted me to be happy. If anything, it’s my fault.”

Kobra felt Sandman pull his face down for a kiss and once it broke Kobra crossed his arms. “No, Sunshine, it’s not your fault. You said it yourself, he wasn’t thinking about himself, I-- It’s neither of our faults. Okay, I’m feeling better now, let’s go.”

Sandman nodded and took his hand again. “You’ll be okay, Dear. If you get overwhelmed, just tell me and we can leave. I can come back another time.”

“I-I’ll be okay,” Kobra promised, kissing Sandman again. He noticed the way Sandman fiddled with Psycho’s mask. That and his gun were all they were able to get from him, they didn’t have the resources to take his body. He had decided to give the mask to Evie, he thought it’d help her cope and Kobra thought it was really fucking sweet. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He took a breath, his grip tightening on Kobra’s hand, then knocked on the door. 

“Sandman!” A woman with dark brown hair streaked with pale blue opened the door and promptly threw her arms around the boy. 

“Hey, Sil.” He pressed his face into her hair. “How are you guys holding up?”

“Not good,” she laughed dryly then opened the door to let them in. “You must be Kobra. We’ve heard so much about you.” Kobra laughed nervously and took Sandman’s hand again. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. Evie’s just been… Fuck, I don’t know. I don’t even know anymore. It- it’s just… fuck.” She sat down heavily on the couch, burying her face in her hands. “I’m so worried about her. He always knew just what to say to her to make her smile, to get her out of moods, she was such a daddy’s girl. I don’t know what to do. What do I do?” She looked at the boys helplessly and Sandman pulled her back into his chest. Kobra watched them, feeling out of place.

“You just have to keep going. For her. You know Psycho loved you guys. He would’ve wanted you two to go on without him.” He brushed his fingers through her hair, gently tugging out the knots that had formed. “We’re all here for you guys, whatever you need.” She nodded into his chest and pulled back, scrubbing her face with her sleeve.

“Evie’s going to be so excited to see you.” She straightened out her shirt and pulled her hair back, her fingers trembling slightly. “She needs the company right now. She’s sleeping right now, the last few days have been exhausting for the both of us, but she should be up soon, if you don’t mind waiting?”

“Of course,” Sandman assured her, “Kobra and I don’t really have anything else to do for a while, right, Dear?” He looked at Kobra hopefully, who was caught off guard at the sudden mention of his name, but he nodded.

“I mean, I can always leave if you want me to,” he offered shyly, “but until Poison gets their nerve up to get their transfusion I’ve basically got nothing to do. Even then they’ve got Ghoul with them but I’d still kinda like to be there for that.” He paused, wringing his hands and studying the woman. “Sorry, I just realized I didn’t get your name.”

“Fuck, sorry, I’m Silver Bullet, you can call me Sil, everyone does.” Sil stood and held out her hand, which he took gladly, still fighting the nerves crawling their way up his stomach. “You can sit down, by the way, I don’t bite.” She chuckled at her joke and Kobra sat down next to Sandman, who immediately shifted closer to him and took his hand. 

“I’m Kobra Kid, and I just want to thank you, you could’ve easily been bitter, which is completely reasonable, but you’re not and I just really apprecia-” Sandman cut him off, pressing a finger to his lips.

“I think she gets it, Dear.” He grinned as Kobra clamped his jaw shut. Sil watched them curiously, a sad expression passing over her face before she smiled.

“So how did you two meet?” Sandman opened his mouth, then flushed and closed it again, staring at their linked hands.

“We met out in the Desert,” Kobra said, kissing Sandman’s cheek before continuing, “At one of the racetracks out in Zone Five. He’d just won a race and everyone was kind of gathered around him and a friend of mine introduced us. He was being such a cocky bastard but he was just so  _ cute _ , I couldn’t resist when he challenged me to a race. So we raced and I beat his ass,” Kobra heard Sandman’s chuckle and felt him lean his head into the crook of his neck. “And after we both got stuck together in a shed during an acid rainstorm… And I realized that I didn't just think he was cute, I wanted to be  _ with  _ thi—” Kobra stopped as he noticed Sil, her smile relatively sad and tears adamant in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly, stopping and looking down where he fiddled with his hands in his lap.

“No, no, don't worry about me,” she said, wiping her eyes. “I may have a dead boyfriend but you've got a perfectly alive one, you're allowed to be in love with him without worrying about me. What happened to Psycho was… unfortunate but in the world we live in, we’re lucky we got as long as we did. We never could've had a long, domestic life as much as we may have wanted it.”

Kobra nodded awkwardly and there were a couple moments of unsettling silence before Sandman swooped in to speak. “Sil, why don't you tell Kobra about how you and Psycho met? Only if you're okay doing it.”

Sil nodded, smiling to herself. “I haven't been able to get that story out of my head since we found out. I've told Evie like twice now.” She chuckled softly before wiping her eyes quickly and folding her hands in her lap. “BLI was planning to destroy one of their facilities…. There had been a breach, so D sent the Youngbloods to go get as many people out as they could. Sandman, actually, was the one who grabbed me initially. Psycho got me right as we were leaving. I remember, he though I was pretty so he stayed with me the whole time they weaned me off the drugs. He came to visit me every single day. I still remember the way he looked at me, he was the only person in the whole of the Underground who didn't look at me like I was broken, like I was damaged. He treated me like a person. He let me stay with him once I was clean and slowly but surely, I fell in love with him. I miss him like crazy, but we had a good run. I got the best decade of my life, some priceless memories, and a beautiful little girl out of it.” She wiped her eyes again and smiled to herself before continuing, “And she looks just like him… So he's still here, in a way.”

Sandman smiled and continued talking to her, consoling her. Kobra had kinda just zoned out from the conversation, but was observing her. She was probably the prettiest girl he'd ever seen, long dark and silver hair and big blue eyes. But at the same time, she was a mess, quite understandably. She had just lost her boyfriend. Her hair was a mess, knotted and flying all around, her eyes puffy and bloodshot, with heavy bags underneath. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt, that Kobra assumed was probably Psycho’s from the way it hung off her small frame. He wished there was something, anything he could do to make this situation easier on her. How hard it must’ve been, to deal with the grief at losing somebody you loved and then have to watch a little kid go through it as well. He really felt for her. His thoughts were soon interrupted by a small voice from the background.

“Mom? Who’re you talking to?” 

Sil smiled softly and her eyes flashed back up to Sandman and Kobra. “Evie’s up. I’ll go get her for you.” She got up and headed over to where the voice came from, calling, “Uncle Sandman’s here, Cupcake.”

Sandman and Kobra sat in silence while they waited for Sil to come back. Sandman squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek, causing a small smile. Before long, Sil came back, carrying a little girl, who seemed rather small for her age. She had the same big blue eyes as Sil and the thick, curly hair that Psycho had. Sandman stood up and took the mask he had been carrying. He walked over to Sil and Evie, placing the mask onto her face.

“I missed you, Peanut,” he said, leaning down to her level. “How've you been holding up?”

Evie shrugged, her hands on her father’s mask. Sil smiled at her and handed her over to Sandman, who went and sat down next to Kobra, placing her on his lap. “I miss him,” she said softly, her voice quiet and high. “He pro– promised me he'd come home soon when we called him last.” Sandman’s face softened and he pulled her onto his lap.

“I know, but things happened that no one was prepared for, and your dad managed to save a lot of people, including someone very important to me." he glanced at Kobra and gave him a lopsided smile, then turned back to the girl. "Your dad's a hero," he said, poking her side with each syllable, "And one day you're gonna be one too." Evie giggled and slipped off his lap. “I’m gonna be over more often, okay? I’m gonna help you and your mom get through this. It’s gonna get better, I promise.”

Sil sat down by Kobra and wiped her eyes. “Thank you, Sandman. We love you so fucking much.” Evie hugged Sandman, who kissed the top of her head and smiled, rustling her hair. She looked to Kobra and the smile on her face melted away and she looked from Sandman to her mother before speaking.

"Is that him?" Sil nodded warily, looking ready to take her from Sandman at a moment's notice. Evie stared at Kobra with narrowed eyes, her fingers curling tightly around Sandman's jacket. "I want my dad back." Her voice was cold as she studied him, and Sandman took his hand again. "You better be worth it." She pulled out of Sandman's grip and sat next to Sil, still sizing up Kobra. 

"Evie," her mother chided, "That wasn't nice." She shot Kobra a look. "Sorry, she's just…" He held up his hands in surrender. 

"It's totally fine," he assured her, "I understand." Sandman smiled and shuffled closer to his side, their shoulders and hips touching. 

"Evie, this is Kobra, he's..." He paused and studied the blonde, then rested his head on his shoulder. "He's my boyfriend. We're kind of like your mom and dad, and he means a lot to me, more than I can figure out how to express. I need him. So I need you to be nice to him. For me, ‘cause you mean a lot to me, Peanut. I can’t have the coolest chick I know hating my boyfriend.” Evie crossed her arms and nodded, still eyeing Kobra suspiciously. “Thanks, Evie.” He smiled at her and leaned into Kobra until his head was in the blonde’s lap. “I love you.” Sandman wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled their faces together. 

“Ewwwww! Uncle Sandman! That’s gross!” Evie groaned and threw a pillow at them. Sandman pulled back and flipped her off, then quickly pulled his hand down when Sil raised an eyebrow. 

“Shit, sorry Sil. It’s a bit of a habit. I had a bit of an issue with Kobra’s sibling and their fiance when we first met.” He pulled himself up and tossed the pillow back at Evie. He gave Kobra another kiss then lunged for the girl, wrapping his arms around her waist and hefting her over his shoulder. “I think you need some cheering up, let’s get some snacks, huh?” He carried her into the kitchen, her laughter echoing through the house.

Sil smiled after them, then turned her attention to Kobra, who shifted awkwardly in his seat. 

“So… Sandman really likes you,” she said after a moment. “You’ve probably heard the ‘don’t hurt him or they’ll never find your body’ spiel from the Youngbloods already, so I’m not going to threaten you or anything, but be careful with him, okay?”

“I- yeah, of course. I- I love him.” He played with the tag of his zipper, unable to bring his eyes to her face. “He’s one of the first people to make me feel like I’m not some sort of accessory to someone else, that I’m worth being my own person and not just a shadow of my crew or one aspect of who I am.” His voice was beginning to shake, he didn’t know why he’d said so much to this woman he’d just met, but she nodded along with his words like she understood.

“Psycho did that for me,” she murmured, “he was the only person who treated me like a normal person instead of someone who could just shatter at any moment, and I love him for that. If Sandman’s doing the same for you… It’s something incredible. Finding someone like that is a gift. Hold on to him, he needs you just as much as you need him.” She stood and laid a hand on his shoulder, a soft expression on her face. “You two are going to be great.” 

###  Ghoul

Ghoul couldn't believe he'd let Poison have so much coffee. He sat in their lap, one of their hands draped over his shoulder, the other drumming on his thigh. He was sure that if he wasn't on top of them, they'd be pacing. Not out of anxiety, just restlessness. He couldn't let them though, they were still weak and could hurt themself more. The hand on his shoulder brushed along his jawline, like it had been all day. Ever since Poison was able to touch him again they had barely let go, always sitting as close to Ghoul as they could, clinging to him like their life depended on it. He never complained, no even in jest. He needed this just as much as they did, the constant reminder that someone was there, that that someone  _ cared _ . He shifted more to the side so he could better see their face. 

"Why are you always doing that?" Poison's eyebrow quirked up. "Running your fingers on my skin? It feels good, but why do you do it?" They smiled and pulled him into a kiss, resting their head on his shoulder when it was broken. 

"I don't really know," they mused, "I think you did it once, and it felt wonderful so I just kind of picked it up. Or maybe I'm trying to memorize every facet of you, so I know what you feel like when you're gone." They paused and kissed him again, this time keeping their faces close and lowering their voice. "Or maybe, even after all this time, I'm still reminding myself that you're real." They pulled away suddenly, leaning back in the chair as if nothing had happened, and traced the tattoos on his neck with a smile. 

"I love you so much." He leaned back so their faces were even and pressed his nose into their cheek. "I can't wait to get married. It's going to be so great!" 

Poison grinned softly, leaning in to kiss Ghoul’s lips softly as he took their hands to get them standing up. “It’s gonna be beautiful.”

Pressing his forehead to Poison’s, Ghoul walked Poison to a wall they could lean against. “So… we’ll be going to your transfusion later, Gorgeous. And I know you’re scared, but Benze told me to try and keep you calm so it’s easier. Let’s just plan our wedding, My Love, it’ll keep you calm.”

Poison nodded shakily and wrapped their arms around his waist. "So everything I know about the old weddings comes from those movies they sometimes show out in Zone Four, you know? Granted, I don’t think we’ll be able to have something even close to that given we live in a literal wasteland, but I think as long as we’re together and the people we love are there it’ll be good.” They leaned heavily on Ghoul as he walked them to the infirmary, his arm around their waist practically holding them up. 

“We should have it right before the sun sets, it makes you look like you’re glowing. You’re gonna look so pretty, I can’t wait to see you like that,” Ghoul murmured into their ear. “It’s gonna be the best day of our lives.”

Poison smiled into Ghoul’s neck, giggling quietly. “Fuck, I love you so much. You gonna wear something pretty for me?”

Chuckling softly, Ghoul squeezed their wrist. “Everything you own is pretty, beautiful.”

“You dork!!” Poison pressed their face back into Ghoul’s neck. “You’re gonna stay with me during the transfusion, right? You’re gonna sit next to me and hold my hand the whole time?”

Ghoul pressed a kiss to their temples, stopping momentarily. “I’d never let you go through that alone. They won’t even be able to force me out of the room, I’m gonna stay with you no matter what.” Poison smiled, stumbling slightly as they walked and Ghoul caught them, an alarmed look on his face. 

“Woah there, Bombshell,” he said, going to pick them up. Enough had happened to them, Ghoul was going to carry them the rest of the way. They had lost quite a bit of weight in the time they’d been in the Underground, making them easier to carry, as much as the weightloss worried Ghoul. The Witch only knew how much food he was going to shove down their throat once they got easy access again.

“Hey, hey, you can put me down, Darling!” said Poison, their voice understandably surprised as Ghoul had picked them up. Their fingers dug into his shoulders, and he squeezed them closer to assure them he wouldn’t drop them.

“No, I’ll put you down when we get there,” he insisted. “I don’t want anything else happening to you before your transfusion.”

“You damn sweetheart,” Poison murmured as Ghoul carried them. Once they had gotten to the infirmary, he set them down outside where they could sit and they took out their radio. “I’m gonna check if Kobra wants to come…” They fiddled with the dials, trying to find the frequency. “Hey, Kobes, we’re in the infirmary and Benze is going to do the transfusion soon, and I know you’re probably busy right now, but umm… you’re welcome to be here, of course. If you want.” 

“Fuck, Poison, I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it,” Kobra’s voice responded, and Poison’s shoulders dropped. “We’re with Psycho’s family, I don’t think I’ll be able to get away for another half hour at least, but I’ll be there as soon as I can, alright?” They forced their face into something pleasant, even though Kobra couldn’t see them. 

“Yeah, of course. Take your time.” Their hands began to shake as they set the radio down, and laid their head in Ghoul’s lap. “It’s okay,” they assured him, their voice small, “I’ll be okay.” Ghoul’s heart seized, and he took one of their hands and brushed his other hand through their hair, desperately trying to keep them calm.

“You’ll be okay, My Love, I’ll be here the whole time. I’ll keep you safe. You’ll be okay.” Their grip on his hand was vice-like, and when Benze told them it was time they simply curled further into him, now clinging to his whole arm. “Hey, you’ll be okay,” he said as he picked them up again, “just focus on me, alright? Focus on my voice, and your hand in mine.” He laid them down in the chair, then cupped their cheek and forced their eyes away from the needle Benze had just taken out. “Just focus on me, okay? I’m right here.”

“Ghoul?” Their voice was frantic, panicked. “Ghoul, Ghoul, Ghoul, you can’t leave, please don’t leave me, not ever.” Ghoul’s heart broke, watching them writhe in the chair. Benze took their other arm gently, and they ripped it away from him and pulled it into their chest. “Ghoul, Ghoul, you can’t let them hurt me.” 

“Poison, it’s Benze. He’s not here to hurt you. It’s going to hurt for a second, but he’s trying to help, remember? He’s trying to make you feel better. Just focus on me, okay? I’m not leaving you, I’ll be here the whole time, but you have to give him your arm.” He took their other hand and gently pulled it from their chest. They watched him fearfully, their fingers curled tightly into their palm. “You’re going to be okay.” He kissed their knuckles, unfolding their fingers as they relaxed. “Just focus on me.”

Poison let Benze take their arm, keeping their eyes glued to Ghoul’s. He cupped their face gently, making sure they didn’t look at what Benze was doing. They flinched away when the needle touched their skin, screwing their eyes shut. He didn’t know how long they were there, but at some point he started singing to them, anything to keep them calm. 

“You’re okay, My Love. You’re okay. It’s almost over.” Ghoul’s fingers were starting to go numb, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull his hand away. They needed him there. “He’s almost done. After this we can do whatever you want.” Benze taped gauze over where the needle went in, and Poison pulled away from him as soon as he finished, wrapping their arms around Ghoul’s waist. 

“So Ghoul,” Benze pulled off his gloves as he spoke, “they should rest for a few more days, but after that they’ll be good.” Ghoul nodded, climbing into the chair with his fiance and pulling them closer to his chest. “Take all the time you need, I recommend getting them something to eat. It’ll speed up their recovery.” 

"Hear that, Beautiful, you've got to actually eat something," Ghoul teased, kissing the top of their head. "We'll stay here until you're feeling a little better, then we’ll get you some food and we can do whatever you want.”

“Okay.” Poison curled into Ghoul’s side, pressing their face into the crook of his neck. “That was one of the things,” they whispered, “someone with like… a doctor fetish or something, but… needles was one of the things.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, Love.” He felt hot tears soak the collar of his shirt as they began to shake again. “No one’s going to hurt you anymore. I’ll protect you.” He pressed another kiss to their hair. 

“Promise?” They sat up, studying his face. 

“Of course.” He cupped their cheeks, kissing the tip of their nose. “You’re my whole world. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you.” 

“Alright Gorgeous.” Ghoul sat down across from Poison, pushing a tray of food over to them. “I swear to the Witch if you don’t eat at least half of this I’m moving to Jet’s room.” Poison’s eyes widened, and Ghoul opened his mouth to say it was a joke but closed it when they grinned and stuck out their tongue.

“You wouldn’t be able to do that if you tried, Darling, you need me too much. Plus I’d miss you.” They tapped the end of his nose and picked up the sandwich on their tray.

“Oh, fuck off,” he laughed, “I- I totally could. I’d just get… umm… cold.” They raised an eyebrow.

“Right. And Bat City’s gonna name me Citizen of the Month. You’ve flat out told me you can’t sleep when I go on runs.” They put their chin on their hand and smiled smugly at him, their gold eyes flashing. “You couldn’t leave me alone of your own choice for longer than half an hour and you know it.” He could feel his face heating up and they stuck their tongue out at him again. 

“Is that a challenge?” He mimicked their stance, pushing his now-forgotten food to the side to lean closer to them, until their noses were practically touching. 

“Nah,” Poison crooned, “I’d miss you too much.” They kissed him softly then sat back and continued eating their lunch. 

“You bitch.” They grinned at him around their sandwich, their whole face lighting up. 

“At least I admit it, Darling.” The look on their face was some combination of snide and playful, Ghoul felt his heart melt as they looked at him. They were just so damn  _ cute _ , how'd he get so lucky with this one?

As they ate, Ghoul watched them brush hair from their face as they stole little glances towards him, blowing a small kiss and chuckling to themself. They thought they were so clever, didn't they? It was beyond precious, he wanted to spend forever with this little tease. Ghoul was so glad they were, for the most part, doing better. He'd watched them suffer for far too long now and if he was being honest, seeing them in pain so long took a real toll on him as well. But they were better now, and he saw the little smile that spread across their mouth whenever he looked at them, the ever-shining light, so adamant in their golden eyes that seemed to have all the love and happiness in the world in it, the way their nose scrunched when they laughed, so adorably. Ghoul felt his features relax into a lazy smile as he leaned back and admired his partner. They were just so fucking gorgeous in every way he could think of. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Poison finished their food and pushed his toward him. “You haven’t eaten anything, Darling.”

“How did I find the most perfect partner in the world?” They blushed and took his hands, holding them close to their face.

“I don’t know, how did I?” A brilliant smile formed on their lips and they kissed his knuckles softly. Butterflies formed in his stomach as he watched them, their fingers brushing over his skin. “Seriously though, thank you. For the last few days, you’ve done nothing but be here for me and make me feel safe and comfortable and I just… I love you so fucking much, and-” Ghoul cut them off, pressing his lips to theirs from across the table.

“I love you too,” he whispered into their mouth. 

“Okay listen, I know you’re really affectionate and completely head over heels and all that shit, but people are trying to  _ eat _ ,” Kobra groaned, sitting down next to Poison. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it, Sandman took me to see Psycho’s family and I got wrapped up in a conversation with his girlfriend, who is amazing, you’d love her, and I’m really fucking sorry.”

Poison smiled, taking Ghoul’s hand from across the table and looked at Kobra. “You’re fine, Kobes. You should introduce me to her.”

Kobra grinned, leaning back. “Definitely, I think you two’ll end up being like best friends.” 

“Shiny, take us with you next time you go.” They squeezed Ghoul’s hand. “I’m finally starting to feel like myself again.”

Ghoul sat in Poison’s lap, their fingers twirling in his hair. Benze had invited everyone, along with multiple people Ghoul had never met, to his apartment for a sort of tribute to Psycho. Aside from the Youngbloods they didn’t know anyone outside their crew, so they sat on the couch and watched the others. Sandman and Kobra sat next to a woman with dark brown hair and a little girl who looked to be about seven. Benze and Beauty had been talking to her earlier so Ghoul assumed she must be Sil. Kobra caught his eye and motioned for them to come over. 

"Hey, I think Kobra wants to introduce us to someone," he muttered to his partner, who kissed his cheek as he stood up. 

"Wonderful." He held his hands out for Poison to take, and they accepted, pulling themself up with a grunt. They held onto his hand as they made their way across the room, almost tripping several times. Each time he caught them they'd pause just long enough to kiss his cheek and whisper a "Thank you, Darling" before continuing. They sat down on the arm of the couch next to Kobra, their legs hanging off the end, and Ghoul stood behind them with his chin on their head and his arms over their shoulders. 

"Ghoul, Poison," Kobra began, "This is Silver Bullet and her daughter Evie. Psycho was her boyfriend." The woman—Sil—nodded at them, and the little girl glared in Kobra’s direction.

“I’ve heard a lot about you two,” she said, standing and shaking their hands, “Though I think Sandman was exaggerating when he said Ghoul was an asshole.” Ghoul could feel his face heating up and Poison snorted.

“Oh he definitely was,” they grinned, reaching a hand up to brush his cheek, “My Darling’s wonderful.” 

“I’ve got nothing on you, Love.” Kobra and Sandman groaned simultaneously, and Ghoul lifted his hand to flip them off, but Poison slapped his hand down.

“Not in front of the kid,” they hissed.

“As long as it’s not directed at her…” Sil shot a look to Sandman, who let out an indignant “Hey!” Sil held up her hands. “Don’t look at me, you’re the one who flipped off my child.” 

“She’s fantastic,” Poison whispered to Ghoul, their fingers lingering on his jaw. “Sil, I’m so sorry about Psycho. If there’s ever anything you need please don’t hesitate to ask.” She smiled, her eyes beginning to tear up. 

“Thank you.” They nodded, the beginnings of a smile forming on their face. They reached back and tugged on Ghoul’s shirt, pulling him around so he sat on the couch with his head in their lap. 

*Can you tell us more about him? We didn’t really get to know him but he seemed great.” They brushed their fingers through his hair, their fingers gently massaging his scalp.

“Oh fuck, yeah, sure. It’ll probably help actually.” She sat down across from Poison, drumming her fingers on her knees. “He was one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. When I got pregnant, I got super fucking nervous that he’d leave ‘cause it’s just so dangerous, you know?” She ran her fingers through her hair, and Ghoul gave her a thumbs up. “Right, of course you’d know. You guys live in the desert. I can’t even  _ imagine _ trying to raise a kid there, you guys are either really brave or really dumb. But yeah, I was so nervous he was going to leave, but he stayed, and helped me through even the grossest parts. When Evie was born he sat next to me the whole time and just cried.” She grabbed her daughter and pulled her onto her lap as the girl squirmed. 

Sil started to talk again, but as much as Ghoul tried to pay attention he couldn’t. Poison’s fingers were soothing on his scalp, their other hand held tightly to his as they listened to the woman talk. Next thing he knew, Poison’s comforting touch had put him to sleep in their lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it's highly likely there will be one last chapter and an epilogue, but we have an idea for a sequel already in the works, so that shouldn't be too far behind!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ack this has been a long time I'm really sorry about that, but this is a long chapter so I hope that makes up for it!  
> This will be the last official chapter of the story, followed by an Epilogue at some point, and we have the basic plot of a sequel ready to go!  
> Huge thanks to Ash for being fucking amazing once more and inspiring me to stay with this fic and get updates out at a reasonable time!  
> I hope you enjoy, please leave a comment!

Poison 

Sil had invited Poison and Ghoul over to her apartment the next day, so there they stood, their palms sweating as they watched her door. They couldn’t tell why they were so nervous, Sil was really nice and they had sort of “clicked,” nearly right away, plus Ghoul was right by their side, holding their hand like always. They still hadn’t knocked, unable to pull their hands out of Ghoul’s. After they had calmed down from the transfusion and eaten some food, the last of the dizziness had been cleared, and they no longer hd to rely on him to walk them everywhere, but after the incident with him, they couldn’t bring themself to go anywhere without him, though out of fear for themself or him, they couldn’t tell. Poison squeezed Ghoul’s hand and took a deep breath as they knocked on the door.

But it wasn’t Sil who opened the door, it was little Evie, standing in front of them. 

“Evie? Where’s your mom?” As they stepped over the threshold, they glanced around for Sil, tightening their grip on Ghoul almost without thinking about it. The girl shrugged.

“She’s sleeping, she said she didn’t feel good.” Ghoul shot them a worried look.

“Can you take us to her?” he asked gently, squatting down so his face was level with hers. “We just want to make sure she’s alright.” Evie nodded and grabbed his hand as she started to pull him toward a door.

Sil was curled up in her bed, staring blankly at the wall across her, the remnant of tears still clinging to her cheeks. Poison’s eyes widened and they looked back at their fiancé. 

“Can you watch Evie?” they murmured, glancing from Ghoul to Sil. “I don't want her to be in here while I talk to her…” 

Ghoul shrugged. “Pois, she's like seven.”

“Please, Darling. I wanna try to help Sil but she's not gonna open up if her kid's listening.”

Ghoul sighed. “You're right, fuck.” They smiled and gave him a quick kiss as he got up and went to the little girl. “Hey Evie,” he started, “C’mon, let's go get you a snack, Poison wants to talk to your mom.”

She nodded and followed Ghoul out of the room. Poison walked over to where Sil was laying. “Hey Sil. How're you feeling?” She made a non-commital noise in the back of her throat, her eyes still staring blankly ahead. “Okay, come on. We’re getting you up, and you’re going to eat something.” They took her by the shoulders and helped her sit up, then gently pulled the hair out of her face and tied it up. Sil shook her head and leaned onto Poison’s shoulder.

“I don’t want Evie to see me like this,” she choked. “She’s having a hard enough time without seeing how fucking broken up I am over everything.”

Poison rubbed her back softly. “I know how you feel, hun. I have a bad habit of hiding it when I feel like shit from Ghoul, ‘cause he’s one of the biggest worriers I know. And I just do it ‘cause I love him. I know you don’t wanna show this around Evie because you love her, but please don’t do what I do. Her seeing you show weakness will show her that it’s okay too. That she’s not crazy for outwardly missing her dad. It’ll help, trust me." The gravity of what they had said hit them, that they did hide things from Ghoul. Not so much anymore, as they got more comfortable in their own skin, but they still did. They couldn't do that anymore. "Obviously you're going to want to be gentle about it, she's so young, but you shouldn't pretend everything's alright if it's not."

"I just miss him so much," she whispered, and Poison pulled her into their chest. "I'm worried about her. They were so close. She's been so quiet since… Since it happened." 

"I know, Sugar, but she needs you. You’re her mom and she needs your support now more than ever.” They pulled her to her feet. "So we're going to get you out of last night's clothes, we're going to brush out your hair, we're going to put some makeup on you so you feel more yourself, and we're going to let those fuckers in BLI they can't break you that easily. Yeah?" They smiled hopefully, and the corners of her mouth twitched up, causing them to beam at her.

"Yeah." 

"Wonderful." They pushed her into the bathroom. "Take a shower, I'll find you some clothes." 

Ghoul

Ghoul didn't know how to deal with adults, much less a seven year old, but Poison had asked him to keep her out of Sil's room, so he tried. 

He got Evie an apple and sat across from her at the table in their living room, tapping his fingers on the surface and glancing back and forth between the girl and the door to Sil's room. When he got tired of the sound of his fingers on the wood he started to twist the beads on his wrist, slipping them on and off over his hand. 

"Those are pretty," she said after a minute, "can I have them?" Ghoul froze, then pulled his hands to his chest. 

"I- uh… no, you can't," he said, his tongue tripping over itself, "Poison gave them to me." 

"He can just get you new ones." Ghoul hesitated for a moment before telling her that 1. Poison was non-binary; and 2. The beads were more important than he could probably explain, and he sat with his mouth open for a good minute trying to figure out how to explain it to a seven-year-old. 

"Well, um… first, Poison's non-binary, so what that means is instead of he or him or her or she or any of that you use they and them, alright?" She nodded, and he gave her a small smile. "Second, these beads are very important to me, and to Poison. When they gave them to me they promised we'd be together forever, and they've got one that matches, so I can't give them to you." Evie's face fell a little, so he dug around in his pockets, pulling out a giant wad of multicolored strings. "But," he added, pulling out a half-finished bracelet that he'd run out of string for, too short for any of the Four, but just long enough for her wrist. "I can give you this. I made it a few weeks ago, and it's just long enough to fit you."

"Ooooh it's pretty!" She stuck her hand out eagerly, and he tied a quick finishing knot before tying it around her wrist. She smiled happily at it and studied the colors. "What does non-binary mean?" 

Ghoul bit his lip, unsure of how exactly he'd explain this for a moment. “It-It means Poison’s not a boy or a girl. You see, wh-when they were a kid people thought tha-that they were a boy but it made them really sad. And they knew they weren't a boy or a girl, so when they left they changed their name, and they're a lot happier now. But you really should ask them, they can explain it better than I can”

Evie smiled. “That’s good. I'm glad they're helping my mom.” 

Ghoul patted her shoulder and grinned in response. “So am I.”

Poison

Once Sil had cleaned herself up a little bit, Poison sat her down and started doing her makeup. She had insisted on wearing another one of Psycho’s shirts, as she hadn't changed from the one since she found out about him. Poison wasn't about to argue with a girl whose boyfriend was just killed. So they had gotten her looking as neat as they could and were now applying an excessive amount of sparkly blue eyeshadow to her eyelids.

"Are you sure that's not too much?" She asked when they stepped back and handed her a mirror.

"There's no such thing as too much," they whispered conspiratorially, "Glitter makes everything better." She nodded knowingly and they grinned, stepping behind her to twist her hair into something other than a hasty ponytail or a sopping wet mess. 

"I told you about Psycho last night," she began when they finished drying her hair, "Tell me about Ghoul. You two look so happy." Poison sighed happily, their fingers pausing as they tried to figure out what to say. 

"He's the love of my life," they said after a moment, "We're engaged, you should come to the wedding, we'll have Kobra radio Sandman when we figure out when it's going to be."

"Sounds wonderful, I think I need an excuse to get out of here anyway, too much of him." They hummed softly, then tied off a braid before starting another one. 

"It’s funny, when we met I nearly killed him. He was getting attacked right outside where we live and I was fucking horrified… But I didn't and that’s the best decision of my life, because that boy’s got the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen and takes care of me like no one has before. I owe him my whole life.”

“That's sweet,” she murmured as Poison tied off the second braid. “I miss having that.”

“I bet,” Poison said, just for a second trying to imagine their life if Ghoul died. “I would too. But I’m here for you, Sugar. And I’m gonna help make all this a little bit easier for you in any way I can.” They turned her back around and pulled out a strand of hair on either side of her, her fringe framing her face perfectly. They went through the vanity for another second before pulling out a vibrant red lip gloss and spreading it across her lips.

“That’s a little bold, don't you think?’ She sounded unsure of herself as she looked in the mirror, hugging her small figure against Psycho’s black graphic tee. But Poison merely smiled, she looked incredible. This girl was beautiful and if she wasn’t gonna do herself up, Poison was gonna make sure it happened.

“So are you, hun,” they said, looking at her with a big smile. “You feeling any better now?”

“More like myself,” she murmured, smiling at Poison. They rubbed her shoulders and chuckled to themself. 

“Wonderful!!” they said cheerfully, taking her hand. “Now let's go show your kid.”

Ghoul and Evie were chatting animatedly in the living room, the little girl pointing to each of his tattoos as he explained them. Poison stood against the wall and sighed lovingly at their fiancé.

“Poison wrote this on my arm one morning and I just had to get it done,” he said, holding out his left arm, “it’s one of my favorite ones, aside from this one.” He pulled the collar of his shirt aside. “This is what they said when they proposed, ‘Always and Forever.’” They pushed off the wall and wrapped their arms around his waist from behind, pressing a kiss to his neck.

“Always and Forever, Darling. Love you.” He took their hands and turned around to kiss them. 

“Mom, why is everyone so gross all the time?” Evie whined, then looked over to her. “Oooh, you look really pretty!”

“Thanks Cupcake, and you know your dad and I kissed all the time,” Sil chided her. The girl huffed and crossed her arms. 

“You're all gross. When are we getting breakfast?" Sil chuckled softly and went to kneel down next to her daughter.

“We were gonna leave right now,” she said. “Poison just has to finish doing my makeup and now we’re ready.”

“Poison’s very good at makeup,” Evie said with a big smile on her face. She looked back at them and said cheerfully, “Can you do my makeup too?”

“I’ll definitely have to sometime,” they chuckled, squeezing Ghoul’s hand. They glanced at their fiancé briefly as Sil said something to Evie. “That kid is so fucking cute, I'm in love.”

“She’s super sweet,” said Ghoul, a small smile on his face. “While you were in there with Sil, she asked if she could have this--” He swung up his hand, still with Poison’s, that had the loose beads hanging around his wrist. “I explained what they meant. And I gave her that one.” He pointed to the colorful strings around her wrist and Poison kissed the top of his head.

“I can’t decide who’s cuter, you or her,” Poison said softly, before turning his attention back to Sil who looked as if she was tearing up again. She was talking to her daughter about what she and Poison had talked about before. 

“It’s perfectly normal to be sad, Cupcake,” she said, rubbing Evie’s arms and blinking away tears. “I’m sad too, I’m really sad. But…” she looked up at Poison and back at Evie. “I can’t keep pretending everything’s okay when it isn’t. I know both of us are having a really hard time without your dad, I loved him like crazy… But I want you to make sure to talk to me when you’re really sad. I don’t want anything to happen to you because of how sad you are.”

Evie nodded and hugged her mom. “You have to talk to me when you’re sad too,” the kid insisted. “Because I don’t want anything to happen to you either.”

Sil smiled softly and pushed dark curls behind her daughter’s ears. “Of course, Cupcake. And if you ever just want to talk about him, we can do that too. But we’ll both be okay in the end. I love you, babygirl.”

“Love you Mom,” she said as Sil pressed a kiss to her forehead. She hugged her tightly, taking in a shaky breath. “I’m gonna be brave and strong, just like Dad was.”

Sil gave what sounded like a mix of a laugh and a sob. “Yes, yes you are, Evie.” She blinked rapidly in an attempt not to mess up her makeup by wiping her eyes and picking up her little girl. “Now do you want breakfast or what?”

Poison and Ghoul stayed with the girls for a while, letting them show them around since it was the first time Poison could walk for longer than five minutes without passing out. They still leaned on Ghoul, but more because they wanted to rather than needing to. As they walked, Evie pointed out different shops or specific corners where she and Psycho spent time together, each time drawing a soft chuckle from Sil. The little girl always tried to drag Sil ahead of the others, but the woman held tightly to her hand and kept pulling her back so she could talk to Poison.

“So what’s the Desert like?” They paused, trying to figure out exactly how to articulate what it was like to live there.

“It’s Hell on Earth. You’re constantly fearing for your life and the lives of your friends. There can be whole weeks where you don’t get any food to eat or barely sleep more than a few hours. Sand is always in everything, your skin constantly feels sticky with sweat and dirt and blood. But at the same time it’s the best place I’ve ever been. You can do anything you want, be anyone you want. It brought me to him,” they sighed, pulling Ghoul closer and kissing his cheek, “It brings you to the people you’ll be able to trust with your life, with more than that. It’s complete and absolute freedom, like driving your car down an empty highway with your favorite song at top volume, your favorite person in the other seat. So as terrifying and dangerous as it is, it’s just so exhilarating, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” They pressed themself against Ghoul’s back, breathing in the scent of his hair. They kissed his neck softly and whispered so only he could hear, “You’re the best thing to ever come out of that cesspit.” He squeezed their hands, then shifted in their grip and kissed them back, sliding his fingers into their hair. They hooked their thumbs into his belt loops, pulling his hips closer, and he made a happy noise into their mouth. 

“Keep it PG, boys. We’ve got a kid here, remember?” Poison opened their eyes a fraction to get a glance at Sil, who had her hands over Evie’s eyes but smiled at them. Satisfied the little girl couldn’t see them, they lifted a hand, sticking up their middle finger before letting themself slip back into the kiss.

“Hey!” Evie’s voice rang out, and Ghoul pulled away to glance back at her. “We’ve got more stuff to show you, stop being gross!” He chuckled and pulled Poison back in for a moment, then pulled away for good, still keeping as close to them as he could.

“I love you,” he whispered, pressing one last kiss to their temple. They glanced at Sil, who watched them with a sad smile.

“You okay, hon?” She blinked and shook her head, forcing a smile onto her face.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, I just miss him.” Poison raised an eyebrow and crossed their arms.

“Look Babe, I know when someone’s lying about being fine. Go ask Ghoulie over there, I’m the queen of lying about my feelings.” They went up behind her and wrapped their arms around her shoulders, resting their chin onto the top of her head. “So now tell me honestly, are you okay?” 

“No,” she sobbed, wrapping her arms around them. They pulled her into an alley and helped her sit down. They shot a glance at Ghoul, motioning for him to call Kobra. He’d probably be with Sandman, he could get the Youngbloods here. They could do more than Poison could. “My life is fucking falling apart… I miss him so much, He held me together for years after getting me out of BLI, he was the reason I’m still sane.” She tried her hardest to keep tears from flowing down her face, gasping loudly. “Even when he was on runs, he’d radio me every morning and every night and I still had him with me and now I have no one there to hold me and tell me he loves me and that I’m beautiful… He was just so fucking important to me. And—And I don’t want yo-you to feel bad but seeing how much you and Ghoul lo-love each other and how affe-affectionate you are… It reminds me of him. He was so affectionate and lov-loving. And I’ll see you two and it’s… it’s cute at first but then I remember that I don’t get to go home to a—to a kiss everyday.” She stopped for a moment, breathing in deeply. Poison bit their lip and leaned back, suddenly feeling so bad. They were definitely being insensitive, making this all that much harder for the poor girl. She closed her eyes for a second before continuing.

“And then there’s my babygirl, Evie… She’s so fu-fucking sad, it’s killing me. It’s fucking killing me, Po-Poison. I love that little girl with everything I’ve got left and she’s losing her mind. I just—She was so close with him, she’s always been practically attached to him. He was so good with her. Her fucking luck, she got stuck with me out of both her parents. I can’t help but feel bad for her, being stuck with me. She needs him, I know she does.”

“No, Sil, please don’t feel that way,” they said, kneeling down to reach her eye level. “Sugar, I can tell how important you are to that kid, she needs you right now. I know how you feel, I constantly tell myself I’m not worth Ghoul, but we love each other regardless. And I know how much you love her, so please don’t tell yourself that.”

Sil nodded excessively, hugging herself around Psycho’s shirt. “I just want him back. I miss his little smile when he saw me or her. I miss his stupid dad jokes and how fucking stubborn he always was. And his adorable laugh when he found something he said just that funny. I miss how loving he was with me and Evie. what a good dad he was. What a good boyfriend he was. He was always there for me, he would always sneak me little kisses whenever he could and would just do anything he could to make me smile. Even on my worst days. I miss having that.” The tears stopped flowing, and she wiped her eyes with the hem of her shirt. 

“I know it’s hard, hon,” Poison said softly, stroking her hair. “But you'll be okay, trust me. You’re strong as shit, if BLI didn’t break you with what they did to you while you were with them, don’t let this break you. Psycho wouldn’t want you to.”

She nodded and gasped again as Poison rubbed her shoulders. They looked over to see Ghoul talking to Evie, probably trying to keep the kid from coming over and seeing her mom crying. They kept glancing back and Ghoul looked over at them helplessly as he tried to keep the kid looking the other way. Before long, Kobra had come over with the rest of the Juvies and they saw Ghoul point in the direction of them, and Sil looked as if she was trying hard to hold in tears again. Sandman rushed over and pushed Poison away immediately, seeming worried about the girl.

“Don’t touch her,” he practically growled at them. “Hey, Silvie… hey, you’ll be okay.” He took her into a hug and she sighed heavily before saying,

“No, don’t worry about it. They were trying to help, they’re wonderful.” She glanced up at Poison and offered a smile. “I just have… I have a hard time seeing people be affectionate, I guess. Makes me think of what I used to have.” Sandman nodded and rubbed his hands up and down her arms, practically holding her up at this point.

“What do you need, do you want to go back home?” She nodded slowly, letting Sandman pull her to her feet. "Sorry," he added to Poison, "my brain just kind of shut off for a second." 

“It’s fine,” they assured him, “you’re stressed, it’s fine.” They laid a hand on Sil’s shoulder and offered her a small smile. “Feel free to call me if you need anything at all.” Sandman got her up and she hugged him again, leaning heavily against his side.

“Can you and Ghoul please keep my daughter away for a bit?” Sil asked softly. “I don't wanna upset her anymore…”

Poison nodded, straightening up. “Yeah, of course,” they said, going over to their fiancé and Evie, where the girl was tugging on his hand. 

“C’mon!!” she squealed, trying to get Ghoul in the direction Sandman was leading Sil. “Let’s follow Uncle Sandman and my mom!!”

Ghoul shook his head, standing his ground and keeping her with him. “No, we can't right now, Evie.”

“But why?” she exclaimed, taking her arm away from Ghoul and crossing her arms. “I wanna be with my mom!!”

She seemed like she was starting to get pretty upset so Poison just bit their lip and went over to help. “You remember how you said she didn't feel good this morning? Well, she wasn't feeling good so I had Ghoul call Sandman and he’s gonna take her home to rest, she’s feeling a little sick.” Evie huffed and sat down with her back to one of the buildings. Ghoul sat down next to her, and Poison sat on his other side, taking hold of this hand. 

“Is my mom gonna be okay?” Ghoul shot a glance to Poison, who opened their mouth to offer a suggestion but suddenly found they didn’t know what to say. “Guys?” 

“She’ll be okay,” he offered, “She’s just sad. Just give her a little bit and she’ll be alright.” Evie nodded and leaned into his side, curling into herself. 

“Okay.” Ghoul looked down at the girl and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her small frame onto his lap. “I don’t want to lose her too.”

“You won’t,” he whispered, “her friends will take care of her. We’ll help for as long as we’re here.”

Kobra

Kobra paced anxiously outside Sil’s apartment, playing with a necklace Sandman had gotten him before Ghoul had called. It was a black ring with a silver band on a soft piece of leather he’d found and immediately taken a liking to. He’d initially put it back, but somehow Sandman had managed to sneak off and get it for him. 

The door opened to an exhausted-looking Sandman, who took one look at Kobra and practically fell into him, wrapping his arms around the blonde’s waist with a groan.

“You alright, Sunshine?” He hugged the shorter boy back, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“‘M fine,” he murmured, burying his face in Kobra’s neck, “She’s really broken up, and I just don’t know what to do, and it’s exhausting trying to cope with my own feelings with hers, but I can’t just let her go through this alone.” 

“You’re so fucking sweet, holy shit. I don’t know what I can do to help, but I’m here for you, whatever you need.” Sandman smiled and pressed a kiss to Kobra’s lips. 

“I love you,” he said quietly, pressing their foreheads together. “And you’re doing plenty just by sitting with me. She just… she doesn’t deserve this. I hate seeing how miserable she is. She wanted to be alone but I made her swear to call me the second there were any thoughts of hurting herself at all, or even if she just needs a hug. She’s just so sweet, I don’t want her to hurt anymore.”

Kobra nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I get it,” he murmured in response. “You two are so close, of course it sucks to see her hurt.”

“I just really hope her and Evie are okay in the long run,” he said, Kobra pressing another kiss to his cheek. “I’m just worried.” He bit his lip and leaned into Kobra again. “Can you stay with me, Dear? I know you’re leaving today but please... stay with me.”

“I don’t know…”

“Please. I can’t- I need you to stay. Even if it’s just a few days.” He sounded almost desperate, his fingers curling into Kobra’s shirt. “I’m gonna miss you so much, Kobes." 

"I'll talk to Poison," he offered, "I wish you could come with us. I'd love to show you the Desert, properly, when you're not bleeding to death." The pink-haired boy grinned and pulled him into a kiss. 

"Thank you, my Dear," he breathed into his mouth, "I love you."

Kobra sat with Poison and Ghoul as they played with the infant, who's name they'd found out was Grace. The couple sat on the bed, playing with the child as she babbled incoherently. Jet was taking advantage of the showers, trying to get as clean as he could before they left. Kobra fiddled with his necklace, wondering if it was worth asking to stay. 

"Poison?" The red-head tore their gaze away from Grace, studying his face. "I know we're leaving today, but Sandman's not doing too well and he asked me to stay for a few days, and I'd really like to, just to make sure he's okay." Poison didn't say anything for a second and his stomach twisted, but they slid off the bed and pulled him into a hug before he could say something else. 

"Just a few days?"

"Just a few days," he said, "he'll drive me back and everything." They pulled back, their hands lingering on his elbows. 

"You're still coming to the wedding, right?" Their voice wavered, and they glanced back to Ghoul, who had pulled Grace onto his lap and was watching them nervously. 

"Of course! I just have to help Sandman, you know?" His hands flew to his necklace again, and Poison grinned. 

"Did he give that to you?" Kobra nodded, and their grin widened. "Awwwwww, you guys are so cute." They sat down next to Ghoul again, laying their head on his shoulder. "I say go ahead. You two need some time to relax anyway, without some deadline hanging over you." Something uncoiled on Kobra’s chest.

“Thank you.” He sat down at the foot of the bed, and Grace crawled out of Ghoul’s arms to grasp at Kobra’s necklace. “How was Sil when you dropped Evie off? She was still pretty broken up when we left.”

“She was up,” Kobra said, “made tea and stuff, but it did look like she had just stopped crying.” 

“It’s good she’s feeling better.” Grace wrapped her little fingers around Kobra’s thumb and he smiled down at her. “Hey, Grace.” He pulled her onto his lap and she let go of his necklace, instead reaching for strands of blonde hair that had escaped from behind his ear.

“So we’re dads now…” Ghoul said after a moment, then turned to Poison. “‘Cept you, Love. You’re definitely a mom.” 

“Why, thank you Darling,” they crooned, pressing a kiss to his temple, “Once we’re married she’ll complete the family. She’ll be our kid." Ghoul grinned and pulled them into a kiss, and Kobra decided that he should go tell Jet that he'd be staying, and that he should meet Grace. 

Jet sat on the floor, cursing as he tried to pull a brush through his hair. 

"Motherfucker! I have got to do this more often." The brush got stuck and he groaned and let himself collapse on his back. Kobra cleared his throat and the curly haired boy stretched to look at him. "Oh hey Kobes, what's up?" 

"Do you need any help with that? It sounded painful." Jet sat up and nodded gratefully.

"That'd be great actually," he laughed, "I've been meaning to brush it out for weeks and there's this nasty knot right in the back." 

"Alright, here take Grace." He let Jet take the toddler, who was instantly fascinated with his hair, tugging on the few strands that weren’t matted. “Holy shit you weren’t kidding,” Kobra said as he tugged on the brush. He eventually tugged the brush out and began to work on the knots, trying to be as gentle as he could while Jet played with the girl. "I'm going to be staying here for a few more days, just to take care of Sandman."

"How's he doing? Actually, how are you doing?" Jet turned around to face him, wincing as the brush pulled his hair. "Are you feeling better?"

“I don’t really know… Sandman’s not doing too well right now, and that’s really rough, but it feels different now. A little better I guess, not much, but better.” He stepped around to the back of Jet’s head again and resumed brushing. 

“But you’re okay?” Kobra nodded, then realized Jet couldn't see him, and hummed in affirmation. “Good. I don’t want you to push yourself too far just for the sake of someone else, okay? Especially if you’re staying here without us for a few days.”

“I’m going to be fine,” he groaned, “I can take care of myself, and the Youngbloods are going to help me out if I need it. Besides, Sandman wouldn’t let anything happen to me, he’s too sweet.” He tugged the brush through the last of the knot and started on the next one.

“You’re the only one who’s allowed to do this now,” the brunette laughed when Kobra handed him the untangled strands, “I asked Ghoul once and he nearly pulled all my hair out trying to undo one knot.”

“Why would you think that was a good idea in the first place? He makes knots just by touching things!” 

“I don’t know, he was there and it hurt and- fuck!” Grace had taken hold of his hair and was pulling on it excitedly.

“You can’t swear around her,” Kobra warned, “you’re a dad now, Poison’ll kill you.”

“Ghoul’s going to be more of an issue. Ten carbons says she learns it from him and they freak.” The blonde snorted, then gathered Jet’s hair up into a bun on top of his head. 

“I refuse to take that bet. That was a given from the beginning.” Jet chuckled in response and turned his attention back to the girl. Kobra took the brush through his hair again. They were leaving today anyway and he needed to spend as much time with his crew as he could before they left.

Ghoul

“Are you sure you’re okay to be driving?” Ghoul asked as he shoved the last of their bags in the Trans Am, “Your hands are still shaking.” 

“I’m fine, Darling,” Poison sighed, squeezing his hands gently. “And besides, I still wouldn’t let you drive.”

“No, we’ll have Jet drive and you’re sitting in the back with me. Come on.” He pushed them into the backseat. “Jet, you’re driving.” Poison whined in protest but he slid into the seat next to them. “Benze said to take it easy for a few more days, I can’t let you drive.” 

“You’re lucky I love you so much.” They pressed a kiss to his lips and twined their fingers together. “Otherwise I’d fight you.” They smiled sweetly and kissed him again, then laid their head in his lap. They smiled up at him, their golden eyes flashing.

“You’re ridiculous. I love you,” Ghoul said with a big smile, leaning down to press a deep kiss to their lips. Jet smiled at the couple as he climbed into the driver’s seat. 

“Hey, Kobra’s giving Grace to you two in the back so we’ll be having none of that,” he teased as Kobra opened the door, holding Grace in his arms. He smiled at his sibling and Ghoul grinned as he felt Poison’s head angle at their brother.

Ghoul stuck his tongue out at Jet before he turned to Kobra to accept Grace into his arms. Kobra chuckled at the two of them, reaching to take Poison’s hand and squeezing it briefly. “Alright, Sandman’ll drive me home in a couple days. Take care of Grace, Ghoul, you better take care of them.” Ghoul blushed slightly as Poison beamed up at him and Kobra leaned down to reach Poison’s eye level and smiled. “Love ya, Pois,” he said as he waved at the guys a final time. The red-head blew a kiss to their brother, then pulled Grace onto their stomach and snuggled back into Ghoul with a sigh. 

He studied their face as they played with the infant, the soft smile that was almost always present now, the sparkle in their eyes when they glanced up at him, the soft curve of their features highlighted by their pale skin and bright hair. They saw him staring and smiled wider, then hooked an arm around his neck.

“You’re cute when you’re lost in thought,” they said, twirling his hair between their fingers, “You alright?”

“Yeah. just glad to finally be going home.” They nodded, their fingers tracing little circles on his neck. He brushed his fingers through their hair, enjoying the silky feel of the strands before they would be full of sand again. "Your hair's so soft," he whispered, "You're so fucking beautiful."

"I love you." Poison pulled Ghoul into a kiss, their other hand reaching up to cup his cheek. "If you swear in front of the kid I'm going to murder you," they breathed into his mouth. 

"I love it when you talk like that." They grinned and pulled away, then sat up, steadying Grace so she was in the seat next to them. Ghoul leaned toward them and let out a soft whine as their hands slipped off his skin, immediately missing the contact. They smiled, brushing their thumb over his bottom lip. 

"You’re such an idiot,” they laughed, then hooked their legs over his and pulled him back in. Distantly, he heard Jet chuckle and turn on the radio, but Ghoul couldn’t focus on the song, just Poison. Their cool fingers cradled his face and brushed circles on his cheeks. They broke the kiss to breathe, burying their face in his neck and wrapping their arms around his waist. 

"I love you," Ghoul murmured into Poison's hair, his fingers trailing up and down their arm. "So fucking much." They hummed softly and he felt them smile into their neck. Their grip tightened and they pressed soft kisses to his neck, slowly working their way to his jaw. 

"You're my everything," they whispered when they reached his ear, "I love you with everything I am." They rested their head on his shoulder again, and he kissed the top of their head. 

"Hey guys," Jet warned, "The kid." Poison shot up, nearly hitting Ghoul in the face as they lunged for Grace. 

"Whoa, Love. Careful there," the dark haired boy said, taking hold of their shoulders as they swayed. "She's okay. You've got to be gentle with yourself." 

"I'm fine," they huffed, "I got the transfusion, you don't have to carry me everywhere anymore." Ghoul pulled an affronted expression and they sighed, then cupped his cheek and kissed him softly. 

"I just worry about you," he said under his breath. 

"What was that, Darling? I couldn't quite hear you over the engine." They grinned, their tongue sticking out between their teeth. He sighed, twirling their hair around his fingers. 

"You heard me, I'm not saying it again." Their grin widened, and he felt his face heating up. 

"Did the Fun Ghoul just reveal he's a softie? In front of other people?" One of their hands still held onto Grace, but the other caught his chin and they held his gaze, mischief glittering in their eyes.q

"Oh shut up, you've always known I'm soft for you." They raised an eyebrow. "Only for you, my Love." He brought their lips together, bringing his fingers up to trace their jaw. 

"Darling, there's a baby." They pulled away slowly, reluctantly, but kept their hand on his face, wrapping it around his neck instead as they turned their attention to the infant. Grace giggled as they played with her feet, and they glanced at Ghoul again, their face glowing with happiness. He smiled softly and kissed their temple, and they traced their thumb along his jawline. 

"Can you give her to Jet," he nearly whined, "I want to hold you. Wait no, I want you to hold me." Poison sighed, pressing their thumb harder against his cheek as they rubbed it. 

"Darling, he's driving. I can't give her to him, but if you hold her you can sit in my lap." 

"It's fine," he said, but he took the infant and crawled into their arms. They wrapped their arms around his waist and pressed their face into his neck. "Thank you," he whispered, just loud enough for them to hear. 

“You’re so precious, Darling.”

“I’m not precious, I’m not some fuckin’ pansy.” Poison hissed in his ear and tapped his cheek lightly.

“The kid. No swearing.” Ghoul glanced down at Grace, who had fallen asleep in his lap, then back to Poison, who raised their eyebrows at him.

“She’s asleep, my Love.”

“Still. She’s just a kid.”

“If she swears, she swears.” 

“No!” They tapped his cheek again, harder this time, but not hard enough that it stung. “Our job is to protect her—Just try and be a little better around her, okay? For me?” 

“If it means that much to you, of course. Whatever makes you happy, Gorgeous. I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

“You didn’t, it’s okay.” They kissed his cheek, letting their nose linger on his skin. “You’re fine.” They rested their head on his shoulder, and he put his head on top of theirs. “I love you,” they murmured, sounding almost half asleep, “Thank you… for being so… wonderful.” Their arms wrapped a little tighter around him as their breath slowed, and Ghoul glanced down at them to see them sleeping peacefully, their lips curved in a soft smile. 

“Sleep well, my Love.” He pressed a kiss to Poison’s head and snuggled closer into them, resting his head against theirs and letting himself drift off as well. “I love you.”

“Hey, come on guys, we’re home.” Jet Shook Ghoul and Poison awake, Grace held in his other arm. 

“Hmm? We’re home?” Ghoul sat up blearily, blinking his eyes against the setting sun, and Jet grinned.

“You idiots slept through the whole drive.” Ghoul hummed to show he understood and buried his face back in Poison's neck, desperate to get the light out of his face. The red-head shifted underneath him, letting out a low moan and wrapping their arms tighter around Ghoul, their face hidden in his chest. "Come on, it's almost nightfall, and we still have to pull out all our stuff."

"Alright, alright. I'll get them up." The dark haired boy slowly disentangled himself from his fiancé, ignoring their noises of protest, and pulled the two of them out of the car, grabbing his sunglasses to ward off the headache. Poison still clung to him, keeping their face firmly out of the light as he pulled out their bags. "Poison, come on, Love, just let go for a minute so we can get our stuff inside and then you can go back to sleep." They groaned and he pulled free of them with a smile. "This is usually your job, isn't it? Getting me up in the morning?" They smiled lopsidedly and he gave them his sunglasses. "There you go. You go lay down, I'll be in in a minute."

"Thank you, Darling." They pulled him into a quick kiss, then grabbed their bag and headed into the Diner. Ghoul took a moment to breathe in the desert air and watch as the sun began to dip below the horizon, painting the sky a brilliant orange. He almost wished he'd made Poison stay out here, just to see the way their face glowed in the light, but they were exhausted and needed sleep. And so did he. Sleeping in the car had given him a crick in his neck and a killer headache, so he grabbed his bag and entered his home. 

"Hey Ghoul," Jet called from a booth, "I'll take Grace tonight. Get some rest."

"Thanks man." Ghoul gave Jet a smile and made his way to the room he shared with Poison, gently pulling his guitar out from where he'd hidden it after he set his bag down. Poison organized their CD collection as he tuned Pansy and smiled at him when he plucked out the beginnings of a song. "Jet's got Grace." They nodded and sat down on the mattress, letting him play for a minute before they spoke up. 

"Okay that's enough Darling, we should sleep." They took his hands once he set down the guitar, guiding him toward their makeshift bed. "I'm holding you tonight. I miss that."

"Okay," Ghoul laughed, letting them wrap their arms around his middle as they laid down. "I missed this too," he whispered as his eyelids began to get heavy again. "I'm glad we're home."

"Me too," Poison murmured, pressing slow kisses to the back of his neck. "I love you." The feeling of their arms around his waist and the brush of their lips on his skin, combined with the smell of their room and the peaceful quiet of the desert was quickly pulling him back into the realm of sleep, so he pulled one of their hands up to his mouth and kissed it, keeping it pressed to his chest after. 

"I love you too." 


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I'm really sorry for such a long wait, but ending something that's been such a big part of my life for such a long time just deserved a tiny bit more thought than usual, so I think I've got a pass here. For the past, what has it been, four months? for the past four months ive spent practically every night writing with one of my best friends in the world and we are proud to say this is the first thing either of us has ever finished.   
> this is a long note already but I'd just like to thank Ash for being fucking amazing and motivating me to finish this, and for giving me ideas and coming up with practically half of the things here. I'd also like to thank you the reader, personally, for taking the time to read this. I've poured so much of myself into these stories and chatacters and it really means a lot that anyone would read this, much less enjoy it, and I sincerely hope that you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it.   
> So here it is, the epilogue, two weeks late and probably a few pages shorter, but still good.  
> enjoy!!

###  Kobra

"Are you sure you have to go back today, my Dearest?" Sandman asked, wrapping his arms around Kobra's waist and burying his face in his chest, "I don't want you to leaaavveeee." The shorter boy stared pleadingly up at him, and brought his hands up to cup his face. "I'll be so lonely without you." They were standing just inside Sandman's door, the pink haired boy doing his best to delay Kobra's departure. 

"I know, but you can stay with me in the desert for a few days, I'd love for you to come to the wedding with me."

"Of course, I just wish we didn't live so far apart." He stood on his tip-toes and pressed a kiss to the blonde's cheek. "I'm going to visit you as often as I can, and I'm bringing you food because there's no way you guys are healthy living off of dog food."

"Thank you Sunshine, I'm already looking forward to it." The shorter boy grinned and he smiled back, draping his arms over Sandman’s shoulders and playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "I love you." 

"I love you too. I just- I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stay out there though, I’ve got to help my crew handle everything.” He paused, his eyes flitting around the room before returning to Kobra’s face. “And Sil. Speaking of which, we should go find her and make sure she’s coming.” Kobra nodded and Sandman pulled him into a quick kiss, still having to pull the blonde down despite standing o n the tips of his toes. The shorter boy broke the kiss to breathe but stayed as close as he could, keeping their foreheads pressed together and their noses brushing. 

“We have to go,” Kobra whispered after a moment, taking Sandman’s hands, “We’re running late already.” Sandman whined in protest but didn’t resist as Sandman dragged him out the door.

Kobra watched Sil and Evie through the rear-view mirrors as they entered the desert, grinning at their gasps and wide eyes. 

“I remember this,” he muttered to his boyfriend, “I think I looked like that for about a month when we first got out. Poison still looks like that sometimes.” 

“It’s so  _ big _ !” Evie cried, “And  _ bright!” _ She sat forward and grabbed onto Sandman. “Is all of it like this?”

“You gotta ask Kobra, kiddo, he’s seen more of it than I have.” The girl turned eagerly toward him, for once her face not cold when she looked at him. 

"It's- yeah it's all like this. There are buildings sometimes, but mostly it's just golden sand and blue skies," he sighed, " _ Damn  _ it's good to be home. I love you Sunshine, but after living here the Underground is stifling. Sure I got more than two hours of sleep, but it was so weird looking up and seeing steel beams and concrete instead of open skies."

"You can say it Dear, you got bored," Sandman teased, taking hold of Kobra's free hand. "Don't worry, we get it." 

"This is incredible," Sil murmured, "I should have come here years ago." She turned to stare out the other window. Kobra watched through the mirror as she glanced nervously out across the sand. 

"Sil are you alright? You seem tense." 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just kinda worried about Evie being here." The little girl sat back next to her mother and huffed. 

"I'll be fine, I can take care of myself!"

"You're seven," Sandman blurted, and Evie slapped him on the top of his head. "Ow! Sil, your kid's attacking me!"

"Good." Sil grinned, ruffling Evie's hair. "You're a damn bastard." Evie grinned and crawled into Sandman's lap so she could get a better view. 

"What's a wedding?" She turned back to Sil, and the woman sighed and sat forward. 

"It's this ceremony from a long time ago that people would do when they really loved each other. It's kind of like a promise to be together forever." Evie listened carefully to Sil as she explained a few more details, but Kobra tuned her out, focussing instead on the familiar aspects of the desert he'd missed in the Underground. The mountains just barely visible on the horizon, the strange tints of color to the sky from residual radiation, the occasional home appliance just sitting in the middle of the sand, no buildings in sight. It took his breath away every time. 

"Why didn't you and Dad get married?" Evie asked, pulling Kobra back to reality. "You were like them." Sil didn't seem to have an answer, and neither did Sandman, so Kobra stepped in. 

"Honestly, I'm surprised Poison thought of it, they're just that extra, I guess." Sandman snorted, drawing a smile from Sil, who had started to look sad as she spoke. 

"I wish we had," she murmured, "I love the idea of it." Her eyes glazed over as she stared out of the window, and Sandman pulled Evie back into his lap to give the woman some space. 

The silence in the car soon became unbearable, and Kobra turned on the radio, finally letting himself relax as the familiar music overlayed with static, even rolling down the window and letting the dry air fill his lungs. He was home. 

###  Poison

"You have to sit  _ still _ Darling, I'm going to fuck it up if you keep fidgeting." Poison was twisting strands of Ghoul's hair into braids, though it was coming out less neat than they wanted, as Ghoul kept turning around and kissing them. 

“I know, I know,” he whined, “I can’t though, we’re finally getting married! I’m going to be your husband before the sun sets!” He turned and glanced up at them again, smiling brightly, and they raised an eyebrow, tugging on his hair so he turned around again. “Right, right. Sorry. I’m just so excited.”

“You’re so cute.” They finished his hair and wrapped their arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He leaned his head on theirs and took their hands, playing with the beads on their wrist. They studied their hands, smiling as Ghoul brushed his fingers along their knuckles.

“Is that my shirt?” 

“Of course, I couldn’t very well marry you in just my own clothes, could I?” He purred, draping his arms around their neck and grinning wildly. “And they smell like you, so that’s a bonus.” 

“You’re ridiculous,” they sighed, kissing the tip of his nose. 

“It’s what I do, my Love.” 

The two stayed there for some time, enjoying the energy of the moment and the company of the other before joining their friends outside. They didn’t say a word, just stood and held each other, Poison running their fingers across his skin and Ghoul holding their face, smiling softly as he studied their features. 

“We’re going to get married, Darling,” Poison whispered, “We’re getting married today." Ghoul smiled wider and pulled them into a kiss, his thumbs brushing across their cheekbones and tracing their jaw. 

“I love you,” he whispered into their mouth, “So fucking much.” They pulled back ever-so-slightly to study his eyes, his gorgeous green eyes that had made them hesitate all those years ago, that sometimes seemed to be the only anchor in the crazy clusterfuck that was their lives.

“Did I ever tell you why I call you Darling and nothing else?” They murmured, bringing their hands up to cup his face as he shook his head. “During… no. Before we were us, when I would do the…  _ things _ .... People had requests.” They paused, shuddering as they tried to keep the memories at bay. They focussed everything they had on Ghoul, on the warmth of his skin beneath their hands, on his arms wrapped around their neck, on the bright green of his eyes as he watched them. “Some of them wanted me to use names, and over the years they made me use so many of them so often that the names themselves became tainted in my mind. It became known that I wouldn’t refuse anything, but that was a lie. I drew the line when it came to you. When I first began to fall for you I called you Darling almost as a joke, but it stuck, and suddenly that was my name for you. It was the only name I hadn't used, the only one I  _ refused  _ to use, the only one worthy of you. You were the only thing they couldn't take from me, and I couldn’t call you by those names that they ruined, because you deserve so much better.”

Ghoul stood silent as he listened, his fingers brushing away the hair that had begun to fall in Poison's face. When they finished tears had begun to form in his eyes and he buried his face in their neck, clinging to them like his life depended on it. 

"You're so fucking wonderful," he said after a moment. "I love you so fucking much." They wrapped their arms around his waist and kissed his hair. 

"I love you too."

Poison paced the main room of the Diner, clutching their radio, waiting for someone to call and say something had happened to Kobra while he was driving home. Ghoul watched them worriedly, and after their third pass around the room he stepped in front of them and took hold of their face. 

"Poison my love, you need to stop worrying. Kobra can take care of himself, and I'm pretty sure Sandman would die before letting something happen to him." He gently pried the radio from their fingers and helped them sit down, pressing a kiss to their forehead. "We're getting married later, just focus on that, okay?" They nodded, and he crawled into their lap, running his fingers through their hair. "You're going to be okay. He's going to be okay." 

The sound of an engine filled the air, and Poison practically threw Ghoul off of them and ran to the door. They pulled out their blaster just in case it wasn't who they were expecting, and smiled at Ghoul as he moved to stand at the other side of the door. Cocking their head, they listened to the sound of Jet's footsteps on the roof. Ghoul's radio buzzed and Jet's voice crackled through it. 

"It's them. We're good." Poison sighed, all of the tension uncoiling from their shoulders as they holstered their gun. The car pulled to a stop outside the door and they burst through the door, throwing their arms around Kobra as soon as they saw him. 

"Whoa, hey, I missed you too," he laughed, wrapping his arms around his sibling. They pulled away and held him at arm's length, inspecting him for any injuries. 

"Are you alright, did anything happen?" 

"I'm  _ fine _ , Pois, don't worry about it,” he groaned, and they raised an eyebrow, glancing at his boyfriend, who had just come out of the car.

"Sandman, did anything happen to him? How much of a dumbass was he?” Kobra punched Poison’s arm and they flipped him off, not taking their eyes off of his boyfriend.

“Well, we both slept a lot. But not in the way you’re thinking,” Sandman looked up at Poison with a big, stupid grin on hs face and they suddenly had a strong urge to punch him in his stupid face.

Next to Poison, Kobra had crossed his arms and was turning bright red as he stepped back. “I hate you. I hate you so much,” he mumbled, hiding his face in his hands.

“Well, didn’t seem like you hated me last night.” Kobra was turning redder and redder everytime Sandman opened his mouth, and the boy hooked an arm around his waist.

“I’m literally going to murder you.” Kobra pushed his boyfriend off him and ran fingers through his hair.

“Boys! We have  _ two _ kids here! Shut the fuck up!” Sil was holding her hands over Evie’s ears and glaring at everyone else. Poison raised their hands in a ‘It’s not my fault’ gesture and she smiled at them. “Hey Pois, how have you guys been?” Poison smiled and ran a hand through their hair. 

"Wonderful, you?" 

"Better. Not great, but better, you know?" They nodded, just as Ghoul came up behind them and rested his chin on their shoulder. "Congrats, by the way. On tying the knot, I'm happy for you guys." 

“Ghoul!” Evie pulled herself out of Sil’s arms and ran toward the boy, wrapping her arms around his legs and grinning. “This place is so cool! I can’t believe you  _ live _ here!”

“You’re welcome to visit anytime you want," he laughed, and the girl beamed. Sil sighed, and Poison noticed she was leaning heavily on the car, and her hair stuck out at odd angles. Heavy bags lingered under her eyes, highlighting a sharpness to her face that wasn’t there when they had last seen her.

“Sil, you look a little worn out,” they said, “Do you want us to take care of Evie for a few days so you can rest?” Evie whirled around to face her mother, her face hopeful.

“I don’t know… It’s not that I don’t trust you guys, but this place is huge and I think I’d be too worried to properly relax.” They nodded and Evie groaned.

“ _ MooOOoom! _ ”

“You’re my  _ kid _ ,” the woman insisted, “I can’t just  _ leave you here. _ ” Her voice was slightly teasing but Poison could see the stern look on her face. She must’ve really been clinging to her daughter right now, she was all Sil had.

“I’ll be fine! They can teach me how to shoot a gun!” Evie’s face was lit with excitement, her eyes bright and a big smile on her face. She clapped her hands together as she looked from the boys to Sil.

“No! You’re seven!” She ran fingers through her hair as she tried to reason with her daughter

“Exactly! I’m old enough to learn!” Sil looked to the others helplessly, and Ghoul shrugged. Poison tapped him on the back of the head.

“Darling, no!” They hissed, “She’s a kid, she doesn’t even live here. She doesn’t need to know.” 

“But what if something happens? It’s better that she knows rather than getting hurt because no one taught her how to fight.”

“They teach us how to fight at home, you know,” Sandman said, pushing himself off the car. “I bet I could take you on.”

“Oh please, you’re a fuckin’  _ wimp _ . I could-”

“Darling, not now. You can fight him tomorrow if you want, but I’m not having you fuck up your face on our wedding day.” He opened his mouth to protest but they pressed a finger to his lips. “Hush. You’re an idiot and I love you. Now I’m going to help the girls get ready and fix my hair, don’t destroy anything, m’kay? Or anyone.” Ghoul grinned against their finger and they tapped his nose with a smile. “Love you.”

The sun slowly began to sink behind the mountains in the distance, creating a soft golden light that made everything glow. Poison and Ghoul stood just inside the doors of the diner, adjusting each other’s hair and jackets. 

“This is your last chance.” The shorter boy warned, “Five more minutes and you’ll have to put up with my bullshit forever.” Poison just smiled.

“Why do you think I’m marrying you, Darling?” They wrapped slender arms around Ghoul’s waist and pulled him in, kissing him sweetly.

“Save it for the ceremony, Gorgeous, there are people waiting for us,” Ghoul chided, wriggling out of Poison’s grip and adjusting his clothes. He took their hand and pulled them toward the doors, the light catching his eyes as he glanced back at them and taking their breath away. 

This was actually happening. They were walking had-in-hand with the love of their life, about to be bound to him forever. Nothing would be able to separate them, at least not permanently. They would always be able to find each other, no matter what became of them, they would always find their way to him. A smile grew on their lips and they pulled him closer, linking their arms together and covering his hand with their own. He glanced over and smiled, strands of hair they had carefully pulled back earlier now falling around his face, but they didn’t care. It was bound to happen anyway, he was always touching the braids they put in, and strands always fell out. At this point it was just adorable, framing his features like some sort of painting. They tucked one of the longer strands behind his ear, their fingers lingering on his skin. 

"I love you," Poison whispered as they came to a stop in front of Dr. Death, their hands linked. Ghoul grinned and winked, giving their hands a squeeze. D smiled up at them then cleared his throat, speaking out to their friends. 

“Hello and welcome. If you’re here, you’ve managed to not piss off these assholes, so congratulations. I’ve never done this before, but I’ve seen a lot of movies and these two are practically children to me, so when they asked me to preside over this whole thing I couldn’t say no. If you weren’t aware, these two are getting married, after three whole years of the rest of us wishing they’d just get it over with. This is usually the part where the priest goes on a long speech about God or something, but I’ll keep it short. May the Phoenix Witch bless this union and ensure them many years of happiness and love. You may say your vows.” Poison took a deep, shuddering breath, keeping their eyes locked on Ghoul’s as they began to speak.

“The day we met, I found you half beaten to death by a patrol outside the Diner, a hole in your shoulder, but you still stood up and tried to pretend you were alright and could actually take me on. You had your gun in my face but all I could see were your eyes and it was like some lost part of myself was found. I had already started falling for you, even then, though I didn’t realize it at the time. Then you collapsed and I had to get you back on your feet, and I kept thinking you would leave once you were better, but you didn’t cause you said you had nowhere to go, and every day I liked you more and more. Over the next year I kept falling, harder and faster every day, in love with everything you did. I was free-falling without a parachute, but there was no way I would even want one. I fell in love with everything about you, your laugh, the way you throw your whole body into playing the guitar, the way your eyes light up when you come up with an idea for a new bomb. I lived for the days when you smiled at me, and sometimes I would try and fool myself into thinking there was something more, that you could notice me in the way I noticed you. And then came that night by the fire, when you said you were in love with someone, and it was like my world was crashing down around me. You were in love with someone else, and it wasn't my place to dictate what you do, so I accepted it. As long as you were happy, I could learn to be happy. At that point I started to convince myself that you couldn’t possibly love me back, and I spiralled, and I almost lost myself, but you pulled me out of it.” They pulled their hands out of his and cupped his face, their thumbs brushing his cheekbones. “You saved my life, in so many ways. You make me so fucking happy, and sometimes I’m scared I’ll wake up and this all will have been a dream, because there’s no way this could possibly be real. But every day I wake up, and you’re there, and it’s like coming alive again, seeing you smiling at me like you do and kissing you and holding you, you mean so fucking much to me, it hurts. You put me back together after I had torn myself to shreds, and you’ve always treated me with the utmost gentleness and kindness and I absolutely adore you. Everything about you is absolutely fucking perfect and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life loving you.” They had started crying at some point, the tears rolling gently down their cheeks. “I love you," they whispered.

Ghoul smiled, and brought his hands up to brush away their tears. They smiled back and twisted one of the loose strands of his hair around their fingers. They watched as Ghoul opened his mouth a few times, then closed it again and just smiled at them. 

"I love you so much," he finally said after a moment, practically choking his words out. "Fuck, I promised myself I wouldn't cry!" He wiped at his eyes and Poison laughed, taking his hands and kissing his palms.

"Take your time, Darling." He was so adorable, staring up at them with tearful eyes and one of the widest smiles they had ever seen. He laughed and took a shuddering breath, pulling their linked hands to his chest.

“When we first met I fucking hated you. I thought you were such an asshole, and I know this isn’t nearly as romantic as what you said, but I think it makes it that much more amazing that we’re here today. I’m not nearly as good with words as you are, but I love you. With everything I am, I love you. You’re sweet and funny and cute and fucking  _ gorgeous _ . You’re amazing, and I still can’t believe you fell in love with me. I could spend literal hours telling you everything I love about you, but I’m not going to because we have to do other things today. But know that I love you. I love you so fucking much. I never want to be alone again, and I know because of you I won’t have to.”

“Always and forever?” Poison stepped closer to Ghoul, tucking a stray hair behind his ear and sliding their arms around his waist.

“Always and forever.” Ghoul’s hands, now free, cupped Poison’s face.

“By the power vested in me by you two bastards and a microphone, I now pronounce you partners in life and beyond. Wherever the Witch takes you, may your souls always find each other,” Dr. Death said with a smile. “You may now kiss.” That was all the permission Ghoul needed. Hands still on their face, he pulled their mouth to his and kissed them like his life depended on it. Poison could remember the first time they kissed him, how each point where their bodies met felt like a star exploding under their skin, the way his mouth fit perfectly on theirs, the feel of his calloused hands on their cheeks. Every time they kissed had felt the same, the same feeling of euphoria, the same feeling of rightness, the same feeling of him. This kiss though, this one was different. Time stopped. The world fell away, and it was just the two of them, mouths pressed together, Poison’s hands on Ghoul’s hips and Ghoul’s hands on Poison’s cheeks and tangled in their hair. They were at the center of a storm, the world was falling apart around them, but right there, right then, everything was calm and beautiful and perfect.

Poison kept their arm around Ghoul's waist as they approached their sibling. After the ceremony ended, everyone had escaped the heat by heading into the diner. Kobra sat with Sandman at the bar, his arm slung over the other boy's shoulders. 

"Congrats guys, we're really happy for you," Kobra said as they sat down. 

"Thanks!" Poison grinned and laid their head on Ghoul's shoulder, unable to stop smiling. "Things are finally working out for us." They stretched and kissed his cheek, curling their fingers into his hair. Sandman eyed the couple, his gaze travelling up and down Poison’s features especially. They raised an eyebrow as he smiled and opened his mouth to speak.

“Damn, the things I’d do for a taste of  _ that _ ,” he said teasingly, glancing at Kobra who he still was draped over. “Ghoul, you definitely got lucky, tying yourself to this one.” Kobra snorted and Poison smiled into Ghoul’s neck, their cheeks beginning to heat up.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Ghoul’s grip tightened around their waist.

“It was a joke Darling, I’m fine,” they insisted, but he held them tighter still.

“Are you sure, ‘cause I’ll still fight him.” He turned to Sandman. “I don’t want to hear any of that bullshit from you, or anyone else. They’ve been to hell and back and-” Poison sighed and pressed a finger to Ghoul’s lips with a smile. 

“Ghoul. I’m fine. I know he was kidding.” They kissed him softly and glanced at the others. “He’s protective. I’m sorry. He loves me so much, I guess I’m the lucky one.” They pulled him into his lap and brushed a hand through his hair. “I’m okay,” they whispered, “We’re married, be happy.” He sighed and me lted into their touch.

“I know,” he sighed. “I love you.” They kissed his temple and smiled as Sil and Evie approached. 

“That was beautiful. You guys are adorable.” Evie grinned and climbed up on the table, leaning against the wall.

"Mom cried.”

"Shit, are you alright?" Poison sat up, a worried look on their face. Sil held up her hands. 

"I'm fine, don't worry, it was just really touching." They nodded and sank back into the booth, pulling Ghoul back with them.

"Good." Evie snorted and sat forward, resting her elbows in her knees. 

"Dad would've made fun of her, she was a dramatic motherfucker." Sandman seemed to think this was the funniest thing in the world, throwing his head back, laughing as Sil raised a questioning eyebrow at her daughter.

"Evie!" The girl shrugged and sat back again. 

"It's true."

"You're so like him," Sil sighed, and Sandman grabbed Evie and pulled her into his lap.

"You're going to be just like him when you get older. You even look the same." She squirmed in his arms but Sandman held tight, ruffling her hair. Ghoul shifted in Poison's lap, his fingers beginning to tap their thigh. 

"Do you want to go?" They whispered to him, and he nodded slightly, just enough to brush their nose. 

"Poison and I are going to turn in," Ghoul said, climbing out of the booth and taking their hand. "It's been a long day."

"Alright, sleep well." Kobra gave his sibling a half-wave before returning his attention to Sandman, who winked at the pair as they pushed through the back doors.

Ghoul pulled Poison into their room and shut the door behind him, smiling widely. They grinned back and pulled him closer, cupping his face. He pressed a kiss to their lips and pushed them gently so they fell onto the mattress, pulling him with them.

"Is this okay?" He asked, and they nearly died of happiness. He was so fucking sweet, always looking out for them even when he could barely stand it sometimes. 

"You're so perfect," they murmured, dragging their fingers along his jaw. "I'm fantastic." Poison smiled cheekily and lightly nudged their knee between Ghoul’s legs, earning a strangled mewl from his mouth and a little squeeze on their side.

Poison then shifted so they were straddling his legs, with their hands on either side of him, keeping him pinned down. They felt Ghoul smile into the kiss, a soft chuckle sending vibrations down their lips. Ghoul wrapped his arms around Poison’s middle, crossing his legs behind them, keeping the two hooked together. Poison pressed themself down against him so they were laying completely on top of him, feeling Ghoul lightly nibble on their lower lip in an attempt to deepen the kiss. Poison let him, letting out a soft, satisfied noise as Ghoul’s hands trailed under their shirt, one hand rubbing their chest and the other trying to remove their clothing. Poison let him and allowed him to take control from there. There were no doubts, no fears. He loved them. He kept them safe. They did the same for him. He was everything they could ever want and he knew just what to do. He was perfect. 

Poison rested their head on Ghoul's chest, their fingers tracing his tattoos and his twirling their hair. 

"I'm so proud of you," he said, his voice low, "You've come so fucking far. And you're still so gorgeous, even covered in dirt and sweat." They shifted so they could see his face, see him smiling down at them. 

"And other things," they teased, and pressed a kiss to his skin. He snorted, kissing their head. "I love you."

"I love you too." They shifted again so they could kiss him properly, slow and soft and gentle. The feeling of his skin flush against theirs, usually disconcerting, almost made them feel safer, as if nothing could touch them but him. 

For the first time they could remember, the two of them were happy. Truly happy. Nothing could ruin the moment, this perfect moment and nothing would ever reach them. Maybe tomorrow everything would be back to normal, everything would be dark and scary and wild all over again, but for now at least, things were perfect. Poison felt safer then they had felt in years, Ghoul was finally free from doubt, Kobra was  _ happy _ , and Jet no longer needed to carry the weight of his friends on his back. Now, perfect days in the zones were few and far between, but today definitely made it on the leaderboard. Today was the beginning of a whole new life.

**Author's Note:**

> So this may be part of like a series or something because Ash and I really wanted more Kobra content in here so definitely that if I continue this. It might be a while, but definitely not less than a week.  
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, please leave a comment!


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